Total Shuffled World Tour Chapter 26 - Hawaiian Punch, a total drama series fanfic

Author's Note

Here we are, dear readers, the end of the season. The journey around the world is about to come to its exciting conclusion, and with it the first trilogy of the Total Shuffled series will be complete.

But for now, the final batch of publicly answered reviews this season - everything else after this will, as per usual, be answered via PM if at all.

Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart: Well, I suppose you'll just have to read on and find out what happens. Thank you for your review, as always!

acosta perez jose ramiro: Thank you once again! And yeah, Alejandro was pretty lucky with what happened to Staci. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the finale!

DSX62415: Thanks. And as for Ella's treatment in comparison to Cody's in canon...well, you'll just have to read on and find out.

bruno14: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Especially Ella riding on the back of a condor, it was a really fun sequence to write. I hope you enjoy the finale!

Animation Adventures: Wow, high praise! I'm glad you enjoyed the Sugar-Alejandro rivalry so much. And Ella and Tyler too, of course; I'm glad so many people enjoyed them riding condor-back. Too bad real condors are neither as strong nor as people-friendly. I'm happy that you liked the song as well, of course, but even more so that you enjoyed Staci's much-expanded role both in the episode. The fact that I've been able to give everyone in the first generation cast a proper moment to make their mark, as you said, is something I'm really proud of - especially with underused characters like Staci and Beardo. I don't think I'll really be able to keep it up with the other two casts, if only because some of them will only have an episode or two to appear in, but I'm going to do my best to give underutilized characters some development.
As for the All-Stars cast...well, I won't say I've finalized them yet, and there's many difficult decisions to make regarding them, but I hope that regardless of who I end up choosing you enjoy the season when it finally comes.

P. T. Piranha: Thanks! And yeah, I agree that Alejandro needs other non-Heather villains to compete against to really bring some interesting stuff out of him. Fortunately, these past three seasons have had plenty of that, I think. And yeah, although I could have had the Final Two decided last week, that would force me to not only skip the epic tiebreaker challenge, but also to figure out something to fill that space with. And between having to write a song and two endings, it just wouldn't be worth it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the season finale!

Guest: What's that? You want me to make the entire cast of Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island explicitly gay? Especially the guys? I don't know, that sounds tricky, but I'll see what I can do.

FOWLKON: I know, it's hard to believe it's already been over a year since the premiere of Total Shuffled Action. We've all come so far on this. I hate to disappoint you, though, as I only have two endings to present to you - having a point-of-divergence at the tiebreaker would require me to effectively write four endings, not three, as Sugar vs Alejandro and Sugar vs Ella are rather different match-ups. In all, it would basically amount to be having to write almost an additional chapter, which I honestly just didn't want to do. TSWT is at it's end, and plenty of people including myself are itching to get on to the next season. Anyway, I do hop you enjoy the finale!

PizzaTheBomb: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed both the song and the condor-riding from Ella and Tyler. Based on a few reviews it definitely seems like one of the highlights of the episode. Anyway, I hope you enjoy how it all ends!

StarHeart Specials: Ehh, not quite - I was trying to have it be 'Planes, Trains, and...' to keep the condor bit a secret for those not looking directly at the chapter, but the site ate the ellipsis. That aside, I'm glad you enjoyed so much this season! All the things you mentioned are things I'm really happy I was able to pull off. I know the season has it's flaws, but overall I'm really happy and really proud about how it's all turned out. And as for the Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island cast - which, I remind you, was generated randomly rather than being hand-picked - is...amazing, in several ways. I had a blast introducing them in the first chapter, and I know everyone is gonna love who got shuffled onto the season.

StayOuttaMyShed: Ohoho, well, it's an interesting finale prediction at any rate though I won't comment on it any further. I'm glad you enjoyed the convenient hot dog stand, though; I wasn't sure exactly how to go about it - did I have them crash in a different place than in canon? Did I use the background farm? But eventually, I was just like '**** it, pan to the right, there's a hot dog stand down the road.' I think a lot of the humor of this series comes from its parallels and allusions to canon, so I'm glad I was able to make one of those even more absurd. I'm also glad you liked how Staci played her part, and I will admit than in retrospect I should have said 'tranqed' rather than 'drugged' to make it clearer that they were treating her like another animal and not, you know, just tying up a defenseless teenage girl.
That all said, I hope you enjoy the grand finale of the season!

VIPGuest: Well, I figured Ella vs Alejandro would be a better tiebreaker match than finale challenge. And as for the robot suit...you'll find out soon enough what, if anything, happens in that regard.

OMAC001: Sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to read on to find out who wins the tiebreaker. That said, I do hope you enjoy the finale.

mitchn: Thank you, it's been my pleasure to have written such a well-loved series with so many active reviewers. I hope you enjoy the season finale. And as for what I'll write after I've finished the Shuffled series...well, my plan right now is to write something I can actually publish and make money off of. I'm, uh, not doing well on the job front at the moment.

link9753: Wow. A part of me is honestly a little surprised to see that you've caught up in time for the finale, but I'm happy you were able to. Reading your reactions to each chapter of each season in turn has been a bit of a ride, but since there's far too much to respond to here I'll just say that I'm really happy that you've enjoyed the series so much. Also, that, uh, I kinda didn't even realize the thing with the finalist's gender balance. It's just not something I pay much attention to usually. That aside, I hope you enjoy the finale and I look forward to hearing more from you in the future!

I. M. Poik: Well, I'm glad you thought it was fine at least, and that you enjoyed Staci's expanded role - Ezekiel was almost criminally underused in canon, and I'm glad I was able to rectify that mistake. As for you cast review, well, it's a mixture of good and bad as expected. I'm happy you enjoyed what you were able to, even if ultimately things didn't pan out how you would have liked. Maybe you'll find some moments you like in the finale today, maybe you won't, but I'm fairly certain you'll enjoy the cast that will debut next week.

Joel Connell: I know, right? A year and a half, and we're (only? already?) done with the first three seasons of the Shuffled series. The last three are much shorter, of course, so we're already past the overall halfway point in terms of writing, but still. Next week the second generation cast will debut, and I'm super excited to see everyone's reaction to it. And, of course, to what the season six cast will be... But first, the season finale. I hope you enjoy!

tdikrazee: You haven't gotten caught up yet if your reviews are anything to go by, but I'm always glad to hear from a reader who loves my work so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the first four chapters of this season, and I hope that not only do you enjoy the rest, but that you enjoy the next few seasons as well.

Star Saber21: No worries about not reviewing sooner! I wouldn't say that Shawn was ever really that afraid of bears to begin with, just that he really didn't want to deal with them all the time. And as for last week's episode, I'm glad you enjoyed Ella and Tyler's grand condor-back entrance to the boats, as well as Tyler's strong fingers coming into play. I hope you enjoy how everything ends!

wifishark: I know. I'm proud to have gotten so far with the story, and given all of you such a fantastic ride. I hope you enjoy how everything ends!

Explorer of the Unknown: Thank you for the review, as always! I'm glad you enjoyed last week's song, it's one of my favorites from canon as well and I'm glad my take on it was pretty well-received. Doubly so for the condor twist, I'm almost amazed how many people mentioned liking it in their reviews and since I loved the idea of it so much I'm just really happy. As for the finalists, the helpers, the fate of the money, and the ultimate winner, you'll just have to read on and find out, but I hope you enjoy it regardless.

And at long last, the reviews for this week have been answered. The TVTropes page for this series, as usual, could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what gets added next.

Today is the finale folks! First up, we have:

Alejandro vs Ella in the tiebreaker of the century!

And whoever wins that will have to face down Sugar for the million dollars.

I hope you're all excited, folks! I know I am. So get ready for the final chapter of Total! Shuffled! World Tour!

- Fangren

Episode 26 – Hawaiian Punch

"Previously, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris said, the first clip of the recap showing a pan from the wrecked plane to Alejandro, Sugar, and the host himself. "The Final Three took off like bats out of Drumheller," Chris continued as the Arch-Villain was shown ducking behind a rock with a smirk, the Fairytale Princess and the Jock took off into the air with the help of a giant condor, and the Pageant Queen cautiously looking around the train's passenger car.

"Unfortunately, not only did Ella bring Tyler the plane-wrecker along for the ride," Chris added was shown as the two teens and condor were shown flying into the hailstorm, "but thanks to Alejandro and Sugar, Staci the were-pest was brought along too." Alejandro was shown releasing Staci from her bonds, then the footage skipped forward to show the wolfish girl and Sugar jumping onto horses in pursuit of Alejandro.

"Though at least they did make thing a little bit more interesting," the host conceded as Tyler was shown holding Ella and Alejandro's boats together with his fingers. "Good times!" the host added as Alejandro's boat hit a naval mine and was blown into the air.

"In the end, Sugar the Craptry Queen reached Hawaii first," he said as Sugar's triumphant arrival on the beach was shown, Staci still with her. "And Captain Ponytail and Princess Crybaby tied for second place," he added as Alejandro's boat was shown crashing into Ella's, sending both finalists and Tyler flying onto the beach at the same time. "Ouch!" Chris laughed as the Final Three reacted with shock at the tie.

"Who will Sugar face in the final challenge?" Chris asked, the recap ending with a flash to the beach, where the Final Three were lined up behind him. "And who will go home with a million dollars?!" he exclaimed in a dramatic emcee's voice. "Iiiiiit's finale time! Right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

You guys are on my mind!

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

I wanna be...famous!

I wanna live close to the sun!

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

I'll get there one day.

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

"Welcome to the live finale of Total Drama World Tour," Chris said, a triumphant tune already playing as the camera zoomed in on him, the finalists, and the two Aftermath hosts standing on the beach. "Moments ago, these two former lovebirds tied for second in a boat sandwich," he said, the shot zooming in on the finalists before he stepped over to join them. "Tasty!" he added, rubbing his stomach with delight.

"During the break, we sent them to vent in the confessional. Check it!" Chris told the camera.

xxx

Alejandro was first, and the new Hawaiian confessional seemed to be a roofless wooden outhouse set up somewhere in the jungle, based on the vines that were drooping into it.

"Losing to that oaf Sugar is bad enough," Alejandro griped, "but how will I explain to those at home that I tied with that childishly naïve Ella?" He groaned and covered his eyes, adding "My brother José will be compiling his insults already..."

xxx

Ella began her confessional by letting out a deep breath, her hands folded on her lap as she looked to the side. "Well, I've almost made it to the Final Two...unfortunately, I still have to get past Alejandro if I even want a shot at winning the million. He'll be tough to beat...but I think it's time to show him who's heart he tried to toy with."

xxx

"Oh yeah," Sugar said slyly, putting her arm around the charmer. "I forgot you had that brother of yours..."

"Yes, well today is the day I finally show him up," Alejandro said stiffly, shrugging off the pageant queen's arm.

"Yeah! You tell her, Alejandro!" Topher cheered, drawing attention to the stands just off to the side where most of the rest of the cast were seated, including Tyler and Staci. "Your team's rooting for you, buddy!" the host wannabe said, waving a small flag with the charmer's face on it.

"Uhh, what are they in teams for?" Sugar asked Chris, stepping towards him but shooting a skeptical look towards the gallery. "And why does mine look so pathetic?"

"The Peanut Gallery's playing a major role in choosing a winner," Chris explained, earning a cheer from those in the stand.

"Huh," Jo said with a sly smirk, "so are we voting for the winner or something? Interesting."

"A vote, huh?" Sugar said blankly. "Well, y'all know that when I said my team was pathetic I meant just in number, right?"

"That just means yer gonna lose, eh!" Ezekiel shouted.

"Yeah," Beardo chimed in, "time you and Al got what's comin' to ya!" Those supporting Ella began to murmur in agreement.

"We believe in you Ella!" Tyler said. "So kick their butts!" He raised his arms in excitement, but immediately winced in pain and lowered them again.

xxx

"Well," Sugar thought aloud in the confessional, "in this case it might be better for me if Al wins the tiebreaker. At least then I'll be able to fake-apologize to Ella and get her team's votes."

xxx

"But first," Chris said as the music turned tense, "we gotta break a tie. Sugar," he turned to the pageant queen, "you won the race to Hawaii, so, your reward is this advantage: you can select the tiebreaker yourself, or you can let Ella or Alejandro do it."

"Well, I shouldn't let either of them do it," Sugar said with a chuckle and a shrug, "and since I'm the most impartial I guess it's up to me!"

"I was hoping you'd say that," Chris said with an ominous laugh that caused Sugar to raise an eyebrow.

"Ta-da!" Chris said as the footage skipped forward to a close-up of a clear glass booth with some sort of yellowish bulb filled with small balls on top. "Each ball inside our challenge booth has a different tiebreaker written on it," he said, gesturing to the bulb as the shot pulled back to show the Final Three on the left and the Aftermath hosts behind the booth on the right. "So, take your pick!"

"Huh," Sugar said blankly, looking up at the bulb before shrugging, "I always wanted to try somethin' like this out." She followed the host's gesture into the booth, adding "I bet I'll grab somethin' real good."

The door was closed and the machine whirred to a start, challenge music playing as Sugar was pelted with the white golf balls of the challenge booth. "Oww! What the heck is wrong with this thing, this ain't a golf course! Oww!" Sugar said, wincing with every hit and causing the Peanut Gallery to laugh.

"Whoa, hey, I know for a fact that me and Dakota only put ping pong balls in there," Sam said nervously, the heiress nodding in agreement.

"I know," Chris told them, "and I'm not mad. Just disappointed. I had to dial it up to meet my usual high standards!"

"Oww! Oww, quit it!" Sugar said, still wincing with every hit. "Alright, enough of thi-" she said, tilting her head up as she tried to reach for the bottom of the bulb – the source of the balls. She was cut off abruptly, and suddenly put a hand to her throat. Her eyes starting to bulge, she barged her way out of the booth and began to gag.

"No ball no exit," Chris told her. "Back you go!"

Sugar stayed put, grabbing her throat as she coughed and choked. Eventually she spat up a ball; it ricocheted off Chris' chest and landed in a small pool of spit in the sand.

"Eeugh, watch where you're aiming," Chris cringed, taking out a handkerchief to wipe his clothes. "Dakota, you read it, wouldja?"

"Ewww," the heiress winced, crouching down to pick up the spit-covered golf ball in two fingers. "Umm...Sugar has selected the Traditional Hawaiian Fire Dance of...Death?" she announced, ominous music playing as Alejandro shot a confident look at a nervous Ella.

The same Hawaiian tune that had been used in the past couple of episodes was playing as the footage skipped ahead to Ella and Alejandro standing on opposite ends of a wooden platform in the ocean, each dressed in coconut bras and grass skirts and holding padded jousting sticks. Between them was Sugar, tied up tightly to a pole in the center of the platform.

"I question how traditional it is for a male warrior to wear a coconut bra," Alejandro commented, motioning to the odd piece of equipment.

"Who cares about tradition?" Sugar griped as the Hawaiian music cut out. "I'm stuck to a dang pole!"

Those in the gallery laughed. "Hah! Serves you right!" Scott taunted.

"Yeah, bein' in the Final Two does serve me right!" Sugar countered. "Y'all should be showin' me some respect, okay?"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Chris told her, the shot cutting to him and Chef on the beach – the hulking man in a floral-print skirt with a bow in his hand and a quiver of arrows on his back. "The first person to free Sugar wins the last spot in the Final Two," Chris announced, "and a shot at the million!"

"Ah, for the record," Alejandro spoke up, "if no one frees her, would that make Ella and I the Final Two?"

"Hey! Don't you even think of doin' that!" Sugar said in outrage.

"Won't work, I already checked," Chris answered.

"Good to hear," Alejandro smirked.

"Chef, would you do the honors?" Chris asked his assistant, the man drawing back two flaming arrows and releasing them with a twang. They struck a darkened patch on either side of the platform, just behind each competitor, which promptly burst into blazing fires that startled Ella and Alejandro.

"Oh, and stay outta the water," Chris added. "Starting...," Chef shot off another pair of arrows, these ones tipped with steaks, "now!" The arrows landed in the water where a pair of shark fins were already circling; one rose up and swallowed an arrow just as it plunked into the water.

"Ahh, another reminder why I'm glad I already won on this stupid show," Jo sighed with a broad smile as challenge music began to play.

The gallery began to cheer and holler as the camera zoomed in on the platform, Alejandro quickly taking the offense by swiping at Ella with his jousting stick. "Prepare to be defeated, chica!" he said, slamming his stick down hard against hers as she tried to block. She grunted and strained with the effort, and though she was able to push Alejandro's stick away she had already been forced onto one knee.

"What, are you still thinking that you can beat me?" Alejandro taunted. "Surely you realize that no matter how many times you tell yourself you can do it, I'm simply too much to handle. I mean, it's as clear as the water below us!"

He tried to sweep Ella off the platform, but she quickly rolled forward and got back to her feet. "Really? You know what I think is clear?" she asked him, ducking another swipe as she circled around him.

"Uhh, that you two gotta untie me?" Sugar replied as she watched them dance around each other.

"A lot of things," Ella continued, blocking another swipe from Alejandro but taking a step back to do it. "How I was a fool to ever think you were anything but a villain," she said as she sidestepped another swipe. "How I've made far too many terrible decisions this season," she continued, rolling around the charmer again so that she was almost back at her original position. "And yes, how you completely outclass me physically." Once again, she was forced down on one knee when she tried to block another of Alejandro's powerful strikes.

"But also," Ella continued, "that you aren't nearly as unbeatable as you're trying to make yourself out as." Once again, she rolled back out of the way of another sweep that would have knocked her off the platform, causing Alejandro to grunt in irritation. "Don't act like you didn't fall for Sugar's lies just like the rest of us," Ella said, getting back to her feet and scrambling towards the bound pageant queen. "Not to mention making the same mistake that I did of trusting her once her cover was blown."

"Uhh...," Sugar said, eying her rival who has still standing next to her, a hand behind the ropes. Sugar's eyes went wide as Ella quickly ducked, another swipe from an increasingly frustrated Alejandro just barely missing both girls. "Hey, watch it!" Sugar yelled.

"And remind me," Ella said as she blocked and dodged a flurry of weaker attacks from the fuming but silent arch-villain, "how many times did you lose because of your own overconfidence?"

"Oh, I won't deny that I've made my share of mistakes this season," Alejandro finally said, donning a dark smile as he forced the singer to her knees once more, keeping up the pressure so she couldn't roll away. "But not this time. You bore your heart and soul to me, Ella, in the name of a love I never shared. I'll admit that you've done well to last this long, but I know what you're capable of. Pretty soon," the camera zoomed in on Ella as she was forced down and back more and more towards the open fire on her side of the platform, "you'll give out. And I'll be done with you, just like I planned."

"Oh...really?" Ella said, struggling to keep away from the fire she was eying warily. "This is how you imagined things would end up back then? Just you pushing me into a...fire to get into the Final Two?" Her eyes narrowed as her head was forced closer and closer to the open flame. "What about the long, drawn-out break-up you told Dawn about? Was that a lie too? You really always wanted to do this?"

Alejandro's eyes went wide. "I...that..."

His moment of hesitation was all Ella needed. She slid her jousting stick forward against his, putting him just enough off balance for her to follow up by leaning forward and shoving her stick crosswise into his gut – knocking him back a couple staggered steps. Swiftly rolling to her knees as he recovered, she jabbed the padded end of her stick at his chin, knocking him a couple inches into the air.

He landed on the platform on his back, and Ella quickly ran over to Sugar. The camera angle switched to show her hands darting to the knot on the back, already partially undone, and seconds later the ropes slid off the pageant queen as the challenge music ended.

"It's about time!" Sugar griped, rubbing her left shoulder. "Those ropes were startin' to chafe."

Alejandro, still lying on his back, broke down into laughter. "Uhh, it wasn't that funny," Sugar told him.

"As though I'd laugh at that," Alejandro said, covering his eyes. "I'm just laughing at the sheer absurdity of this. Knocked out of the competition at the Final Three, again?! And by another deceptively strong young woman, no less."

The shot cut to the Peanut Gallery, focusing on Bridgette as Geoff elbowed her in the side, waggled his eyebrows, and whispered "He's talkin' about you, babe!" Bridgette smiled and shook her head in disbelief.

"Had you shown this side of you earlier in the competition," Alejandro said as Ella gave him a hand up, "perhaps I could have come to feel something more genuine for you..."

"I doubt it," Ella told him, "but you're really not my type anymore anyways."

Alejandro just laughed again, Sugar rolled her eyes, and someone in a hazmat suit appeared on the platform with a fire extinguisher. As they began putting out the flame on the fallen charmer's side, the former Final Three made their way to the edge of the platform to the general cheering of the unseen gallery.

The scene skipped forward to Ella (back in her usual clothing) and Sugar standing on the beach with Chris, the person in the hazmat suit clinging to the burning and sinking wreckage of the platform in the background.

"Now that we have our Final Two," Chris said with a broad smile, "it's my pleasure to announce the Peanut Gallery will not be voting for the winner."

"What?" Ella asked in shock and disappointment as Sugar let out a breath of relief and wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Wait," Tyler spoke up, his brow creased in confusion, "I thought we were supposed to be playing a major role?"

"Yup," Chris told him, "just not in a vote-y kinda way. Prepare to have your minds blown out by the most lethal challenge in Total Drama history!" he announced dramatically.

"Ella," he said as a shot of the Fairytale Princess smiling sweetly against a golden background appeared to a deep and blaring note, "versus Sugar," a shot of the Pageant Queen grinning darkly against a bluish background took over the screen as another dramatic note played, "versus the Volcano!" The shot changed to a distance shot of a volcano, another blaring note playing as it belched out a plume of smoke.

"Back in the day," the host said as the scene cut to him standing between the two finalists – Sugar on his left behind a light blue rug, Ella on his right behind a golden yellow rug; "human sacrifices were tossed into Kilauea volcano to appease the Gods. Sadly, the lawyers won't let me use real people as sacrifices. So! Ella and Sugar will have to make sacrifice stand-ins, using the island's most abundant resources."

The camera followed his point off-screen, landing on a pile of "Pineapples, and driftwood!"

"And to make it nice and symbolic," Chris continued as the shot cut back to him and the finalists, "you guys have to make dummies of each other to dump in the volcano. Now, you each get to pick two helpers."

"Yeah, ain't none of you better pick me, got that?" Scott immediately told them.

"Let's see...," Ella said, looking over the Gallery, "I'll choose Tyler, obviously..."

"Yeah!" the jock cheered, standing up and raising his arms in celebration, only to immediately wince in pain again and collapse back into his seat. "Uggh...sorry, I musta dislocated my shoulders or something holding the boats together."

"That's okay," she told him with a soft smile, "you've done your part already."

"In that case," Ezekiel spoke up, "I guess I'll take his place. But just because I know Tyler wants me too, eh," he explained, gesturing to the jock who was clasping his hands and looking at the homeschooler imploringly.

"Thank you," Ella told him. "And then...oh, how about you, DJ?" she pointed to the gentle giant, who raised his brow in surprise.

"Uhh, yeah, sure!" he said, getting up from the stands.

"Well," Sugar said, scratching her head as the focus moved to her, "I guess I'll pick Staci."

"I did agree to help you on the train," the wolfish girl said with a shrug and a toothy smile.

"And then...do you wanna help me out, Al?" Sugar asked her fallen rival.

"Actually," Alejandro said coolly, "I think I'll stay neutral for this."

"Right, you do that," Sugar said, trying to hide her growing nervousness as she looked back at the Gallery. "In that case, uhh...," she said, the camera panning across Peanut Gallery, all its members glaring at her except for the bound Scarlett. "Hey, do I have to pick two?" Sugar asked the host.

"Yup! So you're pretty much stuck with someone who hates you." Chris answered with a smile. "Fun, right?"

"Right...," Sugar said with a nervous chuckle. "In that case, uh, uhh, how 'bout Sam?" she quickly pointed behind the host to where the gamer and heiress were standing.

"Wait, is that even allowed?" Sam asked. "I mean, technically I'm a host!"

"Not while I'm around," Chris grinned, causing Sam to hang his head and groan.

"Okay! We have our helpers!" Chris said as the scene flashed back to the two colored rugs; Ella by the golden yellow with Ezekiel and DJ, Sugar by the light blue with Staci and a very reluctant-looking Sam. "Now, Ella and Sugar, you have to stay on your mats and direct your helpers to bring you logs, driftwood, and pineapples that resemble parts of your opponent. And to make things a little more rhyme-y~!" He added with an excited smile, making jazz hands as the all-to-familiar dings sounded and the musical note icon appeared on-screen.

~/~

[A reverent, almost chanted riff opened as Ezekiel and DJ looked up and back, and the colors of the scene shifted to something more animated – the two boys in golden yellow, against a background of reddish-pink flowers. The shot changed so that it seemed to be looking up at a golden yellow volcano as it erupted against a golden yellow version of the floral background, and a golden yellow and almost larger-than-life Ella emerged from its peak wearing a shorter version of her blouse and with a lei on her head.]

"Okay boys, please head straight; that's it, you're doing gre~eat!"

[She sang encouragingly as a hip-hop tune began; she waved her arms in wide, sweeping motions, calling up a wind that the camera followed down to Ezekiel and DJ. It blew behind them, hurrying them along a deep red ground set against a deep green floral background.]

"If you, would be, so kind; grab the widest hips you can fi~ind!"

[Her helpers were blown to a titanic pile of neatly-stacked golden yellow logs, and the shot cut back to Ella clasping her hands and looking down at them imploringly against the same green background. The shot panned to the right to a light blue volcano as it, too, erupted; a light blue Sugar emerged from it, dressed as usual but with a laurel wreath on her head.]

"Hurry up, don't be slow! All of her's a stick, I know!"

[Sugar sang commandingly, snapping her fingers to make an almost cartoonish thunderbolt appear in her hands, casting her opponent a disparaging glance then throwing the bolt over her head down at the light blue Staci and Sam below. They were forced to flee before the bolt struck where they'd been loitering, with Staci getting the lead on all fours.]

"Start off with scraw-ny legs; all bacon and no e~eggs!"

[The camera continued to follow Sam and Staci as they ran past DJ, who was securing a rope to a peg on the side of a large hunk of wood. He briefly turned his head to watch them, then turned back with a smile and tugged the rope extending up off-screen.]

"I'm gonna win it! (Yeah!) And you can't face it! (No!) I'm right here in it! (Yeah!) But you disgrace it! (Oh!)"

[The two girls sang, together even with the chanted words in the background. As they dueled the shot moved from Ella, her hands alternately sending gusts of wind at her helpers, to Sugar, throwing bolt after bolt of lightning, to both as they turned to one another and sent their god-like abilities at each other, resulting in an explosion of green smoke that took over the scene.]

"Is this butt, flat enough?"

[Staci called out, the smoke dissipating into her close-up before the shot zoomed out to show her standing on a pale gray scaffold next to another large chunk of wood suspended by a rope tied to a peg.

"Uh-huh!" Sugar replied from off-screen.

"O~oh!" Ella sang, the camera panning up to a higher level of the scaffold where Ezekiel was standing next to a rather conical piece of wood, also suspended point-down on a rope.

"Hey, are these arms thick enough?" he asked, receiving a light blue thunderbolt for his trouble.]

"Yo! Now it's Sugar versus Ella, see, Zeke's steppin' up cause she's the enemy;"

[The blue smoke cleared to show the homeschooler in shades with his golden 'Z' around his neck and a mic in his hand; the beat changed slightly as he began to rap from a small pillar of rock between the two girls. The camera rotated about him as he gestured over his shoulder first at the Pageant Queen, then at the Singing Princess, and back to the Pageant Queen as he made what was almost a hand-sign then jabbed a thumb back at Sugar.]

"Gonna show her that we can't forgive her play; time the Princess showed the world that she can sla~ay!"

[The camera zoomed in as he shook his head solemnly for a couple seconds, then zoomed back out as he gestured to Ella, who crossed her arms and smirked confidently.]

"Thank you both, now let's see; how 'bout some, tiny feet?"

[Ella continued in a slightly sweet, slightly thoughtful tone as Ezekiel, now riding atop another cone-like piece of wood as it was carried along by the attached rope, met up with DJ who was in a similar position. The two boys low-fived, and the shot cut back to Ella.]

"Oh right, and a head like so; to match her ego."

[Ella sang, holding her hands in front of her wide enough to fit a watermelon. She then quickly clasped her hands together and shot an almost taunting smile at Sugar.]

"Go and grab a couple twigs! Arms like hers couldn't lift a pig!"

[Sugar retorted, leaning menacingly downwards and reaching out to her two tiny followers. Staci quickly ran away but Sam, trembling nervously, was quickly grabbed by the god-like Sugar.]

"And don't, forget, the chest; the size of a bird ne~est!"

[She held the gamer close to her peering eye and pinched her fingers to indicate something small, though with the size difference it still ended up being about half of Sam's size. She promptly dropped the gamer to the ground.]

"I'm gonna win it! (Yeah!) And you can't face it! (No!) I'm right here in it! (Yeah!) But you disgrace it! (Oh!)"

[The two girls repeated, once again sending their wind and lightning towards their respective helpers before turning their god-like powers on each other.]

"Yah, these arms are unreal! Just don't forget, our deal!"

[Staci sang smugly, the smoke dissipating to show her on the scaffold once more next to a long, slender, and surprisingly arm-like piece of wood. The shot zoomed out to show it already affixed to her team's effigy – currently a small but properly-curved piece for the chest, a slightly bulkier piece for the waist, and two slender legs; all pieces were connected by the shorter wooden pegs the ropes had been tied to. On the other side of the scaffold was the effigy Ella's team had created – two wide, bulky pieces for the chest and waist, the two cone-like arms and a slightly larger cone-like leg; the effigy was kept upright by a rope tied around the short peg where the neck would be.

As Staci continued her line, she sent a noticeably stern look up towards Sugar.]

"Yeah, I know what I said; now hurry up with that head!"

[Sugar told her, looking almost nervous before the shot cut to Sam trying to push a massive light blue pineapple across the ground.]

"I'm gonna win it! (Yeah!) And you can't face it! (No!) I'm right here in it! (Yeah!) But you disgrace it! (Oh!)"

[The girls repeated a third time, sending their wind and lightning towards their helpers at a slightly faster pace than before. And still, they ended up turning their god-like powers towards one another to cause another green explosion.]

"I'm gonna cash it! (Yeah!) You'll never get it! (No!) You should trash it! (Yeah!)"

[They continued as the smoke dissipated to reveal DJ and Ezekiel carrying their own massive golden yellow pineapple, before gaping in shock as Staci managed to slot her team's head down in its proper place.]

"'Cause I just did i~it!"

[Sugar sang triumphantly, the shot pulling back to show Staci cheering triumphantly from the effigy's shoulder, Sam on the other side wiping the sweat from his brow. The scene finally cut to reality as the song ended, Sugar smiling smugly with Staci and Sam beside her, only the former of her two helpers looking at all enthused.]

~/~

"And Sugar takes the lead!" Chris announced, a triumphant tune playing over a shot of Ella hanging her head in disappointment. "Next step, haul your sacrifice to the top of Kilauea and toss her into the volcano, like so!"

The shot quick-panned away from the host all the way up to the crater where the person in the hazmat suit tossed a crash test dummy into the magma below. This, however, caused molten rock to splash back up, partially coating the person in the hazmat suit. They screamed in pain as fire engulfed them, and ran away scorched.

"Yeah," Chris said as the shot cut back to him, "watch out for the back-splash. We'll be right back with all the hardcore lava-riffic sizzling finale action," he told the camera, "here! On Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with a shot of the Final Two holding the effigies their helpers had made as Chef wheeled the person formerly in a hazmat suit by in a wheelchair, their suit traded in for a full body cast.

"Excuse me," Ella spoke up, "but are we actually going to throw our dummies into an active volcano without safety equipment? Because that sounds more lethal than usual."

"As the saying goes, 'No excruciating pain, no million dollar gain'," Chris told her, pulling out a brief case as a reminder then promptly tossing it away. "To help you get those dummies to the top of the volcano, you can use the rewards your teams earned on your behalf in the Aftermath Lava Surfing challenge," he continued.

"Alejandro won a wheelbarrow, too bad he's out," he said, the camera panning over as the wheelbarrow rolled down the base of the volcano's slope near the host. "But Ella gets a stroller," the stroller rolled down next to the wheelbarrow, "and Sugar gets diddly-squat."

"Aww, you gotta be kiddin' me!" the pageant queen said in disbelief, her slender and small-headed dummy held easily over her shoulder. "I demand a recount."

"But," Chris said, "since you did win the effigy challenge, you still get a twenty-second head start. So, get goin'!"

"Well, at least this dummy's light," Sugar said, running off with the wooden statue in her arms as a tense tune began playing. "Advantage: Sugar!"

Ella, meanwhile, propped her larger dummy on her back, hooking her arms around its to drag it forward along the ground.

"You sure I can't have that thing?" Sugar asked Chris as she came up to the foot of the volcano, running in place as she pointed to the unclaimed wheelbarrow.

"I'm sure," Chris told her.

"Aww, biscuits," Sugar grumbled, snapping her fingers and running off.

Chris watched her go with his usual bland smile, then turned to watch Ella as she walked up. "Well, at least I have something to help carry this thing," the singer said.

"Uhh, yeah, sure," Chris said, watching Ella drag her Sugar-sized effigy up to the stroller, then lay it gently on top. It seemed stable, but only for a second before the stroller collapsed under the dummy's weight. "Good luck with that!" Chris laughed, earning an annoyed sigh from Ella as she moved to pick the effigy back up.

The music leveled off somewhat as the scene cut to Sugar running up the mountainside path at a decent rate. "Well, it's been a long time comin'," she told herself, "but I think I finally got this here pageant in the bag. Pretty soon I'm gonna be a millionaire!"

She paused when she heard the sound of humming approaching from behind, and looked back with a scowl. The camera panned down to Ella, still carrying her effigy along on her back but humming and singing in a steady, even rhythm that matched her pace. "Ev-er..on-ward..not much..lon-ger.."

"Aww, havin' trouble are ya?" Sugar called out mockingly. "Well, maybe if you try yer hardest, you can get to the top in time to see me get handed my prize money. But I doubt it!" she laughed, running off again.

The path soon leveled off, and the background music took an ominous turn as she passed a few bushes, then saw what was ahead and frantically skidded to a halt. She stopped right on the edge of a bubbling lava pool, and quickly stood her effigy up beside her. "What in the name of pork gravy is this?" she asked, the camera getting an overhead shot of the lava right before it flared up, forcing Sugar to dive away with her rather flammable dummy.

Chris chuckled off-screen, and with a dramatic musical twist the camera zoomed out to show him and Chef standing on the other side of the lava lake. "Yoo hoo, over he~ere!" he called in a light and airy voice, waving to the pageant queen. A series of stepping stones spanned the gap between the two sides, but hanging over it from a large wooden frame were several heavy objects – from the left to right were a log, a grand piano, a safe, a simple weight, a purple armchair, a metal cage, and a bomb. The ropes holding the objects in the air ran along the framework and down to a structure near Chris and Chef, where each individual rope was tied around a long log.

"Check out the look on her face," the host told his assistant as the camera zoomed in on them.

"Priceless," Chef smirked as the two men high-fived.

"Ev-er..on-ward..not much..lon-ger.." Ella repeated as she finally arrived at the other end of the lava pool, stopping when she saw it. "Oh my..." she said in awed disbelief.

"The only way to the top of the volcano," Chris said as the camera panned across a close-up of the stepping stones, "is past this river of lava," he pointed down at the bubbling rock as the camera reached him again. "So I'd say the two of you are about even again," he added, Sugar scowling as she and Ella stood by with their respective dummies.

"All you have to do is hop across these stepping stones," the host continued, moving over closer to the end of the path. "Easy-peasy, hot and cheesy!" he said as the lava flared up again. "Buu~uut," he added impishly as the camera panned across the hanging objects, "we've added a few booby traps to, that's right!"

"Make things more interesting," the two girls finished in annoyed resignation.

"Chef," the host turned to his assistant, "a booby demo, if you please!"

"Gladly," Chef replied with a sinister smirk, taking out a machete then turning around and chopping the first rope. The freed end quickly slid back through the wooden frame, and the log dropped onto the first stepping stone, broke, and fell into the lava with a burst of flame and a splatter of molten rock. Ella and Sugar gasped in surprise.

"Yeah, you really don't want to get hit by those," Chris told them. "Your helpers can either keep them secure," he continued, turning around and motioning to the two pairs that were standing by the tied-up ropes, "or send them falling. It's your call. Aaaand, go!"

Sugar got moving first, picking up her smaller dummy and hopping to the first stepping stone. Ella lagged behind, moving to get her heavier dummy situated on her back before pausing, rubbing her chin in thought, then standing up straight with a snap for her fingers. With a smile and a hum she grabbed her dummy by the arms, and began to dance and twirl with it.

"Hah! What do you think you're gonna do, dance yer way across?" Sugar looked back and laughed, still hopping from stone to stone.

"As a matter of fact," Ella said calmly, "yes." She twirled harder and harder, picking up enough speed to swing her dummy onto the first stepping stone, then use the momentum to swing herself onto the second. As she kept going and swung her dummy to the third stone, Sugar's brow shot up in surprise, then back down in annoyance.

"Okay helpers, time to help!" she commanded, and the shot cut over to Ezekiel, DJ, Staci, and Sam on the far side of the river.

"Like, finally!" Staci said, grabbing for one of the two machetes that were stuck in the log the ropes were tied to.

"Yo, we gotta stop her!" Ezekiel told DJ, and the two boys darted forward to grab their wolfish opponent.

As the three struggled, Staci looked back at Sam. "Hey, are you gonna help me or what?"

"I don't know, I'm feeling conflicted," the gamer admitted. "On one hand I wanna do my duty as a professional, but it doesn't feel right being on Sugar's team. I usually root for the underdog, and either way Sugar's just so unlikeable."

"Ya got that right, eh," Ezekiel said as he and DJ continued to hold back Staci. "I don't get why you're even rooting for her," he told Staci, "other than not likin' Ella 'cause of Tyler."

"Oh, well," the wolfish girl blushed, "she said on the train that if I helped her win she'd be super grateful and give me some of the prize money."

"And you believed her?" Sam asked. "Even though she's ended up backstabbing pretty much everyone who's tried to work with her this season?"

"What?" Staci asked, her ears perking up in confusion.

"Hey, are you two gonna help me or what?" Sugar shouted, drawing the attention of the four and the camera back to the stepping stones. The pageant queen was still in the lead, but just barely, as Ella was still twirling from one stone to the next with her dummy – albeit more slowly and less confidently than she had before.

"Even if we do," Sam told his partner, "she might try to get out of your agreement."

Staci bit her lip uncertainly for a moment, then narrowed her eyes and growled ferociously at DJ. The gentle giant squealed in fear, drawing back just enough for Staci to barge past him and Ezekiel and chop one of the ropes. The shot cut to the stepping stones just as the simple weight crashed down on the stone that Ella had just been about to swing her dummy onto, destroying the rock and forcing the singer to pull her effigy back next to her.

"Yah, she might double-cross me," Staci told the boys at the other end of the lava, "but I know I won't get anything from helping Ella."

"Yeah!" Sugar cheered as she landed on the third to last stone. "Take that!" she shot back at her opponent.

"I don't suppose one of you could slow her down for me? Please?" Ella asked, now struggling to hop from one stone to the next with her effigy on her back again.

"I got this, eh!" Ezekiel said, quickly standing up, grabbing the other machete stuck in the log, and chopping another rope before Staci could stop him.

It caused the cage to crash down onto on top of Ella, trapping her and her dummy.

"Oops," Ezekiel said sheepishly. "These ropes aren't labeled, eh."

"Hah, yeah," Chris said, wiping a tear from his eye as he stood nearby with Chef. "I was hoping that would come up. Which ropes belong to which teams anyway?"

"No idea," Chef answered with an impish shrug, causing both men to laugh even harder.

Sugar was laughing as well as she hopped onto solid ground again, a darkly triumphant tune in the background. "Looks like you somehow havin' more support than me didn't matter!" Sugar taunted, running off with her dummy in her arms and Staci behind her.

"Sorry, guys, I gotta go," Sam told DJ and Ezekiel. "And don't forget about the ineapples-pay," he added in a whisper, watching Chris and Chef walk past in the background.

"Right," DJ nodded.

The gamer ran off, and Ezekiel and DJ ran over to the edge of the lava river. "C'mon, eh! You gotta keep going! We're counting on you to beat her!"

"I know," Ella said, ramming against the side of her cage to no effect, "I'm trying." She backed up, then grabbed her dummy and ran with it against the cage, finally tipping it onto its side. The top of it fell off as it hit solid ground, and Ezekiel and DJ quickly pulled Ella and her effigy out just before a jet of fire flared through the bars of the cage.

"Thank you," Ella told her helpers as they put her and the dummy on their feet. "I just hope I can catch up with her. Maybe I can try to distract her somehow...," she said, getting the effigy onto her back. She managed to run off at a surprisingly decent pace, and the camera lingered on DJ and Ezekiel as they shared a serious nod.

The scene flashed to Sugar, who was breathing heavily as she ran up the volcano's path with Staci a little ways ahead of her and Sam a little ways behind.

"Am I...," Sugar panted, "am I there yet?"

"Almost," Staci said. "Just a little bit more, then you can totally throw your dummy into the volcano and win!"

"Uh, about that," Sam spoke up hesitantly, causing Sugar to skid to a halt and glare at him.

"What, are you gonna try and stop me too?" she asked. "I thought I'd be fine pickin' a helper that wouldn't have a grudge against me, but I guess I misjudged you."

"Whoa, hold on," Sam said, waving his hands defensively. "I just wanted to warn you about the pineapple."

"The what now?" Sugar asked, raising an eyebrow and sharing a skeptical look with Staci.

"What about the pineapple?" Ella echoed, the scene cutting to her trudging along at a steady pace with DJ and Ezekiel by her side.

"This is gonna sound weird," DJ told her, "but you can't throw that pineapple into the volcano."

"Yeah," Ezekiel chimed in, "unless you want it to erupt, eh."

"Erupt?!" Ella repeated in alarm.

"Yup," DJ told her. "Don't know how it works, and I don't think I want to, but what I do know is that Dawn saw some kinda bad omen, and after a bit of research Shawn figured out the connection."

"So...I'll take the head off before I throw the rest of the dummy in, but will that still count for the challenge?" Ella asked.

The boys shrugged. "I think it probably will if Sugar takes her off too, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Hold on a minute," Sugar said skeptically as the scene cut back to her, Staci, and Sam standing on the sloping path up the volcano, "you want me to waste my time takin' the dummy head off, probably makin' the whole thing not count, in order to keep the volcano from blowin' up and buryin' all us in lava?"

"Uhh, yeah, pretty much," Sam said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Sugar stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing to Staci's surprise. "Sorry, but I wasn't born yesterday. I can tell a bag of manure when I see one, and I see one."

"I'm telling the truth!" Sam pleaded as Staci turned her head to him. "If you throw the pineapple into the volcano-"

"Then I will win this competition, once and for all!" Sugar countered sternly, Staci looking back to her. "I have done so much work gettin' this far, and overcome so many odds, and I am not gonna be stopped by some made-up volcano story from a bunch of people who can't be bothered to lose with grace and dignity."

"But-" Sam tried to say.

"No buts!" Sugar scolded. "I can't say I get why y'all can't just accept that I deserve to win this, but if you aren't gonna help me then fine. I didn't need any helpers to begin with, and you weren't doin' nothin' anyway."

"Wait, you just meant him right?" Staci asked with a troubled expression.

It was then that Ella, DJ, and Ezekiel passed by, the singer breathing heavily with the dummy on her back. "Yeah! You can do it!" DJ cheered.

"See you at the top, eh!" Ezekiel taunted his former friend, who scowled.

"Aww, now look what you made me do!" she snapped at Sam. "I gotta hurry up and get movin'!" she said before chasing after her rival once more, leaving Sam and Staci behind.

"Hey, you believe me about the volcano thing, right?" Sam asked the wolfish girl. Staci looked at him uncertainly for a moment, then turned and ran off after Sugar as a few deep, ominous notes played.

The ominous music continued even as the scene changed to a long-distance upward shot of the volcano, soon cutting to the top as the music shifted to something more tedious and rattling. The camera panned across the other non-competitors, gathered in a sweaty and sweltering mass on the rim of the volcano's crater.

An upward pan of Chris holding the million-dollar suitcase revealed him standing happily in a cool breeze, the shot zooming out to show it being caused by a giant electric fan blowing air over a large ice cube being held on an intern's back. Several more ice cubes were stacked around the area, and were already beginning to melt.

"So...," the host said to Chef, the hulking man standing beside him, "know of any season three wrap parties?"

"Not really," Chef answered in an odd tone, averting his gaze and walking away whistling in a very suspicious manner.

Chris frowned at him, but his expression quickly changed to excitement as he looked out over the edge of the volcano. "And here they come!" he announced, a tense tune playing as Ella and Sugar were shown racing up the path with their dummies; DJ, Ezekiel, Staci, and Sam following behind them.

The shot cut to the edge of the crater as the two dummies were thrown up first, followed by the two girls climbing up side-by-side. Each was breathing hard, and just catching their dummies was enough to cause both to fall over onto their stomachs with the effigies in front of them.

"Gotta...get this...off...," Ella said, quickly scrambling forward along the ground to grab her dummy's pineapple head.

"Hah!" Sugar laughed tiredly. "Yer loss!" She dragged herself forward to her own dummy, and got to her feet.

"Wait," Ella said, grabbing onto Sugar's ankle with her free hand before the pageant queen could take a step. "Do you really think it's worth it?" she asked. "Hurting so many people just so you can win?"

Sugar smiled down at her in disbelief. "Listen here, Ella," she told her, "I guess you don't know this, but in pageants you gotta be ruthless if you wanna win. Do whatever you can to make yourself look good and the other girls look bad, otherwise you'll be lucky to get on-stage with your dress in one piece and your talent un-sabotaged. Anything goes if it gets you to victory!"

"But this isn't a pageant, though," Ella said, grunting in effort as she finally squeezed the fat pineapple head off her dummy with one arm.

"It's close enough," Sugar shrugged, the camera briefly moving closer to the ground to show the four helpers poking their heads up over the outer edge of the crater. "I guess I can't say it's the only way to win Total Drama, but it's the way I'm best at and it's worked swell so far! So who cares if I broke some promises and hurt some people's feelins' along the way? It ain't like I owe anybody anything. I'm sure they'll be fine." Tense music began to build as the camera briefly moved closer to the ground as Ezekiel, DJ, and Sam looked at Staci, the wolfish girl's brow shooting up at her ally's remark. "And anyways it won't even matter since I'll be done with this show once I have my million!"

"In that case, I'll make sure you never get it!" Ella said sharply as the music spiked dramatically, suddenly getting to one knee and pulling Sugar's leg out from under her. The pageant queen slammed to the ground with a yelp, and Ella ran over her with the headless effigy in the fallen girl's image dragging behind.

With a heave of effort Ella threw the sacrifice into Kilauea, earning a victorious piece of music that was sadly short-lived.

"Yeah," Chris interrupted with an unamused look on his face, "hate to break it to you, but it only counts if the entire dummy gets sacrificed. You still gotta throw the pineapple in too if you wanna win, meaning Sugar's still in this."

Ella gasped and looked back as dramatic music resumed. "Alright!" Sugar cheered in triumph, getting back onto her feet, and reaching for her own sacrifice.

"Quick, we gotta get that pineapple from her!" Sam said, and he, DJ, and Ezekiel hauled themselves up to the top of the crater and charged.

"Sorry boys," Sugar taunted as she turned around, "but you can't stop me now!"

"Yes we can!" Ella countered, tackling her from the front. It was barely enough to force Sugar back a step, but the singer held on firm long enough for Ezekiel to catch up and grab onto the head of the Ella-shaped effigy. DJ grabbed onto him and Sam grabbed onto DJ, and the three boys pulled.

"You. Won't. Stop me!" Sugar yelled, trying to push against both Ella while pulling her dummy away from the boys – and in doing so, caused the neck peg to come out of the pineapple.

With that bit of resistance gone Sugar and the wooden body of her dummy toppled forward onto Ella, and the three boys fell backward. The impact caused the pineapple to fly out of Ezekiel's hands, and the background music briefly went silent as it landed, entirely in one piece, next to Ella's own discarded dummy-head.

Staci, still standing at the outer edge of the crater, looked between both with wide eyes.

"Aww, you gotta be kiddin' me!" Sugar said, standing back up and tossing her dummy's body backward into the volcano, where it burnt up with a hiss off-screen. "Now I gotta get that, too..."

"Not if I get there first!" Ella said, getting back on her feet and running forward. The music quickly increased its pace as Sugar ran off as well, eyes wide with panic.

"Staci! Quick! Gimme the pineapple!" she called out to her helper.

"No! She'll just double-cross you like everyone else!" Ezekiel countered as the two girls passed him, DJ, and Sam.

"It's not worth it!" Sam added.

The shot cut to Staci, looking nervously between the two fruits she was standing between. A close-up caught her gulping, then bending down and picking the two fruits up – Sugar's smaller pineapple in her left hand, Ella's larger pineapple in her right.

The point-of-view shifted to Staci's to show the two finalists running towards her, Sugar on the left and Ella on the right. The camera looked down at the pineapple in each hand, then back up at Sugar and Ella.

"I...I'm sorry, everyone," she said sorrowfully as the shot changed back to a head-on perspective, "but I have to take the risk." She quickly tossed the pageant queen her pineapple, and Sugar promptly grinned, turned around, and threw it over her head towards the lava.

"No...!" Ella gasped in growing dread, watching the fruit fly towards fiery doom.

DJ, Sam, and Ezekiel gasped as well, the rest of the Peanut Gallery held their breaths, and Chris McLean smiled as each was shown watching the pineapple arc into the crater.

It plopped into the lava unceremoniously, and aside from a small splash-back that the Peanut Gallery quickly dodged nothing happened.

"Yahoo!" Sugar cheered as triumphant music began to play, pumping her fists and jumping up and down with glee. "I did it! I won!"

"That you did," Chris told her. "Congratulations, Sugar, on becoming the winner of Total Drama World Tour!" He held up the million dollar briefcase, and Ella was shown hanging her head sadly.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Sugar sniffed, tears welling up in her eyes as she zipped over to the host and her prize money. "I don't know what to say!" She promptly pulled a piece of paper out of her blouse, unfolded it, and cleared her throat.

"I am so proud to be crowned the winner of this reality competition," she read off in a rather stilted fashion. "And I am truly honored to accept the entire million dollar prize for myself, and only myself."

"Like, what?" Staci interrupted, walking up to the winner and the host, startling the former and mildly amusing the latter. "What about the share you promised me for helping you? Yah, I'm the only reason you were even able to sacrifice the pineapple!"

"Ohh, you didn't throw any pineapples into the volcano, did you?" an unfamiliar voice asked, the camera panning right a little ways just as two elderly Hawaiian men in flowery skirts and leis walked up.

"Yeah, don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?" the other asked.

"How should I know?" Chris answered in annoyance.

"Because we told you as soon as we found out!" Shawn yelled at him, the rest of the peanut Gallery looking quite angry.

"But you just ignored us and put us all in danger!" Dawn added.

"Oh yeah," Chris said blankly. "I thought that was just, like, one of those things used to trick tourists."

"But there are signs everywhere!" a third old Hawaiian man spoke up, most of the Gallery parting to show him standing next to a wooden sign with a crossed-out pineapple on it. "See?" he added, taking a couple steps over to Blaineley, still bound in her hand truck, and kicking her over to reveal another sign behind her.

It was then that the volcano shook and rumbled, a long-distance shot of it showing a few reddish streaks forming along the outer edge of the crater.

"Well crap," Chris muttered. "Nice going, Staci, your pineapple-throwing totally doomed us! I never shoulda let a screw-up freak like you back on the show."

"Wh-what?" Staci said, her long ears and tail drooping in confusion.

"Yeah, this is all your fault!" Sugar chimed in, grabbing the million-dollar suitcase from Chris. "You can forget about gettin' any of my prize money, the deal's off!"

The music blared ominously as Staci's brow creased with growing rage. "Oh yah, is that so?" she told the host and winner, walking towards them. "Well I'm not gonna take any of that lying down!" The music flared as she snarled and pounced, first at Chris to knock him on his back and then towards Sugar to grab the briefcase full of money.

Shots of Chris, Chef, Ella, the helpers, and the Peanut Gallery all gaping in shock were interspersed with clips of Staci and Sugar wrestling for the million-dollar case, drawing closer and closer to the edge of the crater. Eventually, the case slipped out of both their grasps, and fell towards the lava accompanied by a hollow, almost chanted, downward-sliding note.

"NOOOOO~!" Sugar cried in shock and horror.

Once it had disappeared into the bubbling molten rock, the perspective inverted to show Chris, Sugar, and Staci looking over the lip of the crater in shock.

"Whoa," Chris said as the volcano began to shake again, "didn't see that one coming. Anywho," he chuckled before taking a deep breath and yelling "RRRUUUUNNNNNN!"

The music abruptly became tenser than ever as the volcano was shown from a distance again, the smoke billowing from the top turning into a full-blown eruption of fire.

Back at the top, the three Hawaiian men went running back towards the path down, followed by Chef, the intern who'd been carrying the ice, Chris, Staci, Ella, and the three former helpers.

"Wait," Sugar said in panic as she watched the host flee, stepping away from the edge of the crater, "what about my prize money? I-I won! I gotta get whats comin' to me!"

She was promptly trampled by the rest of the cast as they fled for their lives as well, Scarlett and Blaineley taking up the rear in their unmanned hand trucks. Sugar recovered from it just in time to gasp in fear as lava began to cascade out of the crater towards her, quickly covering the screen.

It parted as the scene cut to the base of the volcano, the former contestants minus Sugar running and screaming across the beach as flaming rocks rained down from above.

"See you next season I guess," Chris said with an odd sort of calmness as the camera cut to him, a strangely solemn tune playing in the background as fire continued to fall. "Maybe with a whole new cast, 'cause let's face it – these guys are probably gonna melt," he laughed, pointing a thumb in the direction the cast had fled.

"Until next time," the host said, his voiced strained as the scene cut to him standing up in front of the sky, an ominous chanting note punctuating the music. "I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out to reveal that him and Chef were now aboard the old Boat of Losers, but the host's outtro was interrupted by a sudden shriek. Both men looked up, and the music peaked dramatically as Sugar, now bald and entirely on fire, was shown rocketing towards the boat like just another flaming rock.

Chris and Chef ducked to either side as she landed, punching a hole in the ship with her crash. The Boat of Losers began to sink with a hollow sound, and most of the rest of the cast – revealed to be treading water nearby – laughed as the two adults went under.

Their mirth was short-lived, however, and quickly turned to terror and they swam away screaming as large flaming rocks started raining down upon them once again, and the footage cut to static.

[[YES, THAT IS WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF THIS ORDEAL]]

[[BUT IN TRUTH, A DIF'RENT WIN SHOULD BE CONSIDERED REAL]]

"Staci! Quick! Gimme the pineapple!" Sugar called out to her helper.

"No! She'll just double-cross you like everyone else!" Ezekiel countered as the two finalists passed him, DJ, and Sam.

"It's not worth it!" Sam added.

The shot cut to Staci, looking nervously between the two fruits she was now standing between. A close-up caught her gulping, then bending down and picking the two fruits up – Sugar's smaller pineapple in her left hand, Ella's larger pineapple in her right.

The point-of-view shifted to Staci's to show the two girls running towards her, Sugar on the left and Ella on the right. Staci looked down at the pineapple in each hand, then back up at Sugar and Ella.

"I...I'm sorry, Sugar," she said sorrowfully, "I can't do it. I can't take the risk!" She closed her eyes and raised the two pineapples, the smaller in her left hand and the larger in her right, and rotated them so she could smash them together.

"Do it!" Ella told the wolfish girl, stopping in her tracks.

"No!" Sugar countered angrily as she continued running, tackling Staci to the ground before she could destroy the fruits. The pineapples dropped safely, and Sugar quickly stopped wrestling her former ally in order to turn around, pick up the nearest one, and throw it over her head towards the volcano.

"No...!" Ella gasped in growing dread, watching the large fruit fly towards fiery doom.

DJ, Sam, and Ezekiel gasped as well, the rest of the Peanut Gallery held their breaths, and Chris McLean smiled as each was shown watching the larger pineapple arc into the crater.

It plopped into the lava unceremoniously, and aside from a small splash-back that the Peanut Gallery quickly dodged nothing happened.

"Yahoo!" Sugar cheered, pumping her fists and jumping up and down with glee. "I did it! I won!"

"Nice throw!" Chris told her. "Too bad that wasn't the head of your dummy!" He pointed back at the ground, and Sugar looked down to see the smaller pineapple – from the Ella-shaped effigy Sugar's team had built – sitting there. "In other words," Chris grinned, "Ella wins!"

"I win?" Ella said in shock and growing excitement as victorious music welled up in the background once again. "I win!" the singer repeated, smiling at the realization. "I win, I win, I win!" she jumped up and down and clapped as she squealed in excitement.

"Yeah! I knew you could do it!" Tyler cheered from the Gallery.

Beside him, Alejandro chuckled softly. "Congratulations on triumphing despite such terrible odds," he added.

"Looks like the good guys win again, huh?" Bridgette told him with a sly smile that made him shake his head and chuckle a little more.

"Thank you, everyone," Ella said, now standing next to Chris. "I couldn't have done it without nearly all of your help and support – that means you too, Staci," she added, the camera briefly cutting back to the wolfish girl perking up. "You did the right thing in trying to destroy...the...pineapples..." She trailed off into a troubled frown as she spoke.

"Oh, it was nothing," Staci said, rubbing her the back of her neck and grinning and blushing, her tail wagging vigorously. "Yah, anyone would have done the same thing."

"And because of that, Ella," Chris announced with a wide smile, "you are now the winner of Total Drama World Tour!" He presented the suitcase to her...and the triumphant music ground to a halt.

"I DO NOT CONCEDE!" Sugar bellowed, drawing all attention to her as she stormed towards the host and winner. "I was the one who sacrificed the pineapple, that means I should win the million!" she told them in an almost pleading tone.

"Yeah, don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?" the other asked.

"How should I know?" Chris answered in annoyance.

"Because we told you as soon as we found out!" Shawn yelled at him, the rest of the peanut Gallery looking quite angry.

"But you just ignored us and put us all in danger!" Dawn added.

"Oh yeah," Chris said blankly. "I thought that was just, like, one of those things used to trick tourists."

It was then that the volcano shook and rumbled, a long-distance shot of it showing a few reddish streaks forming along the outer edge of the crater.

"Well crap," Chris muttered. "Nice going, Staci, your failure to smash the freaking things totally doomed us! I never shoulda let a screw-up freak like you back on the show."

"Wh-what?" Staci said, her long ears and tail drooping in confusion.

"Hey!" Ella said sharply, putting her hands on her hips. "Don't blame her when you're the reason why those pineapples were here in the first place!"

"Who cares about any of that?" Sugar roared, the music blaring ominously. "All that matters is that I get what I deserve!" The music flared as she tackled Chris, knocking him to the ground and grabbing for the suitcase.

Shots of Ella, Staci, Chef, the helpers, and the Peanut Gallery all gaping in shock were interspersed with clips of Sugar and Chris wrestling for the million-dollar case, drawing closer and closer to the edge of the crater. Eventually, the case slipped out of both their grasps, and fell towards the lava accompanied by a hollow, almost chanted, downward-sliding note.

"NOOOOO~!" Sugar cried in shock and horror.

Once it had disappeared into the bubbling molten rock, the perspective inverted to show the two looking over the lip of the crater in shock.

"Whoa," Chris said as the volcano began to shake again, "didn't see that one coming. Anywho," he chuckled before taking a deep breath and yelling "RRRUUUUNNNNNN!"

The music abruptly became tenser than ever as the volcano was shown from a distance again, the smoke billowing from the top turning into a full-blown eruption of fire.

The scene cut to the top of the path up the volcano as the three Hawaiian men went running back down it, followed by Chef, the intern who'd been carrying the ice, Chris, Staci, Ella and Sugar, and the rest of the cast.

"B-but, my prize!" Sugar stuttered in disbelieving panic as she ran. "I was supposed to win! It's what I deserve after everything, isn't it?"

"No you weren't," Ella told her sharply, "no it isn't, and please get over yourself already!"

Sugar gasped at the remark, and in her shock she tripped. Ella groaned in annoyance, but stepped back and grabbed Sugar's arm just as the rest of the cast caught up with them. Ella started running again, dragging the fallen and dazed Sugar behind her over several painful-looking bumps and stones. As the cast left the screen, lava pour down the side of the volcano and covered the screen.

It parted as the scene cut to the base, the former contestants running and screaming across the beach as flaming rocks rained down from above.

"Until next time," the host said, his voiced strained as the scene cut to him standing up in front of the sky, an ominous chanting note punctuating the music. "I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out to reveal that him and Chef were now aboard the old Boat of Losers, but the host's outtro was interrupted by a sudden whistling sound. Both men looked up, and the music peaked dramatically as particularly large and deadly-looking flaming rock hurtled down towards them.

Chris and Chef ducked to either side as it landed, punching a hole in the ship with its crash. The Boat of Losers began to sink with a hollow sound, and most of the rest of the cast – revealed to be treading water nearby – laughed as the two adults went under.

Their mirth was short-lived, however, and quickly turned to terror and they swam away screaming as large flaming rocks started raining down upon them once again. Only Ella was left behind, having briefly dove underwater rather than try to swim away.

An elegant and somewhat familiar song began to play, and Ella began to sing. "This journey has ended, it really was splendid, and my heart's still very much thrumming! I think we've all grown now, I wish we could show how...," she paused briefly as a large shadow grew over her, looked up, then finished in alarm. "But alas, another rock's coming!"

She screamed musically as she swam away from another flaming rock falling towards her, and the footage cut to static.

(Fade to Credits)

Author's Note - Post Script

And there you have it, folks! Ella is officially the winner of Total Shuffled World Tour. I know that not all of you like her, and quite a few were rooting for Alejandro - or even Sugar - to win, but I also know that a lot of people are gonna be really happy about this, and that I myself enjoy having the good people win.

So, let's go back through the episode and look at a few of the decisions I made. First, the tiebreaker: I had initially wanted to have the challenge be something more in Ella's favor, but I honestly just couldn't come up with anything that would be appropriately Hawaiian themed. Maybe that's my fault for not doing enough research, but it is what it is. I didn't want to spend a lot of time coming up with something for it, especially since I had the song and the extra ending to write, so I just made the canon challenge work. Alejandro kept his canon strategy of trying to knock his smaller and weaker opponent from the platform first, while Ella was forced to try and complete the actual objective as she went - which, of course, ended up working for her in the end. She cut through Alejandro's facade enough to make him hesitate, and she was able to seize the opportunity to claim victory. I hope that you all found that believable, if not satisfying.

Regarding the helpers, I knew early on that it would be Ezekiel for Ella and Staci for Sugar, with Tyler having to sit out due to injury and Alejandro deciding to remain neutral as he really didn't care to help either of them. After that, Ella's second was decided based on who she had a decent past relationship and would see as the most helpful in the challenge - this ended up being DJ, due to his strength and the bonding they did on their brief time on Team Victory together. Sugar, on the other hand, was gonna have to be what she felt was the least of a bunch of evils - someone she hadn't betrayed directly, and would at least play along with being on her team. I decided on Sam for this role, because he struck me as having a reason to stay reasonably neutral (being an Aftermath host), and because I thought forcing it on him would be amusing. Plus, I wanted a third boy.

The song, of course, is a Shuffled version of 'Versus'. I did consider having something more original in its place, but between having so much else to write - and get right - I decided to just stick with something simple. And since the first song of the season was a Shuffled version of a canon one, having the very last one be as well felt right to me. Ezekiel was really the only choice for the rapping parts (though I did briefly consider Beardo as Ella's helper for this part of the song), and I will state that his lines are faster than Harold's in canon so don't expect them to follow along with each other.

The Peanut Gallery actually knowing about the pineapple-lava thing was, I think, an interesting and believable twist since Dawn and Shawn are around. It added a bit more tension, I think, about how things would go down, though it did mean that Sugar had to be the one to throw the pineapple into the volcano in both endings.

The Point of Divergence, of course, is Staci's decision - to risk an eruption and/or Sugar's betrayal for a piece of the million, or to realize that it wasn't worth it and try to destroy the pineapples even if it meant Ella winning. It took me a while to figure out exactly how the two endings would thus play out, since I still needed the volcano to erupt and the money to be destroyed, but I'm happy with what I ended up deciding on.

Ironically, Sugar's ending turned out to be worse for her - she ended up getting scorched by molten rock much the same way that Alejandro and Ezekiel did in canon, and ultimately got nothing for her troubles but a whole world of hurt. And in the canon ending - Ella's ending - she still lost everything because of her own desperation, but made it out with only some scrapes, bruises, and a lot of wounded pride. Why did I make it this way, and not just have her burned up with lava like in her own ending? Because I honestly just didn't want her, or anybody else, to end up in the Drama Machine. I get why that little 'Revenge of the Sith' allusion was done in canon, but while it certainly worked for Alejandro's character in All-Stars it just wouldn't have been the same for Sugar. Sorry if I disappointed anyone in doing so, but that's just how I felt.

And Ella...well, she may have lost her prize money, but she did go out with a nice little reprise of the very first song she sung this season.

That's all for this season, folks! It was a blast to write, and even with its flaws I'm pretty happy with the story I've told these past several months. I wanna thank every last reviewer I've had these past three seasons (except the trolls); without your support, and the support of the other readers, I don't know if I'd have been able to get through this as quickly and as happily as I have. Thank you all so, so much.

The twenty-four contestants of the first generation are done for now. Their stories are (mostly) over, and next week thirteen new (but still familiar) faces will take their place as the stars of the show. Who are they, and how will they fare on the series' return to Camp Wawanakwa? Find out next Friday, February 12th, 2016, on the premiere of Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island!

Until then, let me know what you thought of the finale, and have fun!

- Fangren

Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)

Tyler - (4th Place | Disqualified?)

Alejandro - (3rd Place)

Sugar (RUNNER-UP | Alternate Winner)

Ella (WINNER | Alternate Runner-Up)