They were a pair of frozen statues, staring at each other's faces through their billowing breaths. Catherine finally felt the cold settle into her bones. She couldn't even blink, even when her eyes began to prick with the pain.

"Well, go on then", she finally spat out.

Sutton seemed unable to tear his eyes away from her face and made a couple of false starts before finally saying: "I never thought that I could hurt you like this."

Catherine scoffed and looked away.

"That day, in the woods, I was sure that I had seen the depths of your pain. I didn't think you were capable of this."
He leaned closer to her, hands in his lap.

"Tell me how I can fix this."

She turned towards him and was surprised at his pleading expression.

"Why?"

"Because I feel something in my soul break when you look at me like this. Because I care for you more deeply then I thought myself able." As he spoke, his hands fidgeted, finally settling in a dead grip on his arms.

It reminded her so much of that fateful conversation in front of her house, when he told her he loved her and looked so lost and confused and embarrassed. Back then, something had gotten knocked loose inside her, she now realised.

Suddenly she felt heat in her eyes.

"I loved you, you stupid oaf. I loved you… so much and I waited for you to tell me you loved me or might love me sometimes in the future and you never did. You hurt me! You hurt me so deeply! Do you understand?!"

Her voice kept cracking over and over until her words suddenly barely fit between hiccuping sobs.

Sutton couldn't look at her anymore. Even in profile, his face was edged with embarrassment. When he reached for her, Catherine wasn't sure she wanted him to touch her. She flinched away, but he seemed unable to stop his momentum and collapsed against her, enveloping her in his arms. The embrace was awkward, him half out of his chair and the arms of her digging into her ribs, but Catherine didn't notice. It felt right. She curled her fingers into the loose fabric of his shirt at his sides, not quite wanting to touch the solid mass of him. With her forehead pressed against his collarbone she felt his heart, a quickly pulsating warmth in the cold. Over her sniffles, she heard his voice, muffled by the shawl covering her hair.

"I am so so sorry. I am so so sorry, Cathy", he kept repeating over and over again until she finally grew quiet, spent.

"First I told myself that I pushed you away because I couldn't betray Graham. When that failed, when you had wormed your way into my life anyway, I had already grown comfortable with the distance. I told everyone, but above all myself, that I relished being a bachelor. I craved the freedom it gave me to only care for people on my own terms, at my own convenience. I could come and go as I please; I would never have to choose between a friend and my own desires."

He paused and scoffed.

"That has always been who I was and I did not want to change that. Because I loved you, because I needed you to, I thought you would just fit into that life, somehow, eventually."

He tightened his hold on her and pressed his face into her shawl.

"You don't need to tell me that I am an idiot. I know that now. When you didn't reply to my letters anymore, I was sick to my stomach. I cannot decide whether I care about you or not. There could never be a day where I didn't care about you and wanted you right here, by my side, showing me how much of a fool I am being."

He tried to look into her face, but she buried her face into his shirt. Fresh tears were pricking at the corner of her eyes.

"Catherine, Vale, every day we are apart feels like an utter waste and I wish for nothing more then to have you right here, in my reach, for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"

It took her awhile to finally answer, her voice raw and barely above a whisper: "I don't know."

His heart stopped, she could feel it.

She took a deep breath, clearing the tears from her throat.

"Fine. Yes. Yes, I will."

Sutton laughed low and quiet and relieved, before tucking off her shawl and pressing a kiss to her hair.

"Don't make me regret it."

"No more than twice, I swear."

Three years after starting this story, here we are.

Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers. Your support has kept me writing.

This story means so much to me and I hope it means something to you too.

If you like my writing, might I direct you to my tumblr at nemiwrites? This story has given me the confidence to start on some original projects and one of them, a Twine story based on Alpine myths and my usual penchant for romance, should be publish-worthy soon.