There were a few beats of silence, in which Jason and Dick stared at Bruce, Bruce stared at Jason and Dick, and Damian chewed on Jason's shirt.

"What's wrong with you two?!" Bruce demanded, his expression thunderous. "Jason, if you're going to leave me messages claiming you have an emergency, then answer your phone when I call you back!"

"You didn't answer your phone," Jason shot back.

"I was in a meeting. And after that I tried calling back, and neither of you would answer!"

…Okay yeah, he hadn't checked his phone in a while. But it wasn't not like he didn't have a very good reason for it. And it was Bruce's fault anyway — if he hadn't had a child with psycho Talia-chick, then Jason could have answered his phone. Hell, if Damian didn't exist, he wouldn't have even needed to answer his phone in the first place.

Of course he was trying that new 'actually-liking-the-demon-brat' thing, so that meant no more complaining about Damian's existence.

God, this was going to be harder than he'd thought.

"We were busy," Dick said.

Bruce snorted. "Busy? With what?"

Then he noticed the baby in Jason's lap (Jason supposed the fact that he and Dick were sitting in close proximity and not trying to kill each other was probably very confusing as well) and stared.

There was a moment of silence. Then another one. Finally Bruce managed a confused, "Who's — ?"

"Yours," Dick said quickly.

"And some woman named Talia," Jason added.

Bruce's face went white.

…

"So," Jason said, watching as Dick juggled Damian on his hip, "even if he isn't yours, are we going to keep him?"

Bruce didn't reply.

"Bruce? Seriously, having a little brother isn't as bad as I thought. And besides, he looks just like you — has your scowl and everything. He's definitely yours. Right Dick?"

Dick let out a little coo and poked Damian's nose.

Jason turned back to Bruce. "See? Even Dick agrees."

Bruce sighed, shaking his head. "I don't — I don't know why you didn't call me."

"We did, Bruce," Dick shot back. "You just weren't answering your phone. And we had our hands full with this one."

"He was really annoying," Jason piped in, because he didn't think Bruce appreciated just how demonic his spawn was. Sure, Damian was kind of adorable (something he hadn't wanted to admit before), but that didn't change the fact that they had a long road ahead of them.

Bruce was doing a DNA test. Of course he was, it was Bruce. He also seemed very eager to avoid any mention of Talia-chick, so Jason would just have to quiz Dick on her later. Or Alfred whenever he got back, if Dick decided to go back to being Dickhead.

(Oh yeah, they still had to tell Alfred, didn't they?).

They were waiting to find out the results. Jason wasn't too worried. He had a feeling that Damian wouldn't be going anywhere. No, he was more worried about Bruce, who was probably going to break both of his hands if he didn't stop squeezing them so much.

He should probably offer up some advice. After all, he was the baby expert now.

"Damian's actually not such a bad kid once you get past all the crying, and biting, and destruction of property."

Bruce blinked. "What?"

"Ignore him," Dick said. "He only — well okay, he did kind of ruin my phone."

Damian gurgled proudly.

"Aww, Little D."

"Little D?" Bruce asked, sounding a bit numb.

"Dick's stupid nickname for him," Jason said. "Can you believe that about an hour ago, he couldn't stand the kid? And now he looks ready to steal him from right under your nose."

"Shut up, Jason," Dick retorted. "I'm just — trying to be a good brother."

Jason snorted. Yeah, Dick still had a lot of work to do before he could be considered a 'good brother.' Although he wasn't nearly as bad as Jason had thought…not that he'd ever say that out loud. Dick's head was big enough already.

"Anyway," Jason said, "the kid might have brain damage, so he could have a completely different personality now for all we know."

Damian did look suspiciously cheerful. And he hadn't tried to murder anyone, or glare anyone to death in a while.

"What?" And now Bruce looked alarmed.

"Don't listen to him," Dick interjected. "Leslie said he was fine."

"Leslie was here?"

"She thought he was Dick's," Jason said gleefully. "She knows he's yours now though."

"Might be mine," Bruce corrected, looking apprehensive. He stared at Damian, and Jason thought he could see genuine fear on his face. Dick seemed to see it too, because he gave Bruce a small, comforting smile.

"It's okay, you know? If Damian is yours…then Jason and I will be here to help out."

Except Jason would be the one stuck with the kid 24/7, while Dick would be living it up in his bachelor pad, dropping by for quick visits whenever he felt like it. Jason would probably be stuck changing diapers and being used as a human chew toy.

Ugh, maybe Dick would be willing to take in a roommate.

…Yeah, never mind, they definitely weren't there yet.

"Do you want to hold him?" Dick asked.

Bruce's eyes widened and he started to shake his head. "No, that's okay — "

"Seriously, it's not that bad," Jason said. "We've been holding him all day and he only shat himself once."

Bruce stared.

"Here." Without waiting for a response, Dick dumped Damian on Bruce's lap.

Bruce's froze.

"Make sure you hold him!" Jason called out, because Damian looked ready to slide right off. Jason didn't think Leslie would be too impressed if she had to make another home visit.

Bruce's arms moved almost mechanically, his hands positioned awkwardly at Damian's sides. Damian shuffled slightly on his lap and scowled. The resemblance was uncanny.

Jason really needed a photo of this.

Damian nuzzled his head against Bruce's chest, the scowl still present. If Jason didn't know that the kid was capable of smiling, he would have thought it was just his default expression. Bruce swallowed, staring down at him with wide eyes.

Dick watched them, grinning widely, and it took Jason a moment to realise that he was smiling too.

Well. It was pretty cute. Especially now that Bruce didn't look like he was being held against his will.

He was pretty sure Damian was Bruce's. It wasn't just the physical resemblance — as much as a baby could resemble someone. It just felt right. And, okay, maybe he wanted it to be true. The kid wasn't nearly as bad as he'd thought, and…it'd be kind of nice to be a big brother. He'd make a better brother than Dickhead, that was for sure.

Jason glanced at Dick from the corner of his eye, and saw that he was still grinning from ear to ear. Okay, maybe he would have to put in a bit of extra work for that 'best big brother' title.

And maybe…maybe having a big brother wouldn't be so bad either (and that was still a big maybe).

And in the slight chance that Damian wasn't Bruce's…well. Bruce did have a habit of taking in strays. Convincing him to take in one more wouldn't be that hard.

…

It turned out Damian was Bruce's (surprise, surprise).

Jason knew that scowl was hereditary.

Bruce didn't seem that disappointed by the results. Jason was pretty sure Damian had just worked his baby magic on Bruce by that point, if the easy, relaxed hold Bruce had on his son was anything to go by.

So it looked like he had a new baby brother. And as long as he didn't need to deal with the dirty diapers, or late nights, or any of the hard stuff…then he was pretty okay with it.

(Someone really needed to tell Alfred though).

…

AN:

AND IT'S DONE!

Yes, I'm finally getting around to updating my stories…and I got this done :) Can't believe I started this back in 2015…I will eventually be writing more for this series, but I'm not exactly sure when. There are some other fics I need to update first, and some other stuff I've been wanting to write…but I will eventually write more :) And I definitely need to write Alfred's reaction to Damian :)

Hopefully you enjoyed this, and thank you so much for sticking with this story!