turntechGodhead [TG] opened memo on board rainbow rumpus spookytown.
TG: so my hella rad time powers are informing me that the date back on earth would be october 31st if the world hadnt gotten fucked up the ass by meteors
TG: so trolls
TG: rose and i are gonna explain you a thing
tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to memo.
TT: I don't recall agreeing to this, but I'll humor you.
TG: why wouldnt you agree to this i thought you were ALL ABOUT creepy bullshit
TG: and talking peoples ears off
TG: like those two things are basically your biggest talents
TT: Nice flattery.
TT: My quote-unquote "hella rad" Light powers have led me to the conclusion that you intend to teach the trolls about All Hallow's Eve, better known as Halloween?
TT: Are you sure that's a good idea?
TT: Also, by "Light powers" I mean "knowledge of what date Halloween falls on".
TG: yeah i figured that was more snarky horseshit
TG: and are you kidding its a fucking awesome idea
TG: i just wish aradia was here shed be fucking pissing herself over this shit
TG: just huge amounts of troll urine flooding the meteor
TT: I'm going to stop you right there, before you begin writing a watersports fanfic about one of our acquaintances.
TT: Ironic or otherwise, that would just be weird.
TT: And not because of the fetish, either.
TG: oh come on like you havent done the same
TT: Hm, I see my secret is out. Very well.
TT: It seems you found my secret journals, then. Tell me, do you think I portrayed Karkat's impotent rage accurately?
TG: idk i was more focused on the fact that you wrote about him banging me
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo.
CG: WAIT WHAT.
TT: If you'd like, Karkat, I could send you a copy.
CG: THAT IS LITERALLY THE LAST THING I WOULD EVER WANT TO SEE IN MY ENTIRE MISERABLE LIFE.
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo.
GC: C4N 1 H4V3 4 COPY?
TG: no
CG: NO.
TT: Yes.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo.
GA: Rose While Your Story Sounds Very Intriguing I Must Confess To Finding This Halloween Thing More Interesting
CG: OKAY YES, LET'S PLEASE ALL LISTEN TO KANAYA.
CG: TALK ABOUT YOUR RIDICULOUS EARTH HOLIDAY.
CG: ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS.
GC: W3 C4N 4LW4YS T4LK 4BOUT ROS3S F4NF1C L4T3R ;]
CG: NO WE CAN'T.
TT: Technically, we can, in the sense that it's possible to do so.
TT: "Can't" and "shouldn't" aren't always the same.
TG: what are you
TG: rose the language queen
TT: Yes.
TG: okay so enough bullshit about roses fanfiction
TG: lets get down to business
TG: to talk about halloween
terminallyCapricious [TC] responded to memo.
TC: what the motherfuck are you bitches all up and talking about?
TG: oh wow the shitty clown is back
TG: thought you died somehow
TG: since youre like never around ever
TG: and since i guess kanaya wanted you dead or something?
GA: Can We Not Talk About That
TC: WHY YOU GOTTA SAY THAT, SIS?
TC: i'd like to hear more.
GC: Y34H WH4T3V3R 4SSHOL3
GC banned TC from responding to memo.
CG: UM.
CG: WOW.
CG: TEREZI, WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
GC: TH4TS NOT 1MPORT4NT! :[
GC: 1 JUST W4NT TO L34RN TH3 S3CR3TS OF TH1S HOL1D4Y W1THOUT D34LING W1TH G4MZ33S L4M3 CLOWN BULLSH1T
TG: i accept this explanation without question okay lets just begin already
TT: Yes, let's. Shall we begin with a bit of history?
TG: no
TG: no we shant
TT: Too late. I already have the Wikipedia article open.
TT: Where doing this, man.
TT: Where making this hapen.
TG: goddammit lalonde
TG: you and your ability to make me agree to your conksuck plans
TG: by quoting my comic and thus inflating my already massive ego
TG: not that i shouldnt have a massive ego cause im fuckin great
TG: but still
TG: damn
TT: Anyway.
TT: Halloween is believed to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, which is pronounced "SOW-in".
CG: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET "SOW-IN" OUT OF "SAMHAIN".
CG: THAT'S FUCKING STUPID.
TT: Believe it or not, Karkat, there are thousands of languages spoken by humans.
TT: Or were, I suppose.
TT: In this case, Samhain was a term used in Irish Gaelic, where it was originally used to refer to the month of November.
TT: Technically, October 31st-the date we recognize as Halloween-was referred to as Oíche Shamhna (pronounced EE-hyeh HOW-nuh), the eve of Samhain.
TG: god DAMN rose
TG: why do you even know all this weird history shit
TT: Knowing things is fun.
TT: You should try it sometime.
TG: that burns lalonde
TG: that burns
TG: also i thought you didnt want to do this?
TT: I've come to accept it.
TT: And any opportunity to show off the pointless shit I know is an opportunity I will seize.
TT: Granted, said shit was less pointless when Earth still existed. But I digress.
TG: yeah lets digress away from this boring historical crap
GA: I Thought It Was Rather Interesting Actually
CG: YEAH, IT ALMOST MAKES ME HAVE SOME SORT OF BEGRUDGING RESPECT FOR YOUR RACE.
CG: I MEAN, KNOWING THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAD CULTURE.
CG: AND THAT YOU WEREN'T JUST A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES WHO SAT AT THEIR COMPUTERS ALL DAY WHILE FONDLING THEIR GENITALS.
GC: OH MY GOD K4RK4T
GC: TH4TS B4S1C4LLY 4LL YOU 3V3R D1D B4CK ON 4LT3RN1A
GC: STOP B31NG SO HYPOCR1T1CAL :/
CG: NO, THAT'S BASICALLY ALL THAT *SOLLUX* DID.
CG: I WAS A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF TROLL SOCIETY.
GC: 4H4H4H4
GC: 1 FORGOT HOW H1L4R1OUS YOU COULD B3 :]
CG: STFU.
GA: Could You Two Stop Arguing For A Bit
GA: Im Rather Interested In What Rose And Dave Have To Say
GA: This Whole Halloween Thing Is
GA: Intriguing
TG: yeah halloween is great
TG: okay so since rose wont shut up about history and language and shit im gonna take over for a bit
TG: basically halloween is when you dress up and ask strangers for candy and miraculously dont get kidnapped
TG: you know all that shit about not taking candy from strangers
TG: yeah halloween is all fuck that shit
TG: take all the goddamn candy you want aint no one gonna bitch about it
TG: okay except maybe pat robertson or whoever but hes dumb so we dont talk about him
GA: Who
TG: explaining who pat robertson is would take forever okay
TG: so i will just put it really succinctly
TG: hes dumb
TT: Dave.
TT: We did not come here to discuss politics.
TT: It's Halloween, motherfuckers.
TG: wow rose youre really pumped about this suddenly
TG: from this is a bad idea to lets do this shit in like ten minutes flat
TG: im impressed and confused
CG: OH MY GOD. CAN WE GET THIS FUCKING CULTURAL EXCHANGE TO ACTUALLY *START* ALREADY?
TG: sure why not
TG: okay so on halloween you dress up all spooky
TG: or all sexy if youre a beautiful wonan
TG: seriously they have sexy costumes for everything and its beautiful
TG: sexy nurse sexy prisoner sexy mouse sexy corn cob
TG: those are all real costumes fyi
TG: shit gives me the weirdest boner like im gonna fuck that ear of corn
TG: but dave why are you going to fuck the corn
TG: because the corn has great tits duh
GC: D4V3 PL34S3
GC: DONT FUCK TH3 CORN :[
TG: chill tz im not actually gonna fuck the corn
TG: i mean i might fuck you if you dressed as an ear of corn?
TG: even though you dont really have tits so my comment about the corns great tits is inaccurate
CG: DAVE STRIDER, YOU STOP MOCKING TEREZI'S SHAMEFUL LACK OF RUMBLE SPHERES THIS GODDAMN INSTANT OR SO HELP ME I WILL CHOP YOUR BULGE OFF AND USE IT AS A PUPPET.
TG: oh god
TG: why did it have to be puppets
GA: I Am Extremely Confused
GA: How Did This Turn Into A Conversation About Engaging In Questionably Appropriate Acts With Corn
GA: And Terezi Your Rumble Spheres Are Fine I Assure You
GC: OH K4N4Y4, YOU 4R3 TOO K1ND!
GA: You Could Probably Use A Better Bra Though
GA: I Could Organize A Fitting If You So Wished
GA: Rose You Can Come Too It Can Be A Girls Night In
TT: As much as I'd like that, wouldn't it be a bit...awkward?
TT: Having me watch my girlfriend fitting a mutual friend for a better brassiere, I mean.
GA: Oh
GA: I Suppose That Is A Valid Point Yes
TT: Anyway, breasts aside, Dave is correct. Costumes are an important part of Halloween.
TT: Maybe the most important part in recent times, inasmuch as October of 2008 could qualify as "recent".
TG: oh wow yeah
TG: that was pretty great i dressed up as princess belle and performed a rap about how fucking awesome books are
TG: its on youtube i think
TT: It is. You showed me back when it happened.
GA: What Were You Rose
TT: I was Princess Berryboo, from the old Squiddles show.
TG: wait seriously
TG: i thought you were some eldritch abomination from beyond the stars
TT: I did take a few liberties with the design.
TG: you know come to think of it does anyone who has ever existed even know what the word eldritch means
TG: id think you made it up but ive seen other pretentious bookworms using it so idk
TT: "Eldritch" means, roughly, "unearthly and weird".
TG: does that mean were hanging out with a bunch of eldritch abominations then
TT: I suppose one could argue that, yes.
TG: haha thats actually kind of awesome
TT: Anyway, I do believe our audience is growing bored of our reminiscing.
CG: FINALLY, YOU NOTICED!
TT: I guess part of the issue is that neither of us actually prepared notes or anything.
TT: I've honestly no clue what to mention next.
TG: okay cool ill tell them instead
TG: halloween is also about scaring the shit out of people
TG: with like
TG: skulls and ghosts and shit
TG: its all very spooky you see
TG: probably to symbolize how the barrier between the living and the dead is fucking shit on halloween for some reason
TT: …
TT: I'm actually kind of impressed with the fact that you're basically right about that.
TT: Kudos.
TG: thanks
TG: also we do shit like playing games and watching scary movies and carving faces into pumpkins
TG: and trick or treating
TG: which as i said is when you beg for candy and people are required to give it to you
TG: if they dont youre allowed to egg their house thats the rule
TT: That's not a Halloween tradition.
TG: it was in my household
TG: one time we used hard-boiled eggs and broke a window
TT: Somehow none of this surprises me.
CG: ALRIGHT, ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT HUMAN CUSTOMS IS GENUINELY FASCINATING, I WILL BEGRUDGINGLY ADMIT THIS.
CG: AND...I HAVE A FEW HORROR MOVIES IN MY COLLECTION.
CG: MAYBE WE COULD WATCH THOSE.
GC: K4RK4T…
GC: YOU 4CTU4LLY H4V3 4 GOOD 1D34 FOR ONC3 :0
GC: 1 S3COND TH1S MOT1ON!
GC: 1 3V3N H4V3 4 COSTUM3 1 C4N US3
TT: That would be fun.
TT: Kanaya, surely you have a few films about rainbow drinkers, correct?
TT: Those would be perfect for Halloween.
GA: My Cache Of Rainbow Drinker Films Is Quite Impressively Large Yes
GA: I Rather Like The One You Said Was And I Quote A Troll Version Of Human Twilight
GA: Okay Maybe You Didnt Say Human Twilight But Still
GA: I Am Not Sure It Would Be Sufficiently Scary Though
TG: trust me it will
TT: So it's settled.
TT: We'll have a little Halloween party.
TT: Maybe we can talk more about the holiday there.
TG: i dunno i think weve covered everything
TT: Really, we've only scratched the surface.
TG: oh hey
TG: know what would be really horrifying
TT: What?
TG: you could bring one of your journals
TG: storytime with rose lalonde
CG: NO.
CG: WE ARE NOT DOING THAT.
TT: On the contrary, I rather like Dave's idea.
TT: Even though it was pretty transparently a dig at me and not an actual suggestion.
TG: are you kidding this is gonna be great
TT: I'll bring the one about you and Karkat, I think.
TG: never mind im backing out of this
TT: Too late.
TT: Okay, everyone, meet me in the main lab in an hour.
TT: It's gonna be one hell of a party.
TG: yeah
TG: hell is right
TG: i guess this memo is more or less useless now though so im outie
TG: seeya on the flip side nerds
TG closed memo.