Don't Want to Find Out (What Hurts The Most)

A group of oneshots based on what I feel Sam may have been feeling each time that Andy's life had been in extreme danger on the job.

Disclaimer! I don't own Rookie Blue, seriously, if I did then Sam and Andy would have never broken up and we would be getting more McSwarek feels anytime that she gets hurt.

Chapter 1: Butterflies (2x01)

The first time that he almost lost her while they were on the job, was when he realized that he loved her. He had never felt this much panic and fear run through him before, not even when Sarah had been attacked during his senior year in high school. He heard the resonating sound of the bullet leaving the gun before anything and his first instinct was to look in the direction of his rookie. He watched as the girl next to her fell to the ground with an ungraceful thud and he was ashamed that he almost breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it wasn't Andy, then the second shot sounded and he watched as his newly released rookie took the hit.

His world stopped spinning in an instant as he watched in slow motion her arms stretch out on either side of her, the force of the bullet practically lifting her off her feet. He took off in her direction before she hit the ground, almost hoping with some irrational hope that he would get to her before her head made contact with the hard cement ground.

He never knew that he could feel such strong emotion towards a person, sure he had been in love before, but that was in high school, nothing compared to how he was feeling now. He wondered if this is how Luke felt about Andy, but he scoffed at the thought, the only thing he loved was his job. To Callahan, Andy was just a side show to entertain him when he didn't have a case. Or at least, that's how Sam viewed it, along with Oliver, Jerry, and Traci and the rest of the rookies. The only one who couldn't see it was her.

She was already trying to get up by the time he reached her, it had taken him longer than he would've liked, but the people blocking him from her were in a panic and trying to reach her through a mob wasn't as easy as people in the movies made it out to be.

"Lie back! Lie back" He told her as he pushed her back down against the concrete. He saw that she was struggling to breathe and he rushed, trying to get the vest off of her as quickly as he could. He leaned down slightly, not enough for anyone to notice, but enough for her to be able to hear him and he whispered in her ear.

"Shh, it's okay, McNally, you're okay." He soothed as he still fought with the vest. Oliver sat next to him with the girl who had been shot, but both of them knew that she wouldn't make it.

"1509, shots fired! Supernova, Queens' Key and Richardson. Two people shot, officer down, requesting ambulance right away! Repeat officer down!" He yelled into his radio, Oliver looked up at him and Sam knew that his friend had heard the panic in his voice. He looked back down at her.

"Andy, just let the air out." He moved around the top of her head, and placed a hand on her cap, the other one roaming her side, searching for where the bullet had made contact with her vest.

"McNally, you're going to be fine okay? Just stay down, don't try and get up alright? It looks like the bullet got stuck in your vest. Just stay put and try to breathe okay?" He watched as she began to struggle again.

"Hey, hey it's okay, you just got winded" He soothed, stroking her hat before getting up and running off.

"You'll be fine, I have to go though, I have to be the boss right now." He called as he rushed away. He wished that he didn't have to, not when Andy was hurt, albeit not seriously, but it wasn't a choice that he had options for, not in the present moment. So he took off, leaving Oliver with Andy.

When everything had calmed down, he stood outside of the detective's van that Andy was in, currently going through the shooting with Jo. He ran his hand over his face, releasing a large sigh. He knew that she was okay, but his heart apparently didn't want to believe it, as it was still thumping out of his chest a mile per minute. He heard the door behind him open and he turned around to see Andy slowly make her way down the steps. She hadn't even gotten to the bottom before he started to drag her off to the side, his hand resting in between her shoulder blades.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly, looking directly at her, hoping to see if she was lying or not.

"F-fine" She stuttered "I mean, that was really scary, and it hurt so bad, but I'm alright. I'm alright. I just got this bruise that's forming-" She trailed off the moment they were out of view from everyone else as his hands travelled up her sides and to her cheeks, cupping her face in his palms as he examined her himself. She looked at him intently, a questioning look in her eyes.

"What?" She asked, and Sam was so close to just closing the distance between them and showing her how he actually felt when she looked past him.

"Sam" She said, and he turned, looking in the direction that she was. A teenager had been watching them, and began walking away when he realized Andy had spotted him.

"You've got to be kidding me." He muttered as he began running towards the fence, he looked back at Andy and pointed to the truck.

"You've got to get behind that truck" He demanded before taking off into a sprint, his heart rate still at an accelerated pace, although now for a different reason.