Author Notes

A short prologue set near the end of Book 3 just to get us started.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Not all.

All those weeks ago Asami had started to dream of a different ending, a better outcome. Everything had changed in those few weeks both on a personal level and on a global scale. The Air Nation was reborn, the world was inhabited by spirits and Republic City was covered in vines.

The personal change had been a little less obvious at first and had then crashed into her like a sato-mobile veering off the road. It seemed everything in her life had a terrible habit of doing that. The death of her mother, the betrayal of her father and now these feelings...

Feelings whose intensity seemed to grow by the day like some unstoppable tide always threatening to sweep the engineer off of her feet. Surely they had reached there peak by now? Otherwise...things would start to slip. Things that had to be kept under lock and key for everyone else's sake other than her own, as usual.

Now they were here. Trapped in an inescapable reality, an impossible choice that she had absolutely no say on. Not what she wanted to say anyway. I was so naïve...

How could this situation have ended any other way, with so many lives in the balance? They were dealing with the Red Lotus. A terrorist organisation filled with the most dangerous and fanatical benders in the world. Defeating them, or even staying one step ahead of them, was more complicated than any game of Pai-Sho. There was never going to be any easy solution to all of this.

They wanted...Korra...

Zaheer wanted the Avatar. Korra the person on the other hand wasn't even a consideration. It never was.

For what purpose none of them truly knew, but the possibilities terrified Asami after what terrible end had befallen the Earth Queen in every moment of silence, had given her many a restless night. They'd done the same to Korra, though the Avatar wouldn't admit that to anyone, not even her best friend. Asami hadn't given up asking. Not until Korra physically pushed her away. She would always try.

They were close to the temple now, preparing to hand Korra over to Zaheer in exchange for the air benders. Everyone else on the airship had tried to sway her away from that decision but Korra has refuted all suggestions due to the dangers they presented for the Air Nation and Su with her metal clan soldiers. The Avatar would do what the Avatar was meant to do, be selfless. Sacrifice themselves for the sake of balance and legacy.

It was a burden that made Asami's heart ache painfully. Why did Korra have to be the Avatar, with all of that responsibility? Actually the real question was why did Asami have to have such an intense attraction to Korra at this time? Of all times...oh Sato your timing is truly horrendous...

The engineer shook her head slowly then and attempted to steady her shaking hands.

Korra had given them a mission. "Save the air benders then you can worry about saving me." When the Avatar had said those words she was an addressing a room full of people yet her deep blue eyes had been boring into Asami the whole time she spoke. It was a request of Asami more than anyone else in that room. Save the air benders, save the nation Korra had restored. The Avatar's personal safety came later.

She was trusting Asami to do what needed to be done regardless of what happened to her. The Air Nation came first. Asami had to be the one to make sure the Air Nation was preserved no matter what anyone else in their rescue team commanded. What Tonraq might do.

Would Korra still trust Asami with such a important task if she knew the engineer's feeling? That was doubtful.

The way Asami was feeling right now...

She wasn't thinking clearly at all, even briefly considering tossing a coin on the Air Nation or Korra before she slapped herself on the head with a gloved hand frantically for being so utterly selfish. The Air Nation was full of people she loved, Tenzin, Pema, Jinora, all the air bender children. How could she possibly gamble their fate on a single yuan? But Korra's still a child herself. She's only 18. An 18 year old should never have this much responsibility on their shoulders. It's cruel.

Korra made her mind messier, made her brain wander, obliterated that rational thought she so valued herself on.

The sound of the cargo hold door opening and closing snapped Asami out of her inner turmoil as she quickly adjusted her hair in the reflection of the floor. Nobody needed to know how frazzled she actually was. It wouldn't be good for moral. She was supposed to be flying this airship in less than an hour on a vital rescue mission.

Korra stepped into the room cautiously. There was a tangible heaviness to her usually light footsteps and voice. "You wanted to see me?"

And then the inner turmoil started all over again as Korra perched herself on top of a crate opposite her best friend, tapping her heals against the wooden box as she waited anxiously for a response from the engineer. It took Asami a few seconds to actually remember asking Korra to come here at all never mind for what purpose.

"Yeh...I...I was..."

Asami stopped mumbling slowly when she noted that Korra wasn't paying her much attention at all, staring at a wolf tail edged reflection on the floor. The Avatar looked lost to the world. That was almost a relief as Asami glanced at the mountain landscape they were passing over out of a nearby window, allowing Korra some time with her thoughts.

Eventually Asami grew impatient, a phenomenon she rarely experienced, and tapped the floor loudly with her boot. The bang vibrated all across the metal walls and floor painfully as the engineer covered her face with her hands. A fright was the last thing Korra needed. Indeed the Avatar did appear startled as she wrenched her head up from the ground with wide eyes and almost fell off the crate.

Asami was about to apologize once her face was slightly less sickly in colour when Korra smiled warmly across the way and stabilized herself on the crate. "You got me," the Avatar chuckled lightly as she tugged at the top of one of her navy armbands gently.

"Sorry about that, I seriously wasn't trying to frighten you. It guess it was nice to get some revenge for the heart attack you gave me in Ba Sing Se," Asami replied with a smirk before she leaned forward slightly. "You okay, you looked miles away? Though I guess that's pretty understandable what with everything that's happenin-"

"I'm fine, okay?!" Korra interrupted sharply before she shook her head frantically and looked up again. "Sorry. I didn't mean to take everything out on you Asami. You're the last person I'd do that to. It's just I've been asked that question like a million times in the last hour."

Asami nodded her agreement but Korra's unexpected anger had stunned her in silence. That and she was hopelessly fumbling for the right words to say, if there were any.

"Are we close to the air benders...?" Korra asked a little more softly as she pulled at her armband with a little more vigour.

"Half an hour Captain Kuvira said..." Asami answered heavily. Only half an hour and Korra would be walking into the jaws of death. What if they couldn't save her afterwards? What if Korra – no she couldn't allow herself to think so negatively, for Korra's sake if not her own.

Korra looked out the window briefly and then back to the floor. The Avatar opened her mouth briefly as though about to speak but closed it a second later. Apparently Korra didn't really know what to say either.

Asami resolved to give Korra a reason to comeback, to not allow herself to be murdered at Zaheer's hands or whatever else the Red Lotus wanted to do to her Avatar. The engineer had to give the water tribe girl another hope to cling to, and Asami would forever regret not asking this if something did go wrong.

"So I'm guessing you're wondering why I asked you to come here...?"

Korra nodded her agreement as she raised her head to face Asami again. There was so much sadness and worry radiating in the Avatar's eyes.

"I just, I wanted to ask you something, after all of this Red Lotus stuff is done with. Once we save the air benders," Asami began nervously as she rubbed the top of her jacket sleeve.

"Once you save the air benders..." Korra repeated sadly.

"I was, just wondering, you know, if you'd want to go out for dinner sometime, when we get back to Republic City. Just the two of us...?" Asami managed to ask through considerable spluttering. She knew fine well her face had gone red at such a question and it was something the Avatar definitely took notice of.

Korra looked curious for a second before her expression became a mixture of anger and frustration. Suddenly the Avatar was on her feet and stomping for the door, unable to meet Asami's concerned gaze.

"I'm sorry, I can't, I can't think about that stuff right now, not with everything that's happening with the Red Lotus. I can't let anything distract me!" Korra muttered frantically as she pulled opened the door of the cargo room haphazardly. "Look, I, I need to go, clear my head a little before we land. Alone. I'll...I'll talk to you after all of this is over, once everything's okay. I promise," Korra stated resolutely as she glanced briefly at her friend.

Asami nodded her agreement and tried to look as understanding as possible despite the way her stomach was churning right now. This rejection, though not absolute, hurt like hell. That and Asami felt guilty for even asking such a thing at a tense time like this. So stupid...

"Alright Korra, I get it. Just make sure you say goodbye before you go," Asami pleaded a little more desperately than she had intended.

Korra nodded her head firmly. "Of course I will."

"You'll be okay Korra," Asami assured warmly before the Avatar exited.

"Yeh...thanks," Korra managed to half smile before she left.

A weariness circulating the Avatar's eyes with every exhale betrayed her thoughts. Korra believed that goodbye could be final.

I won't let that happen. I'll save the air benders, and I'll save Korra. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Both of them can come back in one piece.

End Notes

This is part of a series, The Engineer and the Avatar, Book 5: Light is part of that series too, which is on my profile, but you don't need to read one or the other in any particular order.