John Shepard sighed as he carefully threw back the covers on his side of the bed, a cool breeze striking him as he did so. Fighting back a yawn, he shot a glance at the woman with her back to him that lay seemingly unaffected by his movement. He never tired of the sight of her pristine skin that always looked so tempting and difficult to resist. Even after a year of whatever it was between them, it was still a welcome sight every morning whenever he had the pleasure of waking up next to her.

Whatever it is. Shepard rubbed a hand over his stubbled jaw. He knew they could never go public. Neither had a close set of friends, both choosing to focus on work, which was an advantage. Shepard had no family and Miranda hadn't been forthcoming thus far with any information about hers. The way she held it back seemed as if she was in a similar boat to Shepard. He didn't mind that they couldn't shout the news from a hill top, privacy mattered to the man. What bothered him was the fact that even if they slipped up once, her life would seriously be on the line. His too, after all, she was considered the enemy in the upper ranks of the Alliance. Her honesty hadn't been forthcoming at the start and if she had her way, he bet she'd have never told him who she truly worked for. But it didn't matter to him, not now anyway.

Because he loved her with all his heart.

Their whole relationship sounded like a bad story told in cheesy b-vids. Boy meets girl in a bar. Girl is incredible, boy can't resist her wonderful smile. And their first month was more passionate then anything John had ever felt before. The sex was incredible. The company was exquisite. She introduced him to fine dining that he thought he'd never even attempt to try. While Shepard wasn't a fussy eater, growing up poor and then life in the military didn't quite prepare him for what she was going to introduce into his life when it came to restaurants and even on odd occasion, a home cooked meal.

Six weeks into their relationship, she dropped the bombshell. It was more of a forced issue than an ideal time for her to reveal all. Because for the first time in many years, she slipped up. The mask, kept to hide her secrets dropped and John Shepard realized the truth.

Girl works for terrorists.

Naturally, the boy tried to kill her. The ultimate sense of duty. Which was a damn shame, as he had really grown quite attached to her. What a fool I was.

Cerberus wasn't a name on many lips at the time. Some of their actions had been made public but to many, they were often thought of as a myth. But John Shepard was all too aware. In fact, he had been tasked by the Alliance to look into the rogue organisation. And boy had he ever stumbled into it head first. It was an operation out of the ordinary for Shepard. A soldier by trade, he was uncertain about their choice in him. The Alliance however were sure. They saw what he was, what he could be. Even if he didn't believe it then, they knew he would grow into his role.

But of course, Cerberus caught wind of the operation. And so she was dispatched to investigate, not eliminate. For John Shepard had a lot of potential. After all, he was a recipient of the Star of Terra for his actions on Elysium. And if the Council ever decided to let the Humans get a piece of the pie, Shepard's name would be at the top of many peoples list in relation to being the first Human SPECTRE. It was quite the opportunity for Cerberus to see more of the man that once upon a time, they had on a list of potential recruits.

So when John Shepard pulled his gun on Miranda Lawson, it really pissed her off.

Standing from the bed, he tiptoed over to the bathroom as quietly as possible. As the lights turned on around him, he initially winced before his vision began to focus. Shepard looked into the mirror and shook his head. He really shouldn't have stayed over, but he wasn't sure quite when he would see her again. The stubble would have to go before he checked in, that was for sure.

His attempt on her life was unsuccessful. And yet Miranda Lawson didn't reach for her pistol. She used her words to stop him, to try and convince him against an action that would tear them apart forever.

Their first meeting on the Citadel was handled to perfection. The little black strapless number that Miranda barely wore caught his attention almost immediately. How could it not? She looked absolutely breathtaking. Relying on her experience, she got the man talking quickly enough. He wasn't an easy conversationalist, clearly a man who relied more on his physical attributes over his time within the Alliance. The things he had seen and experienced first hand had hardened the man to a degree. She respected his decorated history and thought highly of his potential. Whether or not he could be drafted was certainly up in the air. But if Cerberus managed it, if she managed it, it would be an incredible coup for the organisation that would help push them forward as a genuine choice for those who disagreed with many of the Alliance's methods and decisions.

It was always business for her. She never felt anything for her marks. A means to an end. It was all for the good of Cerberus, and in part, the good of Humanity.

Three weeks later everything felt a little wrong. In fact it even started to feel real. She shook it off, blaming it as stress since she was working on such a high end target. It was difficult for Miranda to convince herself fully of that lie. After all, it had never happened to her before. But still she kept trying to reassure herself. It's not real and it never will be. Not after three bloody weeks. Pull yourself together and focus.

By week five she was more than worried. Worried about the feelings that were growing at a rapid rate inside her towards the Alliance marine. As a lover, he was the most generous she had ever had. As a conversationalist, he was surprisingly well worded once she'd broken down the walls that he'd seemingly put up around potential romantic partners. And he was genuinely funny. Miranda generally did not find much humor in matters. But with him, she laughed like she had never laughed before. And it was real.

On the sixth week, he told her what she already knew. Shepard was investigating a black-ops group called Cerberus. He had been private from the start about his current objective, only stating that he was working on a classified mission. But he told her everything because he trusted her. Because he thought she was simply the scientist she let on to be during their initial meeting. Despite knowing all that he said, Miranda's emotions got the better of her for the first time in over a decade. She found herself defending Cerberus to a level in which Shepard connected the dots quickly.

She talked him down after the attempt on her life. Miranda was furious with him on the inside. She had let her guard down, shown her true hand - all for him. And he didn't even try to communicate. He went straight for the gun, just like one of the many other Alliance bigots that hated Cerberus without good reason or understanding.

After he had stormed out, she didn't hear from him for a week. She took leave from her apartment on the Citadel and wondered every day whether he would track her down to finish the job. It was the first time in years she didn't feel safe. But more than that, she felt hurt by his actions towards her.

Miranda wasn't surprised when he returned to her. She was however surprised by his words. The apology came first, it was sincere and real. And then came the most important words. It was a startling admission, equally full of the hurt that she had felt and regret.

"I can't lose you, Miranda."

She could tell he meant it. And she needed to hear it. She too didn't want to think that this would be the last time she saw him. "You won't." She meant it too despite everything that had occurred previously. It was a turning point in both their lives.

Six weeks turned into a year in no time at all. Shepard's investigation into Cerberus petered out. Despite sharing a bed with a genuine Cerberus operative, the group had been limited in their public actions. While the Alliance would continue to investigate, they had needs of Shepard that were greater then Cerberus. The time had come at long last.

They needed him to become the first Human SPECTRE.

Despite his devotion towards Miranda, Shepard found it difficult to sweep under the rug her entire relationship with Cerberus. While he hadn't found anything of note that would lead to the downfall of the organisation, some information he had discovered were disturbing. It was something he chose not to take up with Miranda. He knew he was being selfish. The right thing to do was to arrest her, to turn her in. But he couldn't do it. So he let it stand. And it ate away at him in the back of his mind. What if something happens? What if I could prevent it?

Unlike the Alliance, Cerberus were more than aware of the relationship between Shepard and Miranda. It was something the Illusive Man, Cerberus' head honcho, held close to the chest. He knew the fact that one day, the information regarding the SPECTRE candidate could come into play in a positive way for Cerberus. But it was not something to be used without full thought. For now, things would continue naturally.

But despite his operatives assurances to the contrary, he knew the relationship was a lot more personal to Miranda. It didn't affect him. He was certain of Miranda's loyalties and in the long run, her position in the Cerberus food chain was a strong bargaining chip whenever Shepard's loyalty might come up for grabs in the future.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Shepard chuckled quietly as he locked eyes with Miranda. The operative was awake and sat in an upright position, the sheet that had previously covered her breasts now carelessly draped around her legs.

"One day I'm going to manage that without waking you."

A small tired smile formed on the woman's face. "We both know that's not going to happen, John."

"I know." Shepard strolled back to the bed and rejoined her. Miranda propped herself up on her elbow next to him, her free hand tracing lines in a circle motion on his chest. "Are you okay?" She sounded worried.

Shepard nodded. "Yeah. Just feels a little weird that's all, returning to action after being out of the mix for so long. Nerves I guess."

"You'll be fine. Except for all that paperwork.." Miranda teased him with a grin.

A groan escaped the mans lips. "Don't remind me. Sometimes I wish I was a grunt with a gun again."

Miranda frowned and prodded lightly at his chest, just above below his heart. "Well I don't. This is a great opportunity for you." Miranda found it hard talking in positive light about the Alliance. The group was clearly misguided about many things, including the future of Humanity. But she accepted that not all of it was rotten. Shepard for example was a shining star of what Humanity could potentially achieve in the Galaxy. And the ship that he had been posted to, the SSV Normandy, was a true marvel.

"You sound more excited then me," Shepard deadpanned. He was genuinely thrilled with the assignment however. "Though there's that SPECTRE on board, Nihlus Kryik. Still not sure why exactly the Council are sending a SPECTRE to check the stealth systems."

"There's obviously something more going on that Anderson hasn't told you about yet. He will though, I'm sure."

Shepard shrugged. "You think they'd tell the new XO and all. Guess we'll see. Lets just hope we're in, out, and back before supper."

Miranda smiled. "That'd be nice." She dropped down, greeting the lips of the man below her. "You know, we still have some time before you need to report."

Shepard couldn't help but grin at the sultriness that laced through her words. "What did you have in mind, Miss Lawson?"

"Oh you know, something to remember me by in case you don't make it back for supper." She prodded at his chest once more. "Though that's not an excuse to keep me waiting."

It was a morning well spent. The last morning in fact that they would have together for quite a while. For everything was soon to change in both their lives.

"Thrusters... check. Navigation... check. Internal emissions skink engaged. All systems online. Drift... just under 1500 K."

Shepard blinked as he tried to focus on the present, Joker's words in the Normandy's cockpit distracting him through his thoughts. He'd see Miranda again soon, he was sure of it. For now, he had a job to do. And most likely a mountain of paperwork, too.

Wonderful.

9/11/16 - Edited and rewritten certain parts, just to add a bit more background.