FIFTEEN: I HATE FLUTE MUSIC
A/N: My eleven year old cousin sends her 'luv and gratetude' for all the praise you have given for the first chapter of her book : "Thrid Chances: The Trory Romence Colecttion". She has agreed to allow me to post the next part of her book at the end of this chapter. Yay!
A/N2: And Oregano, my she will be heading to Canada sometime in the fall, for her 'Thrid Chances' book signing tour, so I'll tell her to drop by and say hi to you.
*
"Hi, hi," Lorelai said as she pushed open the diner door carrying her yellow folder. She set it down on a table by the window and beckoned Luke to come. He put down the coffee pot he was holding and walked over.
"What now?"
"Sit, sit," said Lorelai, patting the chair next to hers, "Isn't it great that we don't feel weird around each other? It makes planning marital bliss much easier. Here, look at this." She opened the folder and slid it to him across the table.
"What's this?" He asked as he took a seat.
"A magical scroll that when read aloud, will open a doorway to the kingdom of Narnia," said Lorelai. "What do you think it looks like? It's our wedding stuff. I told you about this before."
"Hmm. To be honest I guess I wasn't really listening."
"Blah," she brushed his comment aside, "Anyways, there were literally hundreds of choices for everything, and when I say literally, I really do mean literally, I mean, look at how thick this folder is. So I've narrowed it down to like three or four choices for all the stuff. And when I say three or four, I really mean fifteen."
"Fifteen?" Luke flipped through the folder, looking worried.
"They are all seem perfect," said Lorelai.
"Well you can cross out this one," said Luke, showing her a page in the folder, "No way am I having one of those New Age weddings."
"Aw, I liked that one. Why not?"
"Because those freaks hold hands and hug trees at every ceremony."
"That is not true. They only hold hands some of the time," said Lorelai, "And besides for a few extra dollars you can get a raccoon to carry the rings."
"Raccoons have rabies."
"Well, I'm sorry, but the bear mauled the last couple so we can't use that."
"I don't want *any* animal to carry the rings."
"Why not?"
"Because, and I'm surprised you didn't know this already, but I think Jackson is much more competent at handling that area than a raccoon or a bear," said Luke.
"How about a trained badger?"
"Cross this out," Luke repeated.
"Fine," Lorelai took out a marker from her purse and drew a thick line across the page.
"I just thought you would like to have something different for a change. Oh, wait, before I forget, I need to ask you about the song selection. I was thinking for the first dance we could have Bette…"
"Please don't finish that sentence with 'Midler'."
"Oh, come on, Wind Beneath My Wings is the perfect wedding song."
"No."
"The Rose?"
"No."
"What do you want then? And before you say anything I don't think Margaritaville is a good song to play at a wedding."
"I wasn't going to suggest that," said Luke. "Look, I'm no good at all this stuff. If you want to ask me about the food, then maybe I'll have some input, but, music and themes, I…"
"Okay, I'll tell you what. I have a whole catalogue of songs in Appendix C of the folder here," she points to the appropriate tab, "So, why don't you tell me what kind of music you definitely don't want, and then we'll narrow it down. See, right now I'm crossing out Bette Midler, which is really, a waste if you ask me. Now, what don't you want to hear?"
"Erm," Luke paused, "Well, for starters, anything by anyone not old enough to vote."
"Oh! Are you sure? Because there's this really good Britney …"
"And," Luke cut her off quickly, "Any song that requires the singer to hold the same note for more than ten seconds."
"So, no Whitney Houston or Celine Dion. Check."
"And nothing too sappy. I hate sap."
"Okay. Only tough, manly songs."
"And nothing too slow."
"Gotcha. Fast, upbeat songs," Lorelai wrote the things down.
"And nothing with flutes. I hate flute music."
"No flutes. Done."
"Nothing from a movie. Those songs are all contrived and commercialized anyways."
"No soundtrack music. Check. Is that all?"
"I guess," said Luke.
Lorelai looked at the list. "So – to repeat: No Bette, no Britney, no Celine, no Whitney, no sap, nothing slow, no flute music and nothing from a soundtrack. Well, the only song I have here that matches that criteria is 'Bad Seed' by Metallica. What luck, with it being my mother's favorite song and all."
"That's not funny," said Luke. "I'm sure there are a few decent songs somewhere in there that don't make me want to scratch my eyes out."
"I'm sure there is," Lorelai writes down a short note by the side of the page, "I'll go home and sort out the list with Rory. I think we'll be able to come up with something."
"All right. Is that all?"
"Well. Yeah. Sookie's handling the food and the catering so we don't have to worry about that. And I talked things through with Taylor, so we can probably have the wedding right here in Stars Hollow, so that covers the venue, and, well, aside from the decorations and invitations, I guess that's it," said Lorelai. "Hmm. It seemed like a much bigger deal when I was walking here."
"It's probably the folder," said Luke, "I'm sorry I'm not much help. It seems like you're doing everything."
"Oh, I don't mind," she said, "I plan events all the time. I run an inn, remember? And besides, it's fun."
"Really?"
"Totally," said Lorelai, "Don't sweat it. You're a man. You're not supposed to care about the wedding anyway."
"That sounds harsh."
"I don't mean it like that," said Lorelai, "I'm just saying, men just aren't interested in all this stuff. I think you'd sooner tear off your own arm than go through what kind of lace design is appropriate for the tablecloth. But that's okay, it's what I'm here for."
"It's not that I'm not interested…"
"It's okay, Luke. I told you, you don't have to be."
"Yeah, but you know, I kind of feel guilty about not… being more involved," said Luke, "I mean, even you said the last time that the wedding shouldn't just be about you."
"So, what, you want to help me pick out lace patterns? You're more than welcome."
"Not that part," Luke said hastily, "Just… I don't know, I just want to help out. It doesn't feel right otherwise."
"Sure, that sounds good. You know, it's really sweet that you still want to be so involved even though it's not even really a real wedding."
"I just feel that I should."
Lorelai smiled at him. "All right, then, for the invitations, I'll need a list of people you want to invite," said Lorelai, "So we can get a rough estimate of how much space we'll need."
"Well, I don't really have that many people to invite. I think everybody I want to come already lives here."
"Aw, how sweet," said Lorelai, "Okay: practical question – would it be considered rude to not invite my mother?"
"Not any ruder than slapping her tightly across the face."
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"Lorelai, you're not serious …"
"Oh, of course I'm not serious," she slapped him on the arm, "What kind of monster do you take me for? I mean, sure, on my wedding day, my mother will probably insult my dress, my hair, my makeup, my lifestyle and my career, but family is family. Hah, and she'll be your mother in law. Good luck. You're walking into a death trap."
"I think I can take her,"
"Yeah, you just have to watch out for her sucker punches. She fights dirty," Lorelai said, getting up. "Well, I have to get going, I need to run some stuff through with Rory. I'll see you later?"
"Sure."
"Bye," said Lorelai, grabbing the folder and heading out the door.
* to be continued *
-----
And now for Chapter Two of my eleven year old cousin's new book, coming out soon:
Chaptar 2 : trestian and dean figth for rorey
Rory she iz surpriased at tristen he is here "tristen I tot u r in the school of militarey," she tells him she iz confused coz she luvs trestan he is her tru luv even though he sent to the militerary camp (a/n: dat is like so dumb coz he shld stay in stars hallow wif rory since he luvs her yeah if I write for da show I wld not make it hapen milatery skool idea is dumb). Dean iz angery he say to tristen stay Away from. Rory she is not urz anymore I luv rory. Lorelia is stare at them it is not a good day. Tristan say I will figth wif u dean for roryey my truest luv yeah and then they attck each other Stop Stop rory say Pls dun fight fighting is wrong! But tristen he punch dean and dean is unconschus, and tristen grab rory and kiss her coz he luv her "I luv u rory I wil neva leaf u again k" rory say I luve u tresten u r my real and onli luv 4eva and 4va she kis him again…..
~ ~ ~
More next week!
A/N: My eleven year old cousin sends her 'luv and gratetude' for all the praise you have given for the first chapter of her book : "Thrid Chances: The Trory Romence Colecttion". She has agreed to allow me to post the next part of her book at the end of this chapter. Yay!
A/N2: And Oregano, my she will be heading to Canada sometime in the fall, for her 'Thrid Chances' book signing tour, so I'll tell her to drop by and say hi to you.
*
"Hi, hi," Lorelai said as she pushed open the diner door carrying her yellow folder. She set it down on a table by the window and beckoned Luke to come. He put down the coffee pot he was holding and walked over.
"What now?"
"Sit, sit," said Lorelai, patting the chair next to hers, "Isn't it great that we don't feel weird around each other? It makes planning marital bliss much easier. Here, look at this." She opened the folder and slid it to him across the table.
"What's this?" He asked as he took a seat.
"A magical scroll that when read aloud, will open a doorway to the kingdom of Narnia," said Lorelai. "What do you think it looks like? It's our wedding stuff. I told you about this before."
"Hmm. To be honest I guess I wasn't really listening."
"Blah," she brushed his comment aside, "Anyways, there were literally hundreds of choices for everything, and when I say literally, I really do mean literally, I mean, look at how thick this folder is. So I've narrowed it down to like three or four choices for all the stuff. And when I say three or four, I really mean fifteen."
"Fifteen?" Luke flipped through the folder, looking worried.
"They are all seem perfect," said Lorelai.
"Well you can cross out this one," said Luke, showing her a page in the folder, "No way am I having one of those New Age weddings."
"Aw, I liked that one. Why not?"
"Because those freaks hold hands and hug trees at every ceremony."
"That is not true. They only hold hands some of the time," said Lorelai, "And besides for a few extra dollars you can get a raccoon to carry the rings."
"Raccoons have rabies."
"Well, I'm sorry, but the bear mauled the last couple so we can't use that."
"I don't want *any* animal to carry the rings."
"Why not?"
"Because, and I'm surprised you didn't know this already, but I think Jackson is much more competent at handling that area than a raccoon or a bear," said Luke.
"How about a trained badger?"
"Cross this out," Luke repeated.
"Fine," Lorelai took out a marker from her purse and drew a thick line across the page.
"I just thought you would like to have something different for a change. Oh, wait, before I forget, I need to ask you about the song selection. I was thinking for the first dance we could have Bette…"
"Please don't finish that sentence with 'Midler'."
"Oh, come on, Wind Beneath My Wings is the perfect wedding song."
"No."
"The Rose?"
"No."
"What do you want then? And before you say anything I don't think Margaritaville is a good song to play at a wedding."
"I wasn't going to suggest that," said Luke. "Look, I'm no good at all this stuff. If you want to ask me about the food, then maybe I'll have some input, but, music and themes, I…"
"Okay, I'll tell you what. I have a whole catalogue of songs in Appendix C of the folder here," she points to the appropriate tab, "So, why don't you tell me what kind of music you definitely don't want, and then we'll narrow it down. See, right now I'm crossing out Bette Midler, which is really, a waste if you ask me. Now, what don't you want to hear?"
"Erm," Luke paused, "Well, for starters, anything by anyone not old enough to vote."
"Oh! Are you sure? Because there's this really good Britney …"
"And," Luke cut her off quickly, "Any song that requires the singer to hold the same note for more than ten seconds."
"So, no Whitney Houston or Celine Dion. Check."
"And nothing too sappy. I hate sap."
"Okay. Only tough, manly songs."
"And nothing too slow."
"Gotcha. Fast, upbeat songs," Lorelai wrote the things down.
"And nothing with flutes. I hate flute music."
"No flutes. Done."
"Nothing from a movie. Those songs are all contrived and commercialized anyways."
"No soundtrack music. Check. Is that all?"
"I guess," said Luke.
Lorelai looked at the list. "So – to repeat: No Bette, no Britney, no Celine, no Whitney, no sap, nothing slow, no flute music and nothing from a soundtrack. Well, the only song I have here that matches that criteria is 'Bad Seed' by Metallica. What luck, with it being my mother's favorite song and all."
"That's not funny," said Luke. "I'm sure there are a few decent songs somewhere in there that don't make me want to scratch my eyes out."
"I'm sure there is," Lorelai writes down a short note by the side of the page, "I'll go home and sort out the list with Rory. I think we'll be able to come up with something."
"All right. Is that all?"
"Well. Yeah. Sookie's handling the food and the catering so we don't have to worry about that. And I talked things through with Taylor, so we can probably have the wedding right here in Stars Hollow, so that covers the venue, and, well, aside from the decorations and invitations, I guess that's it," said Lorelai. "Hmm. It seemed like a much bigger deal when I was walking here."
"It's probably the folder," said Luke, "I'm sorry I'm not much help. It seems like you're doing everything."
"Oh, I don't mind," she said, "I plan events all the time. I run an inn, remember? And besides, it's fun."
"Really?"
"Totally," said Lorelai, "Don't sweat it. You're a man. You're not supposed to care about the wedding anyway."
"That sounds harsh."
"I don't mean it like that," said Lorelai, "I'm just saying, men just aren't interested in all this stuff. I think you'd sooner tear off your own arm than go through what kind of lace design is appropriate for the tablecloth. But that's okay, it's what I'm here for."
"It's not that I'm not interested…"
"It's okay, Luke. I told you, you don't have to be."
"Yeah, but you know, I kind of feel guilty about not… being more involved," said Luke, "I mean, even you said the last time that the wedding shouldn't just be about you."
"So, what, you want to help me pick out lace patterns? You're more than welcome."
"Not that part," Luke said hastily, "Just… I don't know, I just want to help out. It doesn't feel right otherwise."
"Sure, that sounds good. You know, it's really sweet that you still want to be so involved even though it's not even really a real wedding."
"I just feel that I should."
Lorelai smiled at him. "All right, then, for the invitations, I'll need a list of people you want to invite," said Lorelai, "So we can get a rough estimate of how much space we'll need."
"Well, I don't really have that many people to invite. I think everybody I want to come already lives here."
"Aw, how sweet," said Lorelai, "Okay: practical question – would it be considered rude to not invite my mother?"
"Not any ruder than slapping her tightly across the face."
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"Lorelai, you're not serious …"
"Oh, of course I'm not serious," she slapped him on the arm, "What kind of monster do you take me for? I mean, sure, on my wedding day, my mother will probably insult my dress, my hair, my makeup, my lifestyle and my career, but family is family. Hah, and she'll be your mother in law. Good luck. You're walking into a death trap."
"I think I can take her,"
"Yeah, you just have to watch out for her sucker punches. She fights dirty," Lorelai said, getting up. "Well, I have to get going, I need to run some stuff through with Rory. I'll see you later?"
"Sure."
"Bye," said Lorelai, grabbing the folder and heading out the door.
* to be continued *
-----
And now for Chapter Two of my eleven year old cousin's new book, coming out soon:
Chaptar 2 : trestian and dean figth for rorey
Rory she iz surpriased at tristen he is here "tristen I tot u r in the school of militarey," she tells him she iz confused coz she luvs trestan he is her tru luv even though he sent to the militerary camp (a/n: dat is like so dumb coz he shld stay in stars hallow wif rory since he luvs her yeah if I write for da show I wld not make it hapen milatery skool idea is dumb). Dean iz angery he say to tristen stay Away from. Rory she is not urz anymore I luv rory. Lorelia is stare at them it is not a good day. Tristan say I will figth wif u dean for roryey my truest luv yeah and then they attck each other Stop Stop rory say Pls dun fight fighting is wrong! But tristen he punch dean and dean is unconschus, and tristen grab rory and kiss her coz he luv her "I luv u rory I wil neva leaf u again k" rory say I luve u tresten u r my real and onli luv 4eva and 4va she kis him again…..
~ ~ ~
More next week!