"HANG ON SCHATZCHEN DATTY'S COMING"

Medic ran down the hallway faster than he ever had run in his entire life, passing Heavy whom hadn't really moved much since the doctor had last spoken with him. He turned on his heel when he reached the medical lab door and burst through, making a beeline to the sterile (?) medical refrigerator.

He gasped after ripping the door open, revealing a limp, dead Archimedes. :(

"ARCHIMEDEEEES! NOOOOOOO!" The poor doctor wailed as he cradled the ded birb in his arms. "IT'S FILSY UP ZHEEEEERE"

Engineer entered the lab, Heavy following shortly after. "What happened doc?" The shortest one asked.

"Last night, he was nesting in the refrigerator because it was so hot, and I was exhausted, so I forgot that he was, and I must have closed it and passed out..." He answered, his words dripping with dread. Heavy approached the smaller man and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry about your leetle bird..." Engie took off his hard hat and approached him as well. Looking the corpse over, he noticed something.

"Wait jus'a second... He's wearing a mask...?" Engie proceeded to take off the bird's little paper mask. As he did, the bird materialized into a-

"AaaAHHh!" Medic screamed and through the head away from his being, startled. The BLU Spy's body crumpled to the ground.

"Honhonhonhon, snort, hon!" The obvious, characteristic laughter of the RED Spy was heard, as well as the familiar decloaking sound. "You should have seen the look on your face! 'OH NIEN! MIEN LIEBE OH GOTT HE'S TETT!'"

Medic's face was red with a mixture of anger and embarassment. "Fucke you. What did you do with mien bird."

"Oh, he's right here." The dickish Frenchman pulled Medic's precious from the inside of his suit.

Archimedes flew to his owner's shoulder, his wings making a high pitched whistling noise with each wingstroke. Medic petted him. "Ah, thank Gott."

"Hon hon"

The ende.

"What is plot?"

~Shiny, 2015