To Perish Twice

Chapter 4

*four months later*

Gibbs leaned back in his chair and sighed as he watched his team working around him. The air finally seemed to have settled after all of the craziness of the past few months and they were all getting back into the routine.

Tim had returned to full field status just over six weeks ago. His injuries had taken longer to heal than expected, but Gibbs hadn't begrudged him the time off. He had returned to desk duty a month after their encounter with Haskel and had backed them up with his computer work as well as he ever had, but he had seemed a bit gun shy about returning to the field. Ducky had noticed the problem and referred him to Dr. Cranston, and after a month of sessions he had finished the process to re-certify as a field agent. Since that time Gibbs had kept a close watch on him, and McGee had seemed to be, for all intents and purposes, back to normal.

But he had never said he was ready to talk about what had happened back in that storage locker.

Gibbs was not, by nature, a patient man. He'd learned the skill as a sniper and could use it when necessary, when it was warranted, but for him that was rare. For McGee he had made an exception, driven by the certainty that his agent would eventually come around. He just hadn't expected it to take so long…

"Boss, gonna make the lunch run. You want the usual?"

Gibbs looked up at Tony and nodded. After he had gotten orders from the rest he headed out, and Ellie declared that she needed to to check on something with Abby, leaving Gibbs and McGee alone in the bullpen.

"Boss?" Gibbs looked up to see his agent standing in front of his desk.

"Yeah, McGee?"

"I, uh…" He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "I was wondering if you had plans this weekend. I mean, we're not on call, if we don't get a case, and..."

"Spit it out, McGee."

"I was wondering if you'd like to go camping...and fishing. With me."

"I don't have any other plans."

"Oh, OK. Uh, good, does that mean…?"

"Where are we going?"

He glanced around to make sure no one else was within earshot. "The mountains. A cabin, near a lake, and…" He nervously bit his lip and dropped his gaze. "I'm...ready to talk, Boss, if you're still willing to listen."

"I'm still willing to listen, Tim."

Gibbs could see relief starting to replace the anxiety McGee had been radiating since he approached Gibbs' desk. "That's good. Thank you."

"You want me to meet you there, or..?"

"No, I can drive. Pick you up after work?"

"That works for me. Give me some time to get my gear together. Say half an hour."

"I can do that."

"Sounds like a plan."

McGee nodded and hurried back to his desk, and for the first time in years Gibbs was hoping they wouldn't get a case before the end of the day.

When 1700 rolled around, Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief. "Pack it up, go home."

Tony and Ellie looked up in surprise. "Boss, are you-"

"Go. Be back at 0600 on Monday."

Ellie quickly grabbed her bag and left but Tony lingered. "What's going on?"

"A weekend off. Taking advantage of it."

"Big plans?"

Gibbs just glared at him so he turned to McGee. "I know Delilah's out of town, so you want to go grab a drink?"

"Nah, I'm good, Tony. Raincheck?"

"You sure?" McGee nodded. "Alright. See you on Monday."

After he left, McGee turned to Gibbs. "Half an hour?"

"Yep. See you in a bit."

Gibbs didn't have long to wait after he had gathered what he needed for the weekend. McGee arrived at the appointed time and after Gibbs had stowed his gear he climbed in the passenger seat of McGee's Prius, relaxing a bit as they drove out of the city and towards the mountains. McGee remained silent for most of the trip, only breaking it long enough to ask Gibbs where he wanted to stop for dinner.

They found a little Mom & Pop style diner and while they were eating, Gibbs decided to try and get a little more information.

"So where are we going, exactly?"

"It's near the northeast end of George Washington National Forest. I have a cabin with lake access."

"Rent or own?"

"Own. I've had it for a few years. I used to go there about once a month, when we weren't on call."

"Used to?"

"I still go, but not as often. I'm usually busy on the weekends." He blushed slightly. "I can't bring Delilah, it's not accessible."

"Does she know about it?"

"I've mentioned it. She says she'd like to see it sometime. Still figuring out the logistics...among other things."

Gibbs suspected those "other things" were part of the reason they were making this trip. "You'll work it out, one way or another."

McGee just gave him a weak smile and resumed eating. After they had finished their end-of-the-meal coffee Gibbs paid the check, stating that since Tim was driving he could cover dinner, and they were soon back on the road. McGee remained silent for the rest of the trip and Gibbs occupied himself by watching the increasingly forested scenery pass by.

Nearly two hours passed before McGee turned onto a rough gravel road that led deep into the forest. After about a mile, he turned into an even rougher road that wove through the trees until it reached a clearing where a small log cabin sat. It reminded Gibbs of his own cabin and looked equally primitive.

"I guess this is what the real estate people would call 'rustic'," Gibbs remarked as he climbed out of the car and McGee let out a soft huff of laughter.

"There's a pump in the kitchen for water and a fireplace for heat and cooking. The, uh, facilities are out back."

"You really are on vacation out here, then."

"Yeah."

Gibbs grabbed his gear while McGee lifted the groceries and ice from the cooler in the trunk of his car before he led them to the front porch, where an old freezer with a lock on the lid sat. He unlocked the freezer, deposited the bags inside and locked it again before he unlocked the cabin door. After returning to his car for the rest of his gear, they entered the cabin.

It was very clean inside, with a stone fireplace that had been outfitted for cooking and a small kitchen area with a old-fashioned hand pump in the sink. Tim deposited his gear next to a camp cot that stood against the wall opposite the fireplace and turned to Gibbs.

"You can have the bed, Boss. I can sleep on the floor."

"No need, I brought my own." Gibbs unpacked and set up his cot while McGee removed kindling and larger logs from a box in the wall and started to arrange the wood in the fireplace. When he was finished, he selected a battery-powered lantern from his pile of gear and turned to Gibbs.

"Let's go down to the lake. It's not far."

"Works for me."

McGee led him into the forest behind the cabin and down a narrow dirt path that ended at a small beach. Gibbs noticed a wooden dock that extended about thirty feet out over the lake and several logs surrounding what looked like a campfire ring. McGee set the lantern on one of the logs and set to working building a second pile of wood for the campfire. Gibbs helped him carry the wood from a tarp-covered stack near the trees and soon they were finished, but to Gibbs' surprise McGee didn't light the fire. He sat down on one of the logs and turned to Gibbs, an uncertain expression on his face.

"You said you're willing to listen, Boss."

"Yep."

"It's going to be show and tell."

"Alright." Gibbs sat down on an adjacent log and turned to his agent. "Show me."

McGee held his hand out, palm up, and curled his fingers into a fist. He quickly uncurled them a moment later to reveal a small flame hovering over the palm of his hand, flickering slightly. It rapidly increased in size until it was nearly a foot in height before McGee flicked his hand and flung the flame into the pile of logs, igniting it instantly.

Gibbs sat and stared at the flaming logs, completely speechless for a full minute before McGee started to speak.

"When I was ten months old, my mother walked into my nursery and found the mobile above my crib on fire. Obviously she was pretty freaked out and called the housing inspector out the very next morning to check the wiring in the house, trying to figure out what had happened. He found nothing wrong, and dismissed it as a freak accident. I think she knew then, but it wasn't until a few months later she had to believe it when she saw me with her own eyes set one of my toys on fire." A sad smile crossed Tim's face as he shook his head. "I can't even imagine what that was like for her. My father had just started a six-month tour, and when he came home she told him, and I guess he thought she had lost her mind until he saw what I could do. He didn't react well."

Finally Gibbs found his voice. "Define 'didn't react well'."

"He, uh, tried to discourage me from...using my ability. He was pretty calm at first, but as I got older it got stronger and harder to control. His punishments were...harsh. He thought it was the best way to keep me from doing it, but...I just didn't have the ability to not do it, not yet."

"What happened?"

"My mother finally decided the best way to handle it was for me to learn to control it. She'd bring me out to places like this: isolated, lots of privacy. I practiced, but...I didn't really learn to control it until I was almost ten years old. When I finally learned control I promised her I wouldn't scare her anymore. She also made me promise I'd never use it to hurt anyone else."

"And you had to break that promise. You were apologizing to her." McGee nodded. "But you didn't have a choice." He shook his head.

"No. I was out of ammo, you had stopped firing and I didn't know if you were out of bullets or unconscious. It was a last resort."

"I think she'd forgive you."

"Maybe…"

"But this doesn't explain what I saw when Haskel had us."

McGee's mouth twisted into a half-smile. "A little tweak of chemistry...or physics, I guess." He caught Gibbs' expression and the smile vanished. "After I had learned to control my ability, I started to wonder how it actually worked. Fire is energy in the form of heat and light, and energy can't be created or destroyed...just transformed. Or transferred from one place to another. After some experiments, I figured out I was pulling energy from the surrounding area to create the fire. How I can do that, I still don't really know, but it did at least explain what I was seeing." An odd look crossed his face. "That's when I learned that I could also, uh, manipulate matter."

"Matter?"

"Most forms, although solids are hardest, but liquids and gases are easier. I don't know about plasmas or supercritical fluids, I've never had a chance to try… Sorry, getting off the point."

"So you freed my foot when it was pinned in the car by what, bending the metal with your mind?"

McGee nodded, looking very uncomfortable at the tone of Gibbs' voice. "Yeah. I used that extra help to get you out of the car, too… and unlock the handcuffs."

Gibbs took a moment to absorb that information before he pressed on. "So tell me about the ice. You can move water, but it didn't seem like it was cold enough to turn it to ice, especially that fast."

"That's where the heat transfer comes in. I was pulling the heat energy from the water - kind of like an endothermic reaction pulls energy from the surroundings - as I pulled the water from the air and concentrated it in one spot, allowing ice to form." He blushed and dropped his eyes. "And then I formed it into a weapon."

"And the spot around us was warm because you were pulling the heat towards us?"

"Yeah. I had to spread it out, otherwise I might have set myself on fire."

"Damn…"

They sat in silence for several minutes, watching the flames dance within the fire ring. Finally McGee sighed and turned to Gibbs.

"I'm sorry. I know it's a lot to take in, Boss."

"That would be an understatement, McGee."

Tim sighed. "I understand if it's too much. If you can't...deal with me any more."

"I didn't say that. Just...give me some time to get used to the idea, OK?"

"OK…"

Gibbs turned to look out over the lake. It was quiet, with no evidence of any other late-summer campers in sight. They were completely alone, and Gibbs was beginning to suspect why this privacy was so important to his agent.

"So, when you come out here...it's so you can practice doing what you can do?"

"Something like that."

"OK. Show me."

A startled look crossed McGee's face. "Boss?"

"Help me understand, Tim. Show me what you can do. All of it."

"You sure?" Gibbs nodded. "Uh, OK." He rose from his seat, walked across the beach and out onto the dock. He stood there for a minute, staring down at the water, before he raised his arms and held his hands out, palms up. A few second later a flame appeared over each hand, growing quickly before Tim threw them into the air where they expanded into large balls of fire. They shot up into the sky and exploded, sending hundreds of smaller flames swirling into the night sky before they blinked out.

A second pair of flames appeared in Tim's hands and he sent them skipping across the surface of the water where the sank with a hiss. A moment later the water rose from the surface of the lake, twisting into a small water spout and spinning straight towards shore, where it stopped just a few feet from the lake's edge and fell back into the water with a large splash. Gibbs felt a gust of wind pass him and a dust devil formed at the edge of the lake, careening out across the water before it, too, sank beneath the surface.

Finally, another column of water rose from the lake, freezing slowly until the ice touched the surface. It hung suspended in space for a moment before it shattered and the shards of ice spread out in all directions, swirling in the air currents that carried it out over the lake and out of sight.

Tim slowly lowered his arms and returned to the beach, hesitating when he reached the edge of the fire ring.

"Boss? You OK?"

"Wow."

Tim blushed. "Sorry. I don't...I've never been asked to do that before."

"Not for your parents...or the rest of your family?"

"No one else knows. Just you."

"Alright." He glanced up at the night sky and saw the half moon was starting to set. "It's getting late. We should turn in."

"Are you…?"

"Need to sleep on this. Like you said, a lot to take in."

Tim nodded and kicked dirt over the dying flames. Once the fire was out, he grabbed his lantern and headed back to the cabin with Gibbs following a couple of yards behind.

Once they were inside Tim started the fire in the hearth - with matches, Gibbs noted - and waiting until it was burning steadily before he settled onto his cot, facing away from Gibbs. "Good night...Boss."

"G'night, Tim."

Gibbs reclined on his own cot and closed his eyes, listening to McGee's breathing. Once it had evened out and he was sure the younger man was asleep Gibbs rolled over on his side and watched him, remembering what he had seen down at the lake. Gibbs had watched McGee's expression and body language, and he was sure he had never seen his agent so relaxed, so...happy as he had been while showing Gibbs what he could do. Gibbs had realized that this was the real McGee, that his ability was a part of him, no matter how much he tried to repress it. Gibbs knew he had to decide just how much he was willing to accept this change in perception of his agent, and how it was going to color his dealings with him in the future.

As Gibbs drifted off to sleep, he realized that McGee was still his agent, and he wasn't willing to lose another member of his team, no matter what.

XXX

Gibbs woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and wood smoke. He levered himself up off of the camp cot and saw McGee crouched in front of the hearth, tending to the fire. He turned when he heard the creak of the cot and gave Gibbs a tentative smile.

"Good morning, Boss. Coffee's ready."

Gibbs swung his legs over the side of the cot and sat up, accepting the steaming cup that McGee brought to him. The first sip cleared the sleep-fuzziness from his mind and he breathed a sigh of pleasure.

"Thanks, Tim."

McGee nodded, and Gibbs noticed the tension that the younger man had seemed to carry with him for months had lessened, but there were still traces of doubt. Gibbs knew he had one last chance to erase those lingering worries and he intended to do just that.

"Ready to go fishing?"

McGee's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Sure. Breakfast first?"

Gibbs nodded and watched as McGee swung a grate over the fire and retrieved a cast iron skillet from one of the cabinets in the kitchen area. He placed the skillet on the grate and then went to the porch to retrieve a few items from the freezer. Soon after he returned he had bacon frying in the pan and when it was done he drained off the grease and added eggs to the skillet, scrambling them with a practiced hand.

McGee dished out a plate for Gibbs, then set a cast iron kettle on the grate and took his own plate over to his cot where he began to eat in silence. Gibbs ate in silence as well, appreciating the old-fashioned taste of a meal cooked over an open fire. He wondered when and where Tim had learned this skill, and how much of this was tied to his childhood isolation. He hoped the younger man would learn to associate better memories with this task, and Gibbs was ready to help him, if McGee would allow it.

When they both finished, McGee washed the dishes in a plastic tub, using the hot water from the kettle, and set them in a rack to dry before turning to Gibbs.

"Ready, Boss?"

"Yep. Let's go."

They grabbed their tackle and a container of bait from the freezer on the porch and their camp chairs from the car before heading down the path to the lake. The morning was cool, and tendrils of mist were rising from the lake as they arrived at the dock. The sun was just peeking over the horizon as they set up their chairs at the end of the dock and started putting together the poles and tackle. Soon they each had a line in the water and they sat watching the bobbers drift, bouncing slightly as a mild breeze kicked up small waves in the surface of the lake.

Gibbs leaned back in his chair, enjoying the peace and quiet. He realized how much of a refuge this place must have been for Tim, an escape from the craziness of their jobs, and a place to let go and be himself. Gibbs was strangely flattered that McGee had actually brought him out here, and thankful he had finally shared his secrets, even though it had caused him significant anxiety to do so.

"I know it's a lot to take in, Boss…"

And it was. Gibbs couldn't lie to himself about that. Something he couldn't even imagine existed, manifested in his seemingly mild-mannered and ordinary agent. It was completely unexpected, amazing, and, to be honest, a little bit frightening that a single person could wield that much power. Gibbs was glad that if anyone had to have those abilities, that person was someone so unflinchingly moral as Tim. Gibbs knew the only thing he could do to show his appreciation was to give the younger man the understanding he had never been given.

"Nice place," Gibbs began, and Tim turned to him in surprise.

"Thanks."

"And you're planning on keeping it? Keep coming here?"

Tim nodded. "I'll have to do a few things to make it more accessible if...when I bring Delilah here."

"Good. I'm glad you have something like this...for both of you."

Tim nodded before his attention was drawn to his bobber jerking below the surface. The next few minutes were dedicated to bringing in the fish that had taken Tim's bait - a nice-sized small-mouth bass - and adding it the the stringer tied to the dock.

After he had re-baited his hook and cast his line, Tim glanced at Gibbs, obviously wanting to say something, but still unsure of his new status with the older man. Gibbs chuckled softly to himself. It was time to settle this, once and for all.

"Hey, Tim. Plans for next fourth of July?"

"Uh, no, Boss. Not yet."

"Too bad. I bet you could have one hell of a fireworks display out here...and you wouldn't even need to buy any fireworks."

Tim stared at him, wide-eyed, for several moments before a genuine laugh erupted from him and Gibbs could see that at last the tension between them had dissipated. By the time the sounds of his laughter were echoing back across the lake, Tim had control of himself again, but the change was obvious. Finally, he had what he needed: acceptance.

Gibbs grinned and returned his attention to the lake before asking his agent one final question.

"We good, Tim?"

"Yeah, Boss," Tim replied with a genuine grin of his own. "We're good."

The End