Yes. I know. Bad author. VERY, very bad. I promise, still not abandoning this story, but guys… I have had one Hell of a bad year. TL/DR version: my life has completely sucked ass for the last 11 months.

Long Version:

I had to start taking my son to a behavioral psychologist because he went from this sweet, wonderful little boy that loved learning to this demon-spawn that was on the verge of being expelled from school in the 1st grade. After I made it through the Holidays from Hell last year, he just became this entirely different child. His behavior cost me a job and the ability to look for a new one, I had to be on hand at all times because I never knew when the next phone call from the principal was coming telling me he was suspended again, to come get him off of school property immediately.

He nearly cost us everything. He told the school if they suspended him again, that his dad would punch him in the face (would NEVER happen) so I ended up dealing with Child Services and the local police. Nothing came of that and both cases were closed without prejudice against my husband and I, but Christ on a cracker… I thought I was gonna lose my kids and that is some scary motherfucking shit.

Then came all of the Dr's appointments and therapy appointments and behaviorists and medical trials… I have never felt so useless or so helpless in my life. I couldn't fix my son, all I could do was listen to all of these people argue over what was wrong with him and what to do about it… that took up my entire spring and summer. And for some reason, he'd taken it into his head that his 1st grade teacher hated him so he absolutely refused to work with her or for her.

|Finally got a diagnosis: ADHD and severe ODD. Great. Just in time to try medications for 2nd grade to start. First day he took the meds, when he came down off of it he had a violent outburst. Punched his sister in the face and a few minutes later couldn't tell me WHY he was mad at her. Unfortunately, our insurance changed and no longer covers mental health care… so we can't go back to the psychologist again… we have to rely on the MD's to sort all of this shit out now.

But the good thing is that so far, he's been doing OK with school. He's had a couple of bad days, but nothing like last year. Although his dick of a principal told me that everything from last year is gonna be held against him for the rest of his school career. Meaning, he yelled at his teacher during a bad moment and he got 3 days of ISS for it… and that was his last chance for the year. The next time he has a bad day, they're suspending him.

From last December to now (nearly a full year) my entire life has been wrapped up in helping my son, moving, dealing with my daughter becoming a moody little teenager, dealing with my husband's company making a 10% nation-wide staffing cut to their IT department and him being demoted back down to call center over that…

I honestly did try to write a few chapters, but they were so horrible and went places I never wanted this story to go just because of all of the shit happening in my own life… I stopped trying when school let out last June and decided to just wait for things to calm down. I should have posted another author's note but I'd been so busy dealing with everybody else that I never took care of me and I ended up so far into depression that my husband was begging me just to eat and shower. I seriously wanted to do nothing but lay in bed all day for about 3 months. I'm still not completely over it. I stay up til 5 or 6 in the morning, he gets the kids ready for school, and I sleep until noon… I know it's not healthy but it's how I've been coping.

I'm gonna start trying to write the next chapter again. I'm not making any promises other than I still intend to finish this story. I may not be able to do it the justice it really deserves, but I am going to start forcing myself to write again.

Thank you for not unfollowing it and walking away. I wouldn't have blamed you a bit.

Ironically, this update is the longest thing I've written since the last chapter posted. I don't know whether that makes me want to laugh or to cry… But I have an hour before my heathens get home, tea, and solitude. I'm starting chapter 18 as soon as I post this update.

Sage