Special thanks to EA for the Mass Effect Trilogy and Wildbow for the epic tale that is Worm. Materia Blade, MarkerIV, and TheBSDude for looking through this fic.
Standard Disclaimer. I don't own Worm, or Mass Effect. Just playing with their epic stories.
Divergence; Annette 1
"You're…?"
I took a stab at answering the question. "Taylor. Eighteen."
"I would have been in college…"
"You were. Well, she was. Mom met a magnificent, dorky guy with a warm heart and an awful lot of passion. He worshiped her, and she… I think he gave her permission to do what she really wanted to do in life, at a time when her parents were being controlling. Her mother never really forgave my dad for luring you off the track she'd set for her, getting you pregnant with me so early in life."
Annette smiled. "What did she end up doing?"
"Teaching. She was a professor at a University, teaching English."
Annette's eyes moved to her book on the table, but when she responded, it was in negation. "I can't really see that, I'm afraid."
I nodded. I remembered what mom said she was studying when she met dad. As Annette took a moment to gather her thoughts I looked around the cafe. It was nice, but kind of what you would expect for a place that catered to the white collars in the offices around us. Not really my thing but I could see what Annette liked about it.
The table we were sitting at was outside, which was nice as the day was pretty. Not too cold at the moment though it was very chilly this morning when I got off the express. The other dinners around us were dressed in their working finery which meant respectable dresses and suits. Not quite upscale as I thought of it, but definitely working on it. A far cry from the kinds of people I normally associated with.
I was brought out of my wanderings when Annette asked her next question. "Your father?"
"He's dead too." I answered bluntly which seemed to shock Annette a bit. "At least, I think he's dead. Probably best if he thinks I'm dead even if he's not. I… didn't have the courage to check, at the end. Before…, we weren't exactly on speaking terms and no one who knew me offered information one way or the other. It was… It was a really hectic time, there at the end..."
Annette nodded sadly though I could see she was somewhat confused by my answer. "I'm so sorry. It can't be easy… I, don't know what to say. Saying you have my condolences seems really under par for what you've lost…"
"It's alright. Thanks for your concern."
The silence between us came again which allowed me to study her. Something I hadn't directly done since I sat down at her table. She looked so much like mom, which shouldn't have surprised me any since she was biologically identical to my mother. Same long brown hair so similar to my own. Soft cobalt blue eyes that shown with a deep intelligence. Both were thin but not disturbingly so but I didn't think any differences would have been in that regard.
Still, regardless that I was expecting the similarity's it was sort of shocking. Though as I continued to study her I noticed she didn't have moms scar to the side of her left eye. It was probably the first physical difference I noticed between them. For the life of me I couldn't remember if mom ever told me where she got it from. I wanted to say it was from when she ran with Lustrum, but couldn't say why I thought that. Maybe dad mentioned it once…
"I… I admit I'm finding myself more and more at a loss for words, as my curiosity is sated. I feel like I should say something meaningful, so you didn't spend all this time trying to find some woman without anything to say. It would be easier if I knew what you wanted. It makes it hard to tailor my response."
"I'm not expecting anything profound or special," I assured her. "I thought I'd visit, refresh myself on what she looked like before I move on. I… I'm sort of in the same boat as you. There's a lot I want to say and explain, when it comes to me, I want to raise ideas that have been crossing my mind lately, but I'd have to tell a really long story before I could even begin, and I'm not sure I'm brave enough to tell that story."
"Do you want to try?"
"Telling the story?"
I blew out my breath as I thought about it. Did I really want to? At heart, this was sort of what I wanted to do. Why I tracked her down. Still. "A lot happened…"
"I'm a good listener. You seem like you could use someone to hear your story."
"It's not a 'nice' story."
"I'll try and keep that in mind."
I nodded. "If you're sure… Well, I guess it really started when my mom died. Car accident, just one of those random things you know? I had a hell of a time with high school. By most people's standards I fell in with a bad crowd, though I love the friends I made at that time. My first real friends, truth be told and I surprisingly can't imagine better. But it came at a cost and my dad and I parted ways…"
"I'm not sure I understand. Does this have something to do with," Annette waggled her fingers. "Powers?"
I smiled thinking back to those days. Back when things weren't so complicated. When all I had to worry about was staying alive. "In a lot of ways, yeah, it does. Especially with my dad."
"I guess I might have to hear the whole story before I could contribute," Annette said. "But a lot of people go through hard experiences and I'm pretty sure they feel something like you're feeling."
"Ever since y- since my mom died, it's been this constant, unending struggle to find some kind of peace. Peace with her death, school, and all the shit that happened later. The harder I tried, the further it went out of my reach. Then I meet Sebastian. Not that didn't come with its own struggle's but after… well, now- now I'm here and it's right there, waiting for me to take it and I'm suddenly wondering if… If I do what I am setting myself to do, will it last? Will the cost be too great... I, I don't know…"
"Sounds like you can't bring yourself to come to terms with whatever decisions you made, or maybe it is the decisions you have to make going forward?"
"It's been... Fuck, you're just a stranger, and I'm burdening you with this shit you don't understand. I don't- I-"
I stopped, choking on the lump in my throat.
Annette stood from her chair. "Come on."
I shook my head. People were looking. I stared down at the table, and the upside-down book cover. "Y- you should go. I- I picked this spot because I knew you'd be leaving to go back to work, didn't wanna keep you too long."
Annette reached down, taking hold of my wrists, where I'd jammed my hands in my pockets. She stopped short as one hand came free and clunked against the side of the chair, limp and dangling. I avoided looking upward so I wouldn't have to see the surprise on her face.
"Hav- haven't gotten used to it. Had a better one," Taylor mumbled. "Before...shit happened. Embarrassed self on train when I forgot not to use it."
Still avoiding looking at Annette, self-conscious, I used my left hand to try and jam the artificial arm into my jacket pocket, failed, and then partially stood, to get a better angle.
Annette took advantage of the movement to fold me into a hug. I stiffened. Flight or fight instincts honed through the crucible that was my past kicked in. Options for escape, both the arms around me and the threat of someone being so close, rampaged in my mind. Panic at being touched warred with how nice it felt. Familiar in the way half-forgotten memories were.
"I think," Annette said, "You have plenty of time to find that peace you were talking about."
Not nearly as much time as you think…
I didn't move, with my face mashed into Annette's shoulder. It felt so good and it's been so long since I received one of my mom's hugs. I couldn't help myself. For just a moment I let myself pretend.
I was eight, and all was well, even the evils and disasters of the world were fringe things. Endbringers in other countries, bad guys who I never had to pay attention to. Home, peace, safety. It's been so long since I felt that anywhere but with Sebastian I'd almost forgotten…
"I don't know what happened," Annette murmured. "I'm almost afraid to ask. But I don't think you can let one decision you made in a time of stress cause you so much grief."
"Thousand decisions," Taylor mumbled into her shoulder.
"What?"
"It's not just the one decision. It's all of them, pressing down on me." I swallowed thickly as I tried to choke out my next few words. " I'm- I was a monster, Annette."
"Looking at you right now, I find that hard to believe."
It wasn't the right answer. It didn't make me feel better. Just the opposite. "You have no idea..."
Annette pulled back holding my arms as she looked me in the eye. "That's why you looked me up, isn't it? Were you, I don't know, looking for a second opinion?"
I felt a tear at my trek down my face. "Kinda… I know you're not her, but... I, when I was home, I would talk to her grave. It made me feel better but there was always something off about it. I couldn't get feedback from her, she couldn't ask questions. It's a lot to ask, and if you're not comfortable with this, I'm gone. You don't have to worry about me. I'll never bother you again."
I didn't say I wouldn't be able too. She didn't need to know about that.
Annette helped me to sit before retaking her chair looking me in the eye the entire time. "I'm worried you might take my reactions to be the same as what your mother would give. I could do more harm than good, even just listening."
Somehow, I doubted she could do anymore damage to me than I had already done. "I think, that is what I need the most. An honest opinion from someone unbiased. From someone who wasn't there to help give me the perspective I need…"
Annette was quiet for several moments before she nodded. "Are you looking for absolution? It sounds so stupid to say it like that but, it almost sounds like you're looking for approval or something."
I winced. "Not absolution. I don't expect approval for the things I've done. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get it, no matter who I talked to. Well, except from Sebastian… but that's a special case. I guess, I'm just looking for a fresh set of eyes on what happened. It won't change anything, but maybe, maybe I'll understand it better I guess?"
"Okay. Why don't we try the beginning? What do you think was the catalyst for when things started?"
I snorted wiping my eyes and pulling myself together. A question I could actually answer. "I bet you're probably thinking it was when I trig… when I manifested powers." I smiled sadly at the surprised look on her face. "It was actually about three months later."
"I assumed, but it's still shocking to know you have them. For you, it had been going on for what, thirty years? More? It's only been a few here. It's all still pretty new."
Don't I know the truth about that…
Part of me hoped the glow; the shine of the idea would last forever. Like it was with me just before everything went south. But I knew it wouldn't. It was already starting, even if these people didn't know it. One look at their news feeds showed all the proof anyone needed.
"Yeah. So, about three months after I got powers…"
***Authors Note:
Pre Story Notes:
-Crossover, Worm with Mass Effect 1-3. All set in Wormverse.
-My first Worm fic
- Setting the story so parts are fairly recognizable. This segment is the only one where this happens. The first Story Arc is called Divergence for a reason.
-Yes, there will be segments that take place in the 'Present' while most of the story takes place in the past.
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Character Notes:
Taylor-No graphic changes from cannon, though she's coming out less self sure in the beginning than she did in Worm. This changes as the story, and her character evolves. The story, aside from interludes, is from Taylor's perspective. Not a style I'm used to writing, so feel free to let me know if I slip.
Shepard-Renegade style Shepard. Biotic/Engineer. People may notice some serious character issues with Shep, this is intentional and will be explained as the story, and his character evolves. Story is pretty centric around both characters.