Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider. I got the idea from those one-shots waaaaay back in the fandom (perhaps page 64?). Of course, I wished the author had written it a bit better, so HERE I AM!

Another disclaimer: Everything factual that comes out of the teacher's mouth isn't really mine. It's just Wikipedia… rewritten. Gosh, I hope I'm not breaking some rules or something…

Classified: COBRA Edition

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

Alex was enjoying his MI6-free week. During the seven days he'd not been needed, he'd caught up with all his work (a feat that he was particularly proud of) and had gotten his classmates to believe he'd been in France for an aunt's funeral. Alex hadn't been completely lying. He had been in France briefly to meet up with a DGSE agent. The next day, they'd gone to Argentina for a joint mission.

Alex stretched, covering the yawn that was threatening to break out on his face. He was in his government class.

The teacher, Mr. Burke, had a rather insignificant face, a round belly that jiggled when he walked, and an angry rash running up his left arm.

Alex couldn't help but notice all of these small things.

Typically, the students were bored in the class, though Mr. Burke was a good teacher. However, on this particular day, he was lecturing on secret service agencies around the world, a topic that most sixteen-year-olds liked to discuss. He had just begun on their own secret service.

"The Secret Intelligence Service," Mr. Burke began, jiggling merrily across the front of the classroom, "is commonly known as MI6, as you may know. MI6 stands for 'Military Intelligence, sector six'. It's out intelligence agency that supplies our government with foreign intelligence. Can anyone tell me when this particular branch of military intelligence was formed?"

"1909," someone called out, "Everyone knows that!"

Mr. Burke frowned at the student, "Raise your hand next time, Jacobs."

Jacobs grinned ruefully back, "Sorry, sir."

Mr. Burke made his way to his computer, "You are correct. MI6 was formed in 1909. However, the existence of the SIS was not officially acknowledged until 1994."

Alex found himself zoning out as the teacher began to spew out more facts, such as the history. He glanced at his watch and inwardly groaned. It had only been ten minutes since the class had started.

He found himself uncomfortably staring at the PowerPoint presentation, wishing the lesson would just end. Just because he had accepted his inevitable fate with the service, didn't mean he wanted to sit around, chatting about its history.

"Moving on," Mr. Burke announced, ignoring the side chatter about James Bond, "MI5. I'm sure you've all heard of it. It's our domestic counter-intelligence and security agency."

This time Alex really did yawn.

"Does this seem boring to you, Rider?" Mr. Burke asked sharply.

Alex smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, sir. I didn't get much sleep yesterday."

It was a complete lie. Alex was bored. Secret services didn't seem all that cool once you knew all about them.

Mr. Burke made a disapproving noise, but moved on. Alex tuned him out again and stared out the window.

Twenty-five more minutes…

Alex's attention snapped towards a black SUV with tinted windows as it rolled to a stop. He stared suspiciously until a familiar looking man made his way out of the car. He leaned through the window a little, as if he was talking to someone inside. Then, he headed into the school.

It was Ben Daniels.

He was wearing his classic inconspicuous suit, a crisp white shirt under his jacket. A black tie hung, loosened around his neck. Dark shades rested in his black hair. He looked exactly like a spy in the films.

Alex sighed to himself, discreetly slipping his things into his bag without Mr. Burke seeing.

"The CIA is the secret service in the United States. It's rumored that…"

Alex's hands gripped the sides of his desk as Mr. Burke began to explain the process of waterboarding. He finished the lecture with, "Now, on a separate sheet of paper, I'd like you to answer these questions: What do you think are the civil rights and civil liberties that everyone should have? Is there any time – Rider! Write these down!"

"Yes, sir." Alex muttered, pulling out a notebook.

"Is there any time where these rights should be taken away? And lastly, the question that we will debate on tomorrow: do you think our country should ever resort to torture?"

Alex couldn't help but think this was an attack specifically on him. What were the odds that on the same day, Mr. Burke would talk about intelligence agencies and torture methods?

He spent the next five minutes writing some rubbish in his notebook, while silently cursing the teacher. This wasn't what he wanted to think about.

Alex looked up when the door creaked open. Half of his classmates looked up too, intrigued.

"May I help you?" Mr. Burke jiggled his way to the spy in the doorway.

Ben smiled politely, "I'm looking for Alex. We're supposed to have a doctor's appointment."

"Rider?" Mr. Burke turned to Alex, who was twirling his pencil innocently. He turned back to Ben, "Are you his legal guardian?"

Ben frowned, "No-"

Mr. Burke cut in, "If you aren't, I'm afraid you can't take Rider out now." He was a stickler for rules.

The spy's polite aura shifted suddenly, "Alex? Pack up your things."

Alex raised his eyebrows at him, "What happened?" He was giving Ben a chance to come up with some sort of excuse to alleviate Mr. Burke's concern.

"Didn't you check your phone?" Ben asked, looking exasperated.

Alex pulled it out, eyebrows raised at the two new messages, "I'm in class. You should know I don't use my phone in class."

Ben scowled at him, "Just come on-"

Alex scrolled through his messages, standing up and slinging his backpack over his shoulder with an arm.

From: Jones

COBRA meeting called at 0910. Presence requested.

From: BD "Fox"

Pick up your –Alex winced at the curses in Spanish here- and get your sorry arse outside!

"Right," Alex made his way to Ben, "let's go."

"Hang on!" Mr. Burke squawked, stopping Alex from leaving with his jiggling stomach, "You can't just leave like this!"

The students were now whispering to each other, their focus entirely on the three.

"Sir," Ben growled lowly, so that the students wouldn't hear, "Let him through."

Alex tried to diffuse the tension, "My legal guardian is currently taking a holiday. Ben's just temporary."

Mr. Burke refused to move, his wiggling belly coming to a stop, "Why weren't we informed of this?" He demanded.

"It's just for a week, sir-" Alex began.

"I'm not looking for an explanation from a child," Mr. Burke argued, "Why can't the adult take charge?"

Alex sighed, checking his watch. It was now 9:30. He muttered to himself, "She's going to be so annoyed…"

"Who?"

Ben glanced around, moving so his back was facing the students, away from prying eyes. He reached into his jacket and pulled out his ID.

Alex groaned.

Mr. Burke's eyes widened dramatically and he took a couple steps back, his stomach flopping around. (Alex had some sort of weird obsession with this).

"You're-"

"Yes."

"He's-"

"Yeah."

"-in trouble with the law?"

Alex sighed to himself and pushed past both of them, calling over his shoulder, "Let's go. No time to waste."

Ben followed him out into the hallway a moment later, barely hiding a grin, "Is it bad that I enjoyed that?"

C*O*B*R*A

Alex stormed into Cabinet Office Briefing Room A precisely at 0948 hours, accompanied by Crawley.

Ben had dropped the two of them off, explaining that he didn't have the clearance to actually participate in the meeting.

Alex spotted Mrs. Jones sitting at the table. The two seats next to her were empty, while the rest were filled up with official looking men and women. Crawley headed for her left hand side, which left her right hand side open.

Alex sat down, accepting the file that Mrs. Jones placed in front of him. When he looked around, he found that he only recognized a few of the officials around him. Only one man, the Prime Minister, seemed to know who he was.

"Right. Let's get started now, shall we? Mrs. Jones?"

Alex read through the file quickly, then turned to the head of MI6. She began to speak, "Terrorist organization labeled number 19202-"

"Hem, excuse me?" A woman down the table coughed, "Please excuse my bluntness, but why is there a schoolboy in our midst?"

Mrs. Jones looked at Alex for his reply.

Alex smirked, glancing at her nametag, "Well you see, Miss Roberts," she looked faintly surprised, "I'm a 'leading expert' on organization 19202."

The woman opened her mouth, about to shoot back a reply.

He frowned suddenly and turned to Mrs. Jones, "What's organization 19202 again?"

Snickers erupted all around the table.

Mrs. Jones smiled understandingly, "Swan Brotherhood. Otherwise known as Brawdoliaeth Alarch."

Alex wrinkled his nose, "Oh. Them. I remember they were very fond of messing around with DNA. Thankfully, not mine."

Stunned silence.

Mrs. Jones nodded to the woman who had spoken, "Agent Rider is our most successful field agent. I don't doubt that he can help us."

"But…" Roberts spoke again, "How is that even possible? You'd have to have employed him when he was a minor-"

"I'm still a minor," Alex grinned.

More stunned silence.

"We should start, right?" He asked, looking around at Mrs. Jones' amused expression and Crawley's small smirk. The Prime Minister was just shaking his head, smiling too.

Alex sighed, standing, "What's the point of you all if you're just going to sit there and stare? I'm going back to school."

With that, he stalked out of the room.

A/N: OMG THAT ONE PART: "Snickers erupted all around the table". I just kept on thinking about the candy… I can't stop laughing now…

I don't know why I kept talking about the jiggling stomach on Mr. Burke… I just thought it was fascinating. I hope I didn't offend anyone with that.

I'm not too satisfied with the ending, but the story made me happy, so whatever. I don't know how to fix it… LOL, that sounded so mean. I'm not, like, purposefully trying to feed you poor quality stories. I just wanted to post this and revel in the reviews. WAIT, JUST KIDDING! I don't actually do that… (-clears throat awkwardly and closes page with the reviews-)

Good? Bad? Indifferent? Please review!

-Alice (Hugs, kisses, and dogs!)