I Kinda . . . Panicked
l. Shattered and Broken

Summary: "Luffy-ya… I love you." Luffy stared at him with wide eyes for a moment. Then Luffy turned around…and ran. And with every step he took, Law's heart shattered more and more, until there was nothing left. AU, happy ending! LawLu.

Warning: ooc (mostly on Law's part), AU, mild swearing, depression.

Disclaimer: The cover picture belongs to its rightful owner/creator. I do not own One Piece, or Law's heart. *sniff* *bursts into tears*

Now he's gone, I don't know why
And till this day sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie

-Nancy Sinatra (Bang Bang [My Baby Shot Me Down])

Law was feeling extremely nervous. Today was the day he'd confess his feelings for Luffy. He gave a nervous chuckle as he adjusted the coat he wore, smoothing out any imperfections in it. He'd had a few relationships in his twenty-six years of life, and all three (yes, three) had ended with him getting his heart broken. (Okay, not broken, but you, know, he was really saddened they didn't work out…and stuff…) But not this time, this time…

The time would be different.

Or so he hoped.

Out of all the people he'd fallen for, he knew Luffy was the one he truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Luffy had a lot of flaws, and Law meant a lot. He was too trusting, too kind, too loud, too naive, too idiotic; he could go on and on. But it was those flaws – mixed with the teen's perfections – that made him so damn lovable. But what made Law so nervous right now was because he didn't actually know if Luffy was gay or not. Or if he was even interested in pursuing a relationship.

Law had tried to slyly coax an answer out of him about relationships and all that, but it hadn't worked out very well. The one thing he did know was that Luffy had never dated anyone before because no one had caught his eye. He'd turned down several dates from a few people, though; Boa Hancock, Blackleg Sanji, Roronoa Zoro, Beliko Nami, and Jewelry Bonney. And from what Law knew, Luffy was still good friends with Zoro and Sanji; meaning he certainly didn't have anything against gays.

Law took one last look at himself in the mirror before giving a nod. Today would be a good day, a happy day. Today, he would give his beating heart to the man of his dreams.

The cold air was nice for a change, and Luffy couldn't help but wish Winter would come a lot sooner. But, unfortunately, Autumn refused to be absent from the world, so he was forced to patiently wait for the white season. The colorful leaves that blew in breeze brought a smile to Luffy's lips, and he chased around several in the park as he waited for Law to show up.

He didn't have to wait long. Looking up from the leaf-covered ground, he smiled and waved excitedly to the hatted male approaching him. "Torao~!" He bounced his way over and tightly hugged the male, pulling away and looking up to see Law give a small smile.

"Hello, Luffy-ya. Enjoying Autumn, I see?"

"Yeah!" The teen grinned back, and Law couldn't help but feel his nervousness ease away, the feeling replaced with calmness. Law motioned for Luffy to walk beside him as they ventured through the park. The surgeon listened to Luffy's exciting adventures he had with his friends over the years and the weirdly odd dreams he'd have at night. He'd throw his opinion in once and while, all the while wearing his usual small smile. "So Torao, why'd you want to meet up today? You said you had something important to tell me."

"I do," the surgeon answered, and suddenly the nervousness was back. He and Luffy stopped under one of the many shedding trees, and he looked the teen in the eyes and he spoke the next sentence. "Luffy-ya… I love you."

The world around them turned to one of complete silence. Law could hear nothing except the beating of his own heart and fear began to prick at his mind when the bouncing teen didn't immediately announce his love for him in return. He resisted the urge to bite his lip when Luffy just continued to stare at him, not saying a single word. The teen's eyes widened as the confession sank in.

They stood there, staring each other; each afraid to say something.

In the end, it was Luffy who moved first.

The teen took a step back. He turned…and ran. And with every step he took, Trafalgar Law felt his heart crack more and more, until nothing was left except the shattered remains of a broken heart.

Walking home after that was one of the hardest things he had to do in his entire life. He felt as if he couldn't breathe, and every second he continued to stay alive a sharp pain stabbed him in the chest where his heart should have been. His entire body felt numb and nearly all of his senses disappeared. He couldn't no longer hear the cars passing and honking, could no longer feel the softness of his coat, couldn't smell the food from the restaurants he walked by, and could barely see where it was he was at.

His entire world felt…empty.

Void.

Like it no longer had any meaning to it. And in a way, it didn't. The person he'd fallen in love with, the person he gave his heart to…just rejected him. Instead of treasuring the heart that'd been given to him, Luffy crushed it mercilessly. And what was worse was he didn't even know why. Why had Luffy done that? Luffy had almost looked...scared. Was he homophobic after all? Did he simply see Law as a friend? Luffy did once compare him to his brother Ace, so maybe he saw him in a familial way. Had he done something wrong? Did Luffy simply not love him back? Law didn't know, and he would never would. "Stupid," Law muttered under his breath. All of his other relationship had crashed and burned, why should this one be any different?

The stabbing pain in his chest continued with every step he took, and he soon found himself inside his apartment standing in the middle of the living room. It was then did he finally register the tears running down his cold cheeks. He reached up and touched them, pulling back his hand to look at the wetness on his fingers. He had never cried with his other relationships ended. He had never felt this broken over them.

His world began to spin and his lungs began to burn, and the realization that he really wasn't breathing hit him. His legs gave out and he collapsed to the ground on his hands and knees. The hat that rested on his head fell and rolled off to the side, and his tattooed fingers began to dig themselves into the soft rug below. His vision dimmed in and out of darkness as his lungs screamed for oxygen.

But no matter how fiercely his lungs burned, it was nowhere near as painful as the pain that continually stabbed him in the chest. He couldn't bring himself to care if he couldn't breathe, and soon his arms no longer hand the strength to keep him up either. He fell to the floor, his dazed eyes staring at nothing as tears fell freely from them. He didn't care if he died, what was he living for anyway? His job? He had no family, hardly any friends, no lover…

He had nothing to live for.

Dying… At least dying meant he could be with his family and Cora-san again.

Law didn't die.

And he was slightly disappointed at that.

He awoke with a bad headache and that pain still alive in his chest. He had a feeling that pain wouldn't go away anytime soon. After all, his heart would never be whole again. Never. This time it'd been shattered beyond repair, and nothing could or would change that. He pushed himself up onto his knees and looked around the near empty apartment.

Everywhere he looked, he saw Luffy.

He remember Luffy laying on that couch, smiling when Law threw popcorn at him once during a movie. The memory of Luffy nearly bringing down the bookshelf popped into his mind when he glanced at the unmoving object. He noted that the red stain on the carpet near the reclining chair was there because Luffy accidentally spilt his juice when he was laughing at a T.V. series he was watching. The small scratch in the wooden doorframe was when Luffy grabbed it, holding onto it for dear life because he was afraid of the medical checkup Law was going to give him after hearing the teen was in a car accident.

Each memory only made the empty feeling in his chest more prominent, and he just couldn't take it. 'Maybe it'll pass,' he thought sadly, getting to his feet as he made his way into his dark bedroom. He slipped beneath the covers without changing clothes, and he closed his eyes as another tear slipped past him.

'Maybe it'll pass.'

It didn't.

And two days later, he moved out.

A/N: Now, before you guys say that Law's kinda overreacting, let me say that more things will be shared in the next chapter. This won't be more than three chapters. This one, Luffy's P.O.V., and then the ending. So hope it was...okay. I don't know, I felt iffy uploading this but someone said I should go for it. So...hope you enjoyed? Leave a review? please?

Next chapter comes out next Thursday.

Your shy ice elemental,
~»roo the psycho«