A Rift in the Fabric of Time
by Lady of Spain

Chapter 1: Witch Trial

Disclaimer : Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander

I should have known better than to trust anything that Laoghaire told me. After all, Geillis had disclosed that it was Laoghaire that put the awful talisman under my pillow over a fortnight ago. Alas, the bleeding compassion I had for other people's suffering set aside my mistrust. I paid dearly for that, and it was only by some miracle that Jamie found me before I was doomed to drown, and forced the witch hunters to release me.

If I was a witch, it would've behooved me to put a curse on that wicked little blonde. I would have certainly enjoyed doing it as well. Perhaps a case of severe acne, or halitosis could settle the score. Oh yes, revenge would certainly have been most sweet.

Jamie had brought along another horse for me to ride … away from the superstitious lot. I suppose he thought it would hasten our departure from the inquisitors. Truthfully, I wished he would have hauled me up, to sit in front of him on Trom Laighe. To feel his warm body pressed to mine, and his steady heart beat through his jerkin, would have been a source of comfort to me. How close I had come to being drowned or burned at the stake! Even now, miles from the dock, my quaking was uncontrollable. To be sure, I felt the need to be held tightly to prevent my flying apart.

I halted Brimstone, and Jamie, just a few paces ahead, looked back to see what happened. I slid off the horse and with the reins in one hand, led my animal through a thicket of trees, and plunked down on the ground. Jamie followed suit, racing toward me.

I exhaled loud and long, gesturing for Jamie to come sit with me.

Clearly concerned, Jamie's brow furrowed. "Sassenach, are ye all right?"

"Absolutely not. Can you give me just a minute? I can't seem to stop shaking."

"I ken what yer meanin' is, as I can truly say as I'm nearly shakin' wi' ye as weel. God in heaven, woman; my heart was in my throat, to hear ye'd been taken, and accused o' witchcraft."

He settled beside me, and with one strong arm hooked around my shoulder, pulled me snugly against his torso.

"I asked ye to stay at Leoch, and see what trouble ye brought down on yerself, for no' obeyin' me? Now, what possessed ye to be wi' that woman, when ye ken as she's a charmer? I expect she had somethin' to do wi' killin' her husband, as weel."

I gazed into those clear blue eyes, and explained, "I would never have done it if it weren't for that bloody Laoghaire. She told me that Geillis was gravely ill. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't let my friend die when I, alone could possibly save her."

"Stars and stones! And ye believed the lass?"

"Well, yes. Why would she lie about something like that?"

"Och … why, indeed, but I dinna believe the girl is verra fond o' ye. She's a wee bit jealous o'er the fact as ye're marrit to me."

"That's an idiotic thing to say. Even if she wished it, she could no more marry you than Angus could marry the Queen of England. Not that he'd want to."

He murmured in my ear. "It wouldna made nay difference to that girl. The shame of it is, I didna want to marry her, bonny or no. I havna a lick of feelin's for the poor lass. Anaways, I needed a woman no a child."

"I'm sorry I listened to her at any rate." I hung my head, and sighed. "Oh, Scotty, I'm just so tired of running all the time, but I imagine we should mount our horses and be on our way—wherever that is. I'm ready to ride. I feel better now; I think my heart has finally stopped fluttering at least. Thank you. I really needed to have your arms around me for just a little while."

My Scotsman hoisted me to my feet, and drawing me close, gave me a quick kiss. We walked the horses to the road when I asked, "Where are we going anyway?"

"D'ye remember the cabin where we stayed for a bit, by the Ballachulish Creek?"

"I remember it well; isn't that where we hid from the Black Watch?"

"Aye, we'll be hidin' there for t'night as weel."

After Jamie carried in some wood and kindling, he started a fire in the hearth of the lone bedroom. We spread our hides over the dusty mattress, and laid out the blankets, then sat down by the burning logs while Jamie roasted a rabbit he had caught on the way to the cabin. While Jamie was previously occupied with the capture of the animal, I gathered some elderberry drupes, and pine nuts. He also had brought along some bannocks with him, safe in his saddle bags so we wouldn't starve altogether during our return journey to Leoch.

Side by side, we ate in silence, the creaking of the cabin beams, howling of the wind and crackling of the fire our only accompaniment. Jamie all the while, stared into the flames, obviously miles away.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Turning to me, he asked, "What's that ye said?"

I shrugged and tried to smile although, by all accounts, it was a futile attempt. He wasn't the only one haunted by thoughts. "It's just a saying."

"Ah …"

Jamie averted his eyes once more, so it was up to me to get the Scottish tomb to open up.

"Out with it, Scotty."

With his voice just above a whisper, he said, "I told ye once, as there were secrets ye could keep from me, but …"

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! You don't actually believe that I'm a witch, do you?"

He stirred about the blazing wood pile absently with the iron poker. "I dinna ken what to believe, Sassenach. Ye did weave a spell as bound me to ye, but I'll no complain 'bout that. Leastways, it's been a long day, and ye must be knackered, so we best lie down and rest for a bit afore we puzzle it out."

. . . . .

I fell asleep at once, enveloped in Jamie's warm embrace. I was awakened hours later by Jamie whispering, "Sassenach, are ye awake?"

His hand was roaming beneath my shift, and his nose nuzzling the slope of my shoulder. Nothing short of being dead could make me stay asleep with that going on.

"I am now," I answered. I flipped over onto my other side to face him. "I thought you said you were knackered."

"Nay. If ye listened correctly, I said as ye were knackered, I'm ne'er so knackered as I would give op the opportunity o' makin' love to mo nighean donn. D'ye mind verra much?"

I touched his nose with my index finger. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure."

For some reason, our lovemaking lasted twice as long as usual. I could almost compare it to a last meal by a man on death row. I was clenched in his arms for the longest time afterwards, fearful that he would never let go. I wished he would open up and tell me what was on his mind. Maybe I could pry it out of him sometime in the morning.

# # # # #

Bewildered I was, and I couldna sleep a wink, what wi' the Sassenach so close to me, her body whisperin' to mine all the night long, I want you, Jamie. Take me, take me, please. And so I did, when the wantin' got so bad awful as I couldna stand it any longer. I was apt to die for want o' her.

I kent as she would tell me the damned secret as for so long had come betwixt us, and was scairt outta my wits, as she would be leavin' me soon. I was scairt as this night would be the last night to make her mine in our marriage bed. What was the secret, and why could she no tell me? I was her husband. Was it fair to keep it from me?

Afore we were marrit, Murtagh said that woman do have their secrets, but this was more than that. I could feel it in my verra bones. Whate'er it was, it would be waitin' 'til morn, but for right now, I would love her like there was nay tomorrow, for truly, I didna ken if there be a tomorrow with my Claire or no.

It was the hardest thing to let go o' mo nighean donn. Would I e'er get to love her agin like this? I wanted to cry, but kept it inside o' me, for she needed her sleep, and I felt it shameful to let her see my eyes wet wi' cryin'. At last, I was forced to loosen my hold on the lass who stole my heart, and swallowed my bitter tears.

# # # # #

With the last of the bannocks eaten for breakfast, I began rolling up the animal hides so we could be back on the road. Jamie stopped me, and gently pushing on my shoulders, sat me on the bed.

"Claire, can ye no tell me what it is as stands o'er us like a damn shadow."

"I want to tell you, but you probably won't believe me."

"Whether I believe or no, isna the problem. We vowed to each other, Sassenach, as we would always tell the truth. Are ye ready to let me ken what it is then?"

"All right." I puffed out my cheeks and blew out a bubble of air. "Remember the song that minstrel sang at Castle Leoch—the one about the girl who came through the stones … from another time?"

"Aye. Ye were sittin' beside me when he sang it."

"Jamie … everything in that song … it's true, because I came through those very stones—the standing stones at Craigh na Dun. This time, you see … it isn't my time. That's why I couldn't talk about it to anyone. They would think I was crazy, or worse yet, a witch. And as you could obviously tell, that was the very case. But, I'm not a witch—I'm only a lost soul from the future."

Jamie had his eyes shut tight while I continued to narrate my tale. Perhaps he thought I was insane as I had predicted. Instead, as I finished, he opened his eyes, and nodded, then quietly rolled up the rest of the bedding.

# # # # #

It wasna possible, was it? Yet, it had a ring o' truth 'bout it. Claire had a lot o' learnin' and such 'bout thin's … herbs, healin', and medicine, and could prophesy 'bout occurrences as if they had already happened. Maybe they had. One thin' was for certain; she claimed her Frank was waitin' for her in 1945, and I hadna right to keep the lass from her lawful husband. Aye, it is verra painful to accept that the woman ye love must leave, yet I kent as I had to let her go back to where she once belonged. It was the honorable thin' to do, much as it broke my heart to do so.

When we took to the road agin, I prayed to God Almighty, to help me be strong enough to release her from my side. Claire noticed as we had changed direction, and were headin' away from Castle Leoch.

"Where are we going, Jamie?"

"I'm takin' ye to Craigh na Dun, and back to yer husband." And God help me do what is right, for I canna do it on my own.