"Marital Bliss?"

Summary: Angered by Rumple's last-second clause to her curse and her mind changed by a passive aggressive move on her mother's part, Regina decides to marry him off to his archenemy, Killian Jones. Twenty-eight years later, and the couple are living a happy life together, but when Rumple is awoken from the curse, what will it spell for their relationship?

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time or Once Upon a Time in Wonderland or any associated characters.

A/N: So, it's been over two years since I first published this story, and finally, I decided to bring it to Tumblr!

Now for a bit of context! A few years ago, I came across a few posts joking about Rumple and Killian's relationship and pretending it was romantic. I thought they were funny, but mostly shrugged them off. However, after a night out with a former Once buddy (who is still a buddy buddy and the best buddy to ever buddy) where we roleplayed Rumple and Killian bowling together in a comedic setting, Afterwards, I began to get curious and looked into the Golden Hook tag. Needless to say, I had a very fun time (Read: I read almost every fic in the tag). After about an hour of browsing and reading, it became my favorite crack ship! I think, just as characters, they have some of the best chemistry on the show, and arguably have one of the most important relationships given how they are foils to one another in many respects.

I've seen a couple of users come up with the idea of Hook and Rumple being married under the Dark Curse (Specifically, "He Asked for Comfort" by Crysania and "Fool's Gold" by Akaiba, both of which can be found on tumblr and AO3), but I wanted to expand on the basic premise and delve more into how it would affect the two going forward for the series after. My plan is for the story to be spread all the way from before the First Curse to the end of the Frozen Arc.

As I said before, I've been working on this fic for a little over two years. Obviously, if I only had one chapter (and a short one at that) to show for it, that would be pretty pathetic. I actually have fifteen chapters at the time of this posting. However, while of course you're free to check out the rest of them on either my AO3 or accounts (ProtoChan is my username), I'm currently re-editing every chapter so I can get them in their best form, so if you're interested, I'd appreciate if you just be patient with me so you can get the best reading experience! Thanks!

This fic has been a real passion project of mine, and given the unorthodox pairing, especially given the fandom neck of the woods I'm usually in, it's been a fun writing challenge! I write for it everyday in some capacity and it makes me feel so good having something I can consistently do. I hope anyone who reads it has a good time!

Without further adieu, please enjoy!

Prologue

"My Queen!" The slave's sky blue visage plastered itself over every mirror in the Queen's chambers; there were panicked features everywhere Regina looked. He appeared a little after her now late father's corpse had fallen cold on the floor, just as soon as the royal had finished gathering the dust that surrounded her feet and placed them into something she could carry.

A slammed door in the face was the mirror-bound Genie's response to his cry for answers. Regina wasn't in the mood to give him what he wanted, though really, when it came to her slave, she never was.

This time though, she shared in his panic and despair. How could she not?

Daddy is dead.

The thought struck once more, like a bell that was repeatedly chimed on the hour at a church.

Her father was now dead, his body that was once so open and comforting was now still as a stone, and it was all thanks to her.

All magic came with a price. That was the mantra that had been ingrained into every step of her magical training. It made sense that the price for her revenge would be as steep as it was, and Regina felt silly in hindsight for thinking something as relatively small as her steed would suffice. The casting of the Dark Curse was to be her Magnum Opus, so to speak.

…That didn't make crushing his heart any easier.

The fact was, like it or not, the deed was done and the former prince was no more. The queen's adrenaline had all but run out and the guilt was beginning to settle like sand on the ocean floor after a hurricane. She needed to get him out of her thoughts, for if she didn't, he would remain there, trickling doubt into her mind like rain on a roof. If he stayed in there long enough, she feared she would end up taking the dead man's advice and talking herself out of ultimately casting it like a fool. The last of the ingredients needed was said to arrive in just a few hours, and there was little preparation to be done elsewhere. There was time, time begging to be filled.

The Evil Queen had taken to pacing across one of the castle's many long hallways, her form moving back and forth gracefully across the floor. It wasn't much, not as conventionally distracting as having her way with her prized Huntsman, but it kept her heart racing and her anger sharp, the latter of which she could never have during sex. Wax dripped down the candles lined up along the walls of the scantily lit space and the only sound present was the sound of the tapping of her shoes as she treaded the stone ground. Regina had soundproofed the hallway beside her bedroom as well as banished all mirrors with a wave of her hand. Though her guards were no strangers to her fits of rage, she'd rather not have anyone hear her right now, just in case her latest murder plagued upon her heart too much for her to mask the guilt.

Regina tried to focus on her triumph. Here she was, The Evil Queen, mere hours away from casting her curse. At last, Snow White would pay for Daniel's demise, and the fates would regret the day they ever frowned down on her. She had prepared the location, and had stolen nearly all of the ingredients she formerly needed other villains for, the last of which was presently en route to her castle. No, after the failure that was her first attempt, she would not waste time with underlings at her side during what was truly only her moment of victory.

Or rather, she wished she would not have to.

Unfortunately though, to even attempt to castthe curse this time, she had had to reach for the help of one other monster, one who unlike the others, wasn't as easy to rob of his contribution.

Rumplestiltskin.

No, don't think of Daddy. Don't even think of your victory. Think of that imp instead. This is his fault after all.

The late Henry, whenever Regina thought about him, ushered love into her heart, and unfortunately, accompanying that love was a sickly sense of doubt.

Rumplestiltskin, on the other hand, she could let consume her thoughts.

He didn't fill her with doubt like her father did. What he did fill her with was venom, venom as repulsive to the soul as the monster's visage was to the eyes.

"Comfort! He wants comfort," she called out to no one in particular, nearly in hysterics as she circled the room once more. "I'll give him comfort," the queen mumbled.

Regina hardly understood it. Well, she did understand it, but she wasn't exactly happy about her circumstances.

The cost of the curse was bad enough. Now though, the casting of the Dark Curse was set to take place this very evening, and yet, somehow, at the very last second, Rumplestiltskin, the weasel that he was, got to put in a clause for comfort, wealth, and anything else he wanted that was accompanied by the word "please." Regina wanted to believe that the deal would amount to nothing, but she, despite her protests, knew better than to assume as much when it came to her mentor.

How did he get the upper hand? I'm the one casting this curse here! He's the prisoner, rotting behind bars!

She wished that Rumplestiltskin was guilty of this insult alone, but it was clear once and for all that this just wasn't the case. This was merely the golden straw that broke the crowned camel's back. When the demon had first came into her life, he was almost equal parts a fairy godfather and a frightening new threat at the same time. After all, his ways, vicious as they were, were what ultimately led to her mother's banishment from her realm. How could she not see him to at least some degree as someone to be trusted, especially once he began to teach her magic? However, it had become clearer as the year leading up to her curse had progressed. Regina had begun to see the push and pull that was her mentor's handiwork as harsher and harsher decisions made with her goal still unresolved, and not from a lack of trying. Like the piece of the tapestry that at last revealed the grand design, this one confrontation finally showed off the imp's true abilities and intentions. He made her his pawn for reasons unknown, and that fact shook every fiber of Regina's being to the core with boiling resentment.

Once again, that little Imp has taken influence over me. This was supposed to finally be my moment of triumph, where everyone was to fall prey to me! But still, even as I am about to accomplish my greatest feat, he crawled his way back into power.

Maybe there's still a way that I can make him pay…

Regina's ponderings, while only in their infancy, were put on hold. A door slammed open. A guard, cloaked in dark armor and metals of the earth, as all of her knights were, approached. The Queen greeted him with a steely, unforgiving glare.

"My Queen," he started, his voice stiff with obedience. "We have urgent need for you in the dungeon. In your absence, a man appeared in the throne room right before the throne itself in a cloud of purple smoke. We moved him to the dungeon until you could come and see him, but I wish to note that he was gagged and tied up when he appeared. He attempted to fight us off, but we rendered him unconscious swiftly. He was no match."

In a huff, Regina rushed into the dungeon, only raising a flawless eyebrow upon glancing at the person of focus in the back of the cell.

Well, at least my guards are honest.

Just as the guard had said, a man was incapacitated and tied up right on top of the bed in his cell. What the guard had neglected to point out, however, was the identity of the prisoner. Had it not been for the unusual mode of entry into the castle, she may have just shrugged him off as an ally of Snow White's. This man, however, was not just an ordinary peasant.

This was Killian Jones.

Also known as Captain Hook, he was the infamous one-handed and one-hooked pirate of legends, known for terrorizing the seas on his ship, the Jolly Roger as well as his quest to seize the Dark One's life.

Until this moment, he was also her employee.

Yesterday, she had sent the pirate to go kill her mother, and bring back her body. However, if the sight before her was any indication, it looked like the man had failed at his task.

I should have known better than to trust others to take care of my dirty work.

Regina walked towards the pirate, a fireball emerging from her right hand, as she glared at her new target.

The Evil Queen never did enjoy incinerating inanimate objects. All it made for was a mess and a waste of possessions.

Humans, even unconscious ones, on the other hand, made for much more amusing targets.

Oh pirate, you're about to learn what happens when you let down your queen!

Just as the Regina was about to prepare a roasted pirate, she stopped in her tracks, for something had caught the corner of her eye.

A white envelope with a small red heart upon the seal was popping out of the pirate's jacket pocket, standing out from Hook's all black clothing. The queen extinguished the fireball, and gently took the letter into her hand. She broke the seal, and opened the envelope.

Dearest Regina,

Has your disappointment with you life grown to the point where you truly wish to end my life?

If you do, I suggest trying harder.

I take pride in not making things easy.

May I suggest coming by yourself next time?

Minions can only be counted on for so much.

Anyway, take pride in your power now, but know that we'll be reunited just as soon as this curse is lifted.

In the meantime, have fun with this little present.

I'm sure you can fit him in there somehow.

Best of luck!

Love,

Mother

Regina clenched her free fist, and glowered at the letter before her. Now her mother was mocking her? The queen did her best to hide her rage. Once again, Cora escaped retribution, still one step ahead of Regina's wrath.

Just like Rumplestiltskin…

Regina's attention was drawn once again to the unconscious captain before her. She remembered when they first allied against her mother. Regina was so sure he would be capable of a much better job with the promise of revenge on Rumplestiltskin upon her mother's death, considering his almost obsessive passion when it came to killing the Dark One. She even had him kill his own father as a test of his abilities when dealing with matters of the heart, and he did it!

And look at you now as you lay bound, gagged, and with every bit of dignity taken away from you.

What a miserable little worm. If Hook couldn't take down Cora, what hope did he have in taking down…?

Regina froze in her tracks, an evil grin quickly appearing on her face.

Hmm. How funny.

I come across not just one person that I hate, but two. Two souls who can't stand one another, and here I stand, on the crux of altering their very fates.

Perhaps I can get my revenge on this failure of a pirate and Rumplestiltskin all in one fell swoop.

The only question was how. She couldn't make the imp suffer; that was part of their deal. Comfort. As for Hook, well, a one-sided hatred hardly changed anything for either of them. Hook's soul was already tortured by hating the Dark One. How could she make it worse?

Hmmm…

Regina decided to cast the curse so Snow White would suffer. The only thing was, the girl would be deprived of her memory after the fact. However, she would still suffer from the absence of love, but also the feeling that love was supposed to be there.

…Could the opposite work too? How would it feel to have love, but to wonder how that love could be, to have something feel weird, almost wrong about it, but not wish to do anything to stop it?

Why not stick two souls who repel each other at every turn…together?

At the very least, it could be worth a laugh.

"I promised Rumplestiltskin comfort, and what could be more comforting than the company of a loving husband," Regina mused, sarcasm practically dripping off her tongue.

"Guards," she cried. Immediately, the two guards in the prisoner's hallway were at the royal's side. "You are to ensure that our newest guest stays exactly in place. Make sure that he remains alive and in captivity until the curse is cast, unless you want me to make you the ants beneath my feet in the next world."

Can I even do that? Who knows!

"Yes, Your Majesty," the soldiers chorused before situating themselves outside the cell doors.

"This," the Queen started, ecstasy appearing on her face, "will be rich."

Regina started for the dungeon's exit. There was no further need for her presence there. Her shoes began to click against the stone once more as she departed.

Then, something stopped her. It wasn't a guard and surely not her father.

What it was was a nagging notion. It was the threat of a loose thread, and it all stemmed from the very cell next to her newest captive.

It was the cell that contained Belle.

Capturing the Dark One's beloved was a victory that gave Regina much pride. It was a victory of hers that while never expressed to him, would be a cause for despair that would loom over her monstrous mentor for the remainder of his days. She may have lost her love, but up until she spied upon the Dark Castle and seen them together, she assumed he never had any at all. Then the plan struck, and it had all felt right. Even before she fully understood Rumplestiltskin's dark shadow over her in its entirety, she did have her suspicions that he saw her as a pawn to some degree. Well, if she was to suffer for her stable boy, then he would suffer with the absence of his maid.

Regina stared into the door of the young girl's cell. Belle was asleep on her cot, the sole sheet that rested above her clutched within fists for warmth. The cells were kept cold to torture her victims. The low temperatures would keep those she had deemed worthy of being her prisoners weak but at the same time make sleeping a challenge. She never made the cells too cold to the point where they would kill the captives before she could, but never allowed them to stay warm enough where they could be called comfortable. With time, it drove more than a few of the captives mad from being forcibly kept awake with nothing to occupy the misery and pain that many hours the days supplied. Belle had been resilient. She complained about her conditions, but never brought forward any information on her lover in hopes of bringing her torture to a premature end nor had she gone insane herself.

What should I do with you, child?

As long as Belle was within the confines of the Enchanted Forest, she'd be included with the curse. Of course, Regina could control the girl's fate, just as she planned to do with everyone else. She'd come up with a couple of plans for Belle.

But something changed, and it made the queen question her tactics. Belle and Rumplestiltskin had True Love. It wasn't strong enough to break the Dark One's curse, sure, but in a new land, one where her mentor wouldn't have magic to hold onto like a crutch, their love could grow to be so.

Regina had read enough magical texts to know the one threat to her victory.

True Love's Kiss.

She supposed she could keep the two lovers apart, but with both the imp's new clause and her familiarity with the tendencies of lovers to end up together, Regina began to doubt the practicality of that move. Besides, if Rumple discovered the Queen's deception, he would give her more trouble than even Snow and Charming ever could. She began thinking up another plan for the princess-turned-maid-turned-prisoner.

The thought of simply killing Belle came up, but the notion brought with it too many unpleasant memories of an equally kind heart that not one hour ago sat in her hand, unwilling to be crushed, but done so regardless. Her stomach churned as she relived seeing a familiar set of eyes lose all semblance of life. Even the idea of having a guard perform the action was enough to make her queasy.

No, killing her won't do.

Perhaps I should just leave her out of the curse altogether and be done with it?

Time was running short. Virtually all of the Enchanted Forest was to be consumed by the Dark Curse.

That wasn't about to stop her though. Regina had just the thing to make that problem but a tiny detour in her grand scheme.

Jefferson's Hat.

She got right to work. With a call, another guard was at her side. She led her silently into Belle's cell and ordered the guard to gently take the prisoner into her arms. She had no doubt that if the maid woke up, she'd be able to render her unconscious once more, but she'd prefer to reserve her magic for the time of the curse and even with the assistance of her guard, Regina preferred to spare herself another hope speech that the prisoner had made a habit of giving every time the queen visited.

I almost pity my guards for having to deal with it on a daily basis.

Regina and her guard with Belle-in-hands made their way back to the queen's private chambers. The royal opened her armoire, careful not to look towards the left side, where a mirror that told her a very unsatisfying truth once stood, and took out a box. Inside it, there was a lack and orange top hat. Some would call it audacious in its design and impractical to say the least. However, much like herself, beyond appearances was where the true complexities of the garb waited.

She cleared off the center of the room and dropped the hat.

Alright, now just as Jefferson did it.

Regina gave the top hat a spin, and stepped back. Just as it had on her last trip, a purple swirling vortex emerged from the hat's surface. Wind blew around the room and darkness took over what used to be eloquent castle walls, and papers flurried through the air like leaves during autumn.

"Excellent," she commented. The queen signaled towards the guard with her head. "Into the hat, with the girl," Regina ordered. The guard, to her credit only gave off the impression that she was somewhat shaken, nodded.

"Y-yes, my Queen," she spoke, aged and obedient, before jumping into the portal. Regina waited a moment before following.

As she landed, Regina decided to use a small bit of magic to ease her fall. The guard, not given the same luxury, seemed to be in a deal of pain, but kept to her task, and Belle, as it was, was still somehow asleep.

I'm beginning to think that the wrong princess got the nickname "Sleeping Beauty."

The Evil Queen looked around. The duo and Belle found themselves in a circular room with all manner of doors positioned among the edges. Each door had a unique design, associated closely with the foreign worlds they led to. Regina had studied the hat after locking Jefferson in Wonderland, and her independent pursuits alongside the knowledge that her mentor had given her allowed her to conclude that almost every door would lead to a land unaffected by her curse.

Now the question begs: Where should I put her?

The problem with most of the lands in the hat was that getting back to the Enchanted Forest was all too possible. Knowing Belle, she would be crafty enough to easily find a way to return to their realm, possibly even before the curse was cast, and Regina wasn't about to have that. No, the clichés of romance were not to win the day, not on her watch, at least.

Regina analyzed the doors, taking into account their strengths and weaknesses. She knew one place where the maid was definitely not going to end up was in Wonderland. Regina didn't even spare the Looking Glass more than a passing glance before looking to the next door on the right. All the little brat would need to do was say one unintentionally useful word to her mother and she'd find a way to use it and make her daughter's life hellish, even more than she already had.

As the Evil Queen went over the doors, she became increasingly displeased with her findings. They were all upon the Enchanted Forest's border, and with a few hours until her curse was to be cast, Regina simply didn't feel safe with any of the choices, even with a guard left at Belle's side. The maid put up with Rumplestiltskin somehow for months on end. The queen had a feeling that one guard, especially a recently injured one, wasn't about to deter her.

Finally, though, fate seemed to smile upon Regina.

Out of the corner of her eye, ironically enough, directly next to the Looking Glass she earlier denied, the noble saw an emerald green door. The door was built as to look like a curtain, and had two symmetrical handles with the letter "Z" inside an "O."

"Oz," The queen mused. Regina had never been there before personally, but had had read books about the world. She knew that it was a mystical land that while home to exceptional magical artifacts, was very difficult to get in or out of. There were rumors that one could only get to Oz from other realms by means of cyclones. The odds of that happening within a few hours were negligibly low.

"Perfect," Regina whispered, a positively wicked grin appearing on her face. "Guard," she called. "Drop her in here."

"Of course," the guard replied, opening the green door.

Beyond the passageway, there was a dark, grassy field in the midst of a forest, with nary a soul in sight. The leaves on the trees blew softly and a light but present green glow was visible across the landscape, the only sign of any intelligent life.

Regina gestured for the guard to vacate her arms of the prisoner. The guard gave a curt nod and softly dropped Belle on the ground, careful to keep her in her sleeping state. The queen placed a hand on the guard's shoulder right before she crossed the border into the world herself, lest her guard be victim to the hat's rules of passage.

"The same amount of people that go through have to come back. No more, no less. It's the hat's rule."

Speaking of…

She looked out into the horizon, and upon noticing several distinct bright yellow lights floating a small ways past the clearing, gestured for her guard again.

"Grab a single firefly and bring it back through the portal before the girl wakes. That will close the portal and prevent her from coming through," Regina commanded.

"Yes, my Queen," the guard repeated as she had what Regina predicted must have been at least a hundred times before. Regina, still inside the hat, stood and watched as her orders were acted out. When the mission was successfully accomplished, the guard came back through the door. As soon as she and the firefly passed through the threshold, the door slammed shut, and the queen imagined that it disappeared altogether from the other side. "It is done, your Majesty."

"Very good," the queen praised as the two left the black and orange vessel.

And indeed it was. To add icing to the cake, as soon as Regina and the guard came back into the room, another guard came by to announce the early arrival of the final ingredient for the curse.

Regina smiled cruelly and transported herself to where the ingredient was said to be. In under an hour, birthed through the rage of a father lost, she had accomplished quite a lot.

Vindication for the sins of her mentor.

Retribution for a job poorly done.

Catharsis from a world that rarely offered her anything outside of pain.

Soon, her ultimate revenge against Snow White would be complete, and despite the forces of the universe fighting her at every turn, she had all the cards in her hand.

Payback, as all who ever slighted her were soon to find out, was going to be a bitch.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Yeah, so I'm not much of a braggart, but this chapter is an AMAZING improvement over the original! It's amazing what two years of experience can do for a writer.

Thank you for reading! If you would like to review, I would appreciate it a lot! I love interacting with other fans, so go ahead, I don't bite…much! XD

Anyway, have a great day, and I'll see you in Chapter 2!