So aside from a 2-3 hour nap at midnight, I haven't slept tonight. Mostly because I just realized the whole Ruby + Sapphire = Garnet thing. (Sorry, I'm slow on episode watching. Also I'm semi new to the fandom so give me a break.). So I decided to put some of tonight to use for something other than dancing around in my room (in the dark) like an idiot and wrote this. Note: Sorry for the bit of 4th wall breaking!

Being a fusion is confusing. Your two people, acting, living, breathing as one. Your words are the final consensus of an internal debate going on for minutes, and your actions are the combined instincts of the gems who make up yourself.

Yet, while you are two, at the same time, you are one. You are one being who is made up of two. A combination yet a separate being as a whole. While your feelings are influenced by their feelings, they are still different, still yours. Something that they can't feel, only you can. Something that disappears when they disassemble.

I wasn't lying or being figurative when I was fighting with Jasper. I am literally made of love. Most of that song came from Ruby and Sapphire, not me. Including the jab about being single. It feels hypocritical now, seeing as how despite literally being made of love, I am single. Yes, two lovers fusing into a new being creates one being, I am the physical embodiment of their relationship, not a part of the relationship itself.

Even though it's a weird concept, I want love. It's not that I want Sapphire and Ruby to separate so that I can feel the love of the relationship. No, it's that I want a relationship of my own.

Most people would figure I'd fall in love with someone close to me, someone on my team, who I can relate too and talk too. Well. Um, sorry for being predictable I guess.

It's Pearl. The most obvious option of all. Sorry for not falling in love with a mailbox and making this story a bit more interesting. But the fact that its obvious is why it happened. When I'm with her, it makes sense. It makes sense that I would want to be with her, its predictable. Which is why I wondered about it and I guess its why I'm here.

Pearl is beautiful, graceful, but delicate, yet feisty. Yeah, I didn't expect anyone to agree with that last part either. But it's true. You'd have to over think it to understand. Not to mention she's the only one left who has been with me the whole journey. We picked Amethyst up halfway through, and now that Rose is gone, she is all that is left. The only one that can understand, yet at times, she doesn't.

She doesn't always look at the big picture. She is proud and happy when she talks about the war because of the glory we took from winning. It doesn't register that regardless win or lose, millions died and the battle was horrible. She wasn't happy about Stevens idea using the sweater to catapult up into the tower, even though in the end it was the only reason we got across.

Yet, she's not capable of standing alone. I know that's the only reason Rose left me in charge as leader instead of her, a feat Pearl does her best not to acknowledge. Pearl wasn't an individual, she was part of Rose. She followed Rose constantly, and while now she brags about being her only confident and being like her best friend, she needed Rose. Pearl has this thing, where she has to feel needed and wanted. It's why she always strives to be perfect, so she will always be of use, although now I think its developed into OCD. Well, it developed into OCD a long time ago, but my point is still clear.

She is also emotionally unstable. It's always been that way. She's learned to control the panic attacks for the most part, but her emotions are still as unpredictable as Earths weather.

But Pearl is still kind hearted, and her emotional instability works in positive ways too. She has no trouble expressing love or joy, or anything. She doesn't worry about it.

She is exactly what I need, what I want. The perfect compliment to the fusion of souls Sapphire and Ruby created. Because if there's one thing I know Steven and Connie learned from being fused, is that just because your technically not alone, doesn't mean you can't feel lonely

So I thought I was going to write a oneshot… And then this just sort of ended up ending where it did and it feels like a multichap. Mainly because there is no way to smoothly transition out of this 4th wall breaking monologue without making a new chapter. So yeah, if there are error I'm sorry. Blame lack of sleep. And I would love to hear feed back on how I did explaining my interpretation of Sapphire and Ruby and the fusion of Garnet in general.