He was so... colorless.

In years behind him Magnus got to know that people on their dying bed weren't, in fact, "pale" - that was just something poetic to describe the condition of being drained of colors. But Magnus's eyes saw better than this, his magical mind knew better than this... his soul ached beyond this.

Alec wasn't merely pale - pale would be a great color on him right now, his natural color of shimmering white skin that blushed so easily... But Alec was colorless. Not just colors - life itself was leaving him and there was so little Magnus could do...

Yet he did! Magnus spent a night by Alec's bed, channeling every ounce of his enormous but so insufficient magical power into young man's body. Somewhere along the way Jace offered his strength to help Alec, but seeing how Jace's life was so directly connected to Alec's that warlock didn't want to risk weakening Alec even more by draining his parabatai. Then Clary stepped in and somehow her angelic power was enough to break through for all of them. Alec survived... barely.

Jace was impatient pacing by Alec's bed, waiting for his brother to wake up. He kept badgering Magnus about spells he'd used, potions he'd fed to Alec, all the "when's" and "how's". And Magnus was so done with all of it!

"Jace, I'm telling you for the umpteenth time - leave me alone! But this time I'm warning you - LEAVE ME ALONE! I have very little care for your teenager's antics - especially when I'm concentrating on saving Alec's life! Something YOU should have done as his parabatai!"

The moment these words left Magnus's mouth he'd regretted them. Jace's face flashed an expressing of absolute agony, anger and fear and then went blank hiding his emotions under impenetrable Shadowhunters mask. Jace wasn't in fault for what has happened with Alec, Magnus knew that much. The attack was too massive, there were too many Forsaken to fight them all off... but why was Alec supposed to get hurt so badly?! Of all of them, damn Shadowhunters - beaten, bruised, bloodied - Alec was the one dying here! And that felt like the cruelest of jokes life has ever played...

To sooth his harsh words Magnus offered this to Jace, Izzy and Clary who eyed him impatiently and hopefully:

"I hope..." - he corrected himself, - "I believe that Alexander is doing better now. Things I did to him," - Magnus shivered and gulped audibly, - "would've been too painful for somebody conscious so I had to bring Alexander very deep under… so now we have to wait for him to come back to us. So… we wait."

"You wait", - Magnus corrected himself mentally. He alone knew that he kept pouring his energy into Alec's weakened body – but that was something these kids needed to be oblivious about. They thought that Alec was beyond risk – and Magnus didn't want to deal with their worries on top of everything else. Alexander was thee priority, little Shadowhuners – not.

Magnus sighted and dropped himself on a chair by the bed, girls mirrored his actions and only Jace resumed his pacing. Everybody looked warned and in dire need of rest but nobody moved an inch when Hodge came by the room insisting they'd go clean up a bit. Yes, they knew there was nothing more they could do to help Alec – but no, they were not going anywhere anyways. Hodge shrugged it off and went by his business bringing the Institute back to order after recent horrific attack.

…

Much, much later Alec started trashing in his bed and they had to restrain him fearing he would fall from the bed. On the one hand, it was a good sign that Alec was coming back to the land of living… on the other hand, with movements his voice came back too. And screams of sheer pain and undiluted agony were too much to bare for all the people in the room.

Maryse, who came in earlier, kept accusing Magnus of not being able to ease her son's pain since he "obviously didn't care enough". Seeing how Magnus's cat eyes flickered dangerously and he leaned out of the chair in a half-prancing pose, Robert took it as a sign to get his unexpectedly hysterical wife out the room. Magnus steadied himself by running over Alec's body what's left of his magic – not trying to ease the pain but to heal it. Alec could take the pain; he was a strong man. But the thing causing him pain – that was up to Magnus to fix. Later iratze would help too, but for now only the warlock energy could do it. And so Magnus kept digging inside himself, finding the hidden energy that he never even knew existed within him.

…

When screams resided to muffled moans and sights, the monotonous rhythm of the room got the best of Clary and she fell asleep in the corner chair, Izzy fallowed shortly after into the land of dreamless deep night. Jace was as awake as ever. Magnus wandered off-mindedly if this was because of his parabatai's connection and Jace couldn't rest while Alec was in peril or was it simply because Jace's Endurance rune still held him upright.

Whatever it was, eventually their waiting was awarded – Alec's words became more coherent and sounded like he was about to wake up for real… but the words Alec had woken up with were:

"Jace… Jace… Where is he?"

Magnus heart broke down and crumbled at his feet. Alec's first thought was of Jace… not his sister, or his little brother, or parents. But Jace. And Magnus just knew that it wasn't because of their connection as warrior brothers – it was for those unrequited feelings Alec had for Jace his entire adult life. Or though he had.

If completely honest to himself, Magnus had to admit that over the past couple of month he came to hope that what Alec had for Jace was merely a crush, infatuation born by closeness inflicted by their parabatai connection (also, one should count in that Jace was really easy on the eyes).

But now… they tell that near death experience gives a clearer perspective as to what's important in one's life. Obviously, Jace was the most important person in Alec's life and no amount of affection of a magnificent warlock would sway Alec away towards Magnus.

Jace was quick on his feet and by Alec's side in no time, grabbing his hand and squeezing it reassuringly, making Alec squirm with pain from this firm handshake. Ace loosened up his grip and placed his other hand atop Alec's broad chest feeling how his heartbeat grew stronger. Magnus stepped back envying Jace for being able to do that, to offer Alec his care and support so easily, for being so needed by Alec himself.

Jace spoke to Alec softly, lovingly:

"Man, you've scared the Angel's breath out me! Don't ever do it again, deal?"

Alec didn't seem to hear – or maybe he wasn't quite as awake as they thought but he kept repeating:

"Where is he? Is he safe? Is he alright?"

Jace raised his voice:

"Alec, brother, I'm here! I'm fine!"

Maybe it was the screaming or light shaking Jace had applied to Alec to jolt him out of his daze – but suddenly Alec's eyes focused on Jace and his expression gained coherency.

"Jace…"

"I'm here, Alec. I'm fine too."

"Jace… Where is he? Is he alright?"

Magnus could see how hard it was for Alec to speak but obviously it was too important for him so he braved through the pain:

"Jace, is he safe?"

Jace got confused for a second but then he answered:

"Max is fine, Alec, he's with your parents. Izzy is ok too, just very tired. She's sleeping over there, with Clary. Wait till she will wake – your sister would give you major headache for your heroics that almost got you killed! What were you thinking, man?!"

Alec closed his eyes and shook his head – Jace's banter was too useless for concentrate on. He moaned stiffly trying to hide his pain and spoke through gritted teeth again:

"Jace, where is Magnus? Is HE safe?"

It took Magnus two long seconds to realize what Alexander was asking for, WHOM Alexander was asking for! Him! This whole time Alexander was asking about HIM, if HE was safe, if HE was alright!

"Alexander," - he called quietly while stepping closer from the other side of the bed, - "I'm here. I'm fine too, thank you for asking. But I was never in danger, I wasn't even here when attack has happen."

Alec looked at Magnus as if for the first time, not even blinking. The warlock was sure that he didn't look his best after twenty hours of magical exhaustion but he tried not to care about it right now. Especially seeing how Alexander's eyes shown with adoration towards him, Magnus.

"I know you weren't here… at first… but then… I remember you were fighting off demons on my behalf… and then you'd vanished… and I could only hear your voice… but I couldn't see you. You got me worried."

"Look who's talking! You've got the entire Clave worried!"

Jace's comment was overly cheerful and Magnus could feel how this irritating blonde was trying to conceal his confusion mixed with fear… Jace's eyes screamed silent questions to Magnus – "what demons?", "is Alec losing his mind?", "what have you done to him, Downwolder?!"

Magnus shook his head slightly letting Jace know that it's alright, Alec was alright.

"No, Alexander, it was just a dream. Weird things happen to those who are being under warlock magical powers, you should ask Luke about it sometimes. But I promise you – everything will be fine now. You're good."

Jace tried to whisper to Magnus but he was still pretty audible for Alec to hear:

"Is he honestly alright? You promise? Can I do anything to help him heal faster?"

Magnus looked over Jace with pity, finally admitting to himself that he was impressed with this boy's conviction to stay by Alexander's side through it all. But Jace was too tired, anyone could see it.

"It's ok, Wayland, I promise. You should go rest, reapply your iratzes as you too need some more healing. When you're better you can come back and help."

Jace's jaw tightened and he was about to object but Alec agreed:

"Yes, Jace, go rest. Take Izzy and Clary to their rooms too."

And then Alec had turned his head towards Magnus and asked quietly, vulnerability breaking his voice:

"Will you… stay?"

And Magnus didn't know what mesmerized him the most… the look of hope in Alexander's eyes… or that he ASKED for HIM to stay out loud… or the way he opened his palm silently asking for Magnus's hand to hold his.

Magnus let their fingers entwine and lay on the bed beside Alexander's body. A chair magically appeared behind Magnus and he set down.

"I'll stay, Alexander. And you should rest, you're too tired to even be speaking."

Young man was about to contradict something but Magnus brought his index finger to Alec's lips to silence him:

"Shh, Alexander, I know. But I'm right this time – you should rest. Don't worry, I'll still be here when you wake up. I'll always stay."