A/N: I'm looking for something to write that won't take much thinking, and a quick SI fits the bill. I'll caution you not to expect quality or logical consistency.

SIs and FE go well together, but I know I'd die in a medieval world. This character may be very, very loosely based on me, in terms of background history and game knowledge.

I'll almost completely use the FE world and story, with some minor Dark Souls mechanics thrown in to screw with our hero, because why not?

Most Fire Emblem SIs get to start near Southtown, or somewhere else near the plot. I have no such luck.

"4 months?" I ask incredulously.

The fisherman shrugs. "Ain't many people needin' to go up to Ylisse this time of year, pal. Sorry, but them's the breaks." He peers at me suspiciously. "Whaddya need to get to Ylisse for anyway, eh?"

I try my best to put on a lost expression. It's not very hard to do.

"Honestly, I don't got many other places to go," I say, not quite imitating his expression but at least making sure I don't speak using perfect grammar. "My ma used to tell me that I had family back at the Farfort in Ylisse."

I stop myself from adding to my made-up backstory. The man looks at me dubiously anyway. "They dress like that in Ylisse?" he asks, changing tacks.

That's not a bad question. I glance down at my jeans and plain white shirt. "Nah, doubt it. These clothes used to belong to my pa. Never really knew him, but I guess he was around my size."

The man looks skeptical. Rightly so, considering I'm lying through my teeth. "Ain't my business, but I'm pretty sure it'd be faster to take a boat to Plegia, and then go to Ylisse by land," he says. "Unless you got a reason for wanting to stay outta Plegia…"

His voice trails off. That's a bit of a loaded question.

"Well, I heard rumors of trouble at the borders, especially on Ylisse's side," I confide, not answering him directly. "Bandits go in packs everywhere there, so I hear."

"Bandits," the man spits, momentarily forgetting his suspicion of me. "Yeah, all over the mainland. Don't get 'em here, but then again I guess we've got-" the man cuts off and looks around. He lowers his voice. "Well, never you mind that. I've got work to do. Best o' luck, pal."

He picks up a pair of empty buckets at his feet and walks off, turning his head to give me a last look. Damn. He seemed like the friendliest man on the pier, and while I learned a bit from him, I can't help but feel I wasted a good conversation. Maybe I should've practiced speaking to someone else.

There's not too much bustle here despite it being high noon. Perhaps it's because of where I am: the Sea-King's Throne. As in the post-endgame paralogue where you find Gangrel. Seriously, that's my starting location. I was lucky enough to see a map a while back. I remember the world map from the game, so I could put two-and-two together.

I glance around the pier. I honestly don't feel comfortable approaching any of the other men. They don't really strike me as the lawful, good-Samaritan sort. For lack of anything better to do, I look around the island, trying to pretend I know where I'm going. No one really stops me, though I get a few odd glances. I'm pretty sure it's because of my clothes, but I'll be damned if I have any gold in my jeans pocket to pay for local clothing.

The panic starts to set in a few hours later. I've got no idea what I'm doing and I don't have any money or food. I find a nice, secluded area obscured by rocks and sit down. It takes a lot of willpower not to rock back and forth on the sand.

Okay, fuck. Okay, fuck. Okay. Fuck.

This isn't a very productive train of thought, but I can't seem to stop. Swearing is a pretty good placeholder when you don't know what to think.

Fuck, okay. Pull it together.

I close my eyes and try to concentrate, and that's when stuff gets real. You see, when I close my eyes, I'd expect to see nothing but blackness. Instead, I'm treated to a nice portrait of myself, complete with a name I'm pretty sure isn't my own and some stats.

Ess'ai
Outrealmer

LV: 1. EXP: 0.
HP: 17/17

What the hell?! I have a stats screen? I have a stats screen!

"Oi, what was that?"

The screen disappears as my head jerks up and my eyes open. Whoops, I'm pretty sure I let out some kind of shout.

"Sorry," I call out distantly. I'm sitting on sand with my back to some rocks as I face open waters. There's no one in my immediate line of sight. "Tripped on something."

I don't hear a direct reply, but no one comes investigating, so I put the thought aside. I close my eyes and try to concentrate again, feeling a surge of excitement. Lo and behold, my character page! I shift my mind's eye to look more directly at my name, and I'm rewarded with a small pop-up bubble. It's just like the game.

Ess'ai: A special little snowflake, far from home.

I let out a small chuckle before examining my class description.

Outrealmer: A wanderer from another world. Weak, but resilient.

I'm filled with a nervous energy now, but I don't think I could stop myself from looking at my actual stats even if I wanted to. With a thought, they manifest before my closed eyes.

Str: 3
Mag: 0
Skill: 2
Spd: 6
Lck: 2
Def: 8
Res: 7

Mov: 5

That's… definitely not bad, actually! I mean, sure, I can't fight too well, but at level 1, that's some great survivability.

Tension that I didn't even realize I was carrying on my shoulders slowly melts away. This… I can work with this. I might be in a brand new world, but this is something I'm familiar with: stats and RPG mechanics. The more I think about it, the more I'm satisfied with the stat distribution. I mean, I might not even end up doing anything in this world, anyway. What do I need strength for?

I take a second to actually think, to let it sink in. I'm in another world. Incidentally, I don't know how I got here. I literally woke up on this island.

I've read self-inserts. I wonder idly if I'm actually in one. Is someone out there writing about me, back on planet Earth? Is this whole world around me someone's imagination? In that case, can I expect this world to follow certain narrative patterns?

More than that, I'm pretty sure entering another world counts as breaking the laws of reality. Could this be used as proof that a God exists? Not Naga or Grima, but something that a human of planet Earth would consider God?

I shake my head. I'm sure I can come to a bottom-line later, but now isn't a good time for philosophy. My priority is to figure out my immediate goals and, if possible, my long-term plans. My immediate goal will probably be to stay alive. My long-term plans…

Well, I'm in the world of Awakening. I suppose the obvious answer is to help the Shepherds save the world, right? Then again, I probably don't want to cause any ripples. The default story of Awakening ends up with Grima being defeated, after all. Sure, a whole bunch of innocent people die in the crossfires of war, but there's a much worse alternative of Grima actually winning. Assuming I'm in the 2nd timeline with the amnesiac Robin, of course.

And that's also assuming that I'm not supposed to be some sort of Robin-substitute. I doubt it, all things considered. I'm smart, but I doubt I'd be able to pose as a true tactician. Plus, neither of my hands sport the Mark of Grima.

Hm. I suppose my first long-term goal is just to gather information about what timeline I'm in. And for that, I suspect I'd need to go to Ylisse. I'll need to think the matter over.

I close my eyes and call up my stat screen again. Even the idea of being a character with stats makes me grin. Right, what else is there? Ah, weapons. I see bow and staff symbols, both E rank. Hell yes! I have literally 0 magic, but even access to staves is way more than I would've asked for. And a ranged weapon is totally my style. Hit-and-run, baby!

Something unusual happens when I try to focus in on my skills section: I get a tutorial message. It's literally a written message that I can see in my mind.

Tutorial: Outrealmer Skills

The Outrealmer class will grant you access to unique skills, both upon reaching certain levels and upon clearing certain events. You may have up to 7 Outrealm skills equipped at any time.

You cannot switch to any class other than Outrealmer.

There's a flashing "continue?" button at the end of the message.

"Uh, continue?" I say aloud, eyes still closed. Nothing happens. Continue, I think, and the message is erased and replaced by another block of text.

Tutorial: Penalty Skills

Some Outrealm skills come attached with "Penalty Skills." Penalties are largely permanent. Un-equipping an Outrealm skill will not remove its corresponding penalty. There is no limit to the number of penalties you can be assigned, so choose your skills wisely.

Well, this is different. There's a flashing "Close" button at the end of the message. Close, I think, and the message disappears.

I take a second to re-evaluate my character page. It looks similar to the usual character page, but in the bottom-right corner, there really are two sections for skills.

I focus in on my skills section. There's 6 circular slots for potential skills, forming a hexagon around a 7th slot that's already occupied. I see an image of a man standing under a sun. With some trepidation, I concentrate on the icon, and a pop-up bubble appears.

Native: Allows you to speak the languages of new realms. You may wander new realms without falling prey to immediate sickness.

… I feel a surge of thankfulness to whatever God that's transported me to this world. Honestly, I didn't even think about that. Consuming water or food in a foreign world would probably give me traveller's diarrhea, at the very least. And for language, have I been speaking English this whole time? I didn't even second-guess the fact that I was able to speak with the fisherman before.

Better yet, everyone in Awakening canon is able to speak to one another without translators. It stands to reason that I'd be able to get by in Plegia, Ylisse, or even Valm! I stand up, energized, and allow myself a subtle fist-pump. It takes a lot of restraint to stop myself from cheering. That's a lot of mileage out of 1 skill. Gary Stu-dom, here I come!

Ah, but it's best not to get too excited. Below my Outrealm skills section is my Penalties section. There's only 1 icon present, a fiery orange circle among a background of black. Curious, I focus on it.

My mind freezes.

Darksign: Signifies an accursed undead. Those branded with it may be reborn after death, but are doomed to one day lose their mind and become true Risen.

No… there's got to be some kind of mistake. I'm in Fire Emblem, not Dark Souls.

The hope that had been steadily building in me wavers like a candle in a tempest. My eyes open involuntarily. The world around me hasn't changed, but everything feels a little colder.

I delve back into my stats screen, but the Darksign is still there. I look at my inventory, hoping for some more information. There are 2 items there.

Kara: A steel bracelet. No effect, but offers memories of a past life. Your starting gift.

Estus Flask 5/5: A Risen favourite. Recovers HP. Restored upon a full night's rest.

Well… shit.