I made this story for fun since school has stripped all FF related activites. I decided to upload a story for this catagory to try to ease back into ! Enjoy!
NOTICE: Nastasia and Dimentio are Black ( or light-skinned as everyone calls it) because I just think they look better that way X3
Count Bleck is drinking wine with his wife Tippi in the meeting room. Romantic music is playing in the background and the candles on the table are slowly melting from the tiny flames on the wick.
"You look lovely tonight."
Tippi giggles, "Oh Blumiere you're making me blush."
"The both are you are making me sick. It's not even nighttime it's like ten in the morning!"
The couple looks to their right to see Dimentio giving them a look of disgust.
"What are you doing here? Didn't Nastasia tell everyone to stay away from this room?" Count Bleck asks.
"Yes she did. I just blatantly ignored her. Nastasia, O'Chunks, and Mimi are playing on the Wii and Mr. L isn't here yet. I have free time on my hands."
"Can you spend your free time doing something else?" Tippi says with a flair on annoyance. "We're spending time together. So can you leave?"
"Are your last days upon you? The last time I checked butterflies only live for thirty days."
Count Bleck begins to giggle. Tippi gives him a death stare. "What's wrong? He has a point! You've been alive for years! You might drop dead any day now!"
"BLUMIERE!" Tippi screams.
"Wait a second!" Count Bleck glares at Dimentio, "Only I can make fun of my wife! NASTASIA GET YOURSELF IN HERE!"
Nastasia appears at the candlelight brunch. She bows her head in front of the Count and Tippi. She glares at Dimentio, who flashes her a smile. "Yes Count Bleck?" She says.
"Can you remove Dimentio from our lunch session? He's being inappropriate."
"Well if that's why you're kicking him out then you'd have to get your backside out of here too!" Tippi yells.
"The butterfly has a point. I highly doubt that Beastiality is legal."
"Cut it out Dimentio, let's go and leave them be. I was in the middle of beating Mimi and O'Chunks at Mario Kart."
"Fine, but I think they continued to play without you. We did that to Mr. L a few days ago." Dimentio and Nastasia leave the room together. Tippi and Count Bleck watch them until they leave the room. Tippi sighs and Count Bleck groans.
"This is all Count Bleck's fault. I should have made reservations for the Grand Toad Cafe. Only if they had good entertainment."
"It's not that Blumiere. You like to make fun of me and make jokes about my current state. It's not like I WANTED this to happen to me! You make cruel remarks sometimes. Why can't you show your love like a NORMAL man?"
"Being weird is normal being normal is weird Lovebug." Tippi twitches at the nickname.
She slams her… wings on the table. "I'm leaving. I'm going to check on Mimi. She might need help with her wardrobe.
"You should try to keep that mouth of yours in check you know? I'm surprised the Count didn't chop off your hands."
"He wanted to look good in front of the butterfly. After all, she may start to breakdown soon. Remember that time you and me went on a mission at Fort Francis and saw those butterfly p—"
Nastasia's face turns into a look of horror. "We promised to never tell anyone 'K? I don't want them to think I am a zoophiliac."
"HI GUYS!"
Dimentio and Nastasia cringe at Mr. L's greeting. He has a stupid smile on his face and he is holding a book in his hands. "Guess what I just got from the Mushroom Kingdom's library?"
"A book on robotics?" guesses Nastasia.
"A self-help book?" Mr. L growls at the smirk on Dimentio's face.
"No and no!" He yells. "I HAVE A BOOK ON DIY EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIMENTS!"
They stare at him in silence. Dimentio gives him a confused look. "Are we supposed to care?"
"It has some cool things like homemade ibuprofen that makes you invincible, stars that can blow up and make mini nebulas, there's even an infinite joke book experiment!"
Dimentio rolls his eyes, "We don't need an infinite joke book."
"Why not?"
"Your life is the biggest joke I've seen yet."
Dimentio begins to laugh and Nastasia tries to hold her's in. She elbows him in the stomach, which makes him stop. Mr. L feels a void growing in his chest. Maybe he should've renewed that self-help book or bought it…
Nastasia takes a deep breath. "Anyway, Dimentio let's talk about your behavior in private. Mr. L go do what you have to do."
Mr. L waves them off in silence. He quickly runs down the hallway, flipping through his DIY book. Is there something in here that can kill dimensional jesters? He thinks to himself. He stops in his tracks when he sees an experiment that catches his eye:
A Kindness Potion :D
This DIY will make the most evil person in the world be kind to you! This potion can be mistaken as pink lemonade, certain champagnes, watermelon juice, and more! It all depends on your ingredients and we have three different ways you can make it!
Mr. L feels an unnatural grin make it's way onto his face. He begins to laugh involuntarily. I think Dimentio has been rubbing off on me. Therefore he'll be my first victim. Mr. L begins to feel better on the inside. It's as if he'd used the bathroom after a long, stressful mission.
"'Ey Mr. L! How're yeh doin'?" It is O'Chunks.
"Hey O'Chunks!" Mr. L greets. "I'm in a great mood today! How's your day going?"
"Purty good. What tiz dat in your 'ands?"
"Oh it's a book on Robotics." He lies. He's going to need O'Chunks to find the perfect place with all the materials. "Do you know where Count Bleck's private office is? I have to leave something on his desk for some new modifications to Brobot. He needs improvement on some things so I don't embarrass our organization."
"Dat sounds brilliant! I'd be happy to!" He says cheerfully. "Follo' meh."
Mr. L follows O'Chunks two halls left, one right, one straight, three down, three right, and three up. But the time they make it to the office, Mr. L felt his pants slipping. O'Chunks begins to laugh at him and his panting.
"I... think I... just... lost... ten pounds..." He says.
"Well we can't telepurt soh weh 'ave to take the long 'ay." O'Chunks says with a smile.
"Well thanks for your services O'Chunks. You're as tough as the mountains by the Beanbean Kingdom!"
O'Chunks backs up with a scared look on his face. Mr. L blinks at him in confusion. "Why are you backing up?"
"Are yeah ok? Yeh starting to remind of Dimentio." He says.
Mr. L rolls his eyes. "Anyway you can leave me here. I can find my way back. Thanks for everything!"
O'Chunks nods his head and begins to retrace his steps. Mr. L waited until he wasn't able to see him or hear his footsteps. He puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it slowly. When the door is fully open, Mr. L feels the wall for a light switch. When he finds it, he's flicks it on.
The room is empty. He closes the door and locks it. His plan worked!
Since the Count is a man trying to increase his knowledge on magic and bring Tippi back into some anime hottie, he has been getting exotic ingredients. From Toad spots to dragon heads to human bones and more! But there's one thing vital to Mr. L that is his most important ingredient yet.
The Pure Hearts. They were shining on eight pedestals. He only need one, which was pretty risky because Count Bleck is very protective over them. Count Bleck would probably kill him, rip out his heart and put it on one of the pedestals to make up for it! Mr. L cringes at the image then shakes his head.
It's time to get some work done.
"Alright Tippi tell me which one's better: the glittery sleepy sheep wool scarf or this color changing cashmere scarf?"
Mimi looks around the room for her fashion critic. She spots Tippi grumbling to herself in the corner of her room. Mimi puts her scarves on her bed and walks over to Tippi slowly. She could only make out a few things like "doesn't understand", "lost hope", and "getting a life on track." Tippi's grumbling so much that she doesn't notice that Mimi's right in front of her.
"Hey Tippi!"
"GOOD H—" Tippi flies into the wall. Mimi begins to giggle out loud. Tippi regains her posture and hisses at her. "What's WRONG with you?!"
"What's wrong with me?" Mimi repeats. "Is this coming from the Pixl who was grumbling to herself when we just started figuring out my wardrobe? Winter is getting worse by the year y'know!"
"I'm... sorry Mimi." Tippi apologizes. "I kinda got upset at Blumiere earlier today. He just doesn't understand my situation."
Mimi sighs. "I'm sorry to hear that Tippi, but to tell you the truth... I really don't care right now. Once we're done with my clothes then we can have a girl-to-girl talk."
"...Fine." To be honest, Tippi was shocked that those words came out of Mimi's mouth. Sure, she can be selfish sometimes but she didn't expected those words out of her mouth! Mimi claps her hands together, snapping Tippi out of her thoughts.
"To make this experience even better, we'll need a male's point of view... Count Bleck's out because you two are having a lil' bit of tension. Dimentio may try to make my clothes kill me again after I threw out his mask."
Tippi stares at her. "...Wait... WHAT?!"
"Yeah... Count Bleck never told you? Oh and by the way, stockings being forced down your throat is pretty painful."
"There's always Mr. L."
"Nah, I don't even know if he's in the castle today. I don't want to disturb him." Mimi says.
"'EY MIMI YAH HER'?"
"You can come in O'Chunks, the door's unlocked." Mimi says.
The door bursts off its hinges. Mimi and Tippi stare at the warrior. Tippi is astonished while Mimi is pouting with an angry expression. O'Chunks's face turns red with embarrassment. "Sorry Mimi, I kin fix et for yeh 'ater."
"It doesn't matter," A smile forms of Mimi's face. "You'll need to do me a favor since you destroyed my door. This is great! You came at the right time! You are going to be a male judge for my winter wardrobe! You and Tippi are going to help me look as beautiful as a princess!"
O'Chunks looks at Tippi in shock. Tippi is giggling silently to herself. He quietly puts the door back in the doorway.
"This is the greatest book ever!"
Mr. L has been in the Count's room for more than thirty minutes. So far he's been following the third recipe's instructions for the kindness formula.
4 Heart Candies
1 Picture of someone giving someone else a hug
5 bags of sugar
10 things that you like
5 things that an average girl would like
5 things an extraordinary boy would like
1 box of chocolate
1 bouquet of roses
1 gallon of milk
Surprisingly, Mr. L has done everything the recipe says, but not in order. He took care of everything except for the 10 things he likes, 5 things a girl likes, and 5 things some Out-of-this-World boy would like. The 'average' girl was once a girl with straight hair, loves pink, small dogs and things like that. In these days it's usually girls who smoke, have implants, fantasising about ten million boyfriends or trick some boy into paying child support. Mr. L highly doubts they want all of THAT in a kindness formula/potion/spell.
Mr. L looks around the room. He sees some dragon heads, a goomba who'd probably died from suffocation, and a few dirty magazines. He looks down at his cauldron which is a dark shade of pink. He grabs the dragon heads, the dead goomba, and the dirty magazines. He throws all of them in there.
"I hope that counts." His eyes land on the Count's desk with a French dictionary and a book on how to understand girls. He dumps those in there as well. "Both girls and boys like those stuff and I, especially like those kinds of magazines."
Mr. L keeps on looking around the room and back at the book. He sighs and closes the book. He might as well put in any random thing into the cauldron. He grabs whatever is in the nearby vicinity from weapons to bricks to bones. He even grabs some books from the Count's comedy section of his library.
"Alright, so here are some knives, axes, swords, broken bones, and things like that."
All of them get swallowed by the pink liquid. Mr.L looks at the few books he took off of the bookshelf. The books are so dusty, he can't even see the titles! All he knows is that the group of authors that made the books are known as 'The Firing Squad'. He throws them in there for the fun of it.
You may be asking, "Why the heck are you putting all of those in there Mr. L? What kind of friends do you want?". Mr. L has the perfect reason, it's because he wants his friends to protect him and do some role-playing as well. Plus, he always wanted to see someone do fruit art. It's a great explanation if you ask him anyway.
Mr. L turns to look at the Pure Hearts. "Finally! The time has come."
He breaks the glass covering the eighth Pure Heart. He picks it up from its pedestal and throws it in the cauldron. The eighth Pure Heart had to do the trick, since it came from a Nimbi... not the NICEST Nimbi but she was the daughter of Grambi, the King of the Overthere. Plus her name IS Luvbi. That has to count for something!
He takes a pencil from the Count's desk and begins to stir the now light pink liquid. He can just imagine how much better his life would be...
"Hey Dimentio! Go throw yourself off that cliff over there. I'm bored out of my mind."
"But Mister Sir Count Master Prince Dictator Lord Ruler Supreme King Pharaoh Leader President Ambassador L, what if I don't survive to entertain you again? After all I'm barbaric, edgeless, tasteless, tacky, ersatz, roguish, tacky, heinous, atrocious, narcissistic, yucky, ominous, uncivil..."
"SHUT UP AND DIE!"
"Gladly Mister Sir..."
SPLAT!
Mr. L stirs quicker with newfound joy. Who knew being this devious would be so much fun?
Mimi is laughing with giant spotlights on her face. She is wearing brown knee-high laced snow boots, black jeggings, and a panda-covered coat with a matching hat. O'Chunks is taking pictures of her at different angles while Tippi's adjusting the lights. Mimi and O'Chunks seem to be enjoying themselves while Tippi is sweating her wings off.
"Can... we take... a break?" Tippi asks wearily. "You should be... shocked... that I... can do all of this!"
"Fine." Mimi sighs.
O'Chunks pats her on the black lightly, "Ah don' pout. Yah did great! Yah looked great out der! I'm proud of yah!"
Mimi looks at O'Chunks with a small smile. "Awww! Thank you O'Chunks! You're such a sweetie."
"Nah. Nat as sweet as deh picturs of yeh." O'Chunks passes her the camera. Mimi squeals and begins to look through the pictures. Her eyes got wider and wider with every picture. She begins to smile and squeal with joy. Tippi grunts and rolls her eyes.
"Tippi you have to see these pictures! O'Chunks is a pro at taking pics! Did they teach you how to do this in war or something?" Mimi gives O'Chunks a giant hug. Tippi feels her heart drop. She remembers her discussion with Blumiere earlier. Maybe she was a bit rough.
Someone knocks once on Mimi's door, causing it to fall immediately. It's none other than Count Bleck. Mimi and O'Chunks run up to greet him while Tippi stays in the same place. Count Bleck looks at her and sighs.
"Count Bleck is sorry for his obliviousness." He says. "We will walk to our room and talk along the way."
Tippi is touched by his offer. She flies over to him and lands on his hat. "That sounds great."
"Hey! Where Nastasia?" Mimi asks.
"The last time Count Bleck saw her, she was cooking with Dimentio in the kitchen."
"She iz tryin' teh geht dat darn jesteh teh cook?"
"O'Chunks stop being a meanie. Cooking can help release feelings! You never know! Maybe he'll make a big bunch of brownies! He's a great cook and baker!"
Dimentio can't believe how much harder it is too bake without magic. His outfit is getting dirtied by sugar and brownie batter. Nastasia is behind him watching him stir the batter. She is writing something on her clipboard.
"Shall I put this onto the baking pan now?" He asks.
Nastasia looks at him. "Yes and remembered what we talked about. Treat other the way you want to be treated."
"But what if I take pleasure in someone trying to kill me? What if I like to survive and act like it never happened? I wouldn't mind that. Also, what are you writing on that clipboard of yours?"
Nastasia blinks. She was actually shocked to hear that, especially from him. Who in the world is going to enjoy being murdered? Has he seen the Investigation Discovery channel? From Goombas poisoning each other to Koopas throwing their family into a woodchipper... In what way would he exactly want to die? What is he a masochist?
"Uh... Dimentio? I have a questions for you."
"Ask away." He says while pouring the batter into the sheet pan.
Nastasia watches as the rest of the batter falls into the pan. "Has anyone told you that they... care about you?"
Dimentio slams the bowl onto the table. It begins to crack in a butterfly pattern. He turns around and meets her gaze. "Does it really matter?"
"Well... yes. It's nice to know when someone cares about you. Not everyone from the Caribbean says that they 'love' someone. They show it through their actions… depending on the family."
"This fanfic isn't a drama so please, just put the brownie batter in the oven."
Nastasia picks up the batter-filled sheet pan and walks over to the oven. She quickly turns around and looks at him. "Do you want a hug?"
"No thank you. Sexual harassment this early in the day is pretty scary."
Nastasia hisses. "I'm going to need you to—"
Mr. L runs into the kitchen and crashes into the refrigerator. He stays still for a few seconds for his vision clear up, then he smiles. "Hey guys! What's going on here?"
"We're making lunch." Nastasia answers. "So far we've made hamburgers, hot dogs, salad, and some fries."
"Wow," Mr. L looks at Dimentio. "Did you actually help out? You look like you've just tried to fix a clogged toilet and it exploded on you."
Dimentio ignores Nastasia's snickers in the background. "Oh Mr. L your insults are as bad as Donald Trump trying to become president."
"Who's Donald Trump?" Mr. L asks.
"You may not know but THEY know."
Mr. L blinks. "Uh... anyway, how about I help you guys out! Can make some strawberry lemonade? Trust me you guys will die."
"Alright so let Count Bleck try it and then I may consider." Dimentio says plainly.
Mr. L rolls his eyes. "I'll go get a pitcher."
He walks toward a cabinet over the sink and beings to look for a pitcher. Dimentio gives Nastasia a soul-stealing glare. "I'm going to my room to change."
"K, enjoy yourself. I have to go to my room to take care of some business anyway." She replies.
"Do you want to walk to our rooms together?"
Nastasia doesn't answer right away. She's shocked that he would ask that. Is he actually trying to follow the whole 'Treat others the way you want to be treated'?"
"Um... sure?"
"Then let's go." Dimentio looks over at Mr. L, who's filling a pitcher with water. "Mr. L please watch over the brownies. Nastasia and I might take a while. They should be in there for a good 45 minutes."
"Ok! I'll have the lemonade done by then anyway."
Dimentio and Nastasia leave the kitchen together in silence. Nastasia tries to break the ice. She doesn't want him to harass the Count again. What could she talk about? "So... uh... do you like pandas?"
"Ah ha ha!I love pandas!"
Nastasia smiles.
"Of course I love them when all their organs are removed and the eyes are gouged out. They stuff them with the softest Sleepy Sheep wool and give them adorable plastic brown eyes!"
The smile on Nastasia's face is instantly wiped away. She forces herself to talk. "Your insanity is above the treatment level."
"Thank you for the complement!" He replies. "You're starting to make me feel all weird inside."
"Is that heart of yours starting to melt?"
"No, don't get your hopes high, I skipped breakfast this morning."
"Are you a happy person when you're around other people?"
"No."
"Do you like food?"
"No."
"Do you like people?"
"No."
"Why do you keep on saying 'no'?"
"Because you sound like a four year old trying to have a conversation. Please stick to being an assistant."
Dimentio stops in front of a black door. "Here's your room."
Nastasia looks up at his purple and yellow eyes. "You need some love in your life."
"I'll wait until I'm married." He begins to walk away. "If you're going to take a nap, make sure you set up an alarm. I'm not going to wake you up."
"You're room is two doors down from mine. What's the excuse?"
"I'm going to be in the shower for a little bit and finish a book. Alone time is the best time."
Then he went into his room.
I like how Dimentio told Mr. L in his fantasy that he is still better than hm. If you look in the text you'll see what I mean!
Have a good day/night!
TheComingofEpic