Hermione had been staying with the Weasley's most of the time. Every now and then she would return to her own home, but she couldn't stand seeing it without her parents. She was looking for her parents as well, apparating to Australia for a week at a time to try and follow their footsteps, but despite the extended summer Hermione hadn't had any luck. She missed them desperately, though she knew that she had to believe that she'd find them eventually. She had to keep the idea in her head that she'd be able to return their memories and that she would be yelled at for taking them away in the first place. She could handle being yelled at if it was her parents who were doing it.

The Weasley house was a very somber place to be; it definitely wasn't giving her hope for finding her parents. She knew it was because Fred had died and everyone, including her, was taking the death hard, but it freaked her out to see how much it had changed the family. Ron wasn't himself and she had a feeling that he wouldn't be for a while, though at least he had agreed to repeat, or rather do for the first time, the last year at Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall, the new headmistress, thought it would be a good idea for everyone to get a proper year, so she'd invited them all back. Hermione had been the first of her friends to say yes; Ron had actually been next. Harry was more apprehensive about it because he was taking his responsibility as Teddy Lupin's godfather very serious. Half of the time he was with Andromdea Tonks instead of with the Weasleys, though she knew that Mrs. Weasley was proud of him.

Hermione was proud of him too, but she was still having trouble with the aftermath of the battle so expressing her pride wasn't the easiest thing to do. She never thought that, out of her friends, she'd be the one to fall apart after the battle. She'd thought that it would be Harry, because of his long history with bad events, or Ron because he never really took dangerous things the best. But Hermione knew that's she'd always been a rather constant person; she'd always been calmer in dangerous situations. She'd always been better with coping than Ron and Harry. But the battle had changed that about her; she wasn't handling it well. She had nightmares almost every night of spells flying around her and of people falling dead. On occasion she'd be surrounded by the people who had died and they would shout blame at her for their deaths. She would be walking around and suddenly be back in the battle, something that terrified her. She'd even started to avoid using magic despite being seventeen; she didn't want to feel the wand in her hands anymore because she didn't want to think about casting all the spells she'd cast during the fight. These were all problems that she knew she'd have to get over if she wanted to have a successful year at Hogwarts; she was working on her problems.

It was going to be an odd year, she realized, for multiple reasons. The first being that there would be double the amount of first years, which was very unusual. Then there was the fact that almost everyone in the castle would know someone who had been killed during the battle, so she had a feeling that the castle was going to be quite somber as well. Then there was the fact that it would look different, because Hermione was sure half of the castle had to be rebuilt. Then there was a new program that Professor McGonagall had started. The Delegates. Hermione was very confused when she received her letter because of that part of the system. The Delegates were a group of four people, one from each house. Hermione still didn't know who the others were, but she was the one from Gryffindor. They would have their own private living quarters and a shared common room where they could discuss issues among the houses. Professor McGonagall was convinced that they could figure out ways to make each house feel that it was important, something she thought had lead to some turning against Hogwarts during the battle. Hermione wasn't exactly thrilled about the position; she'd been expecting to spend most of her time with Harry and Ron to try and bring their friendship a little closer once more, but she hadn't wanted to turn it down. She was convinced that it would make her parents proud, if she ever found them, to know that their daughter was trying to help people in her school.

She was slightly excited about getting her own room though; in all her years at Hogwarts she'd shared with Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, and a few other girls. But now that Lavender was dead and Parvati had lost her best friend, Hermione knew that the dormitory would be a terrible place to be. She couldn't handle Parvati's sadness, she realized, and while that made her feel awful she didn't think there was anything she could do about it. Having her own room and common room to go to would make it easier to ignore the faces missing from Gryffindor. She didn't want to think about all of the death that had occured; going back to the castle was freaking her out enough as it was without having that added in.

If being worried about being reminded of all of the death that had occured wasn't enough, Hermione was afraid of people finding out about the scar on her arm. Despite trying multiple times to remove the scar, it wouldn't go away. Hermione had come to the conclusion that the blade Bellatrix Lestrange had used to carve the word into her was cursed so the scar would be there forever. She knew that people would be curious about the word if they saw it and she'd be questioned about what had happened. Going into the torture she'd received at Malfoy Manor was not something she wanted to do either. Thinking about the torture would make her start to have nightmares about that as well, which would only make her feel worse.

She wished that she could talk to someone about what was going on with her head, but she didn't know who to turn to. Normally Harry or Ron would have been her first choice, but with Harry worried about being a good example for Teddy and Ron still struggling with Fred's death, they were out. Her parents were impossible to talk to, so that wouldn't happen either. Hermione would have felt guilty talking to anyone in the Weasley family, for she thought that their problems were bigger than her own. If she'd had even one other close friend she would have gone straight to them, but there was no one. There was no one to help her make sense of the mess that her head had become.

It was only a night before they went back though. Hermione was with the Weasley's once more, as Mrs. Weasley had insisted that she stay for the last night at home before the school year. Hermione had wanted to go back to her own home and sleep in her own bed one last time, but she thought that rejecting the offer would have been rude. She didn't sleep very well while at the Weasley's though, because she was afraid to wake up screaming from her nightmares. She didn't want to wake Ginny, whose room she was sleeping in, or anyone else because then they'd be able to tell that she wasn't keeping it together like they expected her to. She couldn't let others know that she wasn't always on top of everything; being on top of everything was something she prided herself on. So it was with a sigh that Hermione had nodded, knowing that she would have to wake early the next morning after only getting an hour or two of sleep. She wasn't looking forward to morning.

But at least, she thought, they would be going back to Hogwarts. She would be getting a private room that she would enchant so her screams couldn't be heard at night, and then she might be able to get anther hour or two of sleep. Three or four solid hours of rest sounded like a good idea to her at the time, so she would do anything for it. Even if that meant going back to the castle when she wasn't sure if she could handle it.

It was around eight the morning of September first that Hermione had been shaken awake by Ginny, whose eyes were a mixture of excitement and despair. It was an odd combination on the girl that Hermione wasn't the biggest fan of, though she didn't say anything about it. She just got up and pulled on a fresh outfit, her eyelids heavy and attempting to drop back into place. "Harry will be meeting us at the platform," Ginny said quietly as the two girls exited the room. "I haven't seen him in so long, it feels like, so getting to sit and talk with him on the train will be nice,"

"I imagine so," Hermione said, nodding slightly. She was happy for Ginny and Harry, really; they were together once more and having Harry helped Ginny to cope with Fred's death. They were a loving couple when together, which Hermione was jealous of. She'd technically been dating Ron for a few months, though their relationship was nothing like Harry and Ginny's. Ron wouldn't talk to her about anything serious and he would snap at her for trying to talk about a book or about school. The last kiss they'd had was back during the battle; he hadn't wanted much to do with her after that. Not even when he'd found her crying outside his house. He'd just told her to pull herself together and go inside because supper was about to start.

"It will be nice for you to get to spend a lot of time with Ron on the train, right?" Ginny asked.

Hermione wasn't entirely sure what to say. She didn't want to spend much more time with Ron because she was sure that they wouldn't end up together, but this was his little sister she was talking to. Hermione couldn't give it away that she'd fallen out of love, if she could even say that she had fallen into it, with Ronald Weasley. It was a selfish reason, she knew, because she wanted the Weasleys to like her the way they liked Harry; she wanted them to be like her family in case she couldn't find her own. "I imagine that it will be quite nice," she mumbled.

Of course Ginny didn't notice how unhappy Hermione was in her relationship though; she was too focused on Fred and Harry to realize what was going on with Hermione. Hermione could accept that though, because she knew that Ginny was stuck in a place of happiness and despair; Ginny was focused on getting out of that place. She could understand Ginny not noticing her problems then. "Mum's still upset about us all going back,"

"I'm not surprised by that," Hermione said, pleased that the conversation was switching away from her and Ron. "If I was in her place I wouldn't want my children going back either,"

Ginny glanced at her and shrugged. "It's an education though; we need that,"

"Now you sound like me," Hermione said, hoping to hear her friend laugh. That didn't happen though; Ginny just nodded.

"Yeah, well, I guess that's not too bad," Ginny said, sitting down at the kitchen table. Hermione sat down next to her, picking up a piece of toast that Mrs. Weasley had made. It was nice of her to make them breakfast, though she was surprised that Mrs. Weasley wasn't int he kitchen with them. Usually she would have been bustling around, trying to make sure that everyone had everything ready to go for school. Hermione had a feeling that she was busy pleading with Ron not to go back, as that was most of what Mrs. Weasley talked to Ron about these days. She knew that she couldn't convince Ginny to stay home, but Ginny had always been more stubborn than Ron.

After a few moments more joined them at the table, and Hermione saw Ron sitting across from her. He didn't even acknowledge her presece; he just sat down and began eating. The kitchen table was silent for a few minutes, and it was with a sigh that Hermione stood and walked back to Ginny's room. She had to finish packing for school; she couldn't wait to get on the train. Hermione was determined to have a good year and get over her nightmares and the flashbacks of the battle.