New story, yay. Hope you all like this as much as I like writing it. Stick along for the ride, it's a big one (I hope). Don't forget to leave a review!

The transmutation was a rebound, just like the human transmutation they had performed so many years before.

Once more, the blonde haired boy screamed as Truth grabbed him forcefully. The black coils were wrapped tightly around him. First they grabbed his neck, almost cutting off his air supply. Then they wrapped themselves tightly around the boy's two flesh arms. Finally they took hold of his automail leg, the one limb that was never returned to him and which served as a reminder of his stupidity many years before, and his flesh leg, rendering Edward unable to escape the creepy bastard. Mentally, he sighed. Knowing it was useless to fight, he allowed Truth to take him to the Gate, to the familiar white space between the two parallel worlds.

To a place that he had never wanted to return again, but you know, Truth is a bigger bastard than the stupid Lame - no, Flame Alchemist - himself.

Once he landed in the white nothingness however, Edward went into his fit of rage.

"How dare you take me again, you fuckin' bastard!" the hotheaded teenager screamed at the top of his lungs. Truth merely grinned as he continued. "What do you want now, you damn stupid thing?" Edward seethed.

"Nothing much," Truth grinned, and Edward could tell by the look on its face that he had something special in store for him. Manipulative bastard. He was almost as bad as the Colonel - no, Brigadier General - sometimes. "What were you doing?"

Now Edward was baffled by the question. It wasn't like Truth to ask such a thing. Didn't it already know what he was doing? After a few seconds, he muttered a single word. "Al."

"Trying to bring him back so soon, eh?" The corner of Truth's mouth smiled. "Well, mister Alchemist," it said, enunciating every syllable of the word alchemist, "I'll make a deal with you. I will let Alphonse return to your world if, and only if, you choose to do me one small favor. Call it Equivalent Exchange."

"And what might that be?" Edward asked, the corner of his lips curling upward. It wasn't every day Truth asked you to do something in exchange for something (or someone, in Edward's case) in return. "Shall I tap dance for you? Sing? Recite a fluffy poem composed by the General Bastard himself?"

"I would be so inclined for you to kiss this General Bastard," Truth started but stopped as the teenager protested against the idea, "but that's not what I want. You see, mister Alchemist, there is a parallel world similar to the one you reside in now." Taking in the confusion written on Edward's face, it continued. "In this parallel world, they don't use Alchemy for everyday purposes. Hell, Alchemy is considered a damn dead art in their world. Instead, they use magic to get around."

Edward raised his hand up, telling Truth to shut up for a moment. The blonde haired boy breathed in a large amount of air, and sputtered out, "Magic. Doesn't. Exist. Fuck, it goes against all the damn fuckin' laws of science! You can't just make something appear like that!" He snapped his fingers once. "Magic doesn't exist, and you know it, Truth!"

"Yes well, this parallel world enjoys defying all the laws we've set out thus far. However, magic should be the least of your concerns." Truth got up and opened the gate behind it. Edward looked down, seeing a world filled with seemingly dead grass and dirt everywhere. Despite the ugly landscape, Edward swore he could feel the energy radiating off of the surface. "This is the world known as the Wizarding World, the parallel world I was talking about. Here lies a new kind of enemy, Lord Voldemort, a man seeking immortality."

"Let me guess, he wants a Philosopher's Stone," Edward growled at the mention of the name. After years of running around the country looking for the stone - and eventually learning of its contents, the teenager hated nothing more than the blood red stone. It brought too much pain, too much trouble, for the taker and everyone around him.

"Don't interrupt me, mister Alchemist," Truth reprimanded. Edward let out a grunt that sounded like a 'whatever you say, bastard'. Truth pretended not to hear it, though. "Right now, he wants the Philosopher's Stone, believing the stone can restore a body, his own body."

"What happened to his own?" Edward asked in a condescending tone.

"He, well, I'm assuming he lost it when he got defeated by the infant," Truth shrugged.

"He what?" Edward exclaimed, laughing. "He - got - defeated - by - a - baby!" he repeated in between giggles. "That has got to be the greatest thing I've heard since Winry said she was going to be pregnant!"

"Yes well, that is the truth. This Lord Voldemort has been living for the past, say eleven years, in several wizards' bodies, attached to them for life support. I do not know which body he is with right now, but surely you could find out?" Truth revealed a wicked grin on his face.

"And how might I do that? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly one of them." Edward pointed to a cluster of wizards wearing black cloaks. The blonde haired teenager regarded the outfits as gaudy and 'wouldn't wear that in a million years, bastard'. He already could not stand the standard military blues that all members of the military were expected to wear, but this looks a million times worse. Hell, he would much rather wear the navy blue uniform than this horrific cloak!

"Yes, you are. Alchemy is a form of wizarding science, and so you are capable of performing it, not to mention you can also see the Wizarding World. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you to carry out this job." Truth looked up at the boy, studying his facial emotions.

To no surprise, Truth found the kid's expression quite amusing. His face was scrunched together, trying to make sense of what it was telling him, what it was basically commanding him to believe. Confusion was a part of his mixed emotions, not understanding how Alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange could be bypassed. Surely he might find out, should he choose to accept Truth's offer. It was counting on him to accept the offer, or Amestris's parallel world may collapse.

After a long moment of silence, Edward finally spoke up. "So I can perform this...this hocus pocus abracadabra business." Making a show just for the heck of it, he waved his arms around, pretending to perform magic. Although he looked like he was starting to believe in this nonsense, he also seemed hesitant about what he just said, but Truth couldn't blame the teenager. After all, he just lived what, seventeen years of knowing nothing but science. Magic was simply something so foreign to the boy.

"Yes," Truth responded solemnly. "Your task is to go to the Wizarding World and act as a bodyguard to the Potter boy. No doubt he will be just as reckless and dangerous as you are," it added as an afterthought.

"I am not reckless, nor dangerous!" Edward screamed, flailing his two flesh arms in all directions. The boy stamped his automail foot on ground, much like a two year old when he wanted something and his mother wouldn't give in. The metal limb made a clanking sound as it hit the ground.

Truth smirked, knowing the words have had the intended effect on the young man. Annoying the former State Alchemist was high up on the to-do list. "Of course you aren't," Truth said in a dismissive sort of tone. "The Potter boy is also caring, compassionate, and downright reckless when he chooses to be."

Edward snarled at the remark, eyes narrowing down at the white body of nothingness. "So my job is to be a bodyguard for the Potter boy? What's this got to do with anything? Can't he get his own? Why does it have to be me?" he whined.

Truth laughed. "You ask so many questions, mister Alchemist. I suppose I can give you some answers, but the rest you can learn on your own. First off, yes. If you so choose to accept my offer, you are to be a bodyguard for the Potter boy. He is, after all, the Boy who Lived."

"The what?" Edward spat, chortling at the mere name. "I think I like mine better. Hero of the People, much better sounding than - than that name!" Then the blonde teenager fell over in hysterics. The Boy who Lived, what a stupid name! Who even thought of that one?

Truth allowed him a few moments to laugh. "I didn't name the boy. He defeated Lord Voldemort and earned himself the title. His own fault, I guess."

"So you want me to protect the boy who vanquished Lord Moldypants? Alright." Edward crossed his arms. "What next?"

"Have you ever gone undercover before?" Truth inquired, obviously oblivious to the thousands of missions Mustang had sent the alchemist on that were undercover. For all of those missions, Alphonse had to stay behind since he was nothing but a piece of armor. Edward hated those missions because he had to stay away from his brother for a period of time. Luckily, none of them had exceeded a period of two weeks.

"Yeah." Edward shuffled around. "Those missions sucked. Couldn't be with Alphonse for a couple of weeks. Damn General Sparky."

"This mission will have to be undercover as well," Truth said. "You're experienced in that field, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Edward continued to shuffle his feet around aimlessly. "Who am I going as? The bastard? Havoc? Wouldn't mind being him for a whole year, 'cept for the whole smoking thing. I don't do that shit."

"New name, new personality, new everything." Truth closed the Gate to the Wizarding World and opened up a roll of parchment paper. Edward stared at the foreign paper, observing its properties and its uses. "Thinking about alchemy, are you now, mister Alchemist?"

"Maybe. What does it mean to you?" Edward huffed.

"Remember what I proposed. One year at this school, and I will return Alphonse to Amestris," Truth reminded him. "As for your disguise, you shall be going into this world as an Amestrian ambassador to them. Of course, they already are aware of this parallel world, or at least the person that'll be your greatest asset is aware. Now, the real question is, would you rather be teaching Alchemy or learning magic?"

Edward contemplated the question deeply. Both options were ideal in their own manner; it was just a matter of picking the one that would benefit him the most. Instead of answering the question, he asked, "What do I get out of them?"

"Very interesting question, mister Alchemist. Let's see, as an Alchemy professor at Hogwarts - " Truth began, but Edward cut it off quickly.

"Pigfarts?" he asked incredulously. The name was hilarious, to say the least. However, the young alchemist did not burst out in laughter as he had done so earlier. "What kind of name is that? Is that like a mental institution for the crazy minded like you?"

"You think so highly of me, Edward Elric," Truth said in a sarcastic manner. In a more serious tone, it rambled on. "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a prestigious boarding school that teaches witches and wizards alike from the ages of eleven to seventeen, as they hone their magical ability. As many would say, Hogwarts is the safest place out of all the places in the Wizarding World. Nowhere else is safer than Hogwarts."

"Alright, shut up you idiot, before you make a fool out of yourself," Edward said, shaking his head. Truth's change in tone had caught the young man off guard, and he hadn't liked that one bit, nor the speech it had just given. These days, Truth liked to ramble on and on with useless information. It gave Edward and whomever crossed the Gate a massive headache. "Are you gonna tell me about my fuckin' disguise or shall I waltz into this new world and - "

"Now it's your turn to be quiet," Truth responded with a wicked grin. "You're going to Hogwarts and you're going to be an Amestrian ambassador. At the same time, you will also be the new Alchemy professor - "

"I thought I was gonna pick the job I wanted, not you picking for me, you dumb bastard!" Edward yelled.

Honestly, it was a miracle that Brigadier General Mustang, or General Bastard as the boy liked to call him, and his team still had their hearing after working with this hotheaded, stubborn brat after all these years. Truth would have to give them something at this point for tolerating his rants for these long four (or was it five now?) years of being with the State. But of course, the first law of alchemy must be abided. Equivalent Exchange can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

"You took too long. The mission has to start sometime, y'know. I don't have all day to wait for your answer, mister Alchemist. Therefore, you are now the new Alchemy teacher at Hogwarts, as well as the Amestrian ambassador. Of course, no such position exists, so I will forge some documents and make a position."

"You'd do all that paperwork just for one stupid mission?" Edward inquired dubiously. If Truth said yes, then this bastard could be more reliable than the damn Sparky himself. His lips curled into a smile; at least someone around here has a good work ethic, even if it's Truth.

"I'm desperate, okay?" Truth looked away. "I don't want to see these worlds collapse because someone went out of line, or a mission went badly, or…" It trailed off, pondering over the possibilities of something going wrong. "Anyways, I believe that you can do a fine job, and I, er, trust you to not be a stupid, reckless bastard all the time, and well, don't screw up!"

"Yes, yes," Edward dismissed with a flick of his hand. "So, go in, protect Potter boy, pretend to be an ambassador for this world and teach Alchemy to a bunch of kids. That all?"

"For now, yes. Unless the headmaster decides to give you more tasks, I have nothing else for you, mister Alchemist. Tell me now, are you ready to begin your new life?" Truth asked, gesturing to the Gate behind it.

Edward gulped. What else can there really be at this point? He took a moment to think the entire plan over. Will this actually work? Can this Potter kid really be as reckless as Truth says? Edward knew that he was reckless (to a certain extent), but he only did it if there wasn't another way around it (which was most of the time since he got into too many fights without thinking rationally). Finally, he sighed, realizing that there wasn't anything else left to say. Perhaps it is time to just jump in and brace himself for whatever will happen.

Slowly, Edward nodded. "'M ready."

"Good luck, Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist."

Truth opened up its Gate again, allowing itself and Edward to take another peek of Edward's new home for the next year. The young man inhaled deeply, and Truth took the opportunity to push him into the other side of the Gate, into the Wizarding World. After Edward descended out of view, Truth shut the Gate once more, sitting down with a smile upon its face.

"Good luck, Edward Elric," it repeated once more.

No one noticed Alphonse hiding behind Truth's Gate, and no one realized he had heard every single world his brother and Truth had exchanged to one another while they were in the white space.

Please leave a review; all are appreciated. Update: whenever the next chapter gets done.