Chapter 6

They were still in the cramped kitchen, sipping from the tea Rose had insisted on making. The tension between them had vanished almost completely, but neither of them knew how to start a conversation. The chances to say something inappropriate that would make the other back away were extremely high.

The silence dragged on and the Doctor used the time to study Rose's face. She didn't look good at all. He noticed she had bags under her eyes and wore no make-up. Her cheeks were hollow and he was sure she had lost weight. Clearly she wasn't taking care of herself, and hadn't found anyone to do that for her. She'd recently had a haircut so that it was now, ironically, shorter than when she travelled with him. But the full effect of two years being trapped in a parallel universe was hidden behind layers and layers of barriers. Her gaze was blank, steady, emotionless. Once her eyes had been sparkling with joy and excitement, taking in the wonders of the universe with such interest and love, but now they were cold and lifeless. Two dark puddles of lost hope.

Rose stared back at him, taking him in the same way he was taking in her. Her eyes flicked over his face until they found his gaze. She held it for a long moment.

'So, uhm... How long has it been for you?' she finally asked quietly.

'I don't know.' he repeated. 'Couldn't bear to keep count.'

Rose unclasped their hands, leaving his cold and clam, and reached out to behind his head. 'All the time I was with you, your hair didn't seem to grow.' she frowned, raking her fingers through his hair. 'And now it's so long.'

He let her fumble with his hair trying to come up with a decent answer. He had none. 'I couldn't cut it.' he mouthed finally.

'Why not?'

'It's the only way I could bear to count.' he said harshly.

She looked up at him expectantly, demanding an explanation he felt he owed her.

'I didn't want to forget.' he whispered. 'But I couldn't count the days, couldn't live knowing exactly how long you were gone. So I let my hair grow.' he bit his lip and added: 'It's a reminder of my mistakes. I never want to make them again.'

He was glad she didn't ask what mistakes he meant. She wouldn't be ready for him to confess everything he had felt and known when she was travelling with him.

'How long is it?' she asked tentatively.

'Forty-two centimetres.' he mumbled.

Rose bit her lip. At humans standards it would take far more than two years for hair to grow that long. She wasn't quite sure what to say about it.

The doctor felt a dull ace in his chest as he thought back at the events of that morning -had it really been only that morning?- waking up to the TARDIS reminding him of-

Wait a moment.

Suddenly all the blood was drawn from his face. 'Oh...'

'What is it?'

'The TARDIS...' he whispered breathlessly. 'Why didn't I think of her before?'

Roses eyes grew wide in horror as she the realisation hit her. 'No...'

The Doctor grabbed her shoulders. 'Where is she?'

'Ehm- I think, ehm-' she racked her mind, had Pete said anything about the TARDIS? No.

'Rose!' he cried.

'We need to find Jake!' she finally spat out, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him along.

They ran through the maze of corridors and stairways. Rose seemed to know exactly where she was going and the Doctor had a hard time trying to keep up with her. He really shouldn't be running with these injuries, but was spurred on by the rush of adrenaline. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of his ship. The Tardis's safety was priority, always had been. Even if he had been a bit preoccupied since he got here, how could he have forgotten something so important?

Finally they stopped in front of yet another door, seemingly identical to all the others they had passed. Rose didn't bother knocking and marched into the room, addressing the young boy with spikes who was pouting at the remnants of what had once been a desk. 'Jake, where is the- Oh...'

Jake looked up at the visitors. 'Er... So this just sort of happened.' he mumbled ashamedly.

Rose grimaced. 'Told you to be careful with that tube. You're the third one this week.'

The Doctor, who had doubled over in pain, trying to catch his breath somehow still managed to cough impatiently. 'Where is the TARDIS?'

'Oh no, no.' Jake jumped from his chair and grabbed the Doctors arm to support him while he kept coughing. 'Why are you doing here? We had an agreement.'

He turned to Rose, fear and anger having replaced the guilty look. 'Why are you letting him run around like this?'

Rose held up her hands in defence. 'I-'

'No, Rose, why don't you understand? His ribs are broken. A normal human being would barely manage to stand, let alone walk.'

'I'll be fine.' The Doctor coughed again, but when he wiped his mouth they noticed red blood sticking to his fingers. 'I need the Tardis.'

'You need to go back to bed. I'm calling Pete to give you a sedative.'

'No.' The Doctor groaned.

'Do I have to spell it out for you?' Jake was shouting now. 'Your. Ribs. Are. Broken.'

The Doctor glared at him. 'If you don't bring me to my ship now, I'll break a lot more than that.'

'Stop it.' Rose pulled Jack away from the Time Lord. 'Jake, you of all people should know how important the Tardis is. It's home.'

Jake hesitated, torn between giving in, because it was true, the Tardis was home to the Doctor, and calling Pete, because he wouldn't let Rose lose her friend again.

'Okay.' He sighed. ' I think they brought it in two hours ago. I suppose they're done running tests. The usual stuff. I'll take you there on two conditions: Firstly, we walk.'

The Doctor huffed. Not that he would be capable of much more running even if he wanted to.

'And secondly, I'm calling Pete who'll send someone to escort you back to medical.'

The Doctor pulled a face. 'Did you really need to say escort?'

'Well?'

'Jack's right, Doctor, you do need to rest.' Rose said gently.

However wrong the Doctor would have liked her to be, he knew she did have a point. 'Fine.'

.

.

.

Jake led them down to a big hall, apparently filled with space junk. The Doctor recognised various objects from planets he had once visited. He was glad to see everything was completely harmless and most of it outdated. Everything, except for the blue police box standing on a platform at the centre of the hall. Jake send away the few technologists that were still trying to find away to break through the doors and turned to the Doctor.

'Here it is.'

The Doctor stepped forward as if in slow motion. He reached for the doors, hoping against all odds that the machine would reach back for him. His hand connected with the lifeless wood. A cold wave of emptiness washed over him and he paled. 'No no no...' he whispered. 'Don't do this to me. Please, don't do this to me.'

They watched as the Doctor walked slowly around the ship, inspecting every inch of its surface. Occasionally he stopped in his movements, placing both hands on the ships exterior or pressing his forehead against it as though trying to make contact mentally.

'The Tardis...' Rose started tentatively. 'Is she-'

The Doctor looked back at her blankly.

'Will she be able to-' she trailed off and stared at her feet, not really wanting to know what the answer might be.

The Doctor looked away, biting his lip. 'Rose,' he said softly. 'A Tardis is a very complex being. I already told you that it once was normal for my people to cross the void and visit parallel worlds. But that always took more than one Tardis and there were always others waiting on the other side. The Tardis is conscious, she's telepathically connected with me. Timelords can feel the each other's consciousness as well as of other telepathic species. Through a similar connection, Tardises are in some way aware of each other. This means there is always a stream of consciousness, tiny fibres in time and space, to lead them back home.'

He paused, inhaling deeply, and continued with a calm and steady voice. 'There is very little chance that the Tardis can escape this universe. Last time we were unbelievably lucky, she hadn't crashed this badly and we immediately had her recharging. Well, kind of.' he sighed. 'This time however, she's shut down entirely, no way to find enough power to raise her energy levels again. There's not even a spark left. She might never fly again.'

AN: Currently I am working on two other sorts of fanfic (BotH and a new one) and I noticed the difference in writing style.
The other pieces are a lot more introspective, which makes this fic feel a bit hastened.
Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave me a comment with your thougts on this chapter and how to improve this story

TBC