So this should wrap up this section of the story. This is the last little bit of Norm's plan. That doesn't mean that "Tales as Old as Time" is necessary finished. It just means that this "episode" is coming to a close. Which is good because that means no more of Mr. and Mrs. Adams!

Don't kill them. Don't kill the two idiots. He could hate them all that he wanted to, but this was the last time that he would ever need to deal with them. All he needed to do was get them to sign some papers and they would be out of Amanda's life for good. She would have the better life that his girl deserved. All he had to do was get through this meeting without giving in to the urge to murder the two humans.

Norm didn't bother to be subtle. He didn't have the patience to deal with it. He simply appeared in the Adams' living room with a cloud of colorful smoke and an echoing gong. He almost considered adding some lightning bolts to add a bit of flash to his entrance. It should be enough to intimidate his audience and leave them cowering in fear.

Unfortunately, he forgot to take into account that both of them would be working. His grand entrance ended up falling flat because there was no one else in the house.

Growling in frustration, Norm snapped his fingers and both of them appeared on the couch with a gong. And when their confused expressions only infuriated him further, he snapped his fingers again. With another gong, the memories of their last encounter were restored and their eyes widened in terror.

"Yep," he said sharply. "Me again."

"What do you want?" asked Mr. Adams. "We've barely even spoken to her since that day.

"I know. Good job on achieving the bare minimum. But here's the thing," Norm said with a sharp voice. "I still hate you both. And neither of you deserve to have Amanda. You don't want her and you certainly don't deserve her. So rather than, you know, making the kid suffer through this for the next decade, how about we take you out of the equation entirely?"

"Are you going to kill us?" asked Mrs. Adams.

"Tempting. Oh, so tempting. But afraid not. If I do that, the wand-wavers will use it as evidence that I'm enacting some evil plot and that's a headache that I have no patience for." He snapped his fingers and a stack of papers appeared on the coffee table with a gong. Norm continued in a curt tone, "So here's what you're going to do. For once in your miserable lives, you're going to do the right thing for Amanda. You two are going to sign over custody to me and give up all your parental right over her."

"Why?" asked her father. "What could you possibly want with her?"

The man's tone, as if he could not even conceive the idea that someone might want the child, set Norm's teeth on edge. The temptation to murder them in particularly creative ways welled up once again before he shoved it down. They would never see Amanda like he did. They would never see how unique and amazing the child truly was. He should stop being surprised by their heartlessness.

"You're not even human," Mrs. Adams added, fear not enough to keep her silent. "How could you have custody of her?"

"With a lot of paperwork," said Norm dryly. "Paperwork awaiting your signatures. And you're going to sign it and give me guardianship of Amanda or else I will make there rest of your lives as absolutely painful as possible. You'll live, but you'll wish for death. So what's it going to be? Give me the kid you can't even appreciate properly or run the risk of really ticking me off?"

His decidedly-not-friendly smile managed to make the two humans grow pale with fear. They were terrified of him. And maybe if they possessed a hint of parental instincts, they might have hesitated to sign over their daughter to someone who scared them so much. But they weren't exceptions like Amanda. He could predict their reactions with very little trouble. Norm knew the pair would sell out their own child without hesitation.

"Do… do you have a pen?" asked Mrs. Adams.

He snapped sharply, a pair of pens materializing with a gong. And then the genie snapped again. The humans yelped in surprise as he summoned a new strange creature with a second gong.

"Who's that?" asked the man.

"What's that?" his wife added, apparently a little more observant about the floating.

"Mr. Sanderson," Norm answered. "At least, I'm pretty sure that's Sanderson. They look a lot alike and I can't keep track of them very well." He shook his head briefly. "Anyway, apparently to make this whole thing legal and binding, a notary needs to witness the signing. And guess who is a recognized notary public for this state?"

"Multiple states," corrected Sanderson in a dull voice. "Utah is next on my list."

"Since you guys are still mostly trapped in that pocket dimension, Utah might have to wait. Unless you mean your version of it," Norm said. Turning his attention back towards the confused and nervous humans, he said sharply, 'What are you waiting for? I'm not giving Sanderson a brief vacation for no reason. Start signing. Now."

"Okay, while leaving a note was nice, Norm really needs to give us a heads up before he kidnaps someone," muttered Timmy grumpily.

"When will Wanda be home?" Cosmo asked anxiously.

"You read the same note I did. It doesn't say."

"Poof poof?"

"I don't know what's going on. I don't know what Norm wants with Wanda."

The three of them were flopped on Timmy's bed, staring at the ceiling. Cosmo didn't like being separated from his wife, Poof missed his mom, and Timmy was just frustrated by the entire situation. Whatever was going on with Norm and Amanda was taking a long time and apparently required his fairy godmother.

Hopefully someone would tell them what was happening eventually.

People would expect a genie who spent the majority of his existence confined in a tiny space for centuries at a time to possess a decent supply of patience. But looming over the two humans, making certain that they didn't forget a single signature, proved that concept to be completely false. Norm wanted to do anything else. He wanted to send the two heartless idiots to a distant planet. He wanted to torment the Canadians. He wanted to go back and see if Amanda had calmed down yet. But he stayed there, glaring at the pair.

Once their initial fear of him and the pixie who watched steadily began to dull, the two of them started complaining. They didn't want to take orders from strange magical creatures. They wanted to know what authority Norm possessed to do this. They questioned the legality of the contract (something that made Sanderson almost glare at them). They wanted compensation for the trouble.

Never once did they want to know if their daughter would be safe.

Every time they complained, Norm glared at them sharply and silenced the pair temporarily. But it was only a short-term solution because they would always start up again. And unless he felt like terrifying them into compliance with magic again and hoping that fear didn't leave them shaking too much to write, it was the best he could do.

Regardless, the entire process was boring and frustrating. Norm absolutely hated it. Sending them to a desolate planet would be so much easier. But he wasn't going to waste his hard work now.

"There should only be a few more signatures on these last pages," said Sanderson, sliding a final small packet of papers. "Once complete, our business will be concluded."

"Good," Mr. Adams said sharply. "I still say we deserve compensation."

"I'm starting to think I deserve compensation for dealing with you two," grumbled Norm.

"But we're giving you something you want," he continued. "I still don't know why, but you want that girl. We deserve to get something in return."

Sanderson floated back a little, moving slowly and quietly to avoid drawing attention to himself. The pixie might not be the more expression with his feelings, but he had the sense to recognize when someone's emotional state was growing dangerous. The humans didn't seem to have that survival instinct.

"Are you," said Norm, his voice calmer and steadier than he expected it to be, "trying to sell your daughter? Like Amanda was some kind of knickknack?"

Their eyes widened. Maybe something in his tone finally clued the pair into the seriousness of the situation. Or maybe they were picking up on the excessive amount of magic practically crackling in the air around them, though he doubted the idiots recognized the sensation for what it truly was. Norm could barely hold back the absolute and murderous fury as it flared up. Keeping a firmer rein on his power would be too much to ask. Not vaporizing the humans was the most someone could ask of him at that moment.

"We've spent all that time and money on her," Mrs. Adams said, her voice shaking slightly. "Shouldn't we get something back?"

"You were her parents," said Norm, cold and sharp as ice. "Genies might not be big on the concept, but I know that kids don't owe parents anything. Kids don't ask to exist, to depend on those around them for their needs. You were supposed to do what's best for her because she was your daughter. But you never did. You only did the bare minimum to keep her alive and out of the way. And you made her pay for that much with her self-esteem and self-worth, tearing her down every chance you got."

He took a steadying breath, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Don't kill them. No matter how tempting, don't kill them. It was almost over.

"Finish signing," said Norm tensely. "Finish signing, give Amanda to me, and your compensation will be that you'll never see me again. Your compensation will be that I won't give you exactly what you deserve."

With only a brief hesitation, the pair returned to the paperwork. There was no more chatter. The only sound for the next few moments was the scribbling of pens. Norm used the time to force himself to calm down.

Finally, the last line was signed and they pushed the papers away. Sanderson pulled out a stamp to notarize them. The pixie finished the task swiftly and efficiently, just like his species did with all forms of paperwork.

Norm snapped and sent the documents to the appropriate locations with a gong. With them properly filed, the adoption was now official.

He was Amanda's guardian.

Smugly glaring at the two adult humans for that last time, Norm added, "Oh, and just in case you were wondering, everything in her bedroom belongs to the kid. All of it. So I'm taking it with me. And if you try to argue because you want to make some money off it in a yard sale, I swear I'll send you home with Sanderson."

The first hint that Wanda received that Norm was returning was furniture, clothes, and a handful of toys appearing in the house with a gong. Not enough for the entire house. Probably enough for one bedroom, which is probably where it originally came from. The noise of the materializing items didn't even disturb Amanda, the girl worn out by her stressful day and currently sleeping on the beanbag chair.

The fairy waited a few more minutes. Unsurprisingly, a second gong rang out with a cloud of colorful smoke.

"That took a while," said Wanda, glancing at the newly-arrived genie. "Longer than I expected."

Acting as if he didn't hear her, Norm asked, "How's the kid?"

"She's sleeping," said Wanda. She could see the moment he spotted her on the beanbag, his shoulders relaxing noticeably. "She's still a bit overwhelmed, but Amanda calmed down after a little while. She is happy about this. She just felt guilty about being happy and trying to deal with the change. But she should be doing better when she wakes up."

"Good," he said, sounding a little awkward. "That's good." The genie glanced at Wanda. "Thanks for watching over her."

"She was no trouble at all. Though a little warning ahead of time would be nice if this sort of thing comes up again."

He gave her a short nod before floating towards Amanda. Rather than immediately heading home, Wanda watched a moment in silence. She saw Norm carefully scoop up his girl while humming softly. She normally would have rolled her eyes at the tune from Fairy Idol, but the expression on his face as he floated towards the bed with the child in his arms left Wanda with a fond smile.

Those two would be just fine together.

And so it is now completely official. Norm has guardianship of the kid. Which means I don't have to write about her horrible parents anymore. Because as much as you guys hated them, imagine how much I wanted to send them to Mars.