Rating/Disclaimer: T for now, may be higher later. Still don't own them anything Otome or HiME-related, just the story below. So long as the credits are intact, feel free to save a personal copy or to link to the fic. If you plan to post whole chapters somewhere, just ask. :) Author's notes at the end.

8. The Past - Ascending

Dear Shizuru,

Or is it Meister Viola now? It's weird not knowing what to call you. We never talked about that. Don't worry, if we meet again I'll try my best not to embarrass Garderobe's newest Meister.

So I got home yesterday. You'll be happy to know that I succeeded in my plan to get off the train at the first town in Aries and bike the rest of the way. It was great to be on the road again. I know you don't get it, but on my bike I'm just myself, not a student of Garderobe, the daughter of the President, or even a Kruger.

Oh I can almost see that expression on your face! Bet you're dying to scold me but honestly, Aries has decent roads and the major highways are safe. If you ever find yourself here, I'll show you around too. We can make an entire day of it or overnight…if your circumstances allow, I guess? Have you ever gone on a road trip? I can take you to some of my favorite places. Though who knows, maybe by then I'll have to ask for permission too.

Want to hear something funny? Last year, my parents had to drag me kicking and screaming on the train. Then when I got there, sorry, but I hated Windbloom at first. It was hot, there was sand everywhere, all the street names in the city sounded strange, basically everything was just weird, you know? I would've given my right arm to return to Aries. Now that I'm back though – okay, don't get me wrong, it's nice to be home and with my sister, and I really don't miss hearing "clumsy Coral" wherever I go (sadly, I haven't gotten Miss Maria's voice out of my head yet) – but for some reason, I find myself missing the wide-open spaces of the dessert and the carefully tended gardens of Wind City. Or maybe it's not just the place that I miss? Ugh, as usual I'm crap at expressing myself.

Congratulations on your ascension! Write back when you can.

Natsuki Kruger

I lay back on my bed as I savored the letter for possibly the hundredth time. It was delivered this morning, and I'd poured over it during every spare moment since.

I could picture Natsuki as she wrote it – I'd seen her doing homework often enough – the way her brow knit in concentration, the angle of her head as she bent over the paper, the way she held her pen loosely in her hand, like a weapon. But how exactly had she done it this time? Had she rushed into her room upon her arrival, still in her gear, and impatiently reached for pen and paper? In cooler Aries, she told me she had worn a leather jacket to beat off the wind or the rain, and the dust of the road. Or had she washed and changed, and rested, and written to me in the leisure of bedtime? It had only been two weeks since we had parted; the letter must have been sent soon after her arrival.

And she was clever. Sometimes the mail was checked, and she hadn't written anything that would've raised more than an eyebrow if someone else had read it. But that question, "maybe it's not just the place that I miss?" easily took me back to our day in the park, and the moment when Natsuki's mouth had opened beneath mine. I heard, too, the ache in her words when she mentioned permission.

If I wrote her back now, would she hear the fear in my words? For it was only after the elation and the sadness of that day that I realized that in our kiss, that frozen moment when I realized how far and what I would dare for her sake, lay feelings that were true, deep, and that I had never felt before. I didn't even know I could feel this way.

I loved her, and that scared the hell out of me. To want someone, sure. To be fond of someone, or to care, but to risk all? To give up everything that my family had drilled into me since childhood, and everything that I had worked toward? Only Natsuki's reticience had saved both of us that day. If she had asked… My family had raised me to be a human weapon, a perfect candidate for Garderobe, a faultless Otome. Weapons weren't supposed to have feelings.

And now I was daydreaming of what, an alternate world where Natsuki and I would've met as other than Coral and Pearl? My fingers traced the creases in the cream-colored stationery with the outline of the seal of the House of Kruger embossed on each page. Our families were nearly equal in prestige and resources, but I was the youngest child while Natsuki was the Kruger heir and the daughter of a sitting President. Under other circumstances, the Violas would've jumped at the match. I wished for that more than anything.

It was ridiculously easy to imagine us in a different life. We would date and finish our studies while I courted the occasionally bashful, sometimes irascible girl with care. When the day came, our families would insist on an opulent, massive wedding attended by hundreds of guests, the event of the season.

All I had to do was to close my eyes and the vision presented itself: myself walking at a measured pace towards Natsuki, resplendent in my gown while an orchestra serenaded the onlookers. Natsuki would be resplendent in a woman's tailor-fitted, bespoke tux, the dark satin lapels of her tastefully ornate, hand-stitched jacket framing a vest and silk dress shirt artfully unbuttoned to the vee of her breasts. Because she was Natsuki, the restrictive tie would be carelessly bunched in her pocket.

Later, at the reception, I would pull her into a corner and reach inside the pocket of her trousers. Her breath would hitch while I drew the tie out in a languid manner, with only the thin barrier of pocket silk to shield her thigh from the warmth of my hand and the cloth unspooling against it. I would drape the tie around her collar but leave it undone, my silent message to her: I will not stifle you, my Natsuki, I will protect who you are. I will tease you, and myself, mercilessly until the dances and duties are done. Then, tonight, you will be mine…

I forced my eyes open as my breathing turned ragged. Natsuki would be just as stunning in a gown, but for some reason these were the images that had been haunting my dreams since we'd taken that motorcycle ride.

I placed the letter inside my nightstand and turned off the light. My dreams were too late; I would be presented to the Progenitor tomorrow. I'll find the words to answer her after, I told myself. It would be one of the few acts I would reserve for myself, master or no. Tonight, I'd keep my dreams for as long as I could.

In the morning, I was led quietly, with clasped hands and bowed head, before the final resting place of Our Lady, the First Otome. Even the most jaded of students fell silent once the meter-thick steel doors parted at the signal of the Director. If there was one sanctum that a student of Garderobe held inviolate, this was it. After all, most Otomes stood before the Progenitor only once, at their presentation.

The presentation to the Lady Fumi was no mere ceremony. Rumors abounded of students who'd passed all the tests Garderobe devised, only to be found unworthy here. Will she see that my heart isn't that of an Otome's? I had schoolmates who possessed a certainty that I didn't, who could pledge absolute loyalty to a master without qualms. Laura Bianchi, for instance, argued that there was a kind of freedom in the vows. After all, didn't our oaths mean that the decision and, therefore, ultimate burden of responsibility for our acts, lay with our masters? How easy it would be if I believed that. But I tried not to lie to myself and I wasn't about to start now – I might obey, but I would still be Shizuru. I had learned the value of obedience, yes, at first to avoid punishment, then to accomplish what I sought. But my nature was not obedient.

Because of this or maybe because I was alone instead of among sixteen other Pearls, my anxiety increased the deeper we descended into the sanctum. The advanced machinery that dwarfed our small party – the Headmistress, the Archmeister, Miss Maria, the Director, and myself – existed nowhere else on Ers. Only Garderobe possessed this much of the legendary technology of old Earth, before wars, disasters, and climactic changes had remade the planet. Some countries, like Aries and Windbloom, were at the forefront of rediscovering old technology and creating new ones. But none of them came close to matching the machinery in this room. These weren't museum relics either, as the Director demonstrated when she touched a panel and several screens lit up. "We're ready."

Miss Maria guided me forward until I was standing before the massive circular chamber of the First Otome. The back of my neck prickled as the burnished metal globe loomed coldly above me. Somehow it did feel like I was being observed. What if was true? What if the Lady Fumi could look into our very being? I had not joined Garderobe with noble intentions. Even now I was here primarily for the freedom and advantages that would come if I became an Otome.

Worse, my loyalties? At this moment, I understood that they would never completely lie with a master because one girl already possessed the ability to sway them. At that moment, her name rang so clearly in my mind that I had to bite my lips to keep from saying 'Natsuki' aloud.

A screen in front of the Director flashed. She called softly to the others and pointed at the display. One by one, their heads rose from the screen to stare at me.

I pretended not to notice and clasped my hands more tightly together. My heart felt like it was halfway up my throat. Had I been found out?

"Shizuru Viola." It was the Headmistress who approached. I tried to meet her piercing gaze without flinching. "Come with us, please."

The Headmistress led us to her office, another place that only a few students, usually the remarkable or the troublesome, entered. I'd been in here as a Trias several times but today it was different.

Another woman joined us soon after, and to my dismay it was the Third Pillar, the one who had slyly questioned my relationship with Natsuki during the hearing. What was she doing here?

The Third Pillar only smiled enigmatically while Miss Maria began to list the invitations for my hand. Natsuki was correct: offers from some of the most prominent families in the world had poured in for me, including one from Windbloom's own palace. In addition to my so-called sterling qualities, our graduation dance had thrilled the populace.

Windbloom's invitation was what my family had schemed for. The child-princess, Mashiro Blan de Windbloom, was too young to choose her own Otome, but I had performed well enough for the royal palace itself to offer. If I accepted, not only would I become the princess' protector until she came of age but in some ways a sort of guardian, too. Never mind the doubts that swirled around the princess' parentage; barring assassination, in a few years she would be crowned queen. And if by then her Otome had won her affection and her ear? That would guarantee the eminence of the Violas for years to come. Court appointments, contracts, influence – all would be within reach.

I had also determined that it would guarantee my future. Assuming I survived until retirement, which was not unlikely since the world had been at peace for decades, by that time wouldn't a grateful queen gift me with my own title, perhaps even a ministry? With that kind of influence, who cared about birth order? The Viola clan itself would seek to install me as my father's successor.

Miss Maria came to the end of offers. Then she paused and added, "The Progenitor has also chosen you to become one of her Columns."

What?! I had been so sure that the Lady had seen through me. I looked around the room with open bewilderment. Weren't there Five Pillars already?

"There's a reason why the presentation is also called the Five Columns Exam," the Headmistress smoothly took over. "In this case, our Lady's selection is timely. The Third Column, the Break String Spinel, has petitioned Garderobe for permission to retire early. Something about a Baron?"

"A Viscount," the red-haired Otome corrected lazily. "Given that it's the second time he's proposed, it would be bad manners to refuse," she said with a high trilling laugh that many men probably found attractive. I schooled my distaste and tried to think. Though there were no hard and fast rules, most Otomes served into their mid to late thirties, some, like Miss Maria, well beyond that. The Third Pillar looked like she was in her late twenties. To be granted dispensation now, while she was in her prime, would be extraordinary.

"Naturally, that he's a Viscount now, instead of just the old Viscount's second son, doesn't factor into it at all," the Archmeister observed in a deadpan monotone.

The Third Pillar only smiled wider. "Now, now, Archmeister, I simply want to comfort my future husband sooner rather than later. The Headmistress agrees that it's the compassionate thing to do, considering his recent loss."

"The Viscount's family has been a steadfast ally of Garderobe," the Headmistress replied agreeably, "but it wouldn't be possible to grant your petition if Our Lady herself didn't provide us with a possible successor. We can take that as a sign of her favor, but please note that Meister Viola hasn't accepted yet."

She turned towards me. "If you decide to take her place among us, however, the Break String Spinel is not the Gem that I have set aside for you." Was it my imagination or was there a sudden gleam in her eyes? "Since our dance, I knew that I had found a worthy candidate at last. The way you fought me and stood your ground, the way you refused to stay down and show any pain – you will be a formidable Otome. One who deserves this," and with that, she unveiled a single earring that glinted a deep purple in its box. Unlike most Gems, this one had no matching ring for the hand of a master. Its paired stone was embedded in one of the columns that surrounded the Progenitor's chamber. "This is the Bewitching Smile Amethyst. Pledge your allegiance to Our Lady, take your place as the new Third Column, and one of Garderobe's most powerful Gems will be yours."

I nearly gasped, and I wasn't the only one. Heads swiveled towards the Headmistress in astonishment. Miss Maria visibly checked herself. She had, after all, served with the Amethyst's infamous owner, Una Shamrock, one of the most forceful leaders Garderobe has ever had…and the ultimate cause of its downfall.

Twenty-five years ago, Garderobe was an independent force. Though officially neutral, the Pillars could intervene wherever they pleased, subject only to the authority of the Gakuencho and their own good sense. Headmistress Una Shamrock was the perfect battle-hardened commander for those chaotic days. But in her rigid quest to quell any perceived threat, she made a fatal error: she ordered an attack on Sifr Fran, an illegitimate daughter of the Windbloom royal family. Lena Sayers, Bruce Blan de Windbloom II's Otome and Sifr's friend, had prevented Sifr's death. With the power of the near-mythical Blue Sky Sapphire, it was said that Sayers had defeated Una and the Pillars in less than a minute. In the aftermath, international outrage caused Una to be stripped from her position and expelled from Garderobe under Meister Maria's watchful eye. The countries of the world united to restrict Garderobe, especially inside Windbloom, which Sifr Fran came to rule as Queen.

Today, the Pillars, faculty and students were forbidden by treaty from activating their Gems unless they were inside Garderobe itself or in the deep desert. The exceptions to this rule were few – the authorization of a master or head of government, an official request, or events so dire that Natsuki lumped them together as "moments of impending doom." No one, including the students, had seen a real battle dance in decades.

And this crazy lady wanted to give this Gem to me? For the first time in ages, I heard myself stammer. "This is an…unexpected honor. May I…may I have some time to think about it?"

If the Headmistress was disappointed by my lack of enthusiasm, she didn't let on. If anything, her voice became more genial. "Of course, we all understand that it's a serious decision. You must at least consider Wind Palace's offer, too." Then her smile sharpened. "You have two days."

Hours later, with the world falling into dusk, and for only the second time since I'd entered Garderobe, I sank down onto the grass of the gardens. Without a care for my clothes, I lay back and let my world become a field of stars. The air was filled with the scents of crushed grass, verdant leaves and flowers. Overhead, a half-moon shone brightly. "Natsuki," I sighed to my pretend companion, "you'll never guess what happened today..."

The advantages to accepting Wind Palace's offer were already well-known and considered, but Garderobe?

If I chose Garderobe, I might have an Otome's prestige after retirement, but no guarantee of power after. Decades from now I would still be a well-off noble of the House of Viola but perhaps no more than one of its more colorful members. That was the aftermath though. How long would I be an Otome, ten, twenty years, possibly more? After all, Miss Maria was officially retired and we'd never seen her activate her Gem, but she still wore it.

If I pledged myself to the Progenitor, I would be one of the few Otomes not subject to the whims of a living master. While the Pillars followed the Headmistress, our lives weren't tied to hers. While she exerted some control over our Gems and authority, she was a Pillar too, not a master. Decades ago, the Pillar Elliot Chandler had defied Una Shamrock because of her friendship with Sifr. Technically, any Pillar could do the same, although they would find their Gem deactivated soon after.

As my head spun, I could almost picture Natsuki stretched out next to me, head perched on one hand while she regarded me. I wish you would follow your heart, Shizuru.

What did my heart want?

The answer was almost instant: freedom. But would I truly be free? If anything, the world's expectations would fall more heavily upon me if I took the mantle of the Bewitching Smile Amethyst. But it would be a burden of my choosing. And it would break the heavy chains of my family. Not even the Violas would dare to interfere with Garderobe. And as a Pillar, would I not see Natsuki again? I closed my eyes, and beneath my lids her ghostly presence seemed to return my smile.

"How strange. I would've never taken you for a stargazer."

The cool, amused voice brought me starkly out of my daydream. Only long practice, and the fact that I immediately recognized the Third Pillar, kept me from vaulting to my feet. What was she doing here? "Good evening, Meister."

And because I was young, I rose quickly so as not to let her keep the higher vantage point. Only the confidence of the years ahead would teach me to remain relaxed, forcing the other party to either seat themselves or to hover awkwardly. Nine times out of ten this would work, save on one person who seemed just as content to stand as to sit in my presence. But that would come much later.

Today, I was pinned by a gaze much shrewder than my own. At least, unlike the Headmistress and the Archmeister, the Third Pillar was shorter than me. "You're something of a cypher, aren't you? Pity we won't get to know each other. I have a feeling you'll make things more interesting around here."

What the flame was I supposed to say to that? "Did you want to talk to me, Meister Spinel? I lost track of time." I nearly winced. Wonderful, why was it that though for once every word was true, it sounded completely stupid?

The woman simply shrugged. "As I told Marjorie, sometimes Fate takes a hand. Even when we were students, she had a hard time accepting that. Guess that's why she's the Headmistress." She tilted her head. "You don't like me much, do you?" She was already waving her hand before I could even respond. "Never mind, doesn't really matter. The important thing is that you should make the right decision that will protect your pretty girlfriend…yeah, yeah, I know, she's your 'truest friend.' Whatever."

Not liking her was quickly becoming an understatement. "Is that a threat?" Even I heard the deadly undertone in my voice.

Strangely enough, that got her smiling again. "And if it were," she asked silkily, "what would you do about it?" She tested my patience for another second before continuing in a blithe tone, "Marjorie is right about one thing: you're good. We've been watching you since you entered, and if there's one person who can handle that Gem after all this time, it's probably you. I don't envy you though. You've got things like 'destiny' and 'fate' written all over you. Your friend has it, too. Me, all I ever wanted was to settle down with my wonderful Jamie and lead a comfortable life. So how about you take my place and we can all be happy?"

I couldn't believe the sheer effontry of this woman. "Is the Meister Spinel asking me to whimsically commit the rest of my life to this course purely for her sake?" I barely restrained myself from scoffing; this day had thrown me so many ups and downs and it was time for it to end. I brushed my skirt off. "If you'll excuse me, it seems the night has gotten rather chilly. Have a good evening."

My back was already turned when she quietly declared, "Your friend will not survive without you."

Fury erupted inside me. Pillar or not, even the Headmistress would not countenance a direct threat against a student. I spun around…and saw her face.

She had the strangest expression as she stared past me; it was completely blank. "If you do not pledge yourself to Our Lady, there will come a day when your friend will need you, and you will not be there." She snapped out of it in the next second, and it was easy to see that she was utterly horrified.

"Did you just…?" I wasn't even sure what I thought.

A crisp stream of swear words lit the air. "So now you know," the Third Pillar snapped. "There, we're even. If you want to have me committed to this place, just say a few words to the right people and I'll probably be a guinea pig forever."

I had never heard of a Pillar with such an unusual gift. And of all people, her? "This is why you want to retire," I realized. What had she said about fate and destiny? For once, I was afraid to ask.

"It runs in my family," she said with sullen resentment. "But ever since I put on the Break String Spinel, it's gotten worse. That's what they don't tell you about Gems. The strong ones are more than a weapon and a suit of armor; they magnify an Otome's abilities and senses. And before you think about going to her about this, the Headmistress already knows. She's been using it to keep me under her thumb for years. You should also know that she likes doing that, before you decide." By the end she sounded resigned. "You're right, it's late. Good night."

"Meister Spinel."

This time she was the one who paused in her steps. "Yes?"

"If I do take the course that favors you, what will you give me in return?"

She turned. Slowly, her lips curved into a delighted grin. "I was right, you are going to be interesting! Hmm, how about, I will never move against you and your friend?"

Strangely enough, I was much more comfortable now that her malice was out in the open. This I knew how to handle. "I want your reassurance that neither you or your family will ever plot or move against Natsuki, me, or Garderobe. And you will owe us two favors." I held up a hand to staunch the protest that was already forming on her lips. "We may never even ask. If you've been watching us all this time, then you know that Natsuki isn't much for deals. Even if we do, it may take years. Think of how much you'll be enjoying your life with the Viscount in the meantime."

"One favor." She pursed her lips. "And I don't control my family."

"Your immediate family then, the Viscount and your children, and your agents, of course." I gave her a look that said, and don't tell me that you won't have some control over them. She wasn't the kind of person who would choose a mate she couldn't influence.

"Very well. If you decide to take my place me as a Column, and keep this between us."

"Agreed," I replied softly. I didn't know how much her word was worth, but I would keep a record of this night. And if her sense of self-preservation wasn't enough, then there would be alternatives in the future. What had she said? It runs in my family.

"Meister Spinel, are you harassing our latest graduate?" The sudden voice startled us both, and we must've looked guilty as sin when we turned towards the looming form of the Archmeister.

"Not at all, just saying good night," the Third Pillar managed blithely. "If you'll excuse me."

And just like that I was alone with the Archmeister. For Fumi's sake, was every Pillar out for a walk tonight?

"Was she pressuring you?"

Did she really expect me to answer that? "Not at all, Archmeister, she was just dispensing advice to a girl with a difficult decision."

She scoffed at that, but allowed, "It's not an easy decision, that's true. If you wish for some advice, think carefully, and choose what is best for you." Her eyes drifted towards the horizon, and for a second she seemed less a formidable Pillar and more like the woman who sometimes addressed the Headmistress like an outspoken friend. "Choices based solely on…affection may not turn out as you think. An Otome is bound by her oath. Whether you promise yourself to the Progenitor or to royalty, your life will no longer be yours." Her gaze returned to lock sharply with mine. "You were at the hearing; you know that the Headmistress is looking for any excuse to expel Kruger. Don't make it easy for her."

It was as blunt a warning as I would ever get. "But why?" The question broke out from frustration, because I really didn't understand why they had pushed Natsuki towards Mai and then myself, only to try to kick Natsuki out after she had shown such promise.

The Archmeister seemed to weigh how to answer me. "How well do you know your history," she asked abruptly, "in relation to the Gem that the Headmistress has offered?"

"The Bewitching Smile Amethyst was the Gem of Headmistress Shamrock during those…troubled days."

"And do you remember who supported Una Shamrock during that time?"

Even the youngest Coral knew that. "All the Columns did, except for First Column Chandler. Meisters Zarganote, Shimabuki, and Vandeveld fought by her side."

She nodded. "Fifth Column Iruma Vandeveld was Shamrock's ardent follower and supported all her decisions, including the attack on Sifr Fran. Only her youth and the fact that she was following orders saved her from expulsion. Do you remember her Gem?"

"The Ice Silver Crystal."

"Which allows?"

"Long range weaponry in the form of…a gun?!" My eyes widened. "But we don't even know if Natsuki will be chosen."

"Yes," the Archmeister said, "and the best way to ensure that will be to see that she is not presented to Our Lady at all."

"But that's…!" Even I was shocked. The Gakuencho, the guardian of the Progenitor's legacy, wanted to interfere in the Lady Fumi's choice of Pillars? "But that doesn't even make sense! I may not accept the Amethyst, and there's no telling if Our Lady will pick Natsuki. Even if she is, it's the Gakuencho who will decide on the Gem to offer."

"These are points that have been made," the Archmeister sighed in a way that suggested that she was the one who had tried to raise them. "But Marjorie is determined to restore as much of Garderobe's lost power as she can, and the rehabilitation of the Amethyst, one of our most formidable Gems, is a large part of that. She's convinced that if Garderobe regained its authority, pirates, bandits, and scum like the Schwartz wouldn't pose the danger they do now. The recent attack on us has only strengthened that conviction. At any other time, Marjorie would've been ecstatic to find a perfect candidate for the Ice Silver Crystal. But now that Our Lady Fumi has confirmed you, Kruger is… not as important. Because of their history, the Amethyst and the Crystal have not served together in a long time. The nations will be wary if they do, and the Council will watch Garderobe closely no matter how exemplary the new Otome of the Amethyst proves to be. As for the likelihood, Kruger's talent is too rare. If the Lady Fumi chooses her, Marjorie's judgment will be questioned if she doesn't offer the Crystal to her."

"Unless Natsuki is not presented to Our Lady at all." I repeated, still half in disbelief.

"I tell you these things because the two of you are directly involved in these plans." The Archmeister's voice was kind. "We are offered few choices as Otomes. I prefer that they not be made in ignorance. Good night, Meister Viola."

I nearly ran back to my room as soon as she disappeared from sight. With the door closed behind me, I began to pace.

The Headmistress wanted the Bewitching Smile Amethyst rehabilitated and Garderobe's former glory restored. A student, no matter how promising, was barely even a consideration if she impeded those plans. As it was, the Headmistress had nearly gotten Natsuki kicked out.

And if they found out how Natsuki felt about Otomes? The Headmistress and the Archmeister both thought it likely that the Progenitor would choose her, and I knew Natsuki. She would jump at the chance to pledge her allegiance to Garderobe because it was the closest thing to freedom for Otomes. But to permit a person with Natsuki's views to become one of the Five Pillars of Garderobe? Not even the Archmeister would be on her side if she knew. As for the Headmistress, who wanted to restore Garderobe's martial glory? She would see the ascension of someone with Natsuki's beliefs as something impermissible, even dangerous.

Natsuki will be defenseless. But if I were a Pillar too, then there would be two of us against three. And if by then I was, not just a new Pillar, but one with a certain reputation and prestige…

"Think carefully, and choose what is best for you," the Archmeister had advised, not unkindly.

I wanted to laugh. As if there was even a choice. Natsuki was in danger and she didn't even know it. I'd already been leaning towards this choice, anyway.

Oh, that cool inner voice broke in, will you lie to yourself, too?

Just minutes ago, I'd dreamed of becoming a Pillar who would be a continuing presence in Natsuki's life. But if I were to become an effective ally, no one could guess at the depth of my feelings for her. Of course, the current Pillars and teachers would suspect for a long time, but how many students had they seen pass through these gates with deep ties, only to throw them aside and fight to the death at the order of their masters? I didn't need to convince them that I felt nothing for Natsuki, only that being an Otome and a Pillar mattered more. I had no hope of pretending that I was anything less than fond of Natsuki, but if I could show, over time, that that fondness was scattered in many directions…?

And just like that, the path I would take became clear to me. Become the perfect Otome of the Bewitching Smile Amethyst, graceful, faultless, peerless, affectionate but never with any true ties beyond Garderobe. It will be a long game, with eyes on me the entire time.

What had the Headmistress said, that the Amethyst could only be wielded by an Otome with formidable will? I took a deep breath. Time will tell.

And it started with this. I opened the drawer with Natsuki's letter inside. I touched the creamy, thick paper with her bold handwriting and the crest of House Kruger. Faultless, peerless, with no true ties beyond Garderobe, I repeated to myself. For her sake, I could never leave a record of my feelings.

Strangely, when the day came, I took true joy in my ascension. I had worked long and hard to become an Otome. I did want to serve Our Lady, though part of my heart lay elsewhere. So when the Headmistress called for the ceremony and fitted the Bewitching Smile Amethyst to my left ear, it was still the culmination of a dream.

After ensuring that the new Gem was fastened, the Headmistress turned towards the small gathering of Pillars, relatives, senior teachers and personnel in the auditorium. "We welcome into our fold the Third Column, the Bewitching Smile Amethyst Shizuru Viola!"

The only discordant note was my father, who of course had to attend for the sake of appearances. He couldn't resist the opportunity to berate me as he stepped up on the stage to offer his "congratulations." As he shook my hand, he hissed under his breath that I had wasted years of hard work.

Years of my life. I simply looked at him with a smile that would seem placid to anyone else in the room, but to him showed a hint of steel. "Do you think it wise to express such a thought here, sir, and to a Column?"

He dropped my hand as if it scalded him, and for the first time I saw shock in those cold eyes. Then my mother stepped forward and embraced me. "We are proud of you, Shizuru."

"Thank you, mother." If you had tried to protect me just once, I would've been your ally for life.

There were other congratulations, both perfunctory and sincere, but I was honestly in a daze through most of it. Then the Archmeister was steering me outside the hall and into the sunlight. "You know the rules?"

"Activate the Gem only within Garderobe or in uninhabited areas. For everywhere else, wait for an official request or authorization, unless there's an emergency." I repeated the gist of the lessons Garderobe had drilled into us for years.

Pleased, she stepped back. "We'll train very hard in the days to come. But today is yours, Meister Viola. Oh and," there was the slightest grin on her face, "we've received authorization for you to fly, provided you do most of it out of sight of the city and away from the palace. Remember, land only in the desert or inside Garderobe. Return and see me within three hours, please."

I nodded and took a few steps forward. In a movement that I had made dozens of times but today felt new, I flicked the Gem at my ear. "Materialize."

I extended my right arm perpendicular to my body, and the manifestation of the metaphysical armor began. Each Otome found her own variation to the motions that activated the Gem's control of her nanomachines, but however methodical it seemed to us, in reality the transformation was complete in a few seconds. I took a sharp breath as the full energy of the Amethyst bonded with the nanomachines in my blood. It felt incredibly right, like every Gem I'd worn before was a poor imitation.

For a second I simply stood there as the robes of the Amethyst coalesced from a projection of purplish light to solidity around me. Technically, it was armor, but it was beautiful and weighed next to nothing. Despite its bulk, it cloaked me as comfortably as my best clothing, like a flexible, second skin. The Gem controlled the nanomachines in my blood with a degree of precision I hadn't thought possible, enhancing every motion with a power and fluidity beyond imagining. The Trias Pearl gem I'd worn before had given me flight and the strength of a dozen men, but it was child's play compared to this. I flexed my hands and arms in wonder. I felt…unstoppable, amazed.

The sound of applause broke my near-trance. By the time I turned to the small audience who had followed us, my face held only a pleased serenity. I executed a humble bow and waited for the applause to die down. I stood there long enough to satisfy their curiosity, the first Meister Otome of the Bewitching Smile Amethyst the world had seen in years. Then, with a gesture of parting and a real smile, I launched myself into the sky.

The Archmeister had said I should keep out of sight of the city, so I flew straight up until I was nothing more than a speck to those on the ground. Nothing I'd ever had before could compare to the speed and power of the Amethyst, and its sheer willingness to do everything I wanted. It was with some regret that I deliberately held back because no one below would appreciate a sonic boom just now. Soon though, I grinned.

The wind rose up to meet me. Even as a Pearl, I felt like the air was my element. While Gems allowed us to power through them, I studied currents and thermals, and tailored my movements to them. With that knowledge and practice, and now the Amethyst, I sliced and whirled through the air like a dancer with an invisible partner. It was effortless, and all with a speed I couldn't wait to test.

When I passed the gates of Wind City and entered the true dessert, I settled for a lower altitude. Time for maneuvers. I grinned as the robe took me through every zig, zag and twist I could think of.

On a whim, I flew up then spun into a nose-dive, gaining speed as I fell. Reckless, but how could I resist? The wind rushed around me and suddenly the sand loomed close. I jack-knifed so that my feet, instead of my head, pointed to the ground – not that that would help much if I crashed at this velocity. In seconds, I had slowed and was floating inches away from the crest of a dune.

So the Amethyst wasn't just powerful, it was precise. Natsuki would've wondered at the delighted laugh that sprung from me as I soared into the sky again, leaving all concerns behind.

For the first time in forever, I felt free.

A/N: Surprise! Here's a little gift before the year, and the decade, ends. Sorry for the hiatus and any that may follow. There have been so many changes and new responsibilities IRL, and that applies to my former beta, too. xxmadlaxx has other things she needs to do now, and I continue to wish her all the best. So this chapter is unbeta'd and all mistakes are mine. Thank you to everyone who continued to leave comments, kudos, and encouragement even when I couldn't reply. In all honesty, this chapter would not be here at all if not for you. Please continue to feed the muse, because she has so many other things to contend with now. Happy New Year, everyone!