Author's Note: Hello and welcome to my new one-shot collection for Star Fox. Do you enjoy the humor of The Hunting Party but hate it when real life and serious crap kicks you in the nuts? Look no farther than Star Fox: Misadventures — an episodic series of humorous SF episodes minus all of the darker themes of THP. I'll be writing this story as a counter balance to the decidedly darker Hunting Party and another serious story I will begin in the far future, just so not everything I write is totally depressing. And if you think the humor in THP is going to last forever... Hahahaha

Anyway, enjoy this first update; it'll be the only thing I write in this collection for a while. This first episode is specifically written for Sheppard Studios, to give him a little fun after going through some nasty operations earlier today—er, yesterday. It's 5:00 AM right now, I stayed up into the early morning hours doing this crap, churning out this entire update in five hours during my normal sleep cycle, so y'all better like it. I hope you feel better Shep: enjoy.

...Guys, what am I doing? Why did I publish this? It's early in the morning, I need sleep, okay...

Star Fox: Misadventures

Episode 1: Under the Knife (Pilot)

"He's gonna be okay, right, doc?" Falco worriedly asked the physician.

The 'doc', a lanky red-eyed tree frog, snapped on a pair of white, rubber gloves, complete with all of the usual dramatic flare. "Oh, I don't know," the amphibian answered as he lowered an oxygen mask over the vulpine reclining between them. "Mr. McCloud is in a pretty terrible condition; we managed to set all of his bones, but the shrapnel and other debris is another matter completely. Whatever he was doing, it was highly dangerous." He fixed Falco with his unsettling red eyes, making his disapproval for their line of work known.

The azure falcon scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Er, yeah... was pretty dangerous at that." He and the rest of the team had avoided going into too much detail about Fox's "circumstances", considering they had been on a confidential job.

At the moment, Falco, Miyu, and Slippy were standing in the brightly light hospital room, not too far from Fox's side; the vulpine was stretched out on an uncomfortable-looking cot, only dressed in a thin hospital gown—though the sheer amount of bandages and casts that encased his body seemed to make up for it. Fox's face was wrapped like a mummy's; completely wrapped in white bandages except for two small slits for his eyes. His right arm and left leg were both encased in full casts, while underneath the green gown, his chest and stomach were covered in bandages.

"How're you feeling, Fox?" Miyu asked, grasping the side of Fox's gurney.

All eyes turned to a small box placed beneath Fox's left hand, consisting of a small keypad and a simple LED display. Slippy had whipped up the device so that they could communicate with Fox even with his mouth sealed beneath bandages.

Slippy haltingly read the words aloud as Fox typed them out. "What... does it... look... like? Do I... seem... f..." Slippy's voice died out as he skipped over the profanity. "All right... too you?"

Miyu's shoulders slumped, and she frowned sympathetically. "Hah hah... I guess not."

"But he'll still make it, right?" Falco repeated.

"Of course... as long as we successfully remove the shrapnel. As soon as the anesthesia kicks in, I will set to work. First, there are some instruments I still need to locate. I must ask you all to leave now; I'm afraid you can't be present for the operation."

Falco grabbed the doctor's arm. "All right but, that's my boy you've got there, okay? Make sure he comes out okay."

After the avian grabbed his arm, the tree frog jumped back, raising his gloved hands defensively. "Watch it! Sterile, sterile!"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"When will you be done?" Slippy asked the doctor. "If he's gonna be hopped up on anesthesia, I want to be there. I've gotta film it and upload it to EweTube."

Miyu elbowed Slippy in the side. "Not the time, Slip! Fox is terribly hurt here!"

"Well, we'll be seeing you, doc," Falco said, reluctantly making his way to the hospital door. "Take care, Fox," he offered.

Miyu and Slippy also wished Fox a successful surgery before they exited the hospital room with the doctor, thus leaving Fox by himself. Without anyone to talk to, he was left to stare blankly around the four white-washed walls and various medical equipment lying around the room. A black monitor with a green line oscillating across it was clipped to the side of his gurney, beeping quietly with each of his heart beats. He tried to slow his breathing by taking deeper breaths of whatever the face mask was pumping into his nostrils—oxygen, anesthesia, laughing gas, or any other form of chemical.

To tell the truth, he was nervous. In fact, he was the most scared he had ever been in his life. It wasn't like the rush of adrenaline he felt flying a mission or during a dogfight; at least those activities were enjoyable and under his control, even if they always carried the danger of him dying. He had always been the one in the cockpit, the one behind the controls deciding his fate. Now, however, it was all in the hands—the sticky webbed hands—of some surgeon he had never met before in his life. It was out of his control.

At that moment, a nurse walked in and with extreme caution closed the door behind her. If his face hadn't been immobilized by layers of bandages, Fox would have raised an eyebrow at the nurse's suspicious actions.

The nurse turned around, revealing herself to be a young, white-furred poodle. Fox immediately forgot the woman's suspicious actions as the more... "outstanding" features became apparent. The young canine wasn't dressed like any other nurse Fox had seen in the hospital; she wore a tight white nurse's blouse that seemed to be too small even for a girl of her lacking stature. Her skirt was also too short to pass for a nurse's skirt, or even be allowed in public for that matter. And, to top her ridiculously revealing uniform off, she wore a vibrant red bow above her floppy right ear.

Beep... beep... BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP

As the heart-rate monitor seemed to sprint off on the hundred yard dash, the poodle crossed her arms over a clipboard she carried and held it in front of her skirt. "Look, Mr. McCloud," she began in a shy voice, "I know this is a really unorthodox way of doing things, but..."

The girl suddenly leapt forward and bent over Fox's immobilized body. "Can I join your team? Please!?"

Fox jerked back from the girl, taken aback by her sudden forwardness. However, he was unable to verbally express any of his thoughts, so the poodle continued, unhindered.

"Forgive me, maybe I should introduce myself..." The poodle straightened back up, brushing out her uniform. "You see, I'm Fay Sp— ...well, let's just keep it at Fay for now, shall we? And can I just call you Fox?"

When Fox didn't answer, she continued. "Great! So, you've always been like, my hero, you know what I mean? I mean you and your team of course, but like, you especially. I thought it was so cool how you followed in your dad's footsteps and everything like that, and how you started your own team up when you were like, seventeen!"

Fay was talking at a pace near the speed of light, completely gushing like a school girl as she went on. "And I know you're probably like, "Whaaaat? What is this little girl dressed up like a nurse doing next to me before an operation? I mean, hello-oh, right? This is crazy!" But I can explain the nurse getup and all that; I just needed a disguise, and it was the closest thing I could find on such short notice! Hey, by the way, do you like it?"

The poodle did a quick pirouette for Fox, once again displaying her extremely appealing outfit.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP

"Anyway, I've always wanted to be part of a mercenary unit, especially one like yours!" Fay continued in a bubbly voice. "So when I read on the news somewhere that you were injured and that you were taken to a hospital nearby, I just had to take the chance! And I know my dad is against me becoming a mercenary and all, but he's never supported anything I do! He barely even let me go to college! And I know I still haven't applied to any, but my parents have enough money to send me to any ivy-league school in the system, just like—" She snapped her fingers. "That! So it's still pretty certain that I can get the money out of them if I wanted to..."

Fox rolled his eyes, frustrated that he was powerless to stop the energetic girl from yapping away at him. When would the doctor get back and discover the intruder?

Suddenly, Fay stopped herself and propped one of her floppy ears up. "Oh, sorry," she whimpered apologetically, "I went down another rabbit trail, didn't I? I tend to do that a lot. My friends make fun of me for how perpetually caffeinated I am. They always say I'd forget to put on my head if it wasn't always strapped on tight! Or was that my bra..." Fay absently began patting the front of her uniform, eyes widening in horror and face blushing beneath her fur. "Oh my god! I did not just...!"

BEEP-BEEP-BE—

"Uuugh! All right, I'll try to get to the point, but Lord knows I'll just stray off again. So, you'll let me on your team, right? I admit, I haven't had any practical experience, and I may have never worked a job before in my life... well, unless you consider modeling, but that was just for fun. But for the past few years I've been practicing flying one of my family's private jets when they're off planet for a party or business trip or something; I'm really good at it, too!" Her voice suddenly sank into a shy whimper, "Only been pulled over once or twice... alright four times, but I also play a lot of space and combat video games! I learned a lot from those, too!"

Taking all that he could from the exuberant canine, Fox tapped two keys on the communicator box and furiously shook it to get Fay's attention. Finally noticing the device, Fay bent over Fox to better read it. "Oh, so you caaaan communicate! I thought you were either deaf or just dumb after that accident! Looks like you can't talk right now except for..."No"!? I can't join!? Oh come on! Please Fox? Pleeeease!? I promise I won't get in your way or anything! I swear I'm not like, deadweight! I'll be really helpful!"

At that moment, the operating room door swung open, revealing a previously unseen surgeon. Taking his gaze off of Fay to look at the doctor, Fox's eyes suddenly bulged. Standing in the doorway was none other than Leon Powalski. The emerald green chameleon was dressed in an avocado-green surgeon's smock—though thankfully it wasn't as tight or revealing as Fay's—and held a pair of large, razor-sharp scissors in his claws. The disguise was apparently enough to fool the rest of the hospital's staff, but for Fox there was no mistaking the devious reptile.

"Nurse, the doctor is real in," Leon sneered. "We are ready for the—" he snipped the scissors with a flourish, "Operation."

"Oh!" Fay exclaimed, blinking. "Oh, okay. I guess I'll just have to convince you while they're working on you."

Something was definitely wrong, and Fox knew it. The girl called Fay turning up was one thing—she was just an over-obsessed fan—but when one of Star Fox's arch nemeses showed up with a pair of sharp objects, foul play was obviously afoot. Fox's mind raced to put the pieces together. Leon replacing his surgeon could only mean one thing; Star Wolf had heard of his accident and where he would undergo treatment, then decided to take the opportunity to off the leader of their rivals. They were disguising as doctors to kill him, under the guise of operating to safe his life; it was ingenious—ingeniously evil.

"Mhhhm!" Fox desperately mumbled through the bandages. "Mhhhmmmmm!"

"Don't worry, Fox!" Fay cheerfully said as she patted his broken arm, causing arcs of electric pain to shoot through his limb, "I'm sure I can make you change your mind! You just have to give me a chance."

And with that, the oblivious poodle rolled a powerless Fox into the operating room. When the cot slid past Leon, who was holding the door open, the chameleon grinned evilly, for once coordinating his eyes and fixing them both on Fox.

"Side effects of Purocene may include; abdominal pain, abnormal heart pace, abnormal tongue coating, alkaline phosphatase increase, alopecia, amaurosis, amnesia, anemia, angina pectoris, anorexia, anxiety, asthenia..."

"And they're only on the A's!" Miyu exclaimed, gesturing at the television commercial playing in front of them. "What does it take for them to realize whatever they're selling will most likely kill me than anything else!?"

The trio of mercenaries were currently seated in the waiting room, biding their time until Fox's operation was over. The current ads did nothing to abate their fear for Fox.

Falco slammed his fists down on his knees. "This sucks!" He sprang to his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets and marching away. "I'll be right back, I just need something to keep me awake right now... and I know just the thing."

The avian set out for the vending machine near the receptionist's window. Taking out a credit pack from his wallet, he held it against a magnetic strip on the dispenser's side. Keying in the energy drink that he wanted, he licked his beak in anticipation and waited for the tell-tale rustle as the can hit the bottom of the machine. When the noise sounded, he stooped over and picked up the drink. It was a tall, gold and red-tiled can of his favorite energy drink: Blue Steer.

Popping the top of the can open, he closed his eyes, tipped his head back, and began chugging the bubbly liquid. With the energy drink still pouring down his throat, he opened his eyes and glanced around the room. To his surprise, they ended up landing on a tall lupine dressed in a white doctor's uniform.

Choking on the soda, his throat muscles contorted, and he bent over, nearly spraying the liquid back out. To keep from letting the wolf know he had been spotted, he turned his back on the lupine, continuing to cough loudly and beat his chest. When he was confident the wolf wasn't looking, Falco cautiously turned around and studied him closer. He had been right the first time; it was Wolf O'Donell after all.

The lupine mercenary didn't spare Falco a second glance as he retreat out of sight behind the receptionist's desk. Finally regaining his composure, Falco straightened back up. Reluctantly, he glanced at his soda can with longing eyes. Then, he crushed it and tossed it into a nearby trash can before sprinting off into the hospital.

Fox was in danger; that much he knew. Whatever Wolf's plans or intentions were, they couldn't be good; but he had to stop the other mercenary at any cost.

"I'm afraid we'll have to amputate," Leon said with mock pity. He slipped Fox's right arm—the one encased in a cast—off the gurney and onto a large silver plate beside him. Binding the arm to the plate with several strips of black Velcro, the chameleon positioned an unbelievably large saw on top of the cast.

"And my parents are practically drowning in money!" Fay continued. "If you let me join, I'm sure they could support your team for years to—" Her ear twitched. "Did you say, amputate?"

For the most part ignoring the inquisitive poodle, Leon bent over to plug the device into a wall outlet. "Oh yes; all of his limbs, in fact. From there, we'll see what else we can amputate. We might have to get creative."

"Oh... okay," Fay said, only half interested in the chameleon's answer. "As I was saying, I could support you financially if you let me join. It would mean so much to me, you know? It's like, my whole life I've dreamed of this; and now it might really happen!"

Leon revved up the saw once, to test its rotation speed. This seemed to unnerve Fay, who suspiciously eyed the tool. "Don't you think he needs more anesthesia, doctor?"

"I'm sure he's had an ample supply," Leon reassured her. "He won't feel a thing; will you, McCloud?" He chopped his hand down on Fox's broken arm, causing him to groan in pain.

Fay reluctantly shrugged. "Well... you are the doctor, I guess."

Leon grinned, tampering with the settings on the limb saw. "I'm about as much of a doctor as you are a nurse, my dear."

Heart pounding in his chest and stomach doing icy flip flops, Fox furiously typed away on his communicator. If he didn't get Fay's attention and warn her of the threat, he would lose his limbs... and worse. At the moment, he had a wonderful rivalry going on with Wolf, and he wasn't prepared to let it die. If Leon had his way, Fox would end up sliced and packaged in the local supermarket's fresh meat section. He could just picture Wolf laughing as he was cut up, relishing in every moment of Fox's pain. No, he couldn't end this way; he had to go down in flames, a spectacular explosion; sacrificing himself for the good of his team and the entire System.

To escape, he had to get Fay's attention, but so far he had no luck. If only he had his wrist comm, he could call Falco or Miyu to his rescue, but that was out of the question as well. And, to make matters worse, he was slowly succumbing to the numbing chemicals, and would soon be asleep. At least he wouldn't feel it when Leon cut him up...

Fox renewed his efforts on the communicator, which, to his surprise, garnered Fay's attention.

Pointing to his fiercely moving hand, the poodle said, "Hey, his arm's still moving."

"Is it now," Leon said, looking at Fox's hand. Noticing the desperate messages the vulpine was typing out on the communicator, he clicked his lips. "Well, looks like Mr. Arm could use some more lidocaine." The chameleon plunged a syringe into Fox's wrist, causing it to contort and flinch, letting go of the box.

"Now, before your anesthesia kicks in, Wolf said he wanted you to feel a little of this. It isn't fun unless you're awake, right, McCloud?"

Not wasting anymore time, the chameleon activated the saw, and the spinning blade buzzed to life. Angling it downwards, he began cutting through Fox's cast, aiming for the flesh and bone beneath. As Fay continued talking to him, Fox flailed around and moaned, urgently trying to get her attention and stay awake.

But before the saw reached Fox's skin, the operating room's twin doors burst open, revealing Falco panting in the doorway.

"Fox!" Falco exclaimed, quickly sizing up the situation. Instantly processing Leon and his trusty limb saw, the avian dove across the room and tackled the lizard to the floor. The saw was sent flying up into the air until it landed blade down between Fox's legs, narrowly missing his... vitals. The vulpine watched in horror as the blade effortlessly cut through the metal gurney, remaining precariously upright between his legs.

As Falco grappled with the chameleon on the floor, he managed to shout out, "What are you doing!? This doctor's a quack! Don't just stand there, girl; untie Fox!"

"Oh my!" Fay exclaimed, clapping a paw over her mouth before she set to work removing Fox's precautionary bindings.

Once she had freed the vulpine, Falco bellowed, "Run, Fox! Run!"

Needing no further encouragement, Fox pivoted on the medical cot and slipped off onto his feet. Because one of his legs was broken and enveloped in a cast, he had to limp awkwardly away, but that didn't stop him from bolting from the operating room.

As Leon slowly won the upper hand, pinning Falco to the floor and beginning to choke him, the avian managed to cough out, "H-help me, nurse!"

"A-all right!" Fay exclaimed. "I was... I was born ready for this!"

As the doors swung shut behind Fox, Fay tackled Leon herself and managed to pry him off of Falco's neck, though the fight was far from over.

Fox hobbled out of his room and looked up and down the hall. Spotting an exit sign at the end of the hallway, he set off limping in its direction, but his ears twitched when he heard a familiar voice shout from behind him.

"Stop right there, pup!"

Fox quickly glanced over his shoulder, but froze in terror when he noticed both Wolf and Panther at the other end of the hall. The two mercenaries wasted no time in bolting down the hallway after Fox, who finally recovered from his initial shock and began limping towards the exit.

Rounding a corner still with a large head-start on his two enemies, Fox came upon the hotel's elevators. It was difficult to think through the mind-numbing effects of the anesthesia, but that didn't stop him from formulating a plan. After a nurse exited one of two elevators, Fox hobbled inside and tried to press the floor number for the lobby, but his first attempt failed; his numbed hand flopped limply at the end of his arm, so he had to punch the number with his elbow. Next, he quickly stepped back out. He limped around the corner and held his breath, hoping Wolf would take the bait.

Echoing footsteps grew louder and louder as they approached Fox, but they slowed to a stop in front of the elevator.

"Damn, he made it into the elevator!" Wolf cursed, kicking the steel doors in a blind rage.

"Quick, we'll take the other one!" Panther said as he pressed the down button on the remaining elevator.

Wolf held out his hand, stopping the feline. "Wait, what floor is he getting off at?"

The two mercenaries paused until the elevator car stopped.

"Ground floor."

"Let's go!"

Wolf and Panther stepped into next elevator, but to their chagrin they were followed by a team of doctors and nurses, who piled in after them. Acting as quickly as his bandages would allow, Fox swatted a canister marked "laughing gas" off its wheeled table and onto the floor. Next, he brought his boot cast-down on top of the nozzle, smashing it off and releasing the gases it contained. With one last kick, he sent the canister sailing into the elevator, a mere second before the doors closed and the car began its descent.

That oughtta hold them, Fox told himself. Turning around, he began hobbling down the next hallway in search of any communication device he could get his hands on. How he would end up working it in his condition, he didn't know; but he would sure give it a try.

Back in the operating room, the brawl was still going on. While the avian and reptile's limbs were locked in a tense struggle for dominance, the chameleon had another trick up his sleeve. Spitting his long, slimy tongue out, he wrapped it around the falcon's neck, tightly constricting it until he once again began choking his opponent.

"Ugh, geez!" Falco exclaimed, recoiling at the wet sensation of Leon's tongue around his neck. "Nurse, give me something! Anything!"

Fay anxiously glanced around the room for any sort of weapon, but declined from handing Falco the bone saw. Finally, she settled on a syringe similar to the one Leon had used earlier to numb Fox's arm. After she handed the needle to Falco, the avian plunged it into Leon's tongue, causing the lizard to scream in agony and loosen his grasp on his opponent.

As Leon's tongue fell loosely from his neck, Falco wrinkled his nose and grabbed the slimy flesh, swinging it around the leg of Fox's gurney and tying it in a crude not. Struggling to his feet, he brought his boot down on Leon's tongue, prompting the reptile to freeze in his place on the floor; it was clear who had the upper hand now.

With Leon immobilized, Falco activated his wrist comm and brought it to his mouth, panting heavily.

"...melanoma, melenia, menorrhagia, migraines, mood swings, mouth ulcers, myocardial infarcation..."

"Hang on, Slip; Falco's calling."

"Where the heck is he?" Slippy complained. "You think he's trapped in the bathroom because he overflowed the—"

Accepting Falco's call on her comm, Miyu vigorously waved her hand and shushed Slippy. "Falco? What's the news?"

"Star Wolf; they're here!"

Placing her hand over her other ear, Miyu exclaimed, "What!?"

"I spotted Wolf in the lobby, so I knew something was wrong. Look, I just saved Fox from Leon, who nearly chopped him up into cold cuts. I don't know where Fox is, but the important thing is finding Wolf—and Panther if he's with him. Can you do that?"

Leaping up from her seat, Miyu said, "Of course! We're right on it!"

Switching off her wrist comm, she grabbed Slippy's wrist and dragged him across the lobby towards the elevators. "Come on, Slip; we've got to track down Wolf and Panther before they find Fox! Of all the times they chose to attack us, why now!?"

Jerking his arm out of Miyu's grasp, Slippy said, "Well, you kind of have to give them credit. A team is weakest without its leader, and that's what they're taking advantage of."

"But it's such a dirty tactic! Just what you'd expect from those no-good..."

The lynx and amphibian stopped in front of the elevator, waiting for the car to arrive at their floor. Huffing, she crossed her arms and angrily tapped her foot. "Man, if I get my hands on Wolf and that idiotic, flirtatious—"

At that moment, the elevator sounded a pleasant ding, and the silver doors smoothly swung open, revealing their contents. Miyu stopped mid-sentence as she saw the complete mess that filled the elevator car.

All in one big pile lay Wolf, Panther, and an assortment of doctors and nurses. Mercenary and medical staff member alike were guffawing outrageously, which was especially uncharacteristic of the usually stoic physicians. But above all, Wolf's Texan laugh drowned out the others.

"I can't take it!" the lupine managed to squeeze out through the laughter as he grabbed his shaking sides. "The nerve of that pup! Imagine sending us down the elevator on a wild goose-chase, and getting us all high on laughing gas in the process! And I don't even know who this dude is!" Wolf slapped a robin doctor's back, causing the bird to burst out in a riot of laughter again.

Miyu was not amused. "Don't try to joke your way out of this one, Wolf," she spat. "Trying to put Fox down while he was already injured is unacceptable. We're handing you over to the police!"

"I know!" Panther guffawed, "Isn't it awful? I'm in so much pain! I am dying! I am literally dying inside!"

Slippy narrowed his eyes at the pile of medical staff and mercenaries. "But if Wolf and Don Juan are here... where's Fox?"

Arriving at another set of elevators, Fox hit the up button and waited for the car to descend to his level. Once inside, he jammed his elbow into the highest button on the panel, sending the elevator on a long path to the roof. As the doors closed, he fell back against the car's wall, and would have slid to the floor if it hadn't been for his leg cast. Instead, he leaned against the wall, panting for breath.

When the elevator jerked upwards, Fox felt the anesthesia return in a strong wave, giving his stomach nausea and making his world spin. It wouldn't be long 'til the narcotics completely kicked in and brought him under, and then it would be all over for him. If Falco and the rest of his team failed to subdue Star Wolf, he was done for. Oh, what would his dad say?

At that moment, the elevator slowed to a stop to let on another passenger. Fox held his breath as the doors swung open, but the doors didn't reveal Wolf or Leon. Instead, a large, roasted turkey appeared in the doorway and boarded the elevator. Its head was missing, instead replaced with a gaping hole overflowing with stuffing. Regardless, it seemed to look at the floor Fox had selected, then was content when it saw the elevator was headed for the roof.

When the doors swung shut again, and the elevator continued on its long path, Fox pressed himself against the elevator wall, sliding across the corner until he was as far away from the strange apparition as he could get.

Keep it cool, Fox McCloud, he thought to himself. It's just a turkey. Juuust a turkey. Act natural, like it's normal to run into cooked poultry on an elevator, and everything will be fine.

Releasing his breath, Fox tried to relax. He even considered making conversation with the walking meal, but thought better off it. What would he even talk with a turkey about?

But the elevator slowed to a stop again, this time letting on two new passengers; a rabbit wearing a panda pajama onesie, and a panda bear in turn wearing a rabbit suit. The elevator doors slid shut, and the car lifted off once again. Fox glanced back and forth between the two newcomers, trying to understand how they had coordinated their species and pajamas so well, but the mental processing only served to addle and confuse his brain even further.

Finally, after a minute of silence, the turkey cleared his throat. "Ahem... ahem... uh... yodllɒɔ omiʞƨɘ ,bɘllɒɔ bnɒd ɒ ʇo bɿɒɘʜ uoy ɘvɒʜ ...ɘm llɘT?"

The rabbit and panda looked back at the turkey. The panda answered, ".oƨ ʞniʜƚ I ,ʜɒɘy ,ɿƎ"

The turkey nodded its missing head. "blɿow ɘʜƚ llɒ ni bnɒd ƚƨɘd ɘʜƚ ƨ'ƚi ƚɒʜƚ ɘɘɿǫɒ uoy ob ,ɘm llɘT .booǫ ,booᎮ"

The panda wearing the rabbit suit seemed to get excited and angry. "!ɿɘvɘ bnɒd ƚƨɘd ɘʜƚ ƨi ƚƨniɒǫɒ ɘƨiɿ yɒƨ I !on oИ"

The turkey did his best to try and placate the panda; "—ɘƚunim ɒ ƚiɒw ,no bloH"

The panda stamped his foot. "I ƚ'nƨɒw ,ʇlɘƨym ƨƚɿɘɔnoɔ ɿiɘʜƚ ʇo ɘno ƚɒ ɘɿɘʜƚ ƨɒw I !ɘvil ɿɘvɘ oƚ bnɒd ƚƨɘd ɘʜƚ ƨi ƚƨniɒǫɒ ɘƨiЯ"

The rabbit agreed with him. ".uoy wɒƨ I ⁏ɘɿɘw uoy ɘƨɿuoɔ ʇo ,ƨɘY"

"—ƚnɘmuǫɿɒ nɒ ƚɿɒƚƨ oƚ nɒɘm ƚ'nbib I ,yɿɿoƨ m'I"

But the panda bear ignored the turkey's attempt at peace making. "—ll'I !dmil moɿʇ dmil uoy ɿɒɘƚ ll'I !u ʞɘɿ ll'I 8m ,ƚow U ƚƨɘƚɒɘɿǫ ɘʜƚ ƨ'yodllɒɔ omiʞƨɘ ,nɒɘm uoy ob ƚɒʜW"

Finally, the cooked turkey had had enough. "!nɘƚƨil ,ɘɿɘʜƚ yɘH !ǫninɘƚƨil uoy ɘɿA ␚ɘƚunim ɘno ɿoʇ qu ƚuʜƨ ƚƨuႱ oy bluoW"

Before the altercation could break out into physical violence, the elevator doors opened, revealing a massive star field where the Corneria City skyscape should have been. At the sight of the dream-like sea of stars, Fox's jaw dropped open in wonder. "Whoa... it's beautiful..."

Through the ocean of stars, a massive, hulking figure lazily swam. As it neared the elevator box, it's true form became clear; it was a large, blue whale, swimming through the depths of space. It stopped, gently treading water in front of the group of passengers. Its mouth opened.

"Fox, it's me! Your father! Can you hear me? I swam all this way through space to see you!"

"Oh, yeah..." Fox said, as if something was expected of him. "So... how's life, dad?"

The whale fixed Fox with a suspicious glare. "Well, I'm a whale now, so that's something."

A/N: Bugger me, I'm out. Have a happy Thanksgiving!