Well, hey there, guys, this is PK2 here, and this is ANOTHER new fanfic! Now, I know what you are thinking "OH MY GODS PK2 IS STOPPING AURA CYCLE!" NO, I AM NOT. I have had this rotting in my computer since December, but only now was I able to get the OK-GO from my inspiration, aka gamer4. This is a Smash Bros fic that takes the characters of the Smash Bros games and inserts them into the story of Harry Potter, starring Ness as the Boy who Lived! So, without further ado, here we go-a!

DISCLAIMER: PK2 does not own SSB or Harry Potter. If PK2 owned SSB, Wolf would not have been cut from SSB4 and if PK2 owned Harry Potter, Lupin and Tonks would still be alive!

James and Joanna Bond of 1794 Microsoft Lane were proud to say that they were as normal as normal could go. James was a tall lanky British man with close cropped brown hair and a slightly reddish face. He was the owner of a company called Skyfall Industries, which made watches. His wife Joanna was a slightly bulky woman with black hair and a keen eye, which was very useful for spying on her neighbors. James and Joanna had a baby son named Porky, and in their opinion Porky was the finest boy the country had seen in forever.

Yes, the Bonds had everything that any family would want, but they also carried the burden of a dreadful secret, and the immense fear that the secret would be discovered.

They absolutely dreaded to think about what the folk would say when they learned about the Greils. Mrs. Bond was Mrs. Greil's older sister, but they never spoke. In fact Joanna and James pretended that Joanna had no siblings, because Mr. and Mrs. Greil were anything but normal. The Bonds knew that the Greils had a son around Porky's age, but he was just another reason for the Bonds to not contact with the Greils- they would let a train run over their house before letting Porky mix with a boy who was a… a… they couldn't even say what the Greils were!

When the Bonds awoke on the rainy Thursday morning that this tale begins, no hint could be found to show that anything was different or life changing. Mr. Bond whistled the Star Wars theme as he tried to decide what pair of identical black shoes he would wear, while Mrs. Bond chatted away happily on the phone as she tried to unsuccessfully coax a spoonful of baby food into Porky's mouth.

None of them noticed the black-and-white hawk soar gracefully past the kitchen window.

At exactly 9:00 AM, Mr. Bond picked up his suitcase, kissed his wife goodbye, and tried to tousle Porky's hair but failed as the boy has sobbing a mess and had his head tipped all the way up. "Ah, the little tramp." Mr. Bond snorted before heading out.

It was at the corner of Microsoft Lane that he saw the first sign of peculiarness: a slim purple cat reading a book. Mr. Bond had to blink to check his vision. There was a purple cat, but no book in sight. As Mr. Bond turned the corner, it focused on the sign that said Microsoft Lane. Mr. Bond shrugged it off and focused on a large supply of watches he was hoping to have shipped to him.

But on the street across his work place, Mr. Bond saw a group of strange people dressed up. And these weren't normal getups, these getups looked straight like something from an anime! What in the name of… Ah, well, he would have to tell them off later.

Mr. Bond's office had no windows. It made the area a little stuffy in summer, but it made it easier to concentrate. As such, Mr. Bond didn't see the black-and-white hawks swooping around in mass numbers, to the astonishment to the other folk who had never seen many hawks, let alone black and white ones! But Mr. Bond had a perfectly calm, hawk-free morning, full of yelling and calling. It wasn't until he decided to head across to the deli for a sandwich around noon when things got suspicious.

As he trotted over to the deli, Mr. Bond caught eye of the anime roleplayers and eyed them angrily. He tried to get over to them so he could slap them, but the he caught wind of what they were gossiping about.

"The Greils, yes, those are the ones…"

"Yes, their young son, Ness…"

Mr. Bond froze. What the… How did theses roleplayers know about his disgraced in-laws? All thoughts of a nice BLT gone, Mr. Bond ran to his office. He locked himself up in his room and instantly attempted to call Joanna. At the last moment however, he stopped himself and decided to left Joanna have her peace of mind. And so he returned to his work.

When Mr. Bond arrived at the house, the first thing that he saw was the cat, now skulling around his front steps. He angrily kicked it as he headed inside. The first thing he heard was the news:

"Well, guys, that finishes up our report on the hawk sighting. Now on to the weather."

"Thanks, Tom. Well, no snow like I promised, but a lot of shooting stars around the area! These people still don't get that Fourth of July is over! That's it for the news fellers!"

That was it. That. Was. IT. Mr. Bond stormed up to Mrs. Bond's room for answers. Mrs. Bond greeted her husband with a smile, then noticed his agitated mood. "What's the matter, dearie?"

"Joanna, have you heard any news from your sister's family recently?" Mr. Bond asked, to which Mrs. Bond angrily replied back with "No, WHY?"

"Well, I heard weird things on the news… and saw weird people in town… but it's nothing to worry about!" Mr. Bond stuttered, sweatdropping. "OK." replied Mrs. Bond, relaxing. " But, what was their son's name?" Mr. Bond asked, praying to God that it was something like Noah or Nathan.

"Ness. Ugly, obscure name." Mr. Bond resisted the urge to scream while muttering "I agree."

And with that, they went to bed. But not even moments after the lights were turned off, a strange figure arrived at Microsoft Lane.

This man was a slightly stout man, with bushy brown hair and a mustache to match. Actually, his hair wasn't even visible as the man covered it with a red cap with an M on it He also wore a red shirt, overalls, jeans, and simple black shoes. This man was named Mario Shroomer.

Mario Shroomer did not seem to care that he was on a street where his mustache, last name, and generally anything weird was unwelcomed. He pulled out an ancient looking flute and blew a note. One of the street lamps went out. Mario blew the Eon Flute until the only glow came from the cat's eyes. The cat was nursing it's kick bruise on a rock, but now it's attention was fixed on Mario. Mario caught the cat staring at him and chuckled. "Oh, what else would I expect?" he asked himself. He slipped the Eon Flute in his pocket and sat down on the same rock as the cat.

"Lucina, I wasn't expecting to see you at this hour."

Mario grinned at the cat- or rather, lack therof, for in the cat's place was a stern looking blue haired woman.

"Mario, how did you recognize me?" the woman asked.

"Why, Lucina, no normal Purrloin would lie on a rock with such discomfort!"

"You'd lie down with discomfort if you had been precariously balancing on a garden fence for most of the day!" Lucina scoffed.

"All day? At a time when you could be celebrating? Almost every Smasher house I've came across has been partying!" Mario exclaimed.

"Oh, yes, everybody's celebrating. But they should get more sense- even the Contras noticed!" Lucina snarled. "Shooting stars- I'm betting that was Alph Hocotate, the senseless fool!"

"We have been living in fear for 11 years, so why can't we let footloose?" Mario asked.

"That's the thing!" Lucina barked. "Flocks of Staraptors… the shooting stars… and of course, the rumors." Lucina shuddered. "It certainly would be fine if the Contras discover us on the same day that The Unnamable falls- if the Unnamable is really gone."

"It seems as if He is gone. Would you care for an Oreo, Lucina?"

"A WHAT?"

"An Oreo. They're a type of Contra snack that I have a soft spot for." Mario explained.

"This is not a time for snacks." Lucina snarled, but Mario, who was breaking apart an Oreo, didn't care. "I want to know if the rumors about the Unnamable are-"

"Oh, Lucina, surely you would be sensible enough to say his name? For years I have been trying to get people to say the name- Andross." Lucina flinched at the name, but continued.

"So, what I have heard these rumors say that the Unnama- okay, Andross, went over to Sakurai's Grotto last night. He went to find the Greils. The rumors are that Ike and Samus Greil are… are that they are DEAD."

Mario nodded slowly. Lucina gasped.

"Ike... and Samus… I didn't want to believe the rumors… the Greils were too good… Oh, Mario…"

"I know, I know." Mario spoke reassuringly, though he was tearing up.

"But that's not all." Lucina pressed on "The rumors say that Andross attempted to kill Ike and Samus's baby son, Ness. But… he failed. And Andross's power was drained, and that's why he's gone."

Mario bowed. Lucina's jaw dropped.

"HOW IN THE NAME OF GRIMA?" Lucina screamed "Andross killed Smashers with as much power as you, but he failed at killing a BABY?"

"The ways of fate are strange sometimes." Mario whispered. He then inspected a watch with weird little symbols instead of numbers, but which obviously made sense to him because he then announced: "Ganondorf's late. I'm pretty sure it was him who told you I would come."

"Yes, it was him. But why are you here?" Lucina asked.

"I'm bringing Ness to his aunt and uncle. They're his only living relatives."

"Good Grima, you don't mean the people who live here!" Lucina cried, pointing to Number 1794. "The uncle's a pompous idiot and the aunt's a nosy rat! And don't even get me started on their son-he's a monster! Ness Greil to live here!" Lucina screeched.

"It's for the best." Mario sighed. "I suppose you are right. But who's bringing him?" asked Lucina.

"Ganondorf."

"GANONDORF?" Lucina howled.

"Ganondorf's a good man, Lucina. He just tends to run a little-"

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!

A gigantic tank fell out of the sky and crashed. The tank was humongous, a battle ready machine that was white with blue markings. Then the tank door opened, and the driver stepped out.

The driver was as tall as the tank was big. The man had dark skin, with shockingly red hair. He was muscular, with hands as big as cattle. In his arms he held a small figure tightly swaddled in blankets.

"Ah, Ganondorf! We were just talking about you! But where in the name of Mushroomy Kingdom did you get that Landmaster?" Mario's greeting was turning into questioning.

"It's a loaner, Mario sir." Ganondorf spoke with a slight Southern drawl. "Wolf O' Donnell let me borrow it for some speedier transportation. I got Ness, sir."

"Any problems?"

"Nope, Mario sir, though the Contras were starting to crowd around as we left. Ness fell asleep as we were soaring over Detroit."

Ganondorf lowered his arms, and Mario and Lucina peered inside the blanket. Inside was a baby boy with bluish-black hair, fast asleep. On the boy's forehead was a curious scar shaped like the planet Earth.

"Oh, gods, was that where…?" Lucina gently ran her finger over the scar. "Yes. That scar will stay with him for the rest of his life." Mario murmured. Lucina looked at him pleadingly. "I can't remove it. Scars have their uses though; I happen to have one on my left thigh that is an exact map of New York City. Well, Ganondorf, it's time."

"Can…. I just kiss him goodbye…?" Ganondorf kissed the boy before handing him off to Mario. He then let out a horrid scream of despair. "Shh… Calm down, Ganondorf." Mario spoke calmingly.

"I know, but… Ike and Samus… dead… and Ness… off to live with Contras…" Ganondorf then broke down. Lucina sighed, rolled her eyes, and motioned to Mario, who then walked over to the front door and placed Ness gently on the front step. He then took out a envelope and slid it in between the folds of the blanket. Lucina and Ganondorf joined him; Ganondorf's shoulders were heaving, and tears were running down Lucina's cheeks.

"Well… I guess our business is done. Let us join the parties." Mario whispered. Lucina nodded. "I agree. My mind is a mess." Lucina said. "I'll join ya… Wolf will have my head if I don't return the Landmaster to him soon, anyways." Ganondorf added.

Lucina and Ganondorf left, but Mario stood for a few moments longer, looking at the bundle. "Good luck, Ness…" he murmured before stepping into the night.

Ness just simply slept on without a care in the world. He slept on without knowing that he was special, without knowing he was famous, without knowing he would be awoken in two hours' time by his aunt's screech as she put out the mail, without knowing that his next few weeks would be spent being pushed and kicked around by his cousin Porky. He certainly didn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret were holding toasts while whispering "To Ness Greil, the Smasher who lived!"

Well, that was beautiful. And YES, James Bond does have games, and Joanna is Joanna Dark from Perfect Dark. Samus Greil is Samus Aran. And YES, I know that Ganondorf is OOC, forgive me. With that, see ya later!