There it is. Mortem.

One a month I come here, dragonback, so as to not be gone from my duties any longer than I must. This place means so much to me, and at the same time it is a place I hate. It is the hometown of one of the greatest heroes I have ever known, and where his grave is.

His empty grave.

I can't decide if that makes it hurt more or less, that there was no body left. I have seen funerals where the body is little more than charred bone, or mutilated beyond recognition by other magics, and while it hurts, it hurts just as much to see the faces of loved ones covered by earth. Those I failed to save. And those who saved me. Either way, they are gone and all they brought to the world with them, and Lore is poorer for their deaths.

One in particular.

Tomix…. My relationship with him was complicated, I muse as my steps carry me toward the grave. He was one of my closest friends, and while there are many I trust with my back in a fight, there were few whose skills matched my own so perfectly. And only one I would call my best friend.

He taught me how to weave with souls, how to heal with them, and helped to free Vayle from the curse of the Orb. He and I waged silent war on the undercity Ravenloss, sunken, abandoned Ravenloss, ruin of something once magnificent, even in ruins one could see the past glory, and there I met him and we formed our friendship. We emerged from there grinning and triumphant, with a friendship forged in the fires of war. Together we were near unstoppable!

And he has been dead for a year. I still find myself reaching for his SoulThreads as I sense the thread of the world, expecting him to be here, beside me with that half-smile of his. But always, I feel an absence where the threads should be.

But not here.

Here I have felt not his SoulThreads, but something like an echo of SoulThreads. I wish I knew more about SoulWeaving! I was interested before, but I preferred the path of the Riftwalker then. Now I stand before his grave in the armor I donned the day of his funeral, and never removed since…

I kneel, scraping my SpiritLooms over the name. My friend, you held a greater burden than the fate of the world, and carried it better than I ever could. For all that I have saved the world, I know too well what I am. Destruction, as is my dragon. I place my gift down, and do my best to hold back the tears. And to him, who gave us so much, who lead me to Aegis, who was by my side in battle from the first moment we met, he who sank so easily into the net I have felt binding some of my companions to me, and who simply accepted my return, I could give nothing in the end. Nothing!

I feel the tears begin to burn, and this time I let them fall. Aegis has withdrawn a little, though I can still feel him through our bond, but he gives me time to grieve when I come here.

I could do nothing for Tomix, save remember. But I will always remember. Until an enemy at last wins, or until the fire at the heart of the world burns out, until the Stranger wins and darkness covers the earth, until the stars fall and the world splits asunder, I shall remember. Until time has cracks and holes, not from Cysero's meddling, but simply wearing out, until there is nothing else left alive on Lore, and the sun itself grows old and dies, and Lore dies with it, I will remember.

There is nothing stronger than a dragon's memory.

So many times, I have wavered, almost giving in to the destruction that is my nature, as it is my partner's, but always the memory of his words have drawn me back, seeking justice instead of vengeance, mercy rather than senseless death, and love of the world rather than the power that fills me when Veritas and I act as one. Dragon of destruction indeed, but when we slip, Tomix's parting words always heal us.

I open my senses to the world, pulling at the threads of the tree, coaxing the blossoms open. You said I was the only bright spot in your life, my friend, the only good in your quest. You hunted for thirteen years, and you knew that to finish would kill you. But you finished. You banished Envy, even though Envy's power was all that kept you alive. You were braver than I could ever be. I miss you too. The tears fall. You endured more pain than I ever could.

I remember also his words when we first met again, as he guarded the portal to keep anything from getting out, and I asked about his hands. "Ah, yes... You see, spiritlooms are not supposed to break. The ones I had were already damaged because of what was sealed within them. The weaving accident I had as a kid must have damaged them even more. They... they also fused with my arms... I couldn't replace them and neither could I repair them. Once they broke, it felt...it...
...let's just say it wasn't a pleasant feeling..." He always got up, no matter how much harm or pain our enemies inflicted on him, he endured it, got up, and kept on walking, and fighting, and living. "Eh, cutting to the chase, I lost my hands. My physical, material hands. What you are seeing here, is my soul. I shaped a part of it to look like hands. I can't touch nor grab anything physical. I still can fight though, so don't think I'm useless..."

I never would have thought you useless! You fought after that like you had to prove something to me, but you never did. Or did you have to prove to yourself that you could still keep up with me? That you were worthy to stand by my side? Another possibility comes to mind as well. Or was it simply that so long as you fought so desperately, you could forget what would come?

His words drift through my mind again. What he said as he stood there, arms gone, bleeding from the damage I did as Envy controlled him. I hardly noticed what he said to the others, but I remember his last words to me all too clearly, and I wouldn't forget them for the world. Keep on helping people, just like you have helped me thousands of times. You are an inspiration. A true hero. I just want to say... I'll miss you.

I speak. All my regrets, my sorrows, how much I miss him, what I would give to have him by my side again, where I could hear his laugh, see his SpiritLooms flash beside mine, ask him questions about Weaving, and know he was alive, come pouring out. How scared I am that he's gone for good, nothing left on any plane, either that of the elemental spirits or the Ream of the Dead, because neither Aeigis or Vayle can find him, and how much I wish, if he could hear me, if there were any way to give me a sign!

With my sense open, to the world from what I did to the tree, I notice things more easily. Something tickles at my awareness, and my head comes up.

There it is again! The echo of his SoulThreads!

I shift between the world's threads, blurring into existence again beside the echo, which comes from a child, hair the same deep garnet red as Katia's is. As his had been when he was young, and as he fell. The grief burn high again, and I squelch the hope that had begun to blossom. Avatars, I should know better. And I've probably scarred the kid for life, appearing like this, even if he is Weaver-born.

And related to him, gauging by the hair. I only saw it this color on Katia, and as he fell, but I remember what Envy said, under the guise of Asper. "His face turned pale, and his hair changed from a deep crimson to the silver you see now. And his eyes... they WERE blue. Now, they are not."

My name is whispered by the boy, and I wonder why he sounds so choked and surprised.

Then he looks up, and my gaze is met by bright yellow-gold eyes, eyes that are far too old for the child's face they are set in.

Familiar eyes. Familiar SoulThreads.

Eyes I have only seen on one person. Threads that could never be copied.

"Tomix!" And the both of us are laughing and crying, and Avatars, now I know why he couldn't be found anywhere!

For the anniversary. I know I missed it by a bit, but still, here. Contains some of my thoughts on SoulWeaving as well.

R&R?