Again the same door. Again the same anguish and despair that I feel every time I see it.

I'm not brave. I am weak, so very weak.

I knocked on the door to announce my arrival and walked in.

No exercise self-control could have helped me to handle this situation; I was expecting to see him breaking something, reading my journal, or looking for some reason to make my task a little more miserable. But no. Everything I imagined in my head that Warner might have been doing could not compare with what looked in front of me.

Warner was asleep. Not like a normal person sleeps, of course not. It was so quiet that even for a moment I doubted if he was dead. That tough guy, tormented boy expression, was gone completely and the boy who stood in front of my eyes was just a poor child in the hope of a better life.

My heart was shattered.

I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel him.

He was wearing only a pair of black boxers, all his clothes were stacked beside the mattress and I could not take my eyes from his body. His face. I could have spent hours trying to find a fault on the guy who was just centimeters from me but this was almost impossible. Perfect. Magnificent.

-Juliette ...-

I barely gasped when he spoked my name and my heart stopped for a second. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I forgot the fact that Warner could wake up at any moment. And for some strange reason, I was so happy.

Now he was watching me, as if I was completely his, as if he was reading my thoughts. Something in his eyes hypnotized me and my body also seemed to succumb to its charms as it was anchored in the same place since he had entered the room.

-I'm sorry.- I said while I was drowning in my own words.- I do not know why...

-No need to apologize to me, love.-His voice was deep yet so captivating-. All I'm going to ask you is if you could throw me my pants.

Just as I did the first movement I nearly tripped over my own feet. I bent down and threw the pair of pants to Warner that, just in seconds, he was already wearing them.

His chest was still naked.

I could not help but admire him. His torso seemed sculpted, every corner was marked as if it had been carved, and he was so close to me that I blushed. The room was so small.

I felt like I was drowning.

-I didn't want to wake you up.- were the only words I could articulate easily.

-You know perfectly well that your presence is most gratifying to me, Juliette.-Warner, who had already stood up to get dressed, took a step toward my direction as he studied me from head to toe.

And the memories came to my mind like a burst, a series of images projected on a millisecond; Warner touching me, Warner kissing me, Warner telling me he loved me. Everything seemed so unreal. Everything seemed a cosmic joke of destiny.

-We're not goint to hurt you, we just want you to collaborate.-I mumbled, trying to avoid his gaze.-That's all that I can and want to ask you.

Warner gave a half smile, almost laughing at me.

-Do not play with me, Juliette.-muttered him-. It might be all you can ask, given the conditions, but I'm more than sure that is not the only thing you want to ask me.-My body was disrupted for a moment and I had to retrieve the air-. I'd put my hands in the fire for it.

Nothing, absolutely nothing of this was fine. Why did I feel this way? Why I could not hate him like everyone else? The image of Adam invaded my thoughts and I felt such great hatred towards me, how was I able to feel compassion for the person who had tried to kill him, for the same person who locked me and tortured me?

None of this made sense.

And despite my existential dilemma, the guy who was only three steps from my skin blowned me away. He destabilized every part of my being.

I remembered how I had felt when our skin had collided, when the heat of his body invaded mine and his lips explored every centimeter of my face. I was petrified. Maybe I was going crazy. But I wanted his touch more than anything in this world; I had become addicted to feeling.

-Do not say those things, Warner.- I exclaimed, trying to sound as serious as possible.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip corners.

God.

-Say it again.

-What?

-My name.-he whispered-. Say it. Please.

-Warner, I don't understand what ...

And it all happened so fast. Almost in the blink of an eye. Because when I felt the Warner's palm landing on my cheek the world collapsed.

My skin was burning.

The guy who was in front of my eyes did not show any sign of repentance as he was caressing me like a work of art. His finger traced small circles over my face, almost proving that it was not a dream.

I could not move.

-I'm not going to hurt you, Juliette.-he whispered, pleading voice and eyes.-I would never hurt you, never in a million years. Please just let me feel you again, because after this war I do not know what will become of me, do not know what will become of you, and I can not live another day thinking I may never be able to touch you again.

His words had left me speechless, had been so sincere, so pure, I still could not absorb the fact that they came from the same person I had met weeks ago. Because this Warner was nothing like that boy I shot, not the one I declared my hatred under his nose.

This Warner made my skin prickle. This Warner made it all ceased to have meaning.

-You know I owe you an apology-I muttered. His hand was still on my skin.- I fired because I was desperate, I fired because I really hated you for what you had done to me and all you had done to Adam.-He looked up and his gaze collided with mine, and for a second I wished I would not have done that. His eyes left him naked. I was so sorry and I was not even sure if it was true, if he really had changed. But inside me, I harbored a childish hope that filled my heart.

-I know. You have every right to hate me, Juliette.

This time, I was the one who approached him, it was my hand that landed on his neck and stroked him; it was a force inside me that I could not control, was unintentional, it was something I had never felt.

-I do no hate you, Warner.-His skin and my skin. Both burning-. I wish I could hate you. I try to hate you. It would be so much easier if I did hate you. Sometimes I think I do hate you and then I see you and I...

I was not able to finish the sentence because he was already watching me as if I had given him the best gift, as if I'd said the words he had longed to hear. Each limb of my body gave in to the weakness of his eyes, at the tenderness of his face and did not resist when he rested his forehead on mine, almost as if I were his support . His strength to continue.

Never in a million years would I have imagined that this would be happening. That same boy that I despised weeks ago was making me feel as if I was unique. As if I was important.

-Juliette ...- murmured, his cold breath on my face. Our eyes made contact. It was dark and I could only glimpse its silhouette and the depth of his gaze.- I want to do something. You tell me if you want me to stop ...

Warner did not hesitate and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling his body even closer to mine, further to his naked torso. His hands were moving up my back as he started walking, leading me toward the exit. I bumped into the door as I felt his hand slide on my stomach, and in that moment I cursed my suit, I cursed the fabric layers separating Warner's hands from my skin.

I did not want him to stop. I could have made a list of things I endlessly prefered that happened before Warner stoped touching me. It felt so good that it came to scare me.

Do I really wanted this? I didn't have a second to analyze the situation because Warner had taken my two wrists and had placed them over my head, still holding. It was impossible to carry out any movement.

I was exposed. Vulnerable. Helpless.

Warner kissed my cheek.

Then my neck.

He put his lips on mine. Without executing any movement. Just touching, checking that this was actually happening.

I tried to maintain a regular breathing but it was impossible, not with Warner touring every corner of my body with his mouth. I wanted him as much as he wanted me.

He placed a small kiss on my lower lip.

-Tell me if you want me to stop ...-

-No-I interrupted ruthlessly-. Do not stop, please.

Warner smiled, a smile so depraved that caused my skin to ignite in the blink of an eye.

And he kissed me passionately. I did not want it to be delicate, or considered, I wanted him to kiss me like it was the last day before the world exploded.

And he did.

His lips were so soft yet so naughty, his tongue was in my mouth exploring every corner. Warner had already released my hands and now they were descending through my body, leaving its mark on every centimeter of my skin.

-Take off my suit.- I said, between kisses.

Warner was ecstatic. He turned me in seconds and my cheek hit against the cool wall; he spread my legs and leaned behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck, and I really felt like I was on fire. I didn't know if my power had something to do with my body temperature but I never had felt this way.

His hand found the zipper in a matter of seconds, and while Warner was leaving me even more exposed I felt a breeze on my skin that made me remember that I was really able to feel, to be happy, to have a good life.

When the zipper came to my waist he stopped.

-Are you sure about this, love?-. His voice was so sweet, so shocking that inspired me a confidence that I did not feel for a long time. I nodded. Warner placed a kiss on my nacked back.-. You're beautiful.

The suit was on the floor. I was only wearing my underwear and Warner was almost in the same situation. I was still against the wall, a little embarassed. Warner helped me and slowly turned me around as our noses collided.

When he saw me his eyes were wide opened and he gasped.

-I can not believe this.-his body tensed, and his chest seemed to respond to the stimulus. I bit my lip and watched him a little cheerful. He came so close to me that he held the few feet that separated us. We were so close together that we seemed one-. You're mine, you know? I want to be yours and I want you to love me just as I do. I want to be the first thing you think when you wake up and the last thing you remember before falling asleep. I want you to trust me, let me be your support ...- This time he caressed my cheek and I do not remember anyone in my 17 years of life that would have watched me the way that Warner was doing it at that very moment, almost as if I was a gem.- I want you to want me passionately, that you want to be with me, I want you to shudder every time I pronounce your name-He kissed the corner of my mouth-Juliette ...- he sighed, his mouth on mine. Oh, Juliette, you are my downfall ...

I kissed him like I never had done before. I kissed him slowly, kissed him hastily, kissed him sweetly and kissed him gently as if there were no tomorrow. I could not act rationally, not while my heart was beating so strong, not after the words he had uttered.

The irony was that Warner did not know; but he also was my ruin.

I loved him as much as I hated him too.

What was I doing?

...

Never in a million years I could imagined that having feelings would be so complicated.