A/N: Some of you have expressed a distaste for the first portion of the first part of the story because it basically a retelling of the game. Some of you have stuck with it enough to know that things change, as the story progresses. I want to assure any new readers that the beginning is intended to mirror the game as much as possible to allude to the idea that 'things never change'. However, I promise you, things do indeed change! So, if you can stick with it I hope you find you enjoy the story I have to tell about Commander Shepard.

(Although this seems obvious, a lot of people seem to make a disclaimer so: I don't own any of the original content, those belong to BioWare. I'm just writing my version of their story.)

Prologue: Not Again. Oh Gods No, Please. Not Again.

My name is Commander Shepard. I've been called by many first names; I can't even remember them all but that part always stays the same: Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy, Council Spectre. I don't know how I got here, not really, even though I've lived through it countless times. Maybe Cerberus did something more to me when they brought me back from the dead the first time without even realizing it themselves. Hell, maybe Cerberus never did bring me back from the dead and this has all been some sort of fever dream in the last few moments of consciousness as my body floats off into space; the last feeble attempts of a fallible human mind trying desperately to hold onto life… any life. Maybe I am indoctrinated and this is just the Reapers' way of beating me into submission.

I never look the same, although I am always human. My voice stays the same… well except for the times I am man. That is always interesting… I don't know where I am as I tell you this; I suppose I am wherever I go in the times in between. It's so familiar yet somehow all so foreign. Nothing is as it seems. I had hoped… I had hoped so desperately that the last time was going to be the end that I wouldn't wake up again. I'm so tired. So, very, very tired…

Lean, well defined muscles bulged in tension as Dawn tossed in her bed. Her sleep is rarely peaceful, too many memories to haunt her dreams at night. Too much loss; too much blood on her hands. The blanket had been kicked off, abandoned to the floor sometime in the night and a pillow laid half way to joining the blanket, barely still balanced on the edge of the bed. The sheet had wrapped itself around her body like a serpent preparing to constrict. The cuff on her wrist suddenly sprung to life, the glow a harsh and demanding orange, it emitted a high pitched beep. Not again. Oh gods no, please. Not again…

Dawn bolted upright in the bed, her palms splayed out behind her supporting her weight. Her violet eyes frantically darted about, seeking familiarity as the last vestiges of a nightmare faded from her mind. Mindoir… always the same dream when I'm from Mindoir, so much death… Everything gone, everyone gone. Taking a deep breath and pushing her sweaty hair back out of her face, Dawn slid her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, OK. I hear you. I'm awake," she said to her omni-tool as she ran her fingers over the orange display, silencing the alarm.

The cuff stopped glowing. Dawn cradled her face in her hands for a moment before running both hands through her unassuming, black, bob cut hair. Standing, she hit the glowing green button near the window before making some adjustments to it with her omni-tool. The opaque glass began to clear, letting in the faintest hints of streetlights and neon signs coming from the surrounding buildings. It was still dark outside, so she tapped the omni-tool again, stopping the window from clearing completely and instead leaving it only translucent. Stripping off her sweat soaked tank top she laid it on a counter before doing the same with her panties. In the bathroom she turned on a light, flinching from the sudden glare she adjusted the setting to dim.

"Damn hotels, always the same. Think they need to have all the light settings turned up as far as they can go. Who wants to deal with that first thing in the morning?" Dawn said.

Leaning forward over the sink she looked at herself closely in the mirror. She studied her face, finding it looked just the same as it did the night before. Silently she questioned herself as to why she would expect it might be different, wondering if she might be going insane. She is completely oblivious to the voice in her head that responds. Because it IS different! It is always fucking different! You can't hear me though, that never changes. Pushing herself away from the counter, she turned to the shower and adjusted the temperature so that the room quickly filled with steam. As hot as you can stand it, and then just a little hotter. That doesn't change either. Dawn stepped into the shower, the heat turning her pale skin an angry shade of red instantly. She hissed softly and then groaned as the tension in her neck and back began to ease.

"Excuse me? Can you tell me where the SSV Normandy SR-1 is docked?" Dawn, now dressed in her armor and armed to the teeth asked the Air Traffic Control Specialist behind the counter.

The severe looking woman eyed her for a moment before waving her omni-tool in front of Dawn, scanning her. The omni-tool flashed and the ATC Specialist reviewed the information the orange screen supplied.

"Commander Shepard, yes, one moment please. Captain Anderson has left orders for someone to escort you to the ship," the ATC specialist said as she typed something into her computer.

Nodding her head, Dawn stepped away from the desk and waited with her arms crossed in front of her. A disgruntled sigh escaped her lips, "Yep, that's it. Commander Shepard. Shore leave is over. Goodbye Dawn, hello Commander Shepard."

A few minutes later a skycar settled down in front of her. The doors lifted up and out, opening to reveal an eager looking young man with olive skin and close cropped black hair. He rushed out of the skycar and around to Commander Shepard. His body rigid, his hand at his brow in salute and she was already bored. The markings on his uniform told her that he was a Petty Officer, Third Class and very low on her list of people she should give a shit about. Shepard nodded her head at the man, acknowledging his salute before climbing in to the vehicle. The man's mouth snapped closed, he was just about to formally introduce himself but evidently the Commander did not have time for such formalities. Rushing back to the driver's side, the man climbed in and pushed a few buttons on the console. The doors closed themselves and the vehicle lifted into the air.

Waving off the Petty Officer's attempts to help her with her gear, Shepard stopped a moment to take in the sight of the SSV Normandy SR-1. A beautiful, sleek frigate; the Normandy was one of a kind designed by the cooperative effort of turian and human engineers. Of course, this made a lot of humans uneasy. Hell, it probably made a lot of turians uneasy. Even though the First Contact War was technically over thirty years ago, both species remained wary of one another. But not me, never me, not really. Not once I meet Garrus… Oh Garrus, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Shepard didn't really care one way or another about alien-human politics, the way she saw it, assholes came in all shapes and sizes. Still, she knew enough about how easily things can go south if the wrong thing is said at the wrong time to make her just a little more careful when dealing with aliens. Okay, so maybe she still had some deeply held prejudice against batarians, but to be fair the four-eyed sons-of-bitches had killed – or worse, enslaved everyone she knew and loved on Mindoir when she was a child. If that Alliance patrol hadn't showed up when they had, Shepard likely wouldn't have made it out of that colony alive. That's a hard thing to forgive and forget, but still, she was able to reign in her rage when her work called for her to interact with the hated species. Still, she was no diplomat and thank whatever gods for that.

She made her way to the dock and crossed over to the ship's door, shrugging her shoulders and rolling her head around to loosen her muscles further while the ship's decontamination activated. For some reason, today she found the computerized voice announcing "decontamination in progress" to be especially annoying. Maybe it was the hangover. Perhaps it was just knowing that she was back on the clock and hadn't been given any real intel on what it was she was being called in to do. She hated that. Always hated that. Finally, the door slid open allowing Shepard to enter.

Making her way into the ship, she stopped to salute when approached by Captain David Anderson. She was always fond of Anderson, the older man being one of the rare few people in the Alliance that she felt she had actually allowed herself to get to know on a personal level. She studied his face as they both held the salute far longer than actually necessary, a show of the profound respect they had for one another. His russet skin was beginning to crease around his eyes, and she was seeing a lightening to his deep brown hair. Anderson was the first to break, a grin spreading across his mouth as he dropped his hand and chuckled.

"Get over here, Shepard. It's good to see you. How have you been?"

Shepard returned the grin and welcomed the man's brief embrace when he pulled her in, patting him on the back.

"I've been good, Anderson. You?" she asked.

"Good. Good. Welcome aboard, I'll show you around and get you briefed. Make the introductions," he glanced back over his shoulder towards the cockpit, "Joker! Commander Shepard's on board, get us out of here!"

"Aye, aye, Captain," a man's voice said over the intercom system, presumably 'Joker'.

Putting a hand on Shepard's arm, Anderson gestured to the walkway that led to the CIC. Men and women were lined on either side, seated at terminals facing away from her. She allowed Anderson to lead her, as they approached the CIC a few of the people stationed around the oblong ring looked up from their various consoles to salute as they passed. Shepard didn't pay them much mind, nodding absently as she went. Hovering above their heads was the bluish-white holographic spread of the Milky Way on the galaxy map, accessible only to the Captain of the ship from the raised command platform. The walkway split as it circled around the ringed table, ending at a door with SR-1 written on either side. A partition stood behind the galaxy map with the ship's name. Anderson led her to a middle aged man, mostly balding with just a horseshoe of gray hair cropped close around his head. She always found it interesting when a man's facial hair kept its color long after the hair on his head faded.

"Navigator Pressly," Anderson said indicating the man and pausing long enough for salutes before moving Shepard along.

He introduced her just as briefly to Dr. Chakwas and Corporal Jenkins as they passed the partition. Shepard couldn't help but to smile, apparently he hadn't forgotten her distaste for small talk with strangers. There would be time to get to know everyone later. Behind the partition was the door that led to the comm room. The other two doors both lead stairs that wrapped around to meet up in front of the elevator on the deck below. This deck held the captain's cabin, the mess hall, med bay, sleeper pods, and the main battery. The elevator, so she soon learned on their brisk tour, lead down to engineering and storage, it also served as the garage for the M35 Mako.

Shepard's muscles began to tense when she spotted the turian Anderson called Nihlus Kryik for the third time. It seemed like he was following her around. Nihlus, you son of a bitch. This is all your fault, it all started with you. You put my name forward as a Spectre candidate. I never would have been anywhere near that damn prothean beacon if it weren't for you. Still… how much worse would things be if it were someone else' name? She watched him warily out of the corner of her eye as she followed Anderson, Nihlus didn't try to hide the fact that he was watching her. Maybe he was just interested in her history, in Akuze; everyone else seems to be.

Her eyes followed the turian with the sepia and white face paint, committing the pattern to memory. She didn't know a lot about turians, but still probably more about them than any of the other alien races. She knew enough to know that the markings were representative of his family's original colony. Turians still painted their metal fused faces with their colony crest even though the Unification War had effectively ended social and political segregation of the turians. She could use it, along with his name to learn more about him later.

"We should be nearing the Mass Relay, why don't you go introduce yourself to Joker and Alenko. I think Spectre Kryik is in there, too. You'll want to see us hit the relay, don't care how many times you've seen it before; it's a wonder that never gets old. I'll head to the debriefing room and when you're done you can meet me there for the briefing," Anderson said once they had reached the command deck again.

"Spectre? Why have we got a Spectre aboard, I thought this was a shakedown?" Shepard asked with a raised brow.

"I'll explain it all in the briefing, Shepard," Anderson said.

Just then Joker's voice came over the intercom, "The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence."

Shepard nodded at Anderson, leaving him by the debriefing room door as she made her way towards the cockpit.

"We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination," continued Joker's voice as Shepard moved around Navigator Pressly and towards the walkway.

"The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector," pausing between statements Joker continued, "All stations secure for transit. The board is green. Approach run has begun."

Shepard stepped around a man with his back to her, putting a hand out towards him in apology as she maneuvered past him. The turian stood just between the pilot and copilot, his arms crossed over the chest of his red and black armor, looking out at the relay. Nihlus… Shepard paused just behind him to watch as the ship barreled towards the enormous structure with its intimidatingly giant mass effect core and spinning rings. Just before it seemed certain that they would crash into the relay, Joker maneuvered the ship around so that it was moving parallel.

"Hitting the relay in three… two…," a stream of mass energy shot out of the relay and caught a hold of the ship whipping it forward into space just as Joker said, "one."

Shepard watched Nihlus as he commented on Joker's flight skills and walked away to find Captain Anderson. As soon as he was gone, Joker and Alenko began discussing Nihlus – primarily Joker's distaste for the Spectre. Joker! It's always good to see you! I'd die for you man, ha! Just wait, the punchline for that one will come later. And Kaidan… Lieutenant Alenko… I wonder which of you I'll let die this time. I hope it's that xenophobic bitch, Williams, and not you. Although, gods I hope I don't have to suffer being in a relationship with you again. I've got to tell you, Kaidan, you are far too soft around the edges for me. I've never before met such an emotional man. I don't know how I ever did it… twice. At least the second time I gave up on it after you went all superior asshole on me. The first time, though? Nope, I had to forgive and forget, got right back with you, didn't I? Joker was right though, something else was going on here. It didn't make any sense for a Spectre to be aboard for a simple shakedown run even if the council did help fund the ship's creation and she said as much to the two men before Anderson broke through on the intercom requesting Shepard in the debriefing room.

Shepard entered the debriefing room and immediately tensed, Anderson wasn't there but Nihlus was. He should have already been there. Cautiously, Shepard approached Nihlus. The Spectre turned when he heard her footsteps; she wasn't sure why but this turian really made her uncomfortable. Because it's all his goddamn fault! You know shit is about to go south, you can feel it. You always feel it, and you know it starts here and now with this conversation. Yeah, yeah, OK, Nihlus isn't a bad guy, I know but son-of-a-bitch if he isn't about to open the floodgates and leave you to clean up the mess!

"Commander Shepard. I was hoping you'd get here first. It will give us a chance to talk," Nihlus said as he crossed his arms.

"The Captain said he'd meet me here," she said, narrowing her eyes.

Nihlus nodded once and then began to pace, "He's on his way. I'm interested in this world we're going to; Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful."

"They say it's a paradise," Shepard responded simply, unwilling to give more than Nihlus did in the 'talk' they were having.

"Yes… a paradise. Serene. Tranquil. Safe. Eden Prime has become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it?" The Spectre came to a stop in front of Shepard once more, "Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, really?"

"Do you know something?" Shepard asked stepping towards the turian.

"Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?" Nihlus asked.

Anderson finally entered, "I think it's about time we told the commander what's really going on."

"This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run," Nihlus spoke while closing the distance between Shepard and Anderson.

"I figured there was something you weren't telling us," she said looking at Anderson.

"We're making a covert pick up on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth systems operational," Anderson confided.

"There must be a reason you didn't tell me about this, sir?" Shepard prodded.

"This comes down from the top, Commander. Information strictly on a need to know basis. A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an evacuation. It was prothean."

"What else can you tell me?" Shepard asked.

"This is big, Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study," Anderson stressed.

"Obviously this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space," Nihlus spoke up.

"It never hurts to have a few extra hands on board," Shepard said nodding to Nihlus, doing her best to play nice.

"The beacon's not the only reason I'm here, Shepard," Nihlus began.

"Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander. He's here to evaluate you," said Anderson.

"Guess that explains why I bump into him every time I turn around," Shepard quipped.

"The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres represent the Council's power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come," Anderson said putting a fist down into his open palm, showing how passionate he was about the topic.

"Not many could have survived what you went through on Akuze. You showed a remarkable will to live – a particularly useful talent. That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres," the turian said.

"Why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?" Shepard asked, unease crept in as Nihlus spoke.

"Not all turians resent humanity. Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer to the rest of the galaxy… and to the Spectres. We are an elite group. It's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human, Shepard. I only care that you can do the job," Nihlus asserted.

"I assume this is good for the Alliance?" Shepard asked looking back to Anderson.

"Earth needs this, Shepard. We're counting on you," Anderson responded.

"I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together," Nihlus said, watching Shepard closely for her reaction.

No, Nihlus, it won't be.

"You'll be in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission," Anderson explained.

After a few more questions, digging for every scrap of information she could gather about the protheans, the beacon, and Eden Prime – which wasn't much information at all to speak of – Shepard was ready to go. Before they could leave the room, Joker's voice came through over the intercom telling Captain Anderson that there was a troubling transmission from Eden Prime. Anderson had Joker bring the video up for the three of them to watch. It showed a female human solider wearing white armor with pink accents yelling at whoever had the camera to get down. They were obviously in the middle of a battle; Shepard just couldn't see what it was they were fighting. The images were too shaky; the camera appeared to be implanted in the visor of a soldier who was looking around the battle scene frantically. Shepard watched as his team mates died, calling for evac. She caught only glimpses of enemy movement but not enough to discern the nature of the attackers until the camera looked up towards the sky. The biggest ship Shepard had ever laid eyes on was descending on the area, she had never seen a design like it before, it appeared to have jointed legs like an insect spreading wide to capture prey. The video stopped in static. Sovereign.

Anderson asked Joker to pause the video on the scene with the terrifyingly large ship before quickly giving orders to have Alenko and Jenkins suit up; the team would go in after Nihlus. They all gathered to receive final orders as Nihlus checked the thermal clip on his gun and jumped off the ship to scout ahead. Shepard bit back the obvious flaw in him going it alone, after all he was supposed to be there watching her. She was more than comfortable with the idea of working separate for now. Securing the beacon was top priority, helping any survivors found would take second.