According to the current Earth calendar, today was the thirteenth day in April, an important day for a multitude of reasons. It was the coming of age day of a particular individual, and with that came the inauguration of the new Priests of the Four.

The Priests of the Four were the highest echelon of the clergy. Their role was to commune directly with the gods and relay their desires and guidance onto the populace. In order to correctly convey the importance of the Four it is necessary to explain the pantheons of divinity.

When the human race was created and the universe was born, the beings who created it - a race of aliens from a planet named Alterina - presided over their children as givers of guidance and knowledge. They taught primitive humans how to use the planet's resources to further their development and brought levels of technology that were thought science fiction. Eventually, however, infighting between the trolls themselves caused them to lose interest in most of their subjects and the humans - who had become complacent and lazy - made no efforts to improve their own technology, as they didn't even understand what they already had. It was decided that somehow the connection with the gods needed to be re-established, and so the first churches nominated the original Priests of the Four.

The four pantheons were decided arbitrarily based on old manuscripts detailing Troll society conventions surrounding blood colour and caste. Each priest would be allocated a title alongside their position which would be given to them by the gods themselves.

This brings us back to the present day, and the coming of age day of one of the new Priests of the Four. According to Earth custom, this meant that today would be the day that the Priests were indoctrinated on broadcast to the entire population, through the use of giant screens in the plaza of every capital city - some of the only remaining technology from the golden age.

Dave chewed his bottom lip in frustration, staring at himself in the ornate mirror. He never wanted to be a priest, didn't take his studies seriously, and always had his sister-but-not rubbing in his face how much more she'd learned than he had. The only thing he was any good at was making music and the old tongue. The teen staring back at him looked as frustrated as he felt. It was a tradition he'd been told, that he would wear the purple robes of Derse. As would Rose, and John and Jade would wear the gold of Prospit. Planets that no human had ever visited but coveted for their significance. Dave wondered sometimes if they even existed.

Every Priest of the Four was supposed to have felt connected to the gods since their coming of age day but he had never heard their call. Rose claimed to talk to them in her dreams - but Dave wasn't sure if that was something else entirely. Regardless it was stupid to worry about it now, though he still felt a dark pit opening up in his stomach at the thought of it.

The Four had been sheltered most of their lives save for contact with their trainers, and the pressure of presenting himself to literally millions of people was not sitting well. Running a hand through his hair nervously he reached for the frames of his glasses. He'd been warned, had it stressed to him that he shouldn't wear them during the rite, but he felt so naked without them. Opening up the laptop he'd been given, of which few remained in existence, he decided talking to someone might assuage his nerves.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:15 -

TG: hey rose
TG: rose?
TG: seriously throw me a bone here
TG: im freaking out in this purple ass tribute to pope sweet jesus and lord have mercy
TG: if pimps could still do their thang id be up there with the best of them
TT: Dave. I'm not sure why you felt the need to talk to me now of all occasions.
TT: I'm busy, and if I recall correctly, you should be indisposed yourself.
TG: yeah but
TG: ok
TG: what if hypothetically
TG: i think this is all stupidly shit and that the gods dont even exist anyway?
TT: I would say that, hypothetically, your hypothesis is 'stupidly shit' as I've spoken to them myself.
TT: They are interesting.
TT: If a little different to how the scripture describes them.
TG: i still think youre just tripping mad amounts of balls in your dreams
TG: the balls are tripping so hard that they dont even exist in this plane of reality
TG: if the balls were to trip any more they would rip a hole in space time
TG: and suddenly begin to exist
TG: and we would all be like
TG: whoa where did these balls come from why are they just appearing in mid air like that?
TG: that would make me have a religious experience unlike any other
TT: Dave. You ramble when you're avoiding things. Go get ready.
TG: i already am
TG: give me some credit wow
TT: Already? There's a joke to be made there about anxiety and coming first.
TG: haha like we werent all thinking that
TT: Yes, but my point still stands. I am busy, I will see you later.

- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! -

TG: rose?
TG: damn it come on

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:25 -

Scowling a little, Dave closed the laptop. Less than two hours to go. He still couldn't bring himself to take off his shades. A little bit of deviation from tradition never hurt anyone, he told himself. If the gods were real and were really that bothered about his eyes they could come down here and see them for themselves.

Thinking about it too much was beginning to make his palms sweat, if they were real and he'd been shirking all his duties then what? He didn't want to think about that. The message tone pinged loudly and he immediately brightened at the idea of a new distraction. Opening the laptop up again the colour inexplicably drained from his face. He was being messaged by someone he didn't recognise, and a strange feeling of numinous and dread washed over him.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:35 -

CG: DAVE.
CG: TELL ME YOU AREN'T *SERIOUSLY* GOING TO LEAVE THOSE THINGS ON.
CG: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FUCKING SACRED AND DEAR TO YOU TAKE THOSE THINGS OFF YOUR STUPID PINK MUG AND FACE THIS WITH AT LEAST AN OUNCE OF SELF-RESPECT.

For a few minutes Dave couldn't bring himself to reply. He felt his blush spread across his entire face and the familiar feeling of inescapable embarrassment wash over him in waves. His breathing hastened and the world was feeling increasingly further away by the second. With shaking hands he swallowed his fear and briefly thumbed the frame of his shades. How did they know about that?

There was a sinking feeling that he should know who this person was, that perhaps this person was about to make real everything he wished wasn't. The message tone pinged again and forced him to pay attention.

CG: ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOMETHING? YOU REPLY WHEN SOMEONE TALKS TO YOU. CG: IT'S FUCKING RUDE OTHERWISE.
CG: ARE YOU RUDE, DAVE?
CG: ARE YOU AN UNCIVILISED SACK OF SHIT?
TG: uh hey
TG: sorry i was in the middle of something
CG: OH SORRY I'M SURE YOU HAVE SO MUCH IMPORTANT STUFF GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
CG: LIKE SITTING THERE LOOKING LIKE A WRIGGLER STRAIGHT OUT OF THE FUCKING SLIME WHEN YOU GET A MESSAGE FROM THE PERSON WHO YOU WERE LITERALLY MADE TO SPEAK TO.
TG: yo dude
TG: chill the fuck out
TG: who are you?
TG: gonna introduce yourself or what?
TG: speaking about manners and being rude but you havent even let a brother know what your name is
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
CG: I AM LITERALLY GESTURING AT MY SCREEN IN FRUSTRATION OVER HOW STUPID ONE LITTLE PINK MEATSACK CAN BE.
TG: im gonna assume you only have two hands
TG: gesture cant be that fucking impressive to type at the same time
TG: (humans call that a burn)
CG: DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING WHEN YOU WERE STUDYING? AT ALL?
TG: i learned that all that shit was lame asf
CG: WELL GREAT JOB ASSHOLE. GET THAT FUCKING BOOK OUT.
TG: which book?
CG: THE MASSIVE PURPLE TOME ON YOUR SIDE TABLE THAT COULD LITERALLY MURDER YOU IF I DROPPED IT ON YOUR PATHETIC THINK PAN.
CG: THEN AGAIN, IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S PRETTY EMPTY SO MAYBE YOU COULD LIVE WITHOUT IT.
CG: (WE CALL THAT A BURN TOO.)
CG: WE DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT SHIT FOR YOU TO IGNORE IT FUCKWITT.
TG: id be less likely to ignore it if you held back some of that anger man
TG: sounds like you got a lot of repressed issues
TG: wanna talk about it?
TG: this can be like an aa meeting except we talk about our FEELINGS
TG: hey
TG: dude?
TG: its not good to bottle this stuff up
TG: come talk to aunty strider
TG: lets get all babys first sleepover sharing time up in here
CG: FUCK YOU DAVE.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:00 -

Despite the way he handled the conversation, Dave was shaken up. They knew his name, they seemed to know about what was happening today, and they knew his book was on his bedside table - albeit buried under all sorts of detritus. He tried to rationalise it, there were a lot of people who knew his name and what was happening today. It was pretty important after all. Maybe this was just someone playing an elaborate prank on him. John liked pranks, this isn't something that would be beyond him.

Taking deep breaths he swiped the various things piled on top of the aforementioned book onto the floor and heaved it into his lap as he sat on the edge of his bed. It was bound in ancient leather and stamped with a spirograph motif that was prevalent in their religious symbology. He prised it open, somehow knowing exactly where he needed to be looking. There was a list, the only list of its kind in the entire book. Each of the four books had one, hastily scribbled by hand in black ink which gave the names of the relevant pantheon's members followed by another name and a pair of letters. Following the list down the page Dave felt his mouth dry up when he read the words 'carcinoGeneticist', throwing the book down onto the floor with an almighty crash. No. This wasn't happening, this wasn't real. If he didn't read the rest he could pretend it never happened. CG who? Yeah, that's right, some kid who was playing a trick on him.

Taking deep shuddering breaths he risked a peek at the page which remained open to him from the floor.

Name Username Abbr
Megido, Aradia apocalypseArisen AA
Nitram, Tavros adiosToreador AT
Vantas, Karkat carcinoGeneticist CG

There it was, as plain as the nose on his face. It was one of them. Why now? Why not contact him until today? Why contact him today after showing no interest in anything to do with him? He was the 'mute' prophet, the one of the Four who was unable to speak to any divine powers. As such he had been adamant that the others were lying and were actually unable to speak to anyone too and the whole thing was an elaborate joke.

Karkat Vantas. What was it about that name he could remember? Something was pressing on the inside of his skull, information just waiting to come to the front of his mind. Picking the book back up again he flipped through the pages until he reached the new testament. The old testament was written by the gods themselves - or so it was told - and the new testament was added to give information on the interactions between them and humankind. Including the eventual abandonment.

"Karkat Vantas," Dave read aloud, pretty sure at this point that if this was all real his pantheon could hear him speaking. He hoped they at least appreciated his good pronunciation. That's how godhood works right?

"So looks like you haven't spoken to any of the Four for like, ever."

So that was it, he remembered now, Karkat's sign was regarded as one of the most neglected and unlucky. He never spoke to the Priests of the Four and when one claimed he did they would suffer some kind of reprimand. Shrugging, he placed the book back on the side table, making sure to pile his things back on top of it so that it wouldn't seem like he particularly cared. Even though he did, he cared so much it was beginning to give him heartburn.

Dave had struggled with crippling anxiety for as long as he could remember, in fact it began long before he was made aware of his impending religious indoctrination. Something that had always been able to distract him from the thoughts swirling around in his head had been to listen to and create music - or to scribble something ironically hilarious down on scraps of paper. It was doubly ironic now that humans lacked the ability to mass produce paper and it was worth its weight in gold. Well, almost.

Today, he decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to plug his headphones into his mixing desk and disappear into his own world. It was an incredibly privileged thing to be able to access old technology like this. Much of what was had been destroyed since the abandonment, in the various holy wars fought across the globe, or simply by the passage of time. Time was a cruel and unforgiving mistress. Dave felt like he understood this in a way other people didn't seem to get.

He was so absorbed in his internal critique of the tracks he was listening to that he ignored his laptop entirely.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:45 -

CG: SERIOUSLY DAVE.
CG: WOULD YOU FUCKING PICK THIS THING UP AND ANSWER ME.
CG: I'M TRYING TO BE NICE AND SAVE YOU SOME EMBARRASSMENT. ISN'T THAT SO BENEVOLENT OF ME?
CG: IF YOU DECIDE YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO WEAR THOSE GOD-AWFUL ABOMINATIONS OF HEADGEAR THEY'LL JUST MAKE YOU TAKE THEM OFF ON CAMERA.
CG: I DON'T MAKE THE RULES, WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING IRONIC IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE ALL ABOUT THAT SHIT.
CG: DAVE.
CG: DAVE!
CG: HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS.
CG: WOW, HELLO KARKAT. THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME AND TAKING AN INTEREST IN US FOR ONCE.
CG: YOU'RE WELCOME SHITSTAIN, IT'S REALLY GREAT OF YOU TO RECOGNISE WHAT AN IMPORTANT OPPORTUNITY THIS IS!
CG: SERIOUSLY GREAT JOB.
CG: DAVE.
CG FUCK THIS.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:55 -

The 'Mute Prophet' would read these messages eventually, but not until long after their intended point of receipt. Instead right up until the appointed time of 12:00 he would keep going as he was, listening to music and trying not to think about what was about to happen and the information he'd just been given.

And maybe, just maybe, he would catch a bit of sleep.

Somewhere in paradox space, Karkat was staring at a screen, gripping the table so hard it might leave indents where his fingers were. In reality the pantheons were pretty useless. The trolls as they were all lived together on a planet that had been allocated to them by the endless possibilities of the game, albeit hidden from the view of mankind. It existed in their solar system but on a different plane of reality at the same time. They had all guessed that this was the new universe's way of keeping them separate from their subjects without denying them access. It was working out well so far.

The only things the pantheons served to do were to conveniently allocate the trolls equally among four representatives. The trolls didn't mind that this was the way things worked - the humans assumed each of the prophets had some kind of psychic connection to the gods but that was only partially true.

There was a reason that generations of the same families were all destined to be the Four. The reason being that regardless of some innate psychic ability, the Four alone had access to the knowledge and technology required to contact the trolls on their plane of existence. It was more of a job you were taught to do and less of a job you were born to do.

However, that said, this didn't mean that sometimes the Four did have a psychic connection to the trolls. There had never been a time where all of the Four possessed this ability - until now.

Rose had been connected to the remnants of the game session since she was young. The whispers fed to her in her dreams were not, in fact, what the humans referred to as the Zodiac, but were the gods of the furthest ring. A fact that greatly unsettled certain members of her given pantheon. As much as the Four were allocated to serve the trolls, they felt as if they were custodians of the prophet bound to them.

Jade had directly communicated with some of them as she was the first to completely awaken and did so long before her coming of age day. John would find his connection today, and Dave…

Karkat didn't know what to think about Dave's connection.

From all the signs they'd been given it should be that he could talk directly to Dave without even the need for any communication devices. All of the Prophets of this generation possessed the ability to become close enough to at least one of the trolls to enable telepathic communication, but Dave's self-imposed skepticism and denial prevented him from opening his mind to them.

The connection was said to be stronger between trolls and humans of different dream planets, but since Dave refused to awaken in any sense Karkat was cut off entirely. It angered him beyond much else.

Here was the first human, to his knowledge, to have existed who could communicate with him on this intimate subconscious level and he denied him that experience. How selfish. A somewhat delicate hand landed on his shoulder, Aradia was talking to him and he'd ignored her in his rage.

An unspoken question passed between them and she smiled.

"I wouldn't worry about Dave," she began, looking at the screen over his shoulder. "I cannot contact him either."

He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Trust her to know he was so anxious about this. It was clear that the human was literally made to be his emissary or whatever but there was part of him that was terrified of the idea of Dave connecting with someone else instead of him, and among the 'lowblood' pantheon Araida was the most likely candidate for that.

Seriously why the humans felt the need to use that to separate them out he would never understand. Maybe they deserved being abandoned.

Still, once the rite began Dave would have no choice but to wake the fuck up and smell the thorny earth petal organisms. Yes, he knew they were called roses but where was the fun in that? He just kind of wanted to learn something about the human first, see what was so special about him. But he wouldn't even let him see his face properly.

Rising from his chair slowly Karkat sighed exasperatedly and made his way to his own block as opposed to the one he was currently sharing with the others in preparation for the inauguration. He was never really into these things and he preferred to be alone when the connection was made. It meant the disappointment when things didn't work for him wasn't out in the open for everyone to see.

Lying down on the cushioned recliner he closed his eyes and allowed himself to teeter on the edge of consciousness. Apparently they were more susceptible to the joining this way. He very nearly fell asleep entirely until…

Uh, hey, Karkat? Is it cool to call you that or am I supposed to use a title or something? I have no idea if you can hear me but I'm beginning to lose my shit here.

He sat bolt upright and felt his chest throbbing painfully as his pulse shot up to a million beats a minute. Hearing that so clearly in his head was terrifying, especially for a troll who had never experienced any kind of psychic ability.

"Dave?"