I apologize, but this was all I had written way back before I lost my motivation for this story. T_T A lot of you, maybe all, are gonna be super upset with me and I'm sorry, but I really just lost my inspiration to keep going with this fanfic. After this bit the rest of the "plot" I had originally planned out will be explained, kinda.

"I don't deserve your love~ but you give it to me anyway. Can't get enough, you're everything I need. And when I walk away, you take off running and come right after me. It's what you do... and I don't deserve you."

When Shin-Ah awoke the next morning, he found that he was resting on someone's lap. It felt different than usual, not as firm as what he was used to, but softer. He thought nothing of it, too tired to think, and merely curled closer around the person he cuddling with. There was a small gasp of surprise (definitely male) before a quiet chuckle, a hand patting him on the head. Shin-Ah's eyebrows furrowed at that, finding the action even odder than the body structure of the leg he was currently using as a pillow. Normally a pair of small fingers would be running through his hair, fiddling with the small choppy strands. Even more so-the scent was all wrong.

With a start his eyes shot open, the male bolting into an upright position and slamming the mask over his face without hesitation. Kija let out a yelp, startled by the action, and quickly got into a fetal pose. "Sh-Shin-Ah!?" The Blue Dragon stared at the white-haired male from behind his mask, eyes wide and a frowned etched deeply on his lips as confusion and surprise took over. "A-Ah, s-sorry for... that..." Kija let out a breath, realizing Shin-Ah wasn't going to hurt him, and relaxed. The White Dragon placed a hand over his chest. "You gave me such a scare!"

"..." Shin-Ah lowered his head, apologetic. But then he tilted his head, staring at the male questionably. Kija, though unable to see his full expression, understood what he was trying to say and stammered,

"I went to check on you earlier after I woke up, but you... looked uncomfortable. You always had a companion when resting, so I figured if I offered to be your p-pillow you might... s-sleep better..." His pale cheeks colored a little pink, clearly embarrassed saying this aloud. He then cleared his throat, shaking his head fervently. Kija held a fist triumphantly in the air, grinning. "It worked! Your pained expression turned peaceful in a matter of seconds!"

Pained... expression? Shin-Ah's mouth opened slightly, realization hitting him, and as he stood he could feel some invisible force stabbing him in the chest. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he knew he was afraid. Deeply afraid. He looked around frantically, Ao dangling from his sleeve and hanging on for dear life, and stumbled over to the closest tree. Within moments he was climbing it, ignoring the protests of Kija and Yun (who had been cooking previously, but upon hearing Kija scream focused his attention on them) and pulled his mask back over his head so he could stare into the horizon. Irene...!

She was there, in the boat, curled up in a corner. Her arms had multiple cuts and bruises on them, dark circles colored underneath her eyes, and she looked exceedingly ill.

I need to be there. He has to be there. She needs him. He can't protect her when she's away from him; he's never going to let her leave his side again. Even if she hates him, even if she gets upset, he's not losing her. He can't. Shin-Ah stared for a long moment, just observing her, before taking a deep breath and swallowing down the lump forming in the back of his throat. Hold on the branch tightening, the Blue Dragon slid and jumped off the branch. Yun let out a loud shriek, jumping back a few feet in alarm as Shin-Ah landed in front of them with a loud THUD!

Taking note of Shin-Ah turning, foot lifting off the ground, Yun lunged. His fingers grasped onto the back of his kimono, pulling on it and digging his heels into the earth to try and stop him. "What the heck do you think you're doing, Shin-Ah!? You can't leave just yet; you haven't eaten breakfast! Besides, you can't take the Green Dragon on all by yourself- who knows what kind of tricks he has up his sleeve!?" The man stopped, turning his head just slightly to inform Yun he was listening. The young boy felt a quiver of relief in his heart, suddenly scared of what might actually happen to the dragon he has yet to meet if Shin-Ah ever got his hands on him. Yun could still remember very vividly the sight of Shin-Ah coated in blood, the soldiers dead and surrounding him... Blinking back tears, Yun continued with feigned anger, "You are not leaving without the Thunder Beast and Kija! Got it!? This is not a one-man mission; if we're getting Irene back, then we're doing it the right way! Now sit down and wait for me to finish cooking!"

Shin-Ah went still, turning his head to look down at Yun from behind his mask. The boy tried not to cower at the intense gaze on him, but it was rather hard with how easily intimidating the Blue Dragon could often appear.

"You are eating," Yun repeated, hardening his voice, "and then we are waiting for the Thunder Beast to get back. Then, and only then, will we all head back out to the town to try and find Irene. Okay?"

"..." Shin-Ah didn't speak, merely looking back out to the sea for a few moments, before lowering his head and giving a solemn nod. Yun relaxed, releasing Shin-Ah's coat, and sighed.

"Thank you..."

...

Even though Jae-Ha had promised that the men wouldn't harm me, I still couldn't help but be frightened by them. As such, when they all came down to sleep in the hammocks, I remained hiding in a dark corner behind a few barrels and kept awake. It was only when they were all asleep I had snuck out to the deck, nerves relaxing ever so slightly now that the men were all out of my sight. Hands a little shaky, I walked over to the ledge and gripped the wooden railing tightly, staring down into the dark blue abyss that was the water.

Blue... I leaned over and rested my head on my arms, as if looking for his image in the waves. I know you don't hate me... I know you won't hate me. He probably did come after me, seeing me attacked. He would never abandon me, even if it would be better for him. He's too possessive, too... alone. I was the same. But it would be easier if you did believe that I hated you.

I can't look at him and tell him "goodbye". I can't stand seeing his sad face, the way his posture would slump and how he would look down. But if he kept near me, if he kept beside me, I would end up ruining him. I'm already a messed up person... I don't won't him to end up the same. People end up taking traits from the ones they're around, after all. I'm toxic and I refuse to poison him any longer. If I just keep avoiding him, if they're unable to find Jae-Ha...

Then it'll be fine. Hopefully. Maybe. Probably... not.

I groaned, burying my face as I tried to imagine how he would react when he finally managed to get to the boat. One of Shin-Ah's most defining traits was his stubborness. Even though I would like to believe that he hated me, that he most likely believed that I now hated him because he probably followed me into town, he would still manage to find his way here. And even though I say I'll leave him, even though I tried, I would always end up running back to him in the end...

He's the most important person to me and... and even though I know it's best for him to stay away from me, I can't run away or deny him when he's in front of me. I want him so close to me it hurts and when he's not I go mad. He shouldn't be near me; he can't be near me for the sake of him remaining himself... but I'm unable to push him away.

H-He's g-going to come here a-and I'm going to run right back into his arms...

I'm scared. I love Shin-Ah, but these emotions are a mess. I can't be near him, but I have to be near him. I don't want to to hurt him, but I want him to hate me. I want to love him, but I want him to think I hate him. He needs to hate me. He needs to leave me. He doesn't understand his feelings and I don't understand what's going on inside of my own mind. Maybe I deserved everything's that happened to me up to this point; the pain, the abuse, the fear...

I'm just a mess of a person that doesn't even really have a meaning anymore. Aside from that little kid I helped before I got here, and those few people who were sick, I didn't really do much to attribute to this era. I'm just dragging everyone down by this point. Sighing, I pushed myself up into a standing position and looked around, glancing over my shoulder to gaze at the ship I was now on and town that had been left behind. The family I had left behind. I'm sorry... but please don't come after me. I'm not someone you need in your lives.

All I'll do is lead you to ruin.

"...Is there a reason why someone as young as you is sighing as though the world is ending? ?"

I jumped and let out a small shout, whirling around to see who had spoken. It was an older woman, around late sixties, with stern eyes and grey hair tied back in a bun. She looked at me with a curious stare, her thin lips turned down into a heavy frown. She was very intimidating, but not so much that I would feel the need to run. "Wh-Who are you?"

"I'm asking the questions here, girl." She raised a wrinkled hand up and pressed a cigar to her lips, inhaling and letting out a small breath of smoke. "A brat of a bird came down to my cabin earlier to tell me he found a healer; someone different. Someone like him. S'that you? One of them magic dragons from the stories?"

I eyed her strangely, wondering what the reason for this conversation was. "I..." I turned away to look back at the water, the blue shade reminding me all too much of a certain man. "I guess you could put it that way, yeah. I can heal people, cure them, take their pain for my own. Other than that, I'm pretty useless."

So, basically, the boys (Hak, Kija, and Shin-Ah would go out into town and Shin-Ah would be the one to confront Jae-Ha. After the rest appear and Jae-Ha meets Yona, they go to the ship. Irene is hiding below deck in teh room avoiding all the male crew members because PTSD, and Shin-Ah freaks. She only knows he's there because of the dragon connection and she can hear people shouting, so to avoid any drama she reveals herself and he pretty much tackles her to the ground? I guess? Kisses her, pretty much reveals their relationship, and Yun is just all "It's about time, you damn crazies" and Jae-Ha is a bit annoyed. But then Yona has to get to healing plant to prove herself or whatever, and Irene suggests going undercover in disguise.

From there my mind got stuck on two outcomes- Irene goes with and Yun does her make-up to make her look more Korean, or she just sticks with the boat where Jae-Ha and Hak teaches her some quick tricks with a dagger in case she gets caught in any upcoming battles. If she goes with the gang then when Yona gets smacked and glares, Irene snaps at Kum-Ji (I think that was his name, sorry, it's been a while) who hits her for disobeying. There he ends up discovering a bunch of make-up on his hand and you can see a partial outline of her tattoo and they aggressively wipe the make-up off and one of Kum-Ji's subordinates mentions something about "dragons" and "healers" and he kinda drags her off to stick in her own separate room since she's now "Special Cargo".

(I guess you can kinda see which one I had been more leaning towards to, haha)

The rest I don't really remember what I planned out, but then Zeno just shows up at their campsite and Irene recognizes him- calling him out- before getting momentarily possessed by Haru (the original brown dragon, who is now soul-sharing or whatever with her) Note, Haru means "Day" while Haebinna means "Sun". Haru, back in the day, constantly flirted with the Blue Dragon Abi- because being a god he could do whatever he wanted, and quite frankly Abi was gorgeous. When the Crimson Dragon King was dying, Haru made a deal with an Ancient Silver Dragon and casted a spell- having his soul transcend time to find one who would work as the perfect "incarnation" for the new brown dragon. Spell didn't quite work the way it was intended to and it got stuck with Irene, who became really unstable after all the trauma that happened to her whilst in Ancient Imperial Korea. But after Zeno joins the gang Irene finally gets her sense of calm, the soul within her own calming down due to the presence of its twin brother.

Note, Haru himself is a little unstable since his scales rusted from gold-to-brown. So in a way, rather than finding the "perfect" host he found one that was just like himself. Funny how things happen. Haru was very clingy and possessive, over both Zeno and Crimson Dragon King, and mourned over Abi's continuous rejection of his advances. That's why Irene was brought to Shin-Ah. And later, when they visit Yun's oracle friend, it's revealed that Irene's mother survived the car crash and that helps a LOT with her mental state. She'll still be overprotective and anxious, but not as much as she was. She's able to properly focus and actually help the gang, rather than focus on all the terrible things that could happen.

Annnd that's all I've got. Again, I'm really sorry.

If I ever do pick up this story again it'll be as a complete rewrite. T_T I'm the worst, I know. I'm so sorry.