Wow look at me! Two weeks! I'm on a roll. lol. Nah. So I'm trying to wrap this fic up as best as I can. We're getting close! I'm not sure how soon or if I'll continue with the 2 sequels I have planned. It seems like the fandom's kind of dying and it's hard for me to write without motivation lately. But I am writing a Francis centric fic if you'd like to read it. Closer. It's going to focus on him working through his issues if anyone is interested? Sorry!

here you are my lovlies

Lovino blinked his eyes open, pain flooded his senses. Dull throbbing and stinging radiated from his arms. His chest was full and aching. His throat was scratchy and sore. Tears filled his eyes. Antonio was sitting next to his bed, holding his hand. No. Lovino felt his heart sink. No, no, no. That was all he couldn't think. He couldn't move. He closed his eyes not wanting to let Antonio know he was awake. This wasn't fair. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He was supposed to be with his mother. He wasn't supposed to be here. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He couldn't do it right. Of course he couldn't. His body started to shake with sobs.

"Lovi!" Antonio threw himself on him with a hug. "It's okay. It's okay. You're okay. Dios mio. Lo siento."

Lovino couldn't think of anything but the fact that he was here, in a hospital bed. Alive. On Earth. Maybe this was hell? Maybe this is what it meant to die. Waking up in the place you really don't want to be. Hate. Pain. Fear. Everything was overwhelming. He had known what he was doing. He deserved to be dead. Nobody cared for him. Nobody. Nobody, except Luca. But Luca didn't know better. He was a baby. All he knew how to do was love. But in time, in time he'd see that his papa was nothing. Nothing. He didn't think it was possible to feel more hopeless, but he had been wrong.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Do you need something?" Antonio's questions echoed in his ears. "I am so sorry. I love you. You scared me so much. I thought…"

"Luca…" Lovino didn't care about anything else. Even still, Luca was what cut through it all.

"He's okay. Francis is watching him."

"I want him. I want Luca." Lovino stared at Antonio through his tears. If he could just have Luca…but he had tried to hurt him.

"I'll have Francis bring him." Antonio promised, brushing away tears. "Are you okay?"

"Leave me alone," Lovino whispered, pushing Antonio away, and turning away from him, curling into himself. He squeezed the blanket and sobbed.

"Lovi…"

"Please." Lovino begged.

"I'm going to get the nurse."

"No." Lovino sat up. "Please, no."

"They've been waiting for you. You've been out for an entire day. Even when they extubated you, you barely woke up." Antonio started.

Lovino stared at him. His eyes were red, swollen. He'd been crying. He hadn't slept. His body looked so stiff. He must have been sitting here, keeping watch. The look in his eyes were familiar. Lovino hadn't seen it in months. Soft, glistening. It was the way he used to look at him. Before everything. Something about it made Lovino nauseous. He didn't want to deal with this. Antonio hadn't even changed out of his chef uniform. Or maybe he'd just gone to work. Run away like he always did.

"I don't fucking care," Lovino whispered, curling back up. He wanted relief. He lifted his eyes to Antonio. "Do…do you have the pump?" he whispered. Pumping, emptying himself of the milk begging to be released was the only way he could get some relief from the pain. If he was going to survive, he might as well take care of his baby.

"No…sorry. I can have Francis bring it." Antonio was already on his phone. "I'm actually so glad you can think of Luca right now. I was so worried. See I knew I should have insisted more on telling your doctor and bringing you in."

"You don't get it." Lovino narrowed his eyes.

"What?"

"I can't forget Luca. How can I? He's my baby. I grew him. I felt him. I love him. He's always on my mind. I can never forget him. He's part of me. How can you?" Lovino brushed tears from his face. Antonio flinched slightly at the last sentence. "Did you really forget him?"

"No." Antonio's eyes shifted slightly.

"Shit…" Lovino covered his face. What had he been thinking leaving Luca with this man?

"He's okay," Antonio sat down next to him on the bed. He tried to take his hand. Lovino pulled away instinctively. "Lovi…"

"I want to be left alone…" Lovino felt new hot tears pouring from his eyes.

A soft knock at the door and a man dressed in slacks, a button down with a tie walk in. He gave an apologetic smile as he closed the door. Lovino stared at him. His stomach was turning. He knew him. Dr. Patel. The doctor whom he'd worked for and shadowed the past two years…before he transferred anyway.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Vargas." His voice was quiet, formal. Lovino knew he was trying to put their previous relationship aside. "How are you feeling?"

Lovino shrugged, averting his eyes. He wanted to be alone. He needed to be. He couldn't deal with Antonio or Dr. Patel. If he could just be alone…

"Mr. Vargas, I've been assigned to your case. May I make a quick look?"

Lovino hesitantly nodded. Dr. Patel shouldn't be on the case. Lovino knew that much. It wasn't ethical. They were too acquainted. He knew more about Lovino than he should. Dr. Patel would know he'd lied about the reason he'd moved jobs. He knew he had a baby. He knew about his anxiety and depression. He knew he was fucked. He was probably thinking how wrong it was that he had ever considered giving him a recommendation for medical school.

"Did you already take your MCAT?" the man asked as he listened to Lovino's heart.

"Um…yes, sir…" Lovino whispered.

"Blow it out of the water?"

"Yes, sir."

"So what school did you pick?" Dr. Patel asked as he pulled on gloves.

"I…um…didn't." Lovino admitted, wincing from both the question and the pain coming from his arm as the physician unwrapped the bandages.

"What's that now?" Dr. Patel's eyebrows furrowed.

"I…I had a baby," Lovino started shaking.

"Yes, I did see that in the charts. You seemed so set on medical school."

"I was," Lovino whispered.

"And now?"

"I…I…I'd like to, but I have a baby."

"Did you know a quarter of my class had children and still did well in medical school? If you want to do it, you can. Having a baby doesn't mean you can't do what you want to do."

Lovino was trembling, new tears again falling down his cheeks. Why was he asking him these questions? Why was he trying to get him to focus on something irrelevant? Lovino knew the tricks. Dr. Patel had taught that to him. If you sense the person is anxious, talk to them. Distract them. Calm them with things they like.

"Tell me about your baby. Boy or girl?"

"Boy. Luca Antonio Fernandez-Vargas." Lovino felt his anxiety drop at the name.

"How old is he?"

"Uh…eight weeks."

"Still so new."

"Yes, sir."

"Does he sleep much?"

"No," Lovino shook his head. "He never sleeps."

"Do you sleep?" Dr. Patel sat back, his dark eyes staring into him.

"Not much…" Lovino pulled his knees to his chest.

"Do you have any support people in your life that can help you with that? It's very important that you sleep." Dr. Patel frowned.

Lovino's eyes flicked to Antonio. He was just standing there with a strange expression on his face. He looked hungry. He looked nervous. Lovino realized he was worried that Lovino would tell. For a moment Lovino wanted to. He wanted to talk about how alone he felt. How much he missed his dad. How much he begged Antonio to help, but he never did.

"My boyfriend." Lovino lied, his eyes snapping back to Dr. Patel.

"Lovino," Dr. Patel said firmly, taking his hand, "Did you intend to harm yourself?

Lovino's heart stopped. He couldn't breathe. His head started spinning. Suddenly he was painfully aware of both men staring at him. He could feel their eyes hot on his skin. The blankets were rough on his skin and he swore he could feel the stitches in his arms. He stared down at the blanket, studying the pattern of the stitching. Small swirls. The fabric was stitched in wide stitches, almost like knitting but with cotton rather than yarn. Tears were hot in his eyes, holding, holding, racing down his cheeks.

"Lovino, it's okay to tell me." The doctor's voice was soft, soothing. No hint of judgement in his voice, but Lovino could swear it was there.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Lovino nodded his head. "Yes." He heard Antonio gasp.

"Do you want to tell me why?"

The man shifted. He didn't want to say it out loud. He knew it already. He was a horrible person. He shouldn't have a child. He shouldn't even be alive. He didn't deserve it. He had tried to hurt Luca. Was it even Luca? His mind was so jumbled. He knew enough to know he wasn't going to get away with not saying it.

"I don't deserve to live," he whispered. He lifted his eyes carefully. "I miss my mom. I want her."

"Why do you think you don't deserve to live?" Dr. Patel asked gently.

"I…He doesn't stop crying!" Lovino felt the flood gates open. "He cries and cries and cries. I can't make him happy. I'm his mother and I can't make him happy! I don't even want to be a mother, but I've decided that's the only word that makes sense. And I'm exhausted. So exhausted! I can't sleep. I haven't slept since before he was born. It was so uncomfortable and it hurt when he kicked and he kicked a lot. And I'm so tired, it hurts. And he won't help me." Lovino flicked his eyes toward Antonio who flinched. "I ask. I beg. Nothing. And he took him. He took Luca. I think. I know. And…and…and," Lovino's body wracked with sobs. "I thought…I thought maybe, maybe if we took a nice, hot bath, we could sleep. We could sleep forever. Luca and I. But I didn't. I didn't hurt him. I thought about it. I almost…but… Who does that? Luca…my baby, Luca…I love him more than anything else in the world. My Luca doesn't cry like that. He…He had to have taken him." Tears were streaming down Lovino's face.

"You think your boyfriend took the baby?" Dr. Patel was patient. Lovino nodded. "And why would he do that?"

"To…to punish me."

"Why would he want to punish you?"

"I don't know…" Lovino hugged himself. "I don't want to be alive. I don't want anyone to help me next time. Please…just let me go."

"Lovi," Antonio kneeled next to him. "Don't talk like that. I love you. I love Luca."

"If you love me, if you really love me you'd let me die. You'd let me stop hurting."

Lovino couldn't take in anymore. He felt the panic attack taking over. Dr. Patel called for the nurse. She rushed in and gave him something. Then everything went black.

Lovino played with Luca's tiny hands as the child nursed. He wanted to moan at how good it felt to be emptied. He had been so engorged. But Luca was here. He was happy and he was nursing. Nobody else existed. Just him and Luca. His baby Luca. He was sure this was the right Luca. He had smiled so much when he too him from Francis. Cooed gently. He finally had him again, after all this time. He had his Luca. Something like relief washed over him. He kissed Luca's hand. He closed his eyes and breathed him in. The perfect smell of Luca. It was so distinct. The scent in his nose made his heart swell. Luca smelled so, so good. It wasn't superficial scents like baby wash or powder. No. It was Luca's real scent. The pheromones that connected mother and baby. He closed his eyes and just smelled him. It was calming. He had his baby.

Luca unlatched from the breast. Lovino picked him up and burped his softly. He giggled softly as Luca tried to latch to his neck. He softly murmured to the infant, letting him know there wasn't food there. Luca pulled his head up to stare into Lovino's face. His heart burst. God, he loved this tiny creature.

"Hi," he cooed, kissing him gingerly.

Luca smiled at him in return and let out a squeal. God, how could he ever leave him? How could hurt him? How could even think to hurt him. This baby didn't even care! Lovino took a deep breath through the pain piling inside him. He switched Luca to the opposite breast ready to finally be fully emptied. Luca eagerly continued eating. Lovino wanted to hold him forever.

Postpartum psychosis.

The diagnosis echoed in his head. Postpartum depression that was made even worse. Delusions. Hallucinations. Lovino didn't understand. He wasn't deluded or hallucinating. He knew what happened. Honestly he didn't care if anyone believed him. What mattered was he has his real Luca back. He was so grateful to Francis. He'd found him! He'd brought his baby back.

He glanced up, instantly regretting it. Antonio and Francis were in off to the side by the door talking in hushed voices. Lovino could swear he heard them speaking Spanish. He didn't know why they would be. He wasn't even sure Francis knew the language. They kept glancing at him. Antonio was crying. Why? What reason did he have to be upset? Lovino sent a glare his direction. Fuck him. Fuck Antonio. If it wasn't for him, he'd be with his mom. If it wasn't for him, maybe he'd never had this pain to begin with.

123

Antonio let out a sigh as he watched Lovino with Luca. He was smiling, talking to the infant. He looked okay. He didn't look like he'd just had a nearly successful suicide attempt. He didn't look like a person who was wanting to do it again. Antonio didn't like that there was an aid in the room flipping through his book. Lovino wasn't allowed to be alone. He'd lost his right to privacy apparently. It killed Antonio.

"I'm sure everything will be okay. They're going to take care of him," Francis rubbed his arm.

"He has to be in the hospital a while. A long while." Antonio shook his head. "He wants to be with Luca. That's all he's ever wanted."

"But that's also the source of the pain," Francis reminded him gently. "He needs to heal or it's going to be no good to anyone."

"What if I'm not good at it? What if I'm a shitty father, Francis? All this time I've been thinking it's just Lovino not letting try. But what if I'm a failure?" Antonio tapped his side. "Will you come smoke with me? I'm too anxious."

"Okay," Francis frowned. He glanced at Lovino. "But should we leave him with Luca?"

"Look at him. He's so happy. I think we're okay."

Francis frowned, hesitant. "Maybe I could stay?"

"I need you. I need my best friend, okay?" Antonio felt new tears forming in his eyes.

Francis knit his eyes browns and nodded, pulling Antonio behind him out of the room. Lovino didn't even look up. Nurses glanced at them as they walked down the hall. Antonio knew what they were thinking. They probably agreed with Francis' first intuition. But they didn't understand that he could only be strong for Lovino if he had a moment. And he was damned if he was going to take Luca away from Lovino. That child was the only source of light in this situation.

He replayed the scene in his head. Lovino on his side curled up, his back to him in the bed crying. He wouldn't speak. He would slap Antonio's hands away. Antonio never wanted to see Lovino get Ativan like that again. He didn't know what to do. Just hopelessly watch Lovino suffer. He even started to feel guilty for calling the ambulance, for asking them to save him. It had been selfish. He felt that now. Lovino was so broken. But Francis had come in. He hadn't said a word to Antonio. He hadn't even realized it was Francis and not a nurse. He didn't turn his attention away from his phone. Lovino had sat up, calling for Luca.

Francis had walked past Antonio with the child who was reaching for Lovino. It was the first time Lovino had smiled in so long. A real smile. Tears fell from his eyes. Luca cooed and squealed. Lovino had kissed him and cuddled him. Antonio was so blown away. There was a bond there that he could only dream of sharing. He knew it was special. He knew he could never have that with anyone. Lovino had known he was there before he even saw him. Lovino actually looked whole again holding the baby. Antonio had never seen Lovino put Luca to breast so easily in the child's life.

Francis stopped once they were on the sidewalk opposite the hospital. Antonio sat down on the bench and pulled out his pack and lighter. Francis watched him silently. He waited for him to do the same, for them to both be smoking, relieving the stress of the situation. Or to even just smoke together like they used to. Antonio took a long drag, closing his eyes as the nicotine hit him. He held his hand out to offer to Francis who shook his head.

"Arthur thinks we should quit," he explained softly.

"But…But you like it," Antonio narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah. I do. But…Arthur wants to quit, so I told him I'd do it with him. It's hard."

"I wouldn't know," Antonio rolled his eyes. "What's with you and this guy anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Francis frowned.

"I feel like you're changing for him." Antonio blew smoke. He noticed Francis taking an extra deep breath.

"No, we are changing together. And it's not on purpose. We just…are?" He shrugged. "You know maybe it wouldn't be so bad for you to give it a shot?"

"Shut up…" Antonio muttered.

"I'm just saying…"

"You don't know anything about the relationship I have with him!" Antonio snapped. Francis blinked, his mouth opening and closing. "You don't. You don't know how much I love him or how guilty he makes me feel! He's perfect! And I'm just…" He shook his head. "I don't know him."

"You can't change that," Francis said softly.

"You know…I just…I get urges. I…I just wanted him so badly. And the more he pushed the more I wanted him." He shakes his head. "He never talked to me. Not really. He talks to Matthew and his brother and Alfred. By the way, why would anyone talk to Alfred? The guy's clueless."

"He's not," Francis mumbled.

"What?"

"He's not clueless. You just…Toni you want to have superficial relationships. You're scared of people telling you the truth." Francis sighed.

"What?"

"How many times have you dumped me because I told you the truth? Emma? How many times have you blown up at Gilbert? You don't want people telling you when you're wrong."

"Nobody does," Antonio glared.

"But you have serious issues with it. And I think it's because you know what's wrong and you want to ignore it. Maybe that's why you feel so guilty." Francis scooted closer to Antonio, eyeing the cigarette in his hand.

"You fucking cheated on me, so don't." Antonio rolled his eyes.

"No. No, I realized that I was starting to fall for someone else and I needed to go before I hurt you. And I'm happy. I thought you would be too. You have your Lovi."

"I can't stand you sometimes."

Antonio and Francis were silent. Antonio watched the cars drive by. People passing through. He wondered where they were going. Did they have to deal with so much hurt? So much guilt? What were they doing? Where were they going? He wished he could be in a car with one of them. He wished he could escape.

"Give me that," Francis muttered, taking the cigarette and inhaling.

"I thought you were quitting with your boyfriend," Antonio smirked.

"I am." Francis smiled as he exhaled. "I'm weak. Addiction's a bitch. I'll start over in ten minutes."

"Hey Francis?" Antonio asked after a moment.

"Hm?"

"I think…I think I want to start over too." Antonio whispered. "Hey Francis what do you think about...?"

Lovino stared at Luca while the nurse discharged him. Two days in ICU, a day on the floor and now he was getting discharged only to be readmitted into a behavioral hospital. He didn't want to let Luca go. He didn't want to be away from him. Mandatory seventy-two hours or until he wasn't suicidal. He couldn't deal with that. He needed to be with Luca. He regretted everything and nothing at the same time. The child was oblivious to the situation. He just nursed hungrily, holding Lovino's breast gently. This little boy, this infant was the best thing Lovino ever did. He was certain of that. And yet because of so called postpartum psychosis, he was being separated from him. Tears stung in Lovino's eyes.

"Do you have any questions?" The nurse smiled.

"Can't I stay? I promise I won't do it again." He whispered.

"I'm sorry…" She gave him an apologetic look. "This is very serious and we need to make sure you and your baby are safe, okay?"

He nodded. He hated her. Hated everything. She left the papers next to him on the bed and told him he was able to finish breastfeeding. Lovino glared at the floor. As if he needed permission to feed his baby. Fuck her. What did she know about him? It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. No.

Antonio and his mother sat to the side, the car seat next to Antonio. They were speaking softly in hushed voices. Lovino didn't know why. It's like he couldn't understand. They were probably talking about him. He desperately hoped they were planning a way to take him away with Luca and keep him from ever leaving the baby's side. Luca needed him. Nobody else knew what Luca's cries meant. Only Lovino knew. There were different cries. Hungry, wet, cold, dirty, wanting attention, pain. What if they didn't know what Luca wanted? They didn't know his schedule. They didn't know how he hated tummy time, so you had to play with him to distract him. They didn't know that he liked the green rattle the best or that his favorite song was Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. They didn't know that if you sang "You Are My Sunshine" that Luca would be silent and watch. They didn't know Luca.

Inevitably, the time came that Lovino had to part with Luca. Tears fell down his cheeks as he hugged the child, kissing his cheeks and telling him how much loved him. Antonio had to practically pry the infant from him. Lovino watched tearfully as Antonio put him in the car seat and hugged his mother. The woman made her way over to the man and hugged.

"Your baby will be safe, Lovino. Don't worry. Get well. We all love you so much." She pressed her lips to his cheek and gave him a teary smile.

"I need to say bye to him," Lovino rushed to the baby, kneeling on the floor. "I love you. I love you. I love you!" He sobbed over and over. "Tu sei un dono del cielo. Sei tutto per me. Senza di te non posso più vivere. Sei il grande amore della mia vita. Senza di te la vita non ha più senso."

Lovino stood up, letting Antonio hold him. Lovino couldn't help but start giving them both instructions on how to take care of him. They needed to know all his favorite things. How to make his tummy stop hurting. How to hold him. How to sleep with him. Everything. Nobody knew anything about Luca but him. Luca was his baby. Rosella promised him she'd take perfect care of him. Lovino let Antonio lead him to the car, his eyes never leaving his son.

Antonio pulled up to the large building. He had insisted on getting Lovino dinner before they got to the hospital. They had been given an hour to arrive or police would be sent. The law was so ridiculous. Lovino had to choke down the food. Antonio just wouldn't take he had no appetite for an answer. He didn't want to be without Luca. He didn't want to go. But he had to. He stared at the facility. Large, lit up beige. There were trees and flowers to give the illusion of invitation. Lovino already knew this was hell.

Antonio opened his door, holding a hand out to him. Lovino took it. He wished he could have seen his brother or Matthew before he had to leave. But they had been strict. Antonio had been adamant about not calling Feliciano. "He's sick!" was the excuse. Lovino didn't see what it mattered. Feliciano could have helped. He was sure of it. He wiped tears off his face angrily. He hated that he was crying. He hated that he was going so willingly.

They entered through the large sliding doors. The floors sparkled, reflecting the lights back into the room to give it a nice glow. There were a set of vending machines with a television above them on the wall. Black arm chairs circled toward it. Fake plants accenting the lobby. Antonio walked them toward the receptionist who had a bored expression on her face. Antonio filled out the paperwork. Antonio did the talking. Lovino was so thankful. He didn't want to talk.

They were buzzed in through a set of metal double doors. A tech met them, instructing them to take certain items and clothing off. Things that they deemed dangerous. He watched with dead eyes while the man searched through every article of clothing in the duffle bag Antonio had brought. Everything seemed to pass inspection. He hated that, them touching his things.

They were buzzed into the next set of doors and the tech led them to a bedroom. Lovino said a silent prayer thanking God, Jesus and Mary herself that he didn't have to have a roommate. He wouldn't have been able to stand it. Policies and procedures were gone over. Lovino was helped to settle in. There was a schedule. The thought brought tears to his eyes. He'd have to be awake at seven in the morning. Breakfast was at seven-thirty. Then med pass. Then there was group therapy and individual therapy. Leisure time then more forced socializing. He hated it. He wanted to scream, to walk out. Instead he just sat there nodding and listening. He didn't have a choice. This was his life now. He was glad to hear that he was going to be allowed to pump as promised at the other hospital. Still, everything felt so strange, tense.

"You've got another thirty minutes of visitation if the two of you would like it. It's going to be in the activity room though." The tech said directing them to the location.

Antonio thanked the man and led Lovino by the hand to the room. Lovino didn't want to talk. He sat there while Antonio fidgeted. There were several groups sitting at tables around the room. Some people looked happy, others were apathetic. He could see every sort of emotion in the room. He didn't want to get to know these people. He didn't care about their stories. He just needed to make it his three days and he could leave. Good behavior. That's how this worked right? Unless the psychiatrist thinks I need to be here longer. Lovino brushed the thought away.

"Lovino, we need to talk." Antonio sighed, taking his hand.

"What?" Lovino muttered.

"I've been thinking a lot about this relationship." Lovino sighed and pulled his hand away, crossing his arms and leaning back. This again. The sex talk. What part of pushing a human out of you puts you off of sex did he not get? "I feel like the way we started, it was so fast. We didn't have time to talk. We went zero to one hundred immediately." Wait…this was different. "I realize we never really had a normal progression. We got drunk and had sex and it was amazing. But we founded this relationship on lust and infatuation. And I really don't think that's healthy. Francis helped me realize it. I realized I don't know much about you. I know superficial things, but Lovino…"

"Why are you calling me Lovino?" he asked his heart racing, tears pricking in his eyes.

"That's your name. Just, please, listen." Antonio leaned forward. "This isn't healthy, Lovino. Us. We're not healthy. Do you even know my full name? Do you know my favorite ice cream? Lovino, three days ago I realized I didn't even know your favorite food or what your dad did for a living. I don't think this is an appropriate environment to raise a child in."

"What are you saying?" Lovino felt himself start to shake. Why was he talking like this?

"I love you, but I don't think it's really love, love? I…I don't think we have a foundation. We were into sex and now we don't."

"Tonio," Lovino reached for his hands. Antonio pulled away.

"I think we should break up."

Those words. Lovino couldn't breathe. He couldn't hear a sound. No. What was doing? Leaving him in here and taking Luca? Leaving him with Luca? He couldn't do it alone. Who would want him? Nobody. He couldn't be alone. Antonio was all he fucking had. Panic started to creep up as tears poured down his cheeks. His chest ached. He felt sick.

"No." Lovino shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Lovino," Antonio said gently, standing up.

"Fuck you! Don't leave! Get your ass back here! Antonio! Antonio!" Lovino shouted. He couldn't stand. He couldn't move. He watched him walk away. He crumpled into a mess, sobbing into his arms on the table. This wasn't real. This wasn't real. He couldn't. No. He wasn't going to leave him now. Not ever. What was he going to do? What about Luca? Oh god, Luca.

"Excuse me?" Lovino lifted his head at the sound of the familiar voice. Antonio was standing in front of him with a sheepish smile on his face. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but noticing you. I'm Antonio, Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo." He held his hand out.

"Toni, what the fuck?" Lovino whispered.

"Did it hurt?"

Lovino glanced down at his arms. "Um…I…I don't remember."

"No, when you fell from heaven. Because you must be an angel." Antonio grinned.

"What?" Lovino stared at him.

"Are you from Tennessee?"

"Antonio you know…"

"Because you're the only ten I see." Antonio winked.

"What are you doing?" Lovino asked.

"Is this seat taken?" Antonio asked.

"No…" Lovino shifted his eyes deciding to play along.

"I think we should start over. I'm Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo and I think you are the cutest person I've met in my entire life. Even with your eyes all red and puffy and the snot." He held out his hand.

"Lovino Vargas," Lovino shook his hand.

"What bring you here?" Antonio grinned at him, leaning his chin in his hand.

"Um...I'm being forced to get my life back together."

"Oh, I see, I see. Kind of like a fresh start?"

"Yeah…" Lovino tugged at his sleeve.

"May I have your attention? Visiting hours are now over." An announcement came over the intercom.

"Would...would you be so kind as to go on a date with me tomorrow? Same place. Say…six o'clock?" Antonio rubbed the back of his neck.

"Um..sure," Lovino whispered.

"Great! Good night, Lovino Vargas." He winked and walked away.

"Good night…" Lovino whispered, feeling his cheeks heat with a blush.

Translation for what Lovino tells Luca. Sorry if I got anything mixed up with context? :

"You are the sunshine of my life. You are everything to me. I can't live without you. You are the love of my life. Without you, life has no meaning."

please please please review! 3