From S4xE12 to S2xE3

"I can't lose him!" Merlin yelled at the dragon. "He's my friend!"

No, he thought, this can't be happening. I can't lose Arthur – he's my destiny, Camelot's destiny!

Kilgarrah was saying something, but Merlin's thoughts had descended into chaos and he wasn't listening. The time for listening is over. I have to make my own way.

Words of the Old Religion began forming in his mind and falling from his lips. He vaguely noticed the sun moving backwards, and then saw his life literally flash before his eyes…backwards.

Morgana, Lancelot, Father, Freya, Elyan…I can't lose them and Arthur too!

The months flashed by and turned into years. Merlin watched, fascinated despite himself.

Now! he thought, and stopped the spell.

"Merlin!" a voice called, and he looked up to see Arthur, large as life and twice as natural, walking towards him.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered, not daring to believe it, studying the person before him.

Arthur was looking around confusedly. He focused on Merlin, and then finally on something in Merlin's hand. The mild confusion on his face gave way to utter bewilderment. Merlin looked down. He had flowers in his hand. He looked back at Arthur, and then his knees buckled.

"Merlin!" Arthur said again, catching him a little too late and then dragging him back to his own chambers. Merlin didn't resist. "What is going on?" Arthur demanded, dumping Merlin rather roughly in a chair. Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but Arthur interrupted again. "And this time, for once, tell me the truth, Merlin."

"Uh–what?" Surely he doesn't remember?

"I was dying, I know it!" Arthur nearly shouted. "We were at the shore of that lake, and now we're back in Camelot as if nothing ever happened!"

Okay. Clearly he does remember.

"And you look about ten years younger!"Arthur went on. "What is going on?"

"Sh," Merlin admonished, feeling light-headed with happiness, what with Arthur back on his feet, yelling at him again. "Someone might hear." He looked at the flowers again and chuckled. "No, Arthur, I wasn't in love with Morgana." Arthur looked at him as if he feared for Merlin's sanity. "I just wanted her to feel better after the fire, like I told you. See? I told you the truth that time."

"Merlin!"

Merlin sighed. "I turned back time, Arthur. I couldn't let you die." Arthur stumbled backwards. Merlin had never seen him looking so staggered, even when he had learned about Merlin's magic. "The blade that Mordred struck you with," Merlin winced, "was forged in a dragon's breath, and its power is such that I couldn't heal you."

Arthur sat down heavily in a chair as if his legs were imitating Merlin's. "And where–which year are we in?"

Merlin weakly brandished the flowers. "Morgana's chambers caught fire, remember? There is no murderer, by the way; she started it herself, by accident. This is the day after."

There was a long pause. "Couldn't you have just transported me quickly to that island or something?" Arthur said.

"Mmh," Merlin replied, half-asleep, "I wonder why I didn't think of that."

"Wha–Merlin, wake up!"

"That was actually a good idea, Arthur, you're starting to think like a magician," Merlin murmured, his head drooping.

"Merlin!" Arthur said, shaking Merlin violently.

"Well, excuse me," Merlin said peevishly, waking up a little and rubbing his eyes. "I just performed a spell that would've killed most magicians, and do I get any rest, let alone thanks? No, sirree…" He trailed off. Arthur was staring at him as if he'd never seen him before. "Arthur?" Merlin said softly.

Arthur twisted around so Merlin couldn't see his face. "Just getting used to certain outlandish ideas, like my manservant turning back time," he said, a little too casually.

Merlin remained silent.

"And just why did the great sorcerer turn back time by so many years? Just a few hours would have sufficed in order to save my life."

Merlin took a deep, calming breath. "To prevent the deaths of other people. And stop still others from turning against us in the first place."

"Morgana and Mordred, you mean."

Merlin nodded.

"You'd better deliver those flowers to–" Arthur stopped. "Their intended recipient," he ended finally.

"Arthur, we need to let her know she is accepted, even with her magic," Merlin said earnestly. "This is where it all started going downhill–with Morgana turning against Uther because she had been alone and afraid for far too long!"

"Accepted!" Arthur burst out incredulously. "After all she did? She's the reason all this," he waved his hand about, "happened in the first place!"

"No, Arthur," Merlin said quietly. "Not yet, not anymore. We're in the past, remember? At this moment in time, she's not responsible for anything."

Arthur huffed and turned away. "You think too much."

"I'm an idiot, idiots don't think very much." Merlin didn't know why he was feeling so argumentative.

Arthur had frozen. "Merlin," and he sounded ever so uncertain, "I already apologized for…no, I didn't, did I?" He leaned against the table and closed his eyes. "I could spend the rest of my life apologizing for my behavior."

Merlin wondered why he could never stay angry at Arthur for very long. "Well," he returned cheerfully, "you did give me two days off, so that's something. And for another–"

He waved his hand and the room began cleaning itself. "Most of my chores are taken care of."

Arthur watched Merlin sit in Gaius' chambers, waiting and thinking about the old physician's reaction to their strange story. Gaius had sat Merlin down and examined him for head injuries before properly listening to him. Arthur's presence had helped convince him.

The door opened and Morgana walked in, wearing her nightclothes. Arthur watched through a crack in Merlin's's bedroom door. "Where's Gaius?" she said in a panicked voice.

Merlin replied rather mechanically, Arthur thought. He himself felt disjointed in time, his mind filling with memories of a raving Morgana threatening to destroy him and everyone on his side. He forced himself to concentrate.

"Is it magic?" Morgana was asking. "I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it," she said pleadingly.

"Yes, Morgana," Merlin said firmly. "It is magic." Morgana's eyes widened. "And I know how you feel," Merlin continued. He whispered a command and a table rose in the air. Morgana gasped. "We are kin, Morgana. You don't need to be alone anymore. And I'm not the only one who thinks so."

Arthur stepped into the room. Morgana recoiled as if she'd been struck. "It's all right, Morgana," Arthur said, albeit a little stiffly. "I'm on your side."

Morgana paused, still wide-eyed, and then said, "But what about your father?"

"My father probably wouldn't understand," Arthur said distantly, wishing his heart wouldn't twist so at the mere mention of his not-dead father.

"Your dreams were magic too, Morgana," Merlin said. "They were premonitions."

Morgana closed her eyes as if the words were soothing to hear. "I knew it. But Gaius…"

"He was trying to protect you."

Morgana was still looking at Arthur mistrustfully. Arthur sighed mentally. How was he the untrustworthy one now? "Don't worry, Morgana, to betray you would mean also betraying the man dearest to me in the world," Arthur said, enunciating each word carefully. Morgana looked from him to Merlin, and an understanding seemed to pass between the two magic users. "I owe him my life a hundred times over now, so you can peacefully go back to sleep, Morgana," Arthur tried to modulate his voice to a kinder tone. "Goodnight."

"And sleep well," Merlin said brightly, taking her arm and leading her out.

Arthur was sitting at the table when Merlin returned. "I hope you know what you're doing," Arthur told him. "I can't believe I just bid my greatest enemy a fond goodnight."

Merlin didn't reply. Arthur looked at him. "Out with it, Merlin. You being quiet is now even more unnerving than it usually is."

"Did you mean that?"

Arthur didn't have to ask for clarification. "I've come to know my father's love for what it is. It's mingled with hatred of other things that spills over to his love for me." He swallowed. He really didn't like doing this sort of thing.

"Have you seen him yet?"

"Not yet, I'm steeling my nerves. Mustn't give anything away. Anyway, to continue, I can safely say that you're the person I trust as much as-perhaps even more than- my wife. My wife whom you took from me," Arthur growled, looming over his manservant, glad that he was taller now. That would change soon.

"Yeah…sorry about that," Merlin grinned sheepishly. "At least you can win her faster this time, knowing she's the one for you."

Arthur pondered the strangeness of that comment along with the strangeness of everything that had happened that day, and then gave up. "You'd better get that rest you were complaining about," he said, heading for the door.

"So there's no chance that we could have a hug?" Merlin called out cheekily after him, and Arthur stopped, overcome by déjà vu. He turned back and strode purposefully towards his manservant, noting his half-scared, half-resigned look. He threw his arms around Merlin and pulled him to his chest. Merlin made a small noise of surprise, stiffening, and then relaxed. Merlin had gotten used to being pummeled, Arthur thought regretfully, running his fingers through Merlin's hair, and wondered why he had never cared before.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," Arthur said softly, "but we're stuck together in the past now, so you'll have to put up with me."

Merlin's arms came up to hold Arthur in return, and he replied, "I don't mind, Arthur." Arthur heard the break in the younger man's voice and couldn't resist. "You're such a girl, Merlin," he said, but Merlin only buried his head in Arthur's neck and squeezed him tighter. Arthur grinned like a boy, feeling lighter than he had in a long, long time. Is this what it is to have a little brother?

"We'll take on destiny," he heard Merlin say softly, almost as if to himself. "Together this time."

The door opened and Gaius entered. "Merlin, I'm home–" he began, and then broke off, staring.

Merlin didn't loosen his hold, so Arthur followed his example until the younger man pulled away. "Thank you, Arthur," he said quietly.

Gaius was tapping his foot on the floor now. He raised his eyebrow at them quizzically when the young men looked at him.

Merlin only beamed at Gaius. Arthur put an arm around Merlin's shoulders and said in a tone that sounded a lot like Merlin, "Cure for weepiness, Gaius?"

The physician finally smiled.