House of Church

Author's Note: A new story by me and for a fandom I've never written before, but have been heavily invested in for a while. I just recently rewatched all twelve current seasons this past month AND the season 13 premier began last Wednesday, so I'm pumped (that premier though... while being the best RvB season opener ever... of all time... is totally an indicator that season 13 is going to WRECK my shit and transform me into hysterical sobbing emotional puddles of mush on the floor - I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT!). This two-shot features one of my FAVORITE RvB headcanons - CarWash (Carolina&Washington) siblings - and this story is my take on how they get their names (I make the assumption that Carolina is her actual name, though honestly we have no clue).

PS: I'm totally making up the years because I have no idea how old they are, but this particular year would put Carolina older than the start of the Covenant War which is the year 2525, so the Insurrection is still going strong and occupying a good portion of the UNSC's time.

Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue and I'm merely playing around in the sandbox of their creation and exploring ideas and thoughts.

Carolina

Year 2516

"It's a girl."

Leonard could hardly believe his eyes – he silently mouthed the words 'son of a bitch' as he watched the doctors clean up the screaming infant – at how tiny she was! Her skin was pink and her eyes were screwed shut, so he couldn't see the blue eyes that he knew all babies had (he wondered what color she would end up with), but the baby, his daughter – his daughter! – appeared to have auburn-colored hair, thought it was hard to tell because her head was still wet. He briefly and pointlessly wondered if Allison had any redheads in her family, not that they would ever know given that she was raised in a maximum security orphanage.

At the thought of his wife, Leonard turned his attention completely on her and watched her intently. Her eyes were closed and her long, straight blond hair was soaked with sweat, but her breathing was even and controlled like she was just going through one of her usual military training exercises and Leonard smiled as he closed his hand over hers. Of course his Allison could handle it. If anyone didn't know Allison, they wouldn't believe that she'd just spent the past few hours of labor violently swearing that she would tear off his dick and curbstomp his balls for the hell that was birthing a baby. If Leonard didn't know her so well, he'd have believed she was completely fucking serious. Seeing her so calm so soon afterward was proof for Leonard that she'd only been half serious about her threats. Lucky him.

Leonard leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the side of his wife's hand and squeezed her hand gently. "You did good, sweetheart. You did good," Leonard whispered and then grinned as he glanced over at the newly wrapped bundle of blankets. "But I was right. The baby's a girl."

Allison gave a heavy sigh and Leonard pulled back to watch her open her tired blue-gray eyes and focus on their daughter. She took her from the doctors when their baby was offered to her and drew her to her breast without a word, but the tenderest of expressions he had ever seen on her beautiful face.

Nobody could have guessed that the very first words the new mother would utter in the presence of their newborn would be "Mother fucker…" Even Leonard startled at that, but her expression was still warm and her tone still gentle and he understood a little bit. He and Allison of all people could create something as beautiful and precious as this? Mother fucker indeed.

"Well, it looks like you have the right to name her, Len," Allison said with a resigned sigh. "Just don't pick something stupid or I will have to kick your ass for it."

"No pressure," Leonard muttered sarcastically, but pressed a kiss to his wife's temple. He'd had a name picked out ever since they'd agreed to their little bet. "I want to name her Carolina."

"Carolina? That's actually a decent name, and slightly different from..." she trailed off and her brow furrowed and he gulped as she turned her intense blue-gray eyes on him. "Are you picking Carolina because it's a variant of Caroline or because it's the name of two of the states?" she asked.

"...Which one of those answers is less likely to get me pummeled or killed?"

"Leonard!"

"I plead the fifth?"

"You want to name her after the state, don't you?" Allison groaned as she leaned back against the propped-up mattress, their daughter completely undisturbed by her mother's movements.

Now that he seemed to be in the clear, Leonard breathed a silent sigh of relief. "I just wanted to continue a family tradition, Tex," he explained softly and he saw her soften as soon as he called her by the nickname that she'd treated as a full name for far longer than he'd known her true name was Allison, let alone been allowed to call her that. "And I did my research. I could have picked any of the other forty-eight states or the District of Columbia, but I chose one that at least has several variations. It won't be as obvious that she's named after a state as opposed to if I had picked Florida or Alabama."

"What about Virginia or Georgia?" Allison pointed out.

Leonard made a bitter face and it got a smirk out of his nursing wife. "Get off my back, woman! I just like Carolina as a name better, that's all!"

Allison gave a low, soft laugh and squeezed his hand with the one she'd just freed up after having adjusted her arms holding their daughter. It was both impressive and scary that their baby was so tiny that Allison could hold her entire body while also supporting her head with only one arm.

"As long as you're being honest with yourself about why you really want the name, dear, but alright, I concede. Heaven knows that you could have picked something much worse and more abnormal as a name for our daughter."

Leonard bristled slightly. "Hey, my naming choices are fine. You just can't appreciate their brilliance."

"What the hell is 'brilliant' about naming your dog in middle school Sir. Runaround?!" Allison spluttered.

"Well at least I didn't name my black cat Soot, because that's so damn original!"

"At least having a common name means not getting picked on in school, Leonard!"

"And that's exactly why I picked Carolina; because it's normal!"

"Jesus fuck, we're agreeing with each other!" Allison exclaimed suddenly.

Her outburst caused Leonard to instantly frown in confusion. "You're right. What were we even arguing about?"

"Something about names," Allison supplied helpfully and looked down at their daughter who, remarkably, was still nursing from her mother's breast and hadn't once looked up, even when both of them had started yelling. "Carolina..." she whispered and the soft smile was back on her face once more. "Carolina, my Carolina, either Mommy and Daddy are going to have to stop yelling so much, or you're just going to have to get used to it. The latter will probably be easier, but we'll try and do better, sweetie."

Leonard pondered that for a moment as he moved next to Allison again to stare down at his red-headed daughter from above and decided she was probably right. Their entire relationship was frequently influenced by their quick (and sometimes violent) tempers and even their first meeting was a shouting match. But Allison was right. They weren't just a young married couple anymore. They were parents with a baby, another human being that they were responsible for, for making sure they were able adults who could handle anything life threw at them. Having that kind of weight placed upon his shoulders, it scared him. It scared him badly. But... Leonard drew closer to Allison, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and pressing her against his side as if he could draw strength from the simple contact. In a sense, he was. He wasn't strong enough to raise a kid alone, and he knew it, but Allison had enough inner strength for the both of them and he knew that as long as Allison remained by his side – that he had a partner to stand with and wasn't shouldering the burden alone – he could help raise another human being, their daughter, Carolina Church.

"Leonard?" Allison called softly.

"Hm?" he hummed in question.

"Did we ever decide who was going to pick her middle name?"

Leonard paused and his eyes rolled up to the ceiling as he picked through his brain trying to remember if they had or not. Once finished, he reached the conclusion that they had not and there was really only one thing left to say to that. "... Fuck."

Chex (Church/Tex) in ANY form is my ultimate OTP for this show, so I got the chance to write my OTP as well as one of my headcanons. That always makes me happy when I can do that. Obviously, we don't really know that much about what Allison and Leonard were like before she died, but I imagine they were pretty darn similar to Church and Tex, so I tried to include elements of that while still giving them a stable relationship because goddamn, they do love each other.