"Something crazy is going to happen. I don't know what but it's going to be crazy. And I'm not going to be able to stop it if it get's through." Once again we find our Vigilante protagonist sitting alone in a body of water. Everyone had decided after Tao's little impersonation of a shark that it was best to leave. Mainly because of the incredibly strong glare Carl was now sporting. Ada liked to call it "The Patriarch's Stare" after her father Relius's exact same and equaly frightening glare. She would never mention that to Carl though; not in this life time. Currently Carl was sitting in the middle of the hot spring trying to figure out what would CERTAINLY happen next. "It is going to happen here and I have to stop it. But where is it going to come from?"

Carl looked around the entire pool. Any crack, any gap, any opening and SOMETHING would happen. Tao would jump up out of nowhere and take him on a trip through space, maybe Bang would have him hunt for tapioca in order to save the world from mutated pandas or maybe the Black Beast would get into a drunken dance off with Azrael and the Imperator! Anything could happen and anything would happen and he had to make sure it didn't. Like maybe someone who previously died would come back for no adequately explained reason and have some kind of weird super power! With a freaky green glow like in the cartoons! "Maybe it turns out that Relius isn't my father BUT WAS REALLY ME FROM THE FUTURE WHO TRAVELED INTO THE PAST USING A CAULDRON AND I'M REALLY MY OWN FATHER!...No, that sounds stupid. And overly complicated. And kind of gross." As Carl began to rethink his supposed "logical conclusions" a faint green glow was quickly falling out of the sky. As if by magic, a vengeful god or just really bad luck it was aimed right at Carl. It's glow was beginning to cover Carl completely so of course the boy looked up.

"Huh, was the sun always green?" As the green glow got closer and closer it became more and more clear what it was. "It that...a person?" It was falling fast and getting closer and Carl had no way to slow it down. "Maybe it will burn up before it hits." It's speed increased. "Maybe it's friendly." It was nearly there. "Maybe I'm doomed." It was right on top of Carl and it was aimed dead center and Carl had no where to go now. It seems are dear hero's story has come to an end-Oh he stepped slightly to the right. AND CRASH!

As it hit the center of the hot spring all the water was forced up into the air in one huge burst with Carl pulled upward as well. The sound could only be compared to the sound a meteor makes after it finally makes impact. All of Kagutsuchi was certain to have heard it and if not at least felt it. Carl had his arms behind his head and his legs crossed in a rather comfortable position. "If I'm going to die at least I'll die composed like the gentleman I am." As the water reached it's highest point it quckly dropped back down with Carl in tow. Just before impact Carl decided to share what could possibly be his last two cents. "Oh, screw being a gentleman! Suck it Fate!" Carl flipped off the sky. AND CRASH!... AGAIN!

Once again Carl greeted the empty expanse that was the unconsiousness. Is it bad he was getting used to this? Tomorrow he was definitely going to the doctor's office and maybe a therapist. "Actually, I should probably see a psychiatist. Actually, in hindsight maybe I sound have done that immediately AFTER Ada got turned into Nirvana. Two years isn't too late to cure the mental scars, right?" As Carl began to ponder all that things he, quite frankly, should have thought about before getting into this mess he suddenly felt a light pressure on his chest. "Maybe my soul is being pulled out of my chest. Does your whole body go to Heaven or just your soul? Oh who am I kidding, if I'm going anywhere it's definitely not Heaven." The pressure was getting heavier and heavier and it felt like air was being pushed into his lungs from somewhere close. "I'm probably in Limbo or something. I'm not going to have to carry a rock around for eternity am I?"

"Please awaken. Analyze shows your heart rate decreasing steadily. Please awaken." A voice could be heard from the empty expanse. It was incredible monotone and could easily be determined to be female.

"Huh, so God's female? Well I won't question it. If my father's the Devil then I'm probably the Anti-Christ anyway." He wasn't going to fight this anymore. If it was his time then there was nothing be could do about it. "Just hope Ada can get by without me. Oh, why I am I worried, Ada was always better than me at everything so she's probably better off without me." The pressure on his chest was reaching a fever pitch and the air in his lungs was pushing in with more gusto.

"Please return to functional capacity. I am doing all I can but you must fight as well. Please awaken."

"You want me to wake up?" Carl wasn't sure how he was suppose to wake up but if God said so then he guessed he had to try. "Alright, just make sure nothing awkward happens OK? Please and thank you." The pressure on is chest was gone but this air in his lungs was still present. In fact it started to feel like something was pushed against his face. Something soft and warm. It felt nice and...why did his mouth feel slimy?

Then the light hit Carl's face.

*COUGH!* Carl lerched forward in one quick motion. He attempted to take great big gasps of air and his whole body felt cold. He turned over and got on his knees as water was hurled out of his chest though his mouth. As the water left his body Carl took in as much air as he could. It seems he would not be meeting his maker this day. *GASP!* "That's the last time I tempt fate. Fate doesn't like being tempted."

"You are no longer in danger of drowning. Lambda's mission was successful. Yay for Lambda." Carl turned to his left to see the person who had most likely saved him. Her voice was in the same monotone he had heard before and she had a small smile on her face. As she congratulated herself she lightly fist pumped the air in a rather awkward and slow fashion. She probably had never done that before but always wanted to. She was wearing some rather odd clothing and had a visor coving her face. Then it hit him.

"You're the girl from before. The girl who attacked Sis and I." Carl looked at the girl with a rather confused expression. He had only met this girl once before but if memory serves she very likely works for Sector Seven.

"You are the wielder of Deus Machina: Nirvana. We had met previously on Master Kokonoe's orders. Lambda remembers you started crying."

"That's not my sister's name!" Carl would have commented on the crying part but he honestly couldn't deny it. He is an emotional person, no point in trying to save face. The girl simply nodded her head once and stared at him. Coughing lightly into his hand, Carl tried his best to act polite with the strange girl. She did save his life after all. "Anyway, thank you for saving me. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up."

"If Lambda had not apppeared you would lost likely be relativly unharmed. Due to Lambda's unplanned landing, the situation which caused your near-fatal experience to occur was Lambda's doing." The girl, who's name was most likely Lambda if this reviting conversation was anything to go by, continued to stare at Carl as she spoke in the most robotic monotone he had ever heard.

"Well..." The girl was articulate, that much was certain. "...You still saved me. Even if it was your fault...And my fault for not getting out of the way. That was idiotic." Carl felt like slapping himself in the face. What person sees a glowing mass of energy come twords them and just stands there! At least he now knew what it was he was waiting for. Now on to stage two. Avoiding the situation at all costs! "Well, it was nice meeting you Miss Lambda and once again thank you for saving me but I really must be going. Places to be, Fathers to kill, you know normal stuff. Hope to meet you again someday. Goodbye!" Carl started running down the spring at break neck pace and began to distance himself from the girl. Lambda continued to look on with a blank expression. This would be a snap! No more hijinks for this Clover. Nuh-uh. No way, no how. Absolutely not-

"Warping Space." And in an instant everything started getting less fast and more...not fast. Carl looked down at his feet and found he was both running in place and also surrounded by a strange barrier. Looking back up Carl could see Lambda in front of him, floating mind you, with her hands outstretched. Carl continued to run in place as Lambda spoke. "Lambda would like to know your name, if at all possible." Carl didn't stop running. In fact he got faster as he responded to the girl.

"Carl Clover. Now please let me go on my way!"

"Searching...searching...searching..." The barrier still surrounded Carl as Lambda processed the newly received data. Carl was leaving literal dust behind him at this point as he tried to escape the gravitational pull of Lambda's barrier. He was still failing horribly but give the guy an A for effort. "Search complete. Subject: Carl Clover. World renowned Vigilante and wielder of...what is your sister's name?"

Carl stopped running and took in huge gaps of air. Sweat was falling down his face and entire torso. Maybe it was a good thing he was only wearing a loincloth? His clothes at least wouldn't get ruined with sweat. As he calmed down he stood straight and stared Lambda down. 'Why should I answer your questions if you're practically holding me hostage?' Lambda just continued to stare at Carl, waiting for his response. Finally getting tried of looking at Lambda's one eye Carl relented. "Ada. Her name is Ada Clover."

"Wielder of Ada Clover and son of Ignis and Rel...Rel...R-Re-REL-rE-eL-Re!" Lambda head started twitching to the right in quick bursts. Her arms started shaking and her one eye started blinking in and out. She continued her repetition of the beginning of his father's name as if she were a broken record. The barrier below Carl disappeared as Lambda continued to have her meltdown. Finally, Carl simply finished the sentence for her.

"Relius Clover?" At that moment an audible record scratch could be heard coming from Lambda's head. One arm positioned behind her back and the other shot straight up with her head still pointed to the right. She looked like the most poorly postioned human statue ever. Finally she returned to a normal standing postion. She stared at Carl once again with that strange single eye of her's. Finally she spoke.

"Your father is Professor Relius Clover?"

Carl looked to the left and right in visible confusion. 'Did she just have a seizure or something? Was that normal? Are we suppose to pretend that didn't happen? Are you going to freak out again?' Carl silently prayed that she wouldn't. Taking a deep breath he answered her. "Yes?"

A brief pause annnnnnd...

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" With a window shattering scream Lambda shot into the air at high speed. Carl ducked and covered his ears as the girl continued her screaming as she flew into the city. "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Rising up from the ground Carl looked on as the girl flew, never turning his gaze until she was out of sight. He stood there in silence as a horrible feeling of dread washed over him. "There's going to be trouble. And it's going to suck. Hard."

"MASTER CARL!" Turning Carl spotted Bang, Ada and Tao as they ran towards him.

'Ever notice how all the exciting stuff happens when everyone's not actually here to see it.' Carl didn't know what he did to make the universe hate him but it clearly had a sense of humor.

"A METEOR HIT! It was like a GREAT GREEN DRAGON had flown out of heaven! I was certain we would not be finding you in once piece!" Bang put his arm around Carl in his best impression of a fatherly gesture. "But why was I worried! No disciple of mine, BANG SHISHIGAMI, could ever hope to be bested my a meer rock from space! HA-HA-HA-HAA!" Carl simple looked up at the man with a blank expression. He was rather certain that if it had been a meteor there would be no Kagetsuchi let alone a still functioning hot spring. Meanwhile, Ada was examining Carl's face for any signs of scratches or bruishes as Tao snuggled into his chest. At least everyone was happy he was alive. But why was Ada wearing a numbered jersey and a crown that said "Queen of the Clap Loop"? She clearly noticed her brother's confusion.

I'll tell you later.

"Okay then. I'm sure that's not anything major." Sarcasm was the only real way to respond to something like that. Speaking of things that should only be regarded with sarcasm. "Miss Kitty, it would be wonderful if you could let go of me now. I'm rather sweaty, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Mmmmm~ Tao's happy Shorty's OK, meow!" She continued to rub her head against Carl's chest. Carl really hoped this wouldn't become a habit. Tao has already groped every girl and woman in Kagetsuchi and really didn't need Tao's "hobbies" extending to his own chest.

"Master Carl, where is that meteor? Did it disintegrate on impact?" Carl turned to Bang and then turned to the city. Bang followed his gaze as he tried to focus on what Carl was looking at. "What is it, Master Carl?"

'That girl is going to show up again. That's always how these stories go. O'well, she saved my life so that's not so bad. Yeah, she saved me. I guess I-wait. She saved me...by using...' Then as Carl looked on into the city he suddenly came to a realization.

"CPR!"

"Excuse me, Master Carl?"

"IT WAS CPR!"

Author's Note: So this was a thing. Don't ask me when this story takes place. It's going to be some strange amalgamation of everything. But I don't know how I feel about this. Good? Bad? Feel free to let me know.

Blazblue is property of Yuuki Terumi and the Sunshine Band.