~no matter what, or how…
time will be hard, even cruel
some will be wondrous and others draining
but one day will become the fulfilling of all
and that is where the blessing awaits…~ written by tammy Ryan, 5th September, 2015

Chapter 6

Kylana knew very well, to never ride or drive any vehicle under the influence of alcohol even if it was only one glass. But she was grieving and nursing a broken heart. Needing to get away for a while, before the following training session at 06:00 hundred hours. Walking to the bike station where all bikes were left, she stood outside the door entrance and thought long and hard if she should take her newly modified motorcycle for a spin then immediately changed her mind and decided to go to the combat room instead where she put on boxing gloves and wore only her singlet and camouflage pants with high legged black boots. Tying her up away from her face before she begun with the punches which happened to be weak from the intoxication of the alcoholic brew she recently drank.

One hour later, streams of hot sweat formed and dripped down her entire form as she trained hard to work off the alcohol out of her system. Breathing heavily, holding onto the bag as she stared the floor underneath and the memories of her former husband resurfaced in her mind which had angered her. Cursing at herself as why didn't she give him a flogging that day when she had caught in red handed in progress with his secretary in their martial bed on their second anniversary of marriage.

Grunting of frustration, gritting of her teeth with anger and constant throwing endless punches that made her tired before dropping to her knees and softly but brokenly sobbed, embracing herself in the cold darkness of loneliness.

Her heart was broken, shattered. Her faith was destroyed, her trust was deeply betrayed by the one, and the only man she ever had in her life. She and he were new recruits in the squadron of Texas at the time, of course they hit it off quickly and he was her first, her only. Andrew was handsome and admired by all women but he chose Kylana, and were inseparable until they had married, when all had changed.

Standing up once again and resumed punching the bag, trying to release all anger she carried but it only festered her more. More tears streamed down her already wet, and burning red cheeks. Her arms and hands were becoming heavy and sore, heavily breathed and exhaled as she greatly needed the air for her lungs. Without a second or further thought, she removed the gloves from her hands and picked up her waiting clothing that was recently removed earlier and then left the room, and made her way to the shower, where she cradled herself under the running hot water before going to her private quarters.

*****
The following morning arrived; 05:00 hundred hours. Her alarm beeped, telling her to get up. Hitting the sleep button and rose up from bed, and grumbly walked to her closet then took out her uniform, getting dressed. As she stepped out the door, not properly watching where she was walking or whom she bumped into, only to apologise quickly without looking up to the individual she had bumped into. "Sorry sir. Forgive me for my clumsiness." She softly said, then walked away. "It is no problem." The Martian captain replied, watching her walk away then looked back to his friend; Modo. "Who is that?" he asked, then looked back to Kylana's back view. "That is the new recruit squadron captain, Kylana madrona." He answered, noticing that throttle was interested. "Really?" throttle stated quickly then his ears laid flat. "She seems to be having a hard time with something."

"Not sure to be exact, captain madrona was transferred to my knowledge at least a week ago, and recently she was…" Modo begun then paused as he sighed sadly for the woman. "She was what?" throttle asked. "Divorced." Modo replied. "Divorced?" throttle answered Shockley. "What an idiot. These human males have no honour to the vows they preach." He added angrily. "Indeed." Modo agreed. "Maybe you can cheer her up." He added, encouraging. "I am still grieving over carbine, Modo." Throttle sighed, painfully with grieve. "I know, but can't grieve for her forever, she would want you to be happy too." Modo smiled, placing a hand on throttle's shoulder assuring.

Half smiled back to the gentle mouse, and patted his hand gently. "Time for training, anyhow." Modo sighed and didn't argue with throttle as he knew all too well, not to try to change his mind when made up. Nodding agreeably and followed.

*****
Kylana stood firmly and held her hands behind her back, as she carefully observed the ranks then said. "Alright, ladies. Today we are going to do the next level in the training exercise." Shooting an unimpressed glance as she was interrupting by the snigger and remark of stupidity. "Private!" she bark. "Yes ma'am." Private Joe smith replied as his comrade immediately silenced himself as he tried not to snigger. "What is so funny?"

"Nothing, ma'am." He answered. Kylana glared at him, firmly with authoritum then said. "Were you laughing or sniggering because I said, ladies?" she asked. And he nodded with his reply. "Yes, ma'am."

"Why?" she said. "We aren't female, ma'am." He replied while the others said or thought to themselves with 'ooo, you're in for it buddy.' "Are you speaking for yourself or for the entire squadron here, soldier? As what I see here until you can prove to me." She paused and harshly grasped his supposed manhood, making his facial expression changed from challenging to agonizing shock as he eyes bulged out from his head and one exclaimed cry escaped his lips as he tried not to clench to the tightening grasp around his crutch. "You have balls to be a man. Then, only until then I will call you men. Do I make myself clear, private?" she continued and added, followed by a question as General Stoker tried not to laugh as he walked over then cleared his throat to show the proper authority.

"Yeah, yeah. Yes sir." He finally answered, as she finally released him from her grasped and continued with her training, sequence to the recruits as some were too afraid to get on her bad side, and others admired her strength. "Now, ladies. The obstacle starts now." Blowing the whistle, giving the order to begin. Standing where she stood as she was approached by Stoker. "Forget something?" holding a clipboard to her. "Thank you sir. Must have been a million miles away when I came out here." Taking the clipboard and pen. "So it would seem. You fit the role of squadron leader." Stoker commented. "How do you mean sir?" she asked, looking to him.

"I saw how you handled that private and called those ladies as well explained their ranks until they can prove their position of what they are and should be."

"Oh? That is what my mentor used to say when I was recruit in the old days. Even though I am a woman, but didn't really mean that by any disrespect of sexual position to those who were female as it was his way of telling the recruits especially men as ladies until they can prove they were men, real men in so of speak." She explained. Stoker was fascinated and had admired her position. "Sounds like he was good man." He commented, admirably. "He sure was."

"So who was this mentor to you?" Stoker asked, curiously. "He was my father, and a retiree of the army." She answered, her hands tightened quickly underneath away from view. "Where is he now?"

"He passed away shortly after my graduation."

"I am sorry, captain madrona." Stoker answered with his condole scenes. "It is fine, he is in a better place now. And watching over me." She replied with a smile, a brave smile that she always wore to show she isn't one to break. Stoker smiled back and nodded.

*****
Six hours later, the training finally ended and the orders were to rest. "Alright, ladies. Hit the showers." Captain madrona ordered. The recruits tiredly walked to the showers as they were absolutely filthy and sore. Carrying one or the other onward to the bund where some decided to continue training in the gym division or mechanic station. "Some gym training is needed, captain." Stoker stated, smiling. "Gym? They would be tired and sore after that course training right?" she surprisingly replied. Stoker chuckled. "Maybe for the human males, but we martians are different remember. And hard work is apart of us. Training is bred in us young." He explained.

"Oh? I see." She stated, curious and noticed the martian recruits were on their way to the gym bund. "Never took much noticed to be honest. I assumed the obstacles I gave were enough." Stoker smiled and replied. "Should never underestimate your soldiers and in the end, they are the ones fighting for us and themselves."

Kylana never thought of it that way before as she was always told, fighting for what is right and what is to be protect was all to be considered as honour. "Oh, I understand now. And I will do better as their captain. Thankyou general."

General stoker nodded then walked away. Kylana sighed, and went over the obstacle training with some gym workout exercises for the following session that is schedule for the next day. It was not long until she thought to do some of it, herself while her recruits were resting. Then retired for the evening after a usual drink at the bar.

Later that evening, Kylana took her seat and requested gabe for something stronger than a beer this time. Gabe looked to her with worry and asked. "Are you sure that you want whisky?"

"Yes gabe, whisky please." She answered, as he shrugged and served what she requested. Just she was about to drink the beverage the seat on her left was taken out and sat upon. "Rootbeer please, gabe."

"Oh, captain thorneboy. Hadn't seen you in here for a while." Gabe commented, smiling placing the rootbeer down before the tanned mouse. "Yeah, I know. But would be nice to drink some cold beer."

Klyana half glanced at him from the corner of her eye as she guzzled down her whisky and placed the cup down. "Thanks gabe." She said and walked away. Throttle turned and watched her leave, then looked to gabe. "She don't stay for long once had her drink." Gabe told him. "Heh, odd." Drinking his own then commented. "She is pretty one for a odd female."

"True and false." Gabe answered. "How do mean?" he asked. "She is pretty but not odd. Just going through a rough patch."

"I see." He answered, guzzled down his beer and added. "What kind of rough patch?"

"Not my place to share information as only can say that she was burn bad by the man that broke her heart." Gabe half explained with what information he knew. Throttle felt pity and yet anger all the same time. As he was deeply robbed of what he and carbine shared, even planned for the future. Paying gabe the drink and left.

*****
Throttle flopped himself on his bed as the covers flew around him before becoming creases around his body and stared at the ceiling above him. Sighed heavily and drifted to sleep, deeply fell asleep then begun to dream about the night that he wished never happened.

Screaming and shouting in anger as he tried to break free to rescue his beloved then all went black. Leaning on his closed fists, sobbing brokenly as he felt a warm familiar hand caressed his head. Looking up, tears flowed as he knelt up and pulled the waist of his deceased love to his embrace. Tightly embraced her and sobbed. "Carbine, my carbine. I have missed you so much."

"And I, you my love but it is time you must let me go." She softly told him as her time had passed and time to move on. "I can't." he whispery cried, tightly his hold on her waist. "You must, throttle." Lifting his head, to make him face her as she gazed down with a warm and loving smile. Caressed his cheeks within both hands and continued. "My life was full, even though I wanted to complete it with the joy we planned to do but it was my time, my love. And it is time for you to let me go, please let me go throttle. I want you to be happy. I will always be with you."

Throttle gasped tearfully and before he could answer, carbine kissed him one last time and as she slowly drifted away he reached out to her as he cried her name. "I love you, throttle. Be happy. I will always be with you, my love. Always…"

"Carbine!" he shouted then woke up, crying and said her name in whisper. "Carbine."

Hearing her voice as she were right next to him, made him cry more as he tightly clenched his arms around the pillow, sobbing brokenly. "Be happy, I will always be with you, my love. Always…"

*****
~to be continued in chapter 7….

Sorry for the long update, as I am trying to work my best of where I will or should be going in this fiction as it is not easy one. But hopefully it will work out eventually. Thankyou for your patience, and hope to see you later. Read and review, tootles