It had been the slowest month of Eric's whole entire life, but it was finally over. He was finally going home, to where Kylie was. He couldn't wait to see her again, to hold her again, to kiss her again. But, more than that, he couldn't wait to finally see his baby for the first time. It was a boy, he knew. He also knew that Kylie had named him something Jewish just to spite her husband and please her mother – Elijah Ezra Cartman. But how he looked, how he felt, and how he smelt were all things he didn't know yet, but would be learning very soon.

As he made his way out of arrivals, rolling his suitcase behind him, he was on the lookout for a red-headed woman – a Disney Ariel look-alike, except with a bigger nose and a worse singing voice. His search was made harder due to the fact that Kylie wasn't too tall, and so was sure to be hidden behind other airport-goers lurking around. He decided that the best course of action was to stay where he was, look around, and wait for the crowd of people filing out into Denver airport disperse. He hated waiting though – he was tired of doing it after a whole month. He just wanted to find his wife, meet his child, and go home with the both of them. Luckily, everybody else was in as big of a hurry as he, so he didn't have to wait too long before the area was clearer. He looked around anew, and then his breath hitched, and the rest of the world fell away.

There she was, standing just a short way away. The sight of her still didn't fail to get his heart fluttering and fill him with warmth. He still loved her as dearly as the last day he saw her, if not more so. And in her arms was a new sight – a tiny human, with petit, pudgy, pink hands and a button nose, looking all around with eyes of a deep brown. Eric's hands. Eric's nose. Eric's eyes. The tiny human was his, partly. Partly Kylie's, as could be seen from the tufts of red starting to sprout from his head. With his small, dark eyes and his red hair sticking up, Elijah looked kind of like a troll doll. He was a funny-looking baby, that was for sure. Eric had never fallen in love so fast. He had never moved so fast either, striding across the floor with purpose to get to them, to see Kylie's smile up close, because she was smiling, beaming brightly just for him.

A couple of feet from them he let go of his roller suitcase so that it fell and landed on the floor, and he held out his arms to wrap them around the woman he loved most in the world. She couldn't hug back very well, what with her own arms being full of baby, but she clutched onto the back of his shirt as tightly as was possible with one hand, and allowed herself to be swayed and rocked in his arms. Elijah was cradled between them, looking sort of squashed and very confused about what was happening.

"I'm back," Eric announced, loving how good that felt to finally say that, and how Kylie's reply felt just as good to hear.

"Welcome back."

Chortling delightedly, he pulled away slightly, to smile down at her, feeling the happiest he had been in weeks. "I missed you," he said sincerely, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "So much. I thought about you every day."

"Ugh." Kylie screwed up her nose like she had smelt something bad and pulled her head away from his hand. "Going away makes you all soppy. Never do it again."

"Don't worry, I won't," Eric laughed, before bending down slowly, steadying his hands on his knees, to be eye-level with the small human in Kylie's arms. "And who's this, huh?" Elijah didn't gurgle in response or anything – he was very quiet. He just looked warily back at him, obviously not too keen on strangers.

"Do you want to hold him?" Kylie asked.

Eric didn't need to think twice before nodding his head, standing upright, and holding his hands out at the ready. "Yeah, give him here."

Kylie passed Eric's baby to him to hold for the first time, and he laid him across the length of his forearm and cupped the back of his head in the palm of his hand. The first thing he thought was how warm he was. He was like a little human hot water bottle against his arm. The way Elijah looked back at him, with tiny brows furrowed (already he looked like his mother), he almost seemed to be scrutinising him. 'Who the heck are you?' he was probably thinking. Eric decided to answer that question.

"Hey, baby. I'm your daddy." That felt so surreal to say that Eric almost choked on it – only just about managed to get it past the lump forming in his throat. Daddy. He was a daddy. Despite being told that though, Elijah still looked a little confused, his brow furrowing further and his forehead crinkling like an old man's, and Eric laughed. His expressions were great, just like his mother's.

"Your hand is bigger than his head," Kylie chortled. Eric grinned, but not so much at the same thing Kylie had found amusing – rather more at the t-shirt Elijah was wearing, which had writing on the front which read MY DADDY IS THE COOLEST.

"That's a cool shirt," he said, nodding to it. "I like it."

"Thought you would," Kylie replied with a knowing smile. "Kenny bought it."

"Kenny did? Ah, shit, I bet he's bankrupt now. Poor-boy's gonna be living on crumbs till his next paycheque."

"He's actually not doing too bad now. He's got a lot of gigs lined up at Skeeter's, and he's sold a few CDs busking in Denver. He's still got his day jobs too, so yeah."

"Huh. Really?" Cartman asked, a brow and the corner of his lips quirking. "Well, what d'ya know."

Kylie nodded. "Yeah, he'll be at the Welcome Home party tomorrow, so he'll probably tell you all about it then. Oh, and he's bringing his new girlfriend, Sarah. She's really nice. I think this one might be a keeper."

"You said that about Bethany."

"Yeah, but that was before she cheated on him."

"All I'm saying is don't pre-judge. She could be a total bitch in disguise."

"You mean like you?" Kylie replied, smirking.

"Ouch," Cartman chortled. "Why did I come back to such cruelty?"

"I don't know. Why did you? Turn around and get back on the plane while you still can – it's not too late."

"And suffer that long-ass flight again? Nah, I'll just stay here with my naggy wife. After all, this kid needs at least one awesome role model in its life."

"I agree. But where are we going to find one?"

A simpering smirk grew on Eric's face, and he leant down to press his face into Kylie's, so that their fringes mingled and their noses touched and their eyes met, each pair softening as they gazed into the other. "Look in your bed tonight," he murmured in a low, husky voice. "He'll be there."

Kylie shifted her head, so that the slopes of their noses pressed closer together, and her eyes looked deeper into his. "He'd better be. I haven't had anyone in there for a whole month."

"Missed me? Been lonely?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. That's for me to know and you to find out."

"Hmm," Eric hummed. "I have my ways of finding out." He slowly shut his eyes, as did Kylie, as he gradually closed the gap between them, pushing forward those extra few inches until their lips met in a kiss he had been craving for weeks. Even after so long, Kylie still didn't fail to get his heart racing and his veins buzzing and his skin tingling. He guessed that he did the same for her, since she sighed contentedly as they kissed. Everything felt perfect. But all good things came to an end, and their kiss did when Elijah started up making agitated sounds in between the two of them. They pulled away with a laugh, and Eric moved Elijah so that he was resting against his chest, and lightly bounced him up and down. "Hey, don't be like that," he said smilingly. "Daddy's home. Isn't that great?"

"Not really," Kylie laughed.

"Mommy's a liar," Eric whispered conspiringly to Elijah. "Take daddy's advice, don't believe anything she tells you. Daddy's totally super cool."

"Daddy's delusional," Kylie said with a smile. Eric only laughed, and pulled Elijah close to him, and held him so that his lips could reach his little forehead. He shut his eyes and stood there rocking and swaying gently as he kissed his son, savouring the feel of him, loving him more and more with every second he spent in his arms. He breathed him in as he kissed him, learning his smell to heart, and he smelt glorious – fresh and new, and yet distinctly like his mother.

"So what do you think of him?" Kylie asked.

Eric pulled Elijah away, to smile down at his scrunched-up, little face, and to answer, "He's perfect. He's half me though, so of course he would be."

Kylie rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You're so full of it," she sighed, but she was smiling as she did so. Maybe it was full of him to think it, but he thought she looked happy to have him and his arrogance back. Even if she was though, she wouldn't admit it. But that was fine with Eric. He didn't need anything admitted to him – he just knew, from looking at her, from seeing that she was there to meet him, from the fact that she had chosen to start a family with him, that she loved him as much as he did her. So, silently, he smiled, whilst she went to pick up his suitcase for him. "Come on," she said when she returned to his side, taking up his free hand in hers and intertwining their fingers. "Let's go home."

'Home,' Eric thought. His wife's hand was in his. His child was in his arms. He was home.

"Klingt gut," he agreed, and, with that, the little family of three left, together at last.

Author's Notes:

So there you have it. I don't know, I thought it was cute. If you did too, then that's good. If not, then sorry.
I love writing Eric and Kyle's banter - it's so much fun. I just wish that ideas for whole entire lengthy verbal exchanges wouldn't hit me all at once at what-the-fuck o'clock at night or stupid o'clock in the morning. Ah, the life of a fanfiction writer is a sleep-deprived one.
Also, musician Kenny anyone? After his operatic training in S04E04 'Quintuplets' I thought he'd be pretty good musically.
Thank you for reading this, and I hope you had as much fun doing so as I did writing it.

Disclaimer: South Park does not belong to me, but to its creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone.