"GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMOONS, LET NOTHING YOU DISMAY!"

Remus groaned and rolled over, pulling his thick winter duvet up over his head in a doomed attempt to block out Sirius' incessant singing – if you could even call it that. Remus, despite his apathy, supposed Sirius might have had a nice voice (even, perhaps, quite beautiful) except that no one's voice was nice at half past six in the morning, especially when said person kept you awake until one AM the previous night. He didn't know how his boyfriend did it.

"Piss off, Pads,"

Sirius broke off his chorus abruptly, staring at Remus from where he stood in the centre of the room, wearing Christmas pyjamas and a Santa hat perched jauntily atop his head. He gasped; over exaggerated and mocking; placing a hand over his chest, "Moons, how dare you defile the spirit of Christmas with your foul mouth!"

Remus rolled over again to face him, wrapping his duvet cocoon closer still around himself, and raised his eyebrows, "You didn't think it was that foul earlier, I seem to remember."

Sirius moved to sit on the end of the bed, shaking his head as he moved, "Foul, dirty mouth," He grinned at Remus, a glint in his eye, "Disgusting."

Remus rolled his eyes and shuffled backwards against the wall so as to appease Sirius, who had begun to nudge his leg like a sad puppy who wanted petting, which, Remus thought, was probably what he was. All talk of Christmas seemingly forgotten, Sirius curled up next to Remus and hummed contentedly,

"Spoon me with your lanky limbs, Moonboy."

Remus gave the back of Sirius' head a pointed look, "Okay, no," He sat up, pulling the duvet from around himself and climbing out of bed, "I hate you."

Sirius whined, "Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"It's the first of December." Remus glared at Sirius as he pulled on a pair of checked pyjama bottoms, and watched the boy roll onto his back, throwing his arms above his head on the pillow so that he was laid like a tragic romantic heroine, which, Remus thought, was probably what he was.

"It's the first of Christmas. Have you opened your advent calendar yet?"

Remus fished his t-shirt out from under his desk where it had been thrown the night before and pulled it on, the pink colour clashing awfully with the red of his trousers, which had been Sirius' main excuse for taking them off, "Dude, are you telling me you still have one?"

Sirius sat up abruptly, his eyes hard and his Santa hat askew, "Are you telling me you don't?" Remus nodded at him slowly, and Sirius tutted, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was dating Ebenezer Scrooge."

Dating. Remus' stomach flipped at the sound of the word. It had been almost a month since Remus had finally grown a backbone and kissed Sirius, and he was surprised to find that going out with him felt so… normal. Perhaps it was because Sirius had already spent ninety percent of his life in Remus' room, now he just did it in less clothes.

He moved over to where Sirius sat on the bed, still looking slightly miffed, and kissed him on the forehead lightly, "Bah humbug,"

Sirius' face broke out into a grin again, and his eyes shined with a note of triumph, "That's the spirit," He leant up and pressed his lips softly to Remus', and Remus could feel him smiling against his cheeks. However, as he felt Sirius' hands creep beneath his t-shirt a second time, Remus pulled them away and stood up, backing up towards the door, "No, I only just put it back on,"

Sirius made a noise like a dog that wanted feeding; a long, high pitched whine, standing and moving over to where Remus stood, and began playing with the hem of Remus' sleeve, "But the colours offend me, Moons." Remus, despite the tension rising in his chest, resisted the urge to kiss the boy again, and instead smirked, then pulled open his bedroom door,

"I don't care," He began walking out into the hallway, but paused, looking back, "Pancakes."

Sirius' eyebrows shot up, and he followed Remus down the hall with a grin on his features, "Pancakes?"

Remus looked back at him as he pushed open the kitchen door, "Pancakes."

James and Lily were the only other two up, and seemed to be ignoring each other – or, rather, Lily was ignoring James, as she was sat at the table with her back to him, where he stood facing the sideboard, taking fleeting glances every few seconds. He looked up gratefully as he saw the two boys walk in, and smiled his brilliant, whitened smile,

"Morning, lovebirds," There was something of a glint of mischief in his eye, and he gave them a knowing smile, "Have fun last night?" He turned around so that he was leaning a hip against the kitchen cupboards, his cereal bowl in his hands as he ate.

Remus blushed deeply, but Sirius threw an arm around the taller boy's shoulder and laughed, "It was excellent."

James dropped his smile and gave them a glare, "I know," Remus' stomach dropped sickeningly, "Pete came into my room at eleven. When I asked him why all he said was 'the walls are very thin.'"

Remus groaned and buried his face in his hands, "Jesus Christ," He muttered, as Sirius stroked his arm affectionately,

"Do not feel shame, Moonbeam," Sirius said, his voice deadly serious but his mannerisms telling a different story, "Shame is for the weak – like Potter, over there. Did you know that last night he asked out this poor, poor girl again?"

Lily turned around and gave Sirius a pointed look, "Would you mind not embarrassing me further, Padfoot?" She picked up her empty plate and made her way over to the sink furthest from James and began washing up, "It was bad enough last night."

Remus stepped out from under Sirius' arm, which still hung lazily around his shoulders, and collapsed into one of the dining chairs, "How do you even know what was happening last night?" He directed his question at Sirius, who was now trying to climb up to sit on one of the countertops, if only he wasn't so short.

Sirius shrugged, finally getting a good seat on the sideboard and beginning to swing his legs backwards and forwards so his feet beat out a rhythm on the cupboard doors, "I'm an early riser," He grinned at James suddenly, "And I bumped into Prongs on his way in from his jog."

James was glaring at him, but there was still a note of affection in his eyes, "I didn't tell you so that you could go and blab to everyone else," he placed his cereal bowl down on the sideboard, "which I now realise was a misjudgement."

Lily snorted, allowing a bubble of laughter to escape her lips before composing herself and fixing a scowl on her pretty face. James, who had noticed that his joke had been appreciated, grinned, "You laughed!" He pointed at her, and Remus was suddenly happy that at least when he had a crush on someone he was subtle about it.

"I didn't mean to," She countered, taking her plate and glass and placing them carefully back into her cupboard, "Trust me, I would never boost your ego intentionally."

Remus laughed as he watched Lily leave the room, but stopped when he saw James visibly deflate.

"What am I going to do?" His head was in his hands and his voice was pained. Sirius hopped down from the counter and snaked an arm around James' shoulder,

"My advice would be to give up, mate."

Remus gave a nod of agreement, "I think that's best, to be honest, Prongs." If Remus was really being honest, he probably would have told James to shut up and piss off so he could have pancakes, but he felt like delicacy was needed, especially in the case of trying to repair James' shattered dignity.

But James was looking at them as if they had just called him – or, quite possibly, Lily – something awful, and his face emerged from his hands to glare that them, "Give up?" He sounded like even the prospect was painful, "You think I could give up on Lily? Have you seen her? She's literally the most amazing person I've ever met. I'm in love."

"I'd say you were infatuated, mate," Sirius shrugged, "But then what do I know, eh? It's not as if any of us are in a happy, stable relationship, is it?"

James screwed up his face into a mock sneer, "Piss off with your happiness," He untangled himself from Sirius' arms as best he could and made his way out of the kitchen, "I'm going to wallow in self-pity, call me if you want to drink."

"It's ten in the morning?" Remus called after him, as James skulked out of the room, as if walking towards the gallows.

"Time is meaningless," He threw back as the kitchen door slammed shut behind him, and Sirius nodded at Remus knowingly.

A silence settled over the two of them for a few moments as each digested the scene that they had just watched unfold, and Sirius slipped his hands into the pockets of his pyjamas, bringing his shoulders up to his ears in an exaggerated shrug, before Remus broke the silence.

"Pancakes?" He smiled at Sirius hopefully, all raised eyebrows and teeth, but Sirius shrugged again,

"I'm feeling bacon now,"

Remus scowled deeply, his grin dropping instantly from his face. Sirius frowned for a second, before his face lit up once more,

"Bacon pancakes?"

Remus pondered this for a few moments, before accepting that this was a satisfactory suggestion and nodding, "Bacon pancakes."

Durham University's University Challenge team sailed through the second round of the competition with a stylish ease, wiping the floor with the University of Liverpool and beating them with 150 points to 35. Remus had watched safely from the comfort of the audience with Sirius, who had been guessing the most ridiculous answers to the questions with the hope that Remus would laugh loud enough that the presenter would tell him off. Unfortunately, Remus was a lot better at this game than Sirius was, and half an hour into the recording Jeremy Paxman had asked for Sirius to be removed, before he removed him himself.

When Remus found Sirius later on, he was sat, looking rather sorry for himself, on the steps of the BBC building, his knees brought up to his chest and a scowl on his handsome face. Remus broke away from the celebrating team and slipped his hands into his jeans pockets,

"Learnt your lesson yet?" He asked, shouting above the bitter December wind, which whipped his too-long fringe into his face in a way he hoped looked cool, but probably looked stupid. Sirius turned towards him and pouted – over exaggerated, his bottom lip sticking out – and pushed himself up off the ground, brushing the back of his jeans hurriedly in case they'd been dirtied,

"I will never again try to make you laugh, ever." He said solemnly, nodding his head and struggling to keep his face straight.

"Like hell," Remus rolled his eyes, then reached out for Sirius' arm, closing his hand around the boy's forearm and dragging him down the steps of the building towards the group of students singing merrily in front of them. Sirius pouted for a few moments, but it was only a matter of time before he joined in with the chorus of 'We are the Champions' that was now echoing across the square. Remus thought he could never get sick of that song – it was a timeless classic.

How wrong he was.

"Can you guys shut up now?"

An hour and three pints of cider later, Remus had his hands over his ears to block out the sound of Queen, which was now being played over the pub's jukebox for the sixth time since their arrival. Not that he had anything against Queen – he could still recall dancing around and pretending to be Freddie Mercury in his early teen years – he just wished someone would put on another damn song.

"Silence, Moonface." Sirius placed a finger on his lips and giggled lightly – Remus had never wished he had filmed something so much before in his life – and slammed his empty pint glass down on the bar between the two of them, swaying violently, "We are the champions."

"We did nothing," Remus said, sliding the glass away from Sirius to avoid him knocking it over, which was looking more and more likely as he stumbled ever more aggressively, "You're not even on the team."

Sirius giggled again, leaning into Remus in a way that was nowhere near as alluring as he probably hoped that it was, "I'm on one of the team."

"Jesus Christ," Remus sighed, side-stepping away from Sirius and the bar, and slipping into the booth where Kingsley sat with Gilderoy, who was typing on his phone frantically.

"Twitter," Kingsley nodded towards the blonde, explaining before Remus even had a chance to ask, "He has to keep his fans informed."

Remus' brow furrowed, "He has fans?"

Gilderoy looked up from his phone and shot Remus a grin, his teeth almost too big for his face, "Well," He began, admiring his reflection in the screen of his phone, and Remus had to try very hard not to laugh, "When you look like this it's hard not to acquire a few thousand followers when you appear on television." He gave his reflection a cheeky wink, before placing his phone down on the table between them, "Kingsley gained a few as well, last year."

Kingsley shrugged as if to brush off Lockhart's comment, but Remus saw him smirk a little.

"SHACK!"

"Oh dear lord," Remus buried his head in his hands as Sirius practically dived into the seat next to Gilderoy and threw his hands across the table towards Kingsley, grabbing a hold of his forearms and grinning,

"Shack, I love you,"

Kingsley looked around at Remus very slowly, as if to draw out the embarrassment for as long as possible, before arching a single eyebrow and asking in a low voice, "How many has he had?"

Remus shrugged, "He's a lightweight, honestly," before taking hold of Sirius' hands and removing them from Kingsley's arms, "Sorry."

Remus expected Sirius to complain, but he seemed quite content in his drunken haze to hold Remus' hands across the table, grinning stupidly. Remus thought he would have been adorable had he not been so embarrassing, but noted that he was never going to let Sirius get drunk around his friends ever again.

Remus Lupin - 20/12/2015 16:36 – How are things in the Potter-Black household?x

Sirius Black – 20/12/2015 16:39 – Pads has told me to tell you that everything is great but I [James] would like to inform you that we are having to share a toothbrush and I am not okay with this. Also Pads wanted me to send you kisses but gross

Remus Lupin – 20/12/2015 16:40 – Prongs you're the richest person I've ever met can't you just go and buy him a toothbrush? Also probably a good call on the kisses thing, you wouldn't want to catch the gay ;) xx (oops watch out they're coming for you)

Sirius Black – 20/12/2015 16:41 – what's this about catching the gay? i think i caught that a while ago ;) it's me again btw i was just making pancakes so i had to get prongs to type for me i hope he didn't offend u xxx

Remus Lupin – 20/12/2015 16:42 – Pancakes? It's four in the afternoon? Xxx

Sirius Black – 20/12/2015 16:42 – there is never an inappropriate time for pancakes. also in response to the toothbrush thing prongs would like me to tell you that we have not yet been up and dressed at an appropriate toothbrush buying time, and today is, in fact, the first time that we have seen sunlight since university xxxx

Remus Lupin – 20/12/2015 16:43 – The shops are open later at Christmas? Xxxx

Sirius Black – 20/12/2015 16:44 – we know xxxx

Remus Lupin – 20/12/2015 16:44 – Jeez

James Potter – 22/12/2015 14:54 – Tell your boyfriend to fuck off for me plz

Remus Lupin – 22/12/2015 15:02 – What is he doing? Can't you do it yourself?

James Potter – 22/12/2015 15:03 – He won't stop singing Mariah Carey send help

Remus Lupin – 22/12/2015 15:03 – RIP u

James Potter – 22/12/2015 15:04 – He's moved on to the waitresses now

Remus Lupin – 22/12/2015 15:05 – Christmas wrapping is an excellent song tbh I'd probably put up with that

James Potter – 22/12/2015 15:05 – I can't wait to send him to you – there's only so many variations of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen' a man can put up with before he's driven to murder

Remus Lupin – 22/12/2015 15:06 – plz don't kill him he's too pretty to die

James Potter – 22/12/2015 15:06 – He says thank you

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:36 – i miss you :( x

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:37 – Shh, Santa will hear you x

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:38 – maybe he'll spoon me – i need a new buddy seeing as you're 200 miles away x

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:40 – That was not a mental image I needed, thanks. I never understood the concept of 'sexy Santa' it's just full on creepy. Gross. x

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:42 – is it weird that i'm not even excited for christmas at all? i just want to see you again :( xx

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:45 – Six days. Xx

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:45 – can't pass soon enough tbh xxx

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:46 – What time do you arrive in Leeds? Need to know so I can embrace you on the platform like we're in a romantic movie xxx

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:47 – half 1 – also im hoping that after this long wait this embrace will be very much non-pg ;) xxx

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:48 – My parents will be there, Pads, it very much will be xxx

Sirus Black – 24/12/2015 23:49 – booooooring remind me again why i date u? i think i hear the sound of reindeer hooves on the roof… g2g pretend to sleep or i wont get any presents ;) ily xxx

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:50 - You date me because I have excellent hair and an extensive record collection. You said so last week. Sleep well, Pads xxxx

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:51 – until tomorrow, moon emoji

Remus Lupin – 24/12/2015 23:51 – Reusing nicknames, are we?

Sirius Black – 24/12/2015 23:52 – these are the greatest hits

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 06:34 - HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKER

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:01 – Is that any way to greet me on the anniversary of our Lord And Saviour's birth?

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:02 – youre quite right i meant to say HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY JESUS YA FILTHY ANIMAL

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:02 – If we weren't gay I'd say that that text had just landed you with a one way ticket to hell

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:03 - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:03 – whats with all the religious talk m00n b0i?

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:03 – I'm at church RN (+ never call me that again)

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:04 – CHURCH? how did u not burst into flames as soon as u walked in u filthy sinner?

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:05 – Jeez thanks. But yeah my dad is kinda religious so we go to church on Christmas. I don't like it but [imagine I'm shrugging]

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:05 – Also there's free cake and tea afterwards and I'm always down for free cake

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:06 – my family were religious fanatics lol

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:06 – Doesn't surprise me tbh

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:07 – thats why i got kicked out when i came out haha

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:07 – W H A T

Remus Lupin -25/12/2015 10:07 – you never told me that

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:08 – I'm so so so so so sorry xxxxxxxxxx [that's me kissing you all over your pretty face]

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:08 – calm down moons jeez im fine

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:08 – kisses are v much appreciated tho ;) xxxx

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 10:09 – Argh mum caught me texting so brb gotta go pretend to pray ily xxxxxx

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 10:10 – pray for wednesday to come quicker :( ily2 xxxxxxxxxx

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:36 – Cake is being eaten

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:37 – nice – were having presents rn

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:37 – IDC about your presents I have chocolate cake

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:38 – wait a sec u like chocolate omg i had no idea

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:39 – ur a dick & I h9 u

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:40 – i cant believe ud say that to me on christmas m00n b0i

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:40 – Using the same nickname twice in the space of two hours? Weak.

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:41 – ill try and up my nickname game for u moony

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:41 – I can't wait. Get any good presents?

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:43 – prongs family got me stuff? like clothes and stuff? theyre so nice wtf

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:43 – also prongs himself got me a new leather jacket because hes rich af and i only did a painting for him :/ :/ :/

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:44 – DW Pads, its fine seriously they understand that you can't afford to get them stuff. They probably have all the stuff they need anyway don't they? I heard they have staff at their house in India

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:45 – o yea they do but then we used to have staff at ours so its not that rare tbh

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 11:46 – I wish you still had staff I hate washing up

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 11:46 – one of the perks of living with a horrifically rich bigoted family was that i hadnt seen a dishcloth until I was 18

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 14:54 – wtf Pads this painting is amazing WTF W T F

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 14:55 – omfg you opened it do you like it please tell me you do

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 14:55 – IT'S AMAZING I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU'RE AMAZING I WANNA KISS YOUR STUPID FACE NOW PLEASE GET THE NEXT TRAIN TO LEEDS

Sirius Black – 25/12/2015 14:56 – maybe ill paint you things more often if thats how you react

James Potter – 25/12/2015 18:43 – I'm so sorry

Remus Lupin – 25/12/2015 18:44 – What? What's happening?

[Remus' phone buzzed in his hand, and the screen flashed at him to show that Sirius was calling]

"MOOOOOOOON BOOOOOY"

"Exactly how much sherry have you consumed in the last four hours?"

"NOT ENOUGH"

"I can tell you right now that that is not true."

["Who's that, dear?"

Remus lowered the phone from his ear, holding it to his Christmas jumper-clad chest and shooting his grandmother an apologetic look,

"My idiot boyfriend."]

"Did you just call me an idiot?"

"What else would I call you? That's what you are, idiot."

"Merry Christmas to you too."

"Look, as much as I would love to chat to you when you're this drunk –"

"You love it, you love me, and you know you do,"

"Shush. Call the Midwife is going to be on soon and if I miss it because of you then I'm afraid I'll have to break up with you."

"You care about that show too much."

"Patsy is my bae."

"Did you just say -?"

"Anyway, bye, Pads! Love you, and all that nonsense."

"WAIT, MOONY I –"

[Call ended – 18:56]

30/12/2015

Sirius Black – 09:15 – ON MY WAY OMG

Remus Lupin – 10:45 – Jeez how did you even get up so early?

Sirius Black – 10:45 – the thought of getting a good snog tbh also WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ive had to entertain myself on this train for the last hour and a half

Remus Lupin – 10:46 – I was visiting some good friends in the land of nod

Sirius Black – 10:46 – as usual

Remus Lupin – 10:47 – Did you expect anything else? I don't get out of bed until at least 10 when I have work to do, now I'm free I'll be in bed til 12 at least

Sirius Black – 10:47 – just make sure youre here to meet me at half 1 xx

Remus Lupin – 10:48 – I wouldn't dare miss it xx

Leeds train station was, as usual, a sea of people. Remus Lupin was, as usual, a nervous wreck.

It wasn't just the thought of introducing Sirius to his parents that terrified him, but the thought of having to stand and wait amongst thousands of people who were all trying to push past each other to the platforms made his skin crawl. His vision was constantly obscured, he couldn't hear anything and people were continuously brushing past him as he stood underneath the arrivals board, watching Sirius' train from London Euston crawl ever closer to the top of the list.

Remus' parents were a little way behind him, sat on uncomfortable metal benches; his father watching the departures tick off one by one, and his mother scribbling ideas down in a notebook. They were both doing a remarkable job of looking like they weren't waiting almost as anxiously as Remus was, and Remus noted that he needed to ask them how they did that as he began rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet.

Finally, Sirius' train disappeared from the arrivals list, which meant that Remus now had no excuse to be staring at it, and should really be looking around for his boyfriend to appear out of the crowd – for some reason it took him a few moments to gather up the courage to do that.

Being over six feet tall, Remus had a decent vantage point above the crowd, but seeing as Sirius was a Tiny Hobbit this didn't give him much of an advantage, and, even as he squinted down at the hordes of commuters, he found himself willing for Sirius to have decided not to come.

However, one brilliant grin from Sirius melted all of those feelings away, and Remus felt his face break into the biggest smile he had ever smiled as the boy jumped into his arms, giving him the world's tightest hug.

"I missed you," Sirius whispered in his ear, his arms around Remus' waist tightening, "I made a point to whine about it to Prongs every day – he threatened to kick me out."

Remus laughed into Sirius' hair as he buried his face into the crook of the shorter boy's neck, "I missed you too, Padfoot."

Sirius finally released him, and Remus took his hand, dragging him back through the crowd to where his parents were sat, his cheeks pink and an exhilarated grin on his face, "This is Sirius,"

Remus' parents stood up, Lyall brushing his hands on his knees before holding out one for Sirius to shake, introducing himself. Hope pulled Sirius into a hug as Lyall picked up his suitcase,

"It's so nice of you to come and stay with us for the New Year," She smiled, holding Sirius at arm's length as if to get a good look at him. Remus shot Sirius an apologetic look over his mother's shoulder, before clearing his throat,

"Should we, er, head off, then?"

Hope looked around at her son and nodded once, "Yes, I think that's best," she patted Sirius' arms quickly before letting him go, "it's lovely to meet you, dear."

The four headed out of the train station and back to Remus' parents' car in silence, only the persistent drone of the wheels on Sirius' suitcase piercing the cold winter's air. They bundled into the tiny vehicle, Remus having to sit cross-legged in order to fit in the back with Sirius, who sent him a smug look as if to say 'being tall isn't all good now, is it?' Remus stuck out his tongue in response, which sent Sirius into a fit of giggles it would no doubt take him several minutes to surface from.

Remus' extended family was visiting for New Years, so naturally his mother was a nervous wreck. Watching her fret, running around the house plumping cushions and dusting already-spotless ornaments, Sirius leaned over to Remus on the morning of New Year's Eve as they ate toast on the sofa,

"I can see where you get it from now."

Remus shoved Sirius away from him, laughing. His mother whipped around and glared at the two boys, wispy hairs falling out of her messy bun, "If you two get any crumbs on my sofa after I spent an hour hoovering it I swear, I'll leave you to the mercy of Great Aunty Pat."

Sirius shot Remus a worried look, having never encountered Remus' great aunt Patricia before, and Remus shook his head, "You don't want to know the kinds of questions she comes out with – last year she asked me if it was the all-boys school that 'turned me'."

Sirius had to cover his mouth to stop himself from spraying toast crumbs everywhere, his hands stifling his giggling as Hope Lupin watched him with eyes like a hawk. Sirius placed his plate down on the coffee table in front of them and picked up his mug of coffee, "She sounds great, I can't wait to meet her."

Remus quirked an eyebrow, "Haven't you had enough of bigoted relatives in your time?" picking up his own mug and taking a sip of tea, watching Sirius carefully out of the corner of his eye.

"She sounds more curious than bigoted, to be honest. I mean she didn't scratch your name off of the family tree or anything, so," Sirius shrugged, and Remus shared a Look with his mother, who had been briefed before his arrival on Sirius' awful family, before letting out a shaky laugh,

"Well, we don't all have ours on display in the entrance hall of our mansion…"

This time it was Sirius' turn to shove Remus, who watched in horror as his tea sloshed over the edge of his mug. Hope was there in an instant, swooping in and taking the mug from Remus' clammy hands and dragging him off of the cushions,

"Did it go on the sofa?" She was fretting again, brushing the material with her hand to attempt to find the spillage on the already brown sofa while Sirius sat and giggled.

"No," Remus winced, "Just on my crotch. Just – just scalding hot tea in my lap; excellent." He grit his teeth and tried his very best to not swear in front of his mother, "Amazing, yes, brilliant."

Sirius continued laughing, "You okay there, babe?"

Remus blinked back tears, and when he spoke it was an octave higher than usual, "Yep, fine, thanks."

"So, does it work like a normal relationship?"

Remus mentally cursed the single spot of tea that had missed his crotch and hit the sofa cushions as he grimaced a smile, watching his Great Aunty Pat shovel cheese and biscuits off of a paper plate and into her mouth as she waited expectantly for an answer to her question. He shared a glance with Sirius, who raised his eyebrows as if to say 'you weren't kidding'.

Remus inclined his head, 'go on, you answer her'.

Sirius furrowed his brow, 'she's your aunt'.

Remus let out a deep sigh, 'fine', and turned back to the old lady, who was now unwrapping a mince pie but still watched him with a look of expectation.

"Yes, Aunty Pat, because we are 'normal'." Remus was beginning to regret letting Sirius choose the seat closest to the table, which was set out like a buffet, despite the fact that Remus had told him that's where Auntie Pat liked to sit. Sirius had insisted it would be fun, but after a half hour interrogation both could think of nothing better than escaping her grasp.

"Remus!"

The boy in question turned his head, feeling a wave of relief wash over him as he saw one of his cousins approaching them. He stood up, grabbing Sirius by his elbow and pulling him to his feet too, who tutted and snatched three more sausage rolls for his paper plate before following Remus to where his cousin had been sat on the carpet a while before.

"You know you didn't have to move, I would have sat with Great Aunty Pat," The girl said, shooting Remus a jokey look, and they both laughed, "So, are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?" Remus could tell that by that she meant could Remus introduce his boyfriend to her, but he felt it best not to comment.

"Uh, yeah," He nudged Sirius with his elbow, "Sirius, this is Lou;" He gestured to the girl, who nodded in greeting, "Lou, this is Sirius," He gave her a stern look, "please don't flirt with him."

She looked aghast, and threw a bread roll at Remus' head, "I would never!" Remus simply raised his eyebrows, and she averted her gaze, "Okay maybe I would."

Sirius barked a laugh and plunged into conversation, but Remus was pulled out by his phone buzzing against his thigh.

Gilderoy Lockhart – 31/12/2015 21:08 – Kingsley can't make the next recording – exam – you're on the team, congrats!

"Pads," Remus' hands were shaking. He patted Sirius on the shoulder repeatedly until he turned around, mid-laugh, and his grin dropped.

"Moons, are you okay?"

Remus couldn't speak. His stomach was churning.

"Remus?" He felt Lou's hand on his back, "I'll go and fetch Hope."

Sirius peeled Remus' phone from his grip and squinted at the screen, his jaw dropping open, before looking back up at Remus, a look of wonder on his face, "But this is great!"

"I think I'm going to vomit."

"You're going to be on TV!"

"Seriously, Pads. Me. Vomit. Your jacket."

Sirius frowned at him, "I'm just trying to look on the bright side."

"Sirius, shut up." Remus kicked him. He felt cold, despite his oversized Christmas jumper, and couldn't move, rooted to that one spot on the carpet, the needles of the Christmas tree poking against his back. Sirius just watched him, putting the phone screen-down on the carpet, shuffling backwards slightly to give Remus more room, which he appreciated.

Hope rushed in from the kitchen and squatted in front of her son, taking his face in her hands in a way that made Remus' head scream. He pulled back, screwing up his eyes and shaking his head.

"Mrs Lupin," Sirius placed a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to look at him, "We should leave him alone for a while, I think."

Hope searched Sirius' face with glassy eyes for a few seconds before nodding and straightening up, "Yes," She muttered to herself, "I'll make some tea."

Sirius got up and followed her, and Remus could see him murmuring to her, probably talking about him and how pathetic he was. His stomach was aching with worry. He was on the team. The actual team.

God help him.

"Okay, five minutes everyone!"

Remus had managed to stumble his way through a morning of rehearsals, answering the minimal amount of questions and going pale whenever he hit the buzzer, but he had made it. And here he was; sat at the end of the desk with his name in lights in front of him, and an audience staring right at him. Suddenly his best jumper didn't feel quite smart enough.

"Gilderoy, I can't do this," He muttered to the man next to him, who looked impeccable in a navy blazer and powder blue button-down, "I'm going to fuck it up for everyone."

Gilderoy sighed, having heard this five times that day already, "Remus, if I honestly believed that I would have picked Amos."

"But Lucius said first years never make the team," Remus fretted, "That must be for a reason!"

Gilderoy turned his head, obviously glaring at Lucius, who sent a false smile back, "Lucius doesn't know what he's talking about. You're our best reserve, you'll do fine, or whatever." Left without his phone to mess about with, Remus noted that Gilderoy was now tapping his index finger repeatedly on the desk in front of him as if impatient. Remus gulped.

He looked out to the audience, where he could see Sirius, Peter, James and, surprisingly, Lily sat in a row, chatting excitedly. James and Lily were sat suspiciously close, and – no, she couldn't have been – had she been smiling at James? Remus shook his head; clearly the stress was causing him to hallucinate.

The introductions went well – Remus managed to say his name and what he was reading without his tongue falling out, which was good, he supposed – and Jeremy Paxman hadn't made fun of him yet, which was what he had been having nightmares about.

"Your first starter for ten; the Light Programme was the forerunner of which BBC radio channel, to which it changed its name on September 30, 1967?" The presenter had barely read it out before someone pressed the buzzer,

"Durham, Lockhart," The voiceover said, and all eyes turned to Gilderoy, who smirked,

"Radio 2."

There were a few moments of silence that must have seemed longer to Remus than anyone else, before Paxman slapped his question card down on his desk,

"Correct. Your bonus questions are on post-Soviet States…"

It took a few starter questions before there were any that Remus even had an idea of an answer to, and he felt more like he was observing the game than actually participating. He slid his hand back from where it had lain by the buzzer, resigning himself to the backseat for the episode, hoping against hope that it wouldn't look obvious that he had given up when his mother watched it in a few months.

"Durham, your bonus questions are on opening lines of novels,"

Gilderoy elbowed Remus sharply in the ribs and he almost jumped out of his skin, allowing a ripple of laughter from the audience. His stomach twisted; they'd expect something from him now. He had to deliver. He had read a lot of novels, that was true, but there were also a lot of books in the world he'd never even heard of.

"Which novel, first published in serial form from 1914 to 1915, begins "Once upon a time and a very good time it was…"?"

Something lit up in Remus' brain. He knew this. He knew it! Didn't he? What was it then?

"That's Joyce," Gilderoy whispered to him, "Do you know which one, though?"

"It's one with a ridiculously long title, I remember that," Remus chewed on his lip.

"Let's have it, please," The presenter said, his voice sharp. Remus panicked.

"Nominate Lupin," Gilderoy leant towards the microphone slightly, before staring at Remus, who blinked.

"Uh, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man?" He sputtered.

"Can I have an author, please?"

"Joyce, James Joyce!" Remus' voice was squeaky, and he could feel his cheeks burning bright red. His eyes flicked in Sirius' direction, and he saw him give him the thumbs up. Remus' stomach settled a little.

"Correct. "It was a dark and stormy night"' are the first words of the 1830 novel Paul Clifford by which writer, whose other works include Eugene Aram and The Last Days of Pompeii?"

Gilderoy looked to Remus again, who held up his hands and shook his head, "No clue, sorry."

Gilderoy sighed, making Remus' stomach twist again, "Pass,"

"Edward Bulwer-Lytton" The presenter, put down another question card, "The novels Midnight's Children, The Thirty-Nine Steps, Robinson Crusoe and Tristram Shandy all open with which word?"

Remus had read The Thirty-Nine Steps in the summer before university, and furrowed his brow trying to remember the first word. His eyes searched for Sirius again, who was watching him with a concerned look. Remus considered for a moment that he might look as bad as he felt, and reached up to wipe sweat from the back of his neck. Yes, wearing a jumper had been a mistake.

"I think, uh, I think the answer is 'I'," Remus muttered to Gilderoy, who nodded, before turning to consult Trelawney. No one else seemed to have a better idea, and Gilderoy gave Remus' answer and received another five points for the team, before clapping Remus on the shoulder to congratulate him.

Remus managed to answer five more questions before the gong rang to signal that time was up. He had completely lost track of the scores and was surprised to find that Durham had beaten Lancaster University 140 to 135. Sirius was sure to assure him that it had been his five points that had won the quiz for them, which helped Remus feel a little less emotionally exhausted as they walked out of the building and into the dark, January air. As Sirius laughed his breath condensed in wisps in front of him, and he grinned up at Remus with so much pride in his eyes that Remus felt like he might just cry.

"You won, Moony," They stopped, letting the rest of the team and the supporters head off to the usual pub without them, "I can't believe it!"

Remus quirked an eyebrow, taking Sirius' hand in his own gloved fingers, "Are you saying you didn't expect it?" He grinned, "You're so rude."

Sirius' features were painted orange under the glow of the streetlamps, splashes of blue and green flashing on and off with the Christmas lights that hung above them, "You know you love it," He winked. Remus' expression softened,

"You know what, I actually do," His gaze dropped to the hand in his own, a pink hue appearing in his cheeks, "I love you, Pads."

Remus heard a sharp intake of breath, and shut his eyes, cringing.

"Sorry, I – I shouldn't have said that," He dropped Sirius' hand and buried his face in his gloves, "It's too soon, I know, I'm so embarrassing."

His hands were pulled away from his face by Sirius, who was smiling up at him, "Shut up, Moony," He rocked forwards onto his tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to Remus' lips, "I love you too."

And then, like the snowflakes that began to settle on the pavement around them, they melted together, and suddenly University Challenge was just a stupid TV show, and Sirius was the only thing in the whole world that mattered.