A/N: this has been sitting in my drafts for over a year and a half and I finally got around to finishing it up. anyways ! the basis for this is childhood best friends reuniting after years apart :)
I also want to take the time to thank everyone who's been following this collection. You all are wonderful and I've absolutely adored writing for you and getting to talk to you. That said, I'm probably going to mark this collection as "complete" for now (I hope you feel like it wrapped up at a good point! this piece is very near and dear to my heart). If you'd like to keep up with me as I fandom-hop and live life (yay for entering sophomore year of college, welp), you can always find me over on tumblr amillionsmiles. I'll probably open up my inbox over there to drabble prompts for these two on occasion as well.
anyways, without further ado, enjoy! love y'all
are you having fun yet? (i'll send you the sunset)
"I'm here, I'm here!"
From where she's been slouching against the gate, GoGo straightens. Tadashi Hamada, Late Boy Extraordinaire, barrels out the door of his house and ends up in front of her, hunched over and panting.
"Sorry. How long have you been waiting?"
"Ten minutes." She sticks a shiny green wrapper in his face. "Gum?"
"No thanks, I just brushed my teeth."
"Suit yourself," shrugs GoGo, shoving it into her mouth to add to the wad she's already chewing. "Where's Hiro?"
"Here!" Hiro ambles down the walkway, a piece of toast clutched in his hand.
"Jeez, walk a little slower, why don't you," grumbles Tadashi.
"I can go slower."
"Don't you dare. You're the reason we're running late! How is it that you can do your math homework in ten minutes but it takes you half an hour to get dressed?"
"I don't like my uniform," justifies Hiro, pulling at his shirt collar.
Tadashi sighs, squatting before his younger brother. "You'll get used to it."
"Yeah, right," Hiro mumbles, but he remains still to let Tadashi fix his tie. As soon as Tadashi finishes, Hiro sets the pace, marching ahead.
"Morning to you, too, Hiro," GoGo teases, thumbs hooked in the straps of her backpack as she and Tadashi bring up the rear.
Hiro looks at her over his shoulder. "Good morning, GoGo," he replies, flashing a toothy grin before he jogs ahead of them, backpack bouncing.
GoGo pinches Tadashi's side.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You're the one who got him started with that nickname. How am I ever going to scare him when he calls me GoGo?"
"You're plenty scary already."
"Gee, thanks."
"What? That was a compliment!" protests Tadashi, the tips of his ears turning red as he glowers.
"No, that was just your way of saying that I'm mean."
"GoGo." Tadashi's expression shifts to one of mock hurt. "I would never."
"Whatever." GoGo rolls her eyes to show him that she doesn't really mind.
They get to the metro station and join the rush of bodies flowing down the stairs that morning; GoGo keeps an eye on the yellow tag on Hiro's backpack as she and Tadashi scan their metro cards and rush through the gates. They make it to the platform just in time, breathing in alongside the exhale of air as the railcar stops in front of them, doors sliding open. A man in a suit and an elder woman with a grocery bag stand up; GoGo slides into their vacated seats, dragging Tadashi down next to her.
"Did you do the homework?"
Tadashi tightens his arms around his backpack, which now sits in his lap, and eyes her warily. "Yes…"
She flashes her sweetest smile.
"GoGo," says Tadashi, outraged. "Again?"
Feigning a huge yawn, GoGo drops her head against Tadashi's shoulder. "It was boring and I was tired."
"No," resists Tadashi, his eyebrows drawing together. GoGo calls it his "Big Brother" face because he always looks like that right before he tells Hiro that he can't do something. Except now he's using it on her, which is not cool.
"But I'm your best friend," she whines, trying to inject a little more desperation in her voice. "It's just a completion grade, anyways."
"So then make up some answers!"
"I still don't want to seem stupid!"
"You aren't stupid, you're just lazy—ow! GoGo!" yelps Tadashi, jerking away from her. "Why do you always pinch me?"
"You two are weird," comments Hiro from across the aisle.
"Watch it, kid," GoGo says, but there's little real malice in it. She returns her attention to Tadashi. "Fine, be that way," she says, easing back in her seat. "I guess I won't tell you the real reason I didn't do my homework."
The two of them stare resolutely at the advertisements plastered overhead: Tutoring for the TOEFL. Asahi beer. SK-II Facial Treatment.
"Shijo approaching," intones the announcer. GoGo calculates that they have five minutes left before their own stop. Tadashi had better hurry up.
Sure enough, he caves. "Okay, fine, I'll bite. Why didn't you do your homework?"
"Two words: Pokemon Black."
Tadashi's eyes widen; his gaze darts toward Hiro before he leans closer, voice lowered, and says, "No way! I was going to take Hiro to buy it today, after school."
"It's pretty awesome," brags GoGo, unzipping her backpack and pulling out her DS. The beaded fish charm dangling from it swings tantalizingly under the yellow lights of the railcar. "So? Deal?"
Tadashi stares at her, contemplating; GoGo wills herself not to blink. Her eyes are watering by the time Tadashi finally loses their silent battle.
"Deal," he says, hurriedly unzipping his backpack. They make the trade, Tadashi's neatly kept notebook handed over in exchange for GoGo's sleek black DS. Tadashi's face lights up as the screen turns on, and GoGo rolls her eyes, opening up her journal in order to copy over Tadashi's work.
"I win," she can't resist gloating.
"Like usual," Tadashi grumbles, but his eyes don't leave the DS screen, and GoGo just smiles and shakes her head.
o.O.o
The classroom that day is abuzz as Kogara-sensei raises her chalk, ready for Sports Day sign-ups.
"We'll need four people for the relay," she starts, eyes sweeping around the room.
GoGo's heart thumps; she sneaks a glance toward the back corner, where Fujimoto and his friends sit. One, two, three. That's right; Hagiwara is in the other class, now, which means—I can have a spot.
Her heart sinks, however, when she notices Fujimoto make eye contact with Eguchi from across the room and give a single, slow nod. Eguchi straightens in his seat, infused with this approval as he raises his hand—
Beside her, Tadashi's arm rockets upward, but he doesn't even wait for Kogara-sensei to call on him before he blurts, "Leiko wants to do it!"
Kogara-sensei looks pleased; Eguchi does not.
"Is that right, Tanaka-san?" their teacher asks. "Would you like to be in the relay for our class?"
Fujimoto's expression is unreadable, and GoGo falters. Not because she's scared of him and his friends, but because she suddenly wonders whether she'll have as much fun running with them as she does running alone, shirt plastered to her back, the ground like a blur beneath her, as if she could take off at any moment.
Tadashi nudges her arm.
"Y-yes," says GoGo, finding her voice. "Yes, I want to race."
"Excellent." Kogara-sensei writes her name on the board. "Who else?"
Silence. The class is unsure what to do now that the usual order has been disturbed, and GoGo wants to escape out the window, away from the press of their curious stares. She isn't used to the attention and half wishes that Tadashi had kept his mouth shut, that he weren't so attuned to the secret thrumming of her heart.
"I'll do it," Tadashi says finally. "I'll race, too."
And then Fujimoto is volunteering and then it's janken pon for the last spot and GoGo slouches in her seat, relieved.
o.O.o
"I can't believe you volunteered me for the relay," says GoGo on their way home, kicking a stone across the sidewalk.
"Why not? You've wanted to do it since forever."
"Yeah, but." GoGo gnaws on her bottom lip. "It's the last event of the day. Everyone will be watching."
"So they'll get to see how freakishly fast you are," teases Tadashi.
GoGo scowls, bumping against him; he staggers sideways, protesting, "Hey! I'm your teammate; you're not supposed to injure me."
"Yeah, and what's up with that?" asks GoGo, squinting at him in the afternoon light. "You're not even that great at running."
"I guess we'll have to practice, then," says Tadashi.
An idea blooms in GoGo's mind. "Right." Grinning wickedly, she says, "Tag, you're it!" and takes off, the two of them whooping and laughing as they make their way to pick Hiro up from school.
o.O.o
GoGo reaches up to tighten her headband, her forehead sticky with sweat. The white tents set up on the side of the dirt field reflect the sunlight, and her stomach flutters excitedly as she takes in the number of bodies gathered under them and around the fence. It feels like her ten years have led to this: a triumphant show of speed in front of all her schoolmates.
Something cool taps her shoulder; GoGo turns to find Tadashi holding an energy drink out to her.
"Thanks," she says, twisting the cap off and taking a quick gulp.
"Hamada-san, Tanaka-san!" Fujimoto comes up behind them, clapping them both on the back. GoGo splutters. It's still weird, how affectionate Fujimoto is. For so long, he'd been the enigmatic ringleader at the back of the classroom, but GoGo quickly discovered that they had a lot in common, namely: a dependence on Pocari Sweat, sneakers whose soles saw entirely too much wear, and a fond exasperation with Tadashi's clumsiness.
The last item they did their best to fix with long hours after school practicing for the relay. The lineup has GoGo in the last spot, and the hand-off between her and Tadashi has to be perfect.
"Have you seen Sakaguchi?" asks Fujimoto.
"I think I saw him by the water jug," offers Tadashi.
"Ah, okay, I'll go grab him. You guys stay put," says Fujimoto, darting away.
Once he's gone, Tadashi nudges her arm. "So? How do you feel?"
GoGo sucks in a breath, letting it balloon her cheeks before she releases it. "Good. You?"
"I won't mess up, if that's what you're wondering," says Tadashi.
"Better triple knot your shoelaces, just in case," warns GoGo, but she smiles because she trusts Tadashi wholeheartedly.
They're going to win. She can feel it.
"Runners, get ready!"
Sakaguchi and Fujimoto meet them at the starting line as each class's contestants organize themselves. A thrill runs up GoGo's spine when she sees her name on the banner being unfurled from the sidelines.
And then the whistle is blown and there's so much to take in:
Sakaguchi stumbles, recovers—
Fujimoto with his head down, arms pumping, headband stark white against his black hair—
And there is Tadashi, growing closer, face red from exertion in the October sun. Her heart speeds up to see him approach, the baton gleaming in his hand. Their eyes meet and it's as if a tether has been established between them, as if he can hear her thoughts—faster, Tadashi, faster—his feet pulled to her by the force of their friendship, her will, the spaces fading between them as his hand slips into hers and she takes off, buoyed by hundreds of eyes watching, the slender rod in her hand, her pulse pounding in her ears and her best friend's gaze on her back, right between her shoulder blades, where she feels invincible wings sprouting—
She flies.
o.O.o
They're eleven when GoGo gets glasses.
She manages to avoid wearing them in class because she has a seat up front, but Tadashi finds her on the rooftop during lunch staring at the offending eyepieces.
"Hey," he says, plucking them from her lap before she can react.
She doesn't even bother fighting to get them back, just watches Tadashi turn the metal frames over in his hands.
"They're not that bad."
"I don't like them," GoGo complains. "They make me look…clunky."
It's not the right word, but it's the closest to how she feels. She's Leiko Tanaka, speed-runner extraordinaire; the glasses don't fit the hard-earned image she won during last year's Sports Day relay. Part of her knows it's a stupid thing to be worried about. Part of her still cares.
"And how do they make me look?" asks Tadashi, slipping them on without preamble. He sticks a tongue out at her, blinking owlishly, before pushing them up the bridge of his nose, trying to assume a deeper voice as he intones, "You like?"
"Don't you dare!" GoGo launches herself at him, pushing his shoulder. "Ew, ew, ew, no!"
Tadashi bats her hands away, laughing. He fell back on his elbows after GoGo's attack, but he pushes himself up now.
GoGo eases back on her heels to accommodate him. It's quiet, for a minute, just blue sky and the roof and her best friend studying her like she has the answers to tonight's math homework. (She definitely doesn't.)
"Look," Tadashi finally says, reaching up and placing the glasses on GoGo's face, their ends sliding through the hair right above her ears. He tilts his head, smile as crooked as his tie. "You're still cool, GoGo. With or without glasses."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
And then Tadashi is twisting around to unwrap his bento, dangling a piece of his spongy yellow omelet in front of her, a cheesy grin on his face as he sings, GoGo Tomago always taking my tamago and GoGo rolls her eyes and swipes the piece from him ("It's not my fault your mom makes the best eggs." "I know, I know. Here, you can have the rest.")
o.O.o
Years later, GoGo will remember this:
Clean-up duty, just the two of them in the classroom. A rag in her hand, a broom in Tadashi's. Chalk dust floating in the air between them, suspended, as the door slides open, as someone says—
"Hamada-san. It's your parents."
o.O.o
"Hey."
Tadashi looks up briefly but doesn't respond. He's still wearing his black suit from earlier, though the tie around his neck has been loosened.
GoGo leans her bike against the fence and goes to sit beside him on the stone steps, drawing her knees to her chest.
"How's Hiro?"
"Sleeping, finally." Tadashi rubs his eyes. "It's…a lot, for him to process."
"It'd be a lot for anyone."
Tadashi's throat bobs as he swallows, and GoGo is struck, suddenly, by the boyish jut of his Adam's apple, the thin line of his shoulders under his jacket. It's all so—small.
They're so young.
"You didn't change," Tadashi finally says in a watery voice, gesturing at her dress.
GoGo looks down at the thick black fabric of her skirt. She'd gone home after the funeral to eat dinner, but all the while she'd been thinking of Tadashi and Hiro, how they'd be at the crematorium—it takes an hour and a half to cremate an adult body, Hiro had told her, trying to disguise the tremble in his voice as a new discovery, some fun fact, and GoGo's insides had turned to splintered glass.
"Yeah," says GoGo. "It just…didn't seem right."
She wants to swallow her tongue immediately after—of course nothing seems right. Tadashi doesn't call her on it, though, and GoGo wishes that she could offer him more than this aching silence.
"Are you…" GoGo wets her lips, gathering courage. "Are you going to scatter their ashes, or bury them in the family grave?"
Tadashi rubs his hands against his pants, staring at the moonlit pebble by his shoe. "I don't know. Aunt Cass…Aunt Cass said that she'd handle it."
Aunt Cass. She'd always been Tadashi's "aunt from America." GoGo had finally met her at the wake; she'd been quieter than GoGo had come to expect from Hiro and Tadashi's stories. But then, they'd all been quieter, at the wake.
A sudden realization hits GoGo.
"Is she going to move here?"
Tadashi blinks. "I don't think so. She hasn't said anything about it."
"But then who's going to watch you and Hiro while you finish out school?"
Tadashi's lips thin as he presses them together. "I don't know. We haven't talked about it."
GoGo's heart beats fast. Aunt Cass is Hiro and Tadashi's next of kin. But if she doesn't stay, then that means Hiro and Tadashi will have to go, and—
"You could stay with me," she offers. "Hiro doesn't take up that much space, and besides, I don't mind sharing—"
"GoGo," Tadashi says, and his voice goes all sharp and sideways, like when you're chopping vegetables and the knife slips out of your control. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay," GoGo says, quieter. "Okay."
But it isn't. Because Tadashi's just lost his parents and she doesn't want him to lose himself, too. Doesn't want him to go somewhere he'll have to start over. Somewhere she won't be able to watch out for him. Somewhere he'll be alone.
"I just…" Tadashi stands up, taking a huge gulp of air. GoGo wants to tell him: you can cry in front of me—he did earlier, against her shoulder in the hospital; he did it again after the wake. But GoGo thinks that maybe Tadashi is too exhausted to cry anymore. "I appreciate you being here, GoGo, but it's getting late and I— I just need some space right now, okay?"
The seconds drag. And then GoGo stands up, too.
"All right," she says.
Tadashi is silent as he watches her swing a leg over her bike. GoGo looks over her shoulder at him as she gets ready to kick off, and her heart seizes on the image: her best friend as a solitary, stooped figure on a dimly lit street.
"You're sure?" she asks, one last time.
"Go home, GoGo." Tadashi flashes a weak smile, one hand on the gate. "I'll see you later."
"See you later, Tadashi," says GoGo.
It comes out sounding more like goodbye.
o.O.o
Years later, GoGo will remember this:
A week without any word from Tadashi or Hiro. The solitary walk to the metro. The empty desk in class. I just need some space right now, Tadashi had said, so GoGo honors it, trusting that he'll come find her when he's ready, that together, they'll move forward.
And then another week passes. Acceptance turns to worry. Friday afternoon, GoGo bikes to Tadashi's house.
Years later, GoGo will remember this:
Not a sign of life in the windows. No one coming to greet her at the gate. And, stealing over her, the sense that something is wrong, wrong, wrong.
The neighbor, Miss Okada, catching the stricken look on her face.
"Didn't you know, Tanaka-chan? They're gone."
o.O.o
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: September 9, 2012
Subject: Hey
Dear GoGo,
I know you're mad, but please hear me out.
That day…I swear I didn't know that we were moving yet. Aunt Cass told me and Hiro later, and I know I should have called, but there was so much to pack and I just never got around to it. Lame excuse, I know. And then we got here and I had to unpack, and figure out my new school, and stuff just piled up. And then I thought maybe it'd be better if I went a while without reaching out so that maybe you wouldn't be as angry when I finally got around to contacting you. In short, I'm a terrible friend, and I'll understand if you don't ever want to speak to me again.
But in case you don't completely hate me, I wanted to write to you. So much has happened in the past year! San Francisco is really nice. Aunt Cass has done her best to help Hiro and me settle in. It was a little rough the first few months honestly because Hiro was so far ahead in math and science that I think some of the kids gave him a hard time. Thank goodness he's a fast learner though. It's better now that he's picking up English. I think he'll be better at it than me, but Aunt Cass mostly speaks English in the house so who knows, soon I could be a pro, too. How are your English lessons going? Maybe we could practice with each other.
I've made a few friends, two guys named Fred and "Wasabi" (that's not actually his name but we went out to eat sushi and he got wasabi all over his sweater so now that's what Fred and I call him. So I guess I have two friends named after food, now :P) Mostly we play video games at Fred's house (it's huge!) and hang out at the library.
Once again, I'm sorry about not writing sooner. Forgive me?
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Draft Saved: September 10, 2012
RE: Hey
a whole year and you couldn't call me even once
I could never be mad at you
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: September 11, 2012
RE: Hey
nice to hear from you.
that sucks about Hiro. kids can be jerks. if I'd been with you I would have handled them no problem.
a lot has happened since you left. do you remember Aiko? long hair, super bubbly? she and I are friends now. it's funny because I never paid much attention to her before, but I got pretty lonely after you left (there, I said it. ha ha you can gloat). she's actually nice. she brings extra sweets to share with her bento. too bad you can't taste them through the computer screen, but I can promise you that they're delicious. sometimes she can be overwhelming though. she wants to die her hair all blond for her fourteenth birthday and thinks I should dye my hair too, but I don't know. the most I would do is a streak, maybe. what do you think, blue or purple?
-GoGo
P.S. you're forgiven. dummy.
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: September 17, 2012
RE: Hey
Dear GoGo,
Aiko! The one with the big glasses, right, kind of tall? I remember her (speaking of height, guess who's grown a few inches? The doctor says that I'll probably be 5'11"). That's good that you guys are friends. And does she actually bring extra sweets, or do you just steal food from her like you did with me? :P
What about Fujimoto and Sakaguchi? How are they doing?
I think you'd look good with a purple streak!
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: September 21, 2012
RE: Hey
yeah, that Aiko. no fair, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be stuck at 5 ft flat for the rest of my life, maybe 5'2" if I'm lucky.
also, I never stole, you offered !
Fujimoto and Sakaguchi are doing fine. Fujimoto's in my class. he's really intense about track and wants me to join, too. I think I might. it could be fun.
I'll send you a picture when I do my hair.
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: November 1, 2012
RE: Hey
Dear GoGo,
I'M TERRIBLE I can't believe it's been more than a month since I've written. Yesterday was so crazy! Aunt Cass took Hiro and me to buy costumes about two weeks ago. I couldn't really decide so I ended up just going as a doctor, but Hiro went as a knight, so he had a shield and sword and everything. Fred was Shaggy from Scooby Doo and Wasabi was Frankenstein.
Trick or treating was a bit weird at first. I felt kind of awkward going up to strangers' houses and ringing their doorbells to ask for candy, but Fred had this whole game plan of what houses we absolutely had to hit. One of the houses on his street gives out soda instead of candy, which sent Hiro over the moon.
I'm actually kind of exhausted because we stayed up until midnight going through our candy stashes and trading (and eating). I really regret all those Sour Patch Kids.
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: November 4, 2012
RE: Hey
while you were getting sick on candy, I was suffering from a fever and had to stay in bed (it was super boring). luckily I got better in time to help finish out with the culture day preparations. Aiko and I spent so much time with the decorations for our booth, I never want to touch a sheet of paper again because of how many paper cuts I got from folding and putting things up. but in the end it went really well. we had lots of visitors, and I even won a free manga from the raffle.
-GoGo
P.S. I got contacts
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: November 10, 2012
RE: Hey
Dear GoGo,
No, not the glasses! I bet it's better for sports though, so good for you!
I guess it's my turn to mention that I got braces…I even have to wear head gear at night :(
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: November 12, 2012
RE: Hey
ha. loser
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: November 18, 2012
RE: Hey
Dear GoGo,
I resent you gloating at my pain. It's actually super uncomfortable and I can't sleep on my side anymore. Plus one time Hiro hit me in the face while I was wearing it and it hurt so. much.
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: November 21, 2012
RE: Hey
woman up
-GoGo
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: January 1, 2013
Subject: Happy New Year!
Dear GoGo,
Happy New Year! I hope your holidays were good. We had apple cider last night and watched fireworks. It was great, although I don't think Mochi liked the noise much.
Mochi is our pet cat! Aunt Cass got him for us on Christmas. He's the cutest thing ever, even though he's kind of fat and has a habit of climbing onto the bed with me and stepping all over my homework papers. I'll send a picture of him with my next email.
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: January 5, 2013
RE: Happy New Year!
happy new year. the lights were gorgeous again. I had to clean the whole house like usual, but my mom made soba and we just stayed in as a family watching Kohaku Uta Gassen, and then we went to a shrine in the evening on the 1st. I actually woke up early that day (on accident) but it was just in time to catch the sunrise, which was amazing. it sounds kind of corny, but I have a good feeling about this year.
who named Mochi, you or Hiro? I'm super jealous.
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: January 15, 2013
RE: Happy New Year!
Dear GoGo,
I came up with the name, actually, since he's so squishy and white. Did I tell you that I joined the school robotics team? It's a lot of fun, although I'm starting to suspect that Hiro has more of a knack for it than I do. He made these rocket boots for Mochi the other day, which, let me tell you—poor cat! It was pretty hilarious though. Here are the pictures (sorry some of them are so blurry, haha)
[furball]
[zoomzoom]
[oops]
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: January 30, 2013
RE: Happy New Year!
ha ha poor cat, pretty sure that counts as animal abuse. have you read the latest Magi chapter? I won't spoil but you should hurry up because I have a LOT of thoughts!
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: February 12, 2013
Subject: Chocolate?
Dear GoGo,
That ending! I can't wait to see Aladdin unleash his full power, and the part with Titus made me emotional (T^T)
So Valentine's Day is coming up… gonna make chocolate for anyone special? :P
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: February 14, 2013
RE: Chocolate?
hello, have you forgotten who you're talking to? my home cooking skills are next to nonexistent (Aiko, on the other hand… I went over to her house the other day to watch her make hers and I swear she's crazy. I had some and just about died on the spot, it was so good.) I just got Fujimoto and Sakaguchi the standard giri choco. hope you aren't jealous (lol)
what about you?
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: March 18, 2013
Subject: Just Stuff
Dear GoGo,
Spring is in the air~
Aunt Cass, Hiro and I went and had a picnic today. The weather's been getting warmer, albeit only slightly, and there's still a bit of a chill when the fog rolls in. There's this new donut shop that opened up around the corner where they let you customize a box of a dozen with all these different glazes, toppings, you name it. I decided to make myself a maple bacon one and it actually wasn't half bad.
In answer to your Valentine's Day question from ages ago, I received two secret admirer notes and have yet to discover who they came from. Actually Valentine's Day was this huge deal at my school. We had all these "grams" that you could send each other. Basically the Valentine's Day committee would just barge into class to deliver balloons, candy, serenades… Fred's part of it and he dressed in a dinosaur costume and performed a personalized dance for everyone who got sent a Dino-gram. It was a lot, but pretty hilarious.
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: March 21, 2013
RE: Just Stuff
are there any cherry blossoms close to where you guys are? we had the earliest blooming season this year, they say because temperatures were higher than usual. a bunch of us got together in the park for the night viewing. I took a lot of pictures so you can see.
sounds like you've got quite the rep. can't imagine what anyone would see in a scrub like you (jk, you're OK) don't make fun of me, but I think that I might be developing a bit of a crush on Fujimoto. ugh that's so weird to even write. I can't put my finger on it and you're the only one I've told because Aiko would make a fuss, and I don't want that because it isn't serious or anything.
[cherryb_1]
[cherryb_2]
[grouppic_1]
[grouppic_2]
[funny]
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: May 3, 2013
Subject: Hair
as promised
[newhair]
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: May 5, 2013
RE: Hair
It looks great! :) Very…badass ;)
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: May 7, 2013
RE: Hair
omg you're such a nerd STOP
-GoGo
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: May 9, 2013
RE: Hair
I WAS TRYING TO PAY YOU A COMPLIMENT, JEEZ
-Tadashi
To: GoGo Tomago
From: Tadashi Hamada
Sent: August 22, 2013
Subject: High School
Dear GoGo,
Man, summer really flew by! Our national-park-tour-road-trip-extravaganza was a lot of fun, even though I feel bad that Aunt Cass had to drive the whole time. And I do have to admit that getting nearly eaten alive by mosquitoes was not the highlight. But the views were gorgeous, and there's nothing like a few days of being covered in dirt and sweat to make you appreciate a nice, cool shower. Did you get my postcard?
I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my permit, although it's sort of scary to think that that's coming up sooner than I thought. Can you believe we're going to be high schoolers? You probably think this is weird, but sometimes I get these waves where I just really miss my uniform. You'll have to send me pictures of the new ones.
I'm excited for my classes, although I'm not super excited about having to figure out my way around a new school all over again. Thank goodness I'll be with Fred and Wasabi. I'm taking World History, Algebra II, Biology, English, French, and an extra lab science course, so we'll see how everything goes!
Thanks so much for keeping in touch all this time. No matter what these next four years bring, I'm glad that I still have you.
-Tadashi
To: Tadashi Hamada
From: GoGo Tomago
Sent: August 25, 2013
RE: High School
yeah. me too.
-GoGo
o.O.o
Kyoto Station is packed, the shhhh of the Shinkansen gliding to a stop echoing through the building, the squeak of shoes treading the floors. GoGo feels a little ridiculous in the middle of it all, bearing her huge sign, but it's what they agreed upon, beforehand. A little joke. A welcome home.
Even though "home" hasn't been Japan for at least five years, now, but that's how Tadashi had phrased it in his email: Good news! I'm thinking of coming back to Japan for the summer. Hiro has robotics camp so it'll give me a chance to travel a little bit on my own before meeting up with him and Aunt Cass later, probably in Tokyo. Besides, I remember more than he does, anyways. I think it'll be a good experience, something nice to do before senior year. Coming home. Seeing how everything's changed.
He'd been prepared to put himself up in a youth hostel, but the minute GoGo's parents had gotten wind of the plan, they'd offered up their place instead. 2 weeks, a futon and food, in exchange for some help around the house (her dad's request) and the loveliness of getting reacquainted with the awkward gangly boy with the too-big ears who had left them years earlier (her mom's demand). As for GoGo, well. She's getting her childhood friend back. That's enough.
Still, the nerves are there. They haven't seen each other, not really. Despite Skype being an option, no one had ever really put it on the table, and so it's been emails throughout and, well, Tadashi knows what she looks like but she's still short and what if he can't find her and—
"GoGo?" The voice comes from behind her. Deeper than expected, with a hint of an American accent.
GoGo turns. "Tadashi?"
His face lights up. "GoGo!" he says, this time with more certainty, and then he's stepping forward, releasing the handle of his suitcase in order to bring her into a hug.
He smells fresh. The thought that he must have taken the time to clean up, somewhere between getting off the plane in Tokyo and hopping onboard the bullet train to come straight here, does something funny to her stomach. He's…taller than she thought he'd be, with broader shoulders. Awkwardly, she pats his back, stepping away.
It takes a minute to find the old Tadashi in this new boy's features. He's grown into his ears, for one, and his hair flops over his forehead, more stylish than the disastrous bowl cut of their early years. But the same bright grin is there, just a little lopsided, and that's enough to set things right.
GoGo takes a deep breath.
"What did they feed you over there?" she asks, poking one of his biceps.
Tadashi laughs. "Good to see you again, too," he says, and suddenly they're ten years old again, Tadashi following her down the path away from his house.
GoGo's stomach settles.
o.O.o
Dinner is louder with another person at the table. Her mom keeps spooning more food onto Tadashi's plate, and her dad wants to know all about the States. Sports teams, college plans—local, probably, says Tadashi, and there's maybe a twinge of disappointment there, that he won't be coming back, but GoGo smothers it quickly.
"You still speak Japanese," her mom comments, approving.
Tadashi ducks his head, the tips of his ears turning red. "Yes. It's a little rusty though, but I'm hoping most of it will come back with time."
Her father hmms and Tadashi meets her eyes across the table, winks. After dinner, they help her parents clean up, before her mother ushers her father out to the living room to watch some TV, a brief look cast over her shoulder.
"I guess I should…remind you where everything is," Gogo says, resisting the urge to flutter her hands—a bad habit she's started to pick up from Aiko.
Tadashi is busy looking around the kitchen, a wondering expression in his eyes. "It's just like I remembered it," he says. His eyes steal toward her. "Do you still have all those Hello Kitty posters in your room?"
"I—no!" splutters GoGo, pushing him out of the kitchen. It's harder to manhandle him than it was in the past, and Tadashi doesn't make it any easier on her, leaning back with his weight. Still, she manages to maneuver him to their single spare room, where the futon has already been laid out.
"You can keep all your stuff in here," she says, depositing a folded blanket in his hands.
Tadashi accepts it. There's an awkward pause, afterwards—she's not sure whether to stay or go, what's left to be said.
Tadashi fills it for her. He's always been good at that: picking up where she drops off.
"Thanks, GoGo. I'll see you in the morning."
"See you in the morning," GoGo agrees.
o.O.o
Frowning, GoGo rolls the toothpaste tube even tighter, trying to squeeze the last of its contents onto her toothbrush. The result emerges as a sad-looking lump of white paste; she shrugs, sticking it in her mouth. Good enough. As she rubs circles over her molars, she leans forward to fix her hair in the mirror, jolting when the door swings open and almost hits her.
"Oh! Sorry!" Tadashi retreats immediately.
GoGo catches the door before it can close all the way. Tadashi has swiveled around, eyes trained studiously toward the ceiling.
"'S fine," she says around her mouthful. Turning around, she spits in the sink before rinsing out her mouth, then reaches to pull the door open wider. "I was just brushing my teeth."
"Right," says Tadashi, clutching his bag of toiletries. "Can I—er—"
GoGo rolls her eyes. "We can share the space, you know."
Tadashi nods, pushing his fingers through his hair. It makes the tufts stick up all over the place. GoGo slides over to give him more sink space, reaching over to grab her moisturizer. Maneuvering with an extra person is a bit awkward at first—GoGo's out of her comfort zone, being an only child—but Tadashi doesn't give her a hard time when she accidentally bumps his elbow.
As he bends over to splash his face, she gets a better view of his bag's contents.
"Is that hair gel?" Before he can react, she snatches it up, reading the label. "Tadashi, you dork."
"Hey!" Tadashi makes a grab for it. "I get bad hat hair otherwise, okay? It keeps everything in place!"
She dodges his arm, untwisting the cap. Upon getting a whiff, she wrinkles her nose. "God, that's strong. How did I not smell it on you yesterday?"
"Give it back!" Tadashi says, this time more desperate, but a grin threatens to crack his façade. He blocks the doorway, leaving GoGo few options for escape. But GoGo's never been the one to give in; she clutches the tube closer to her chest, turning her body away.
"You can't play keep-away with me, I'm taller than you," says Tadashi, as if that proves anything. Next thing she knows, arms engulf her from behind, trying to pry the hair gel out of her hands.
"Tadashi!" GoGo squirms, manages to bring a foot down on top of his and drive an elbow into his side. Dirty moves, maybe, but she's got five years of self-defense under her belt. Tadashi yelps and releases his hold, rubbing his side as he turns toward her.
"I win," GoGo says, smug, before placing the bottle back in his bag.
Tadashi rolls his eyes. "Like usual."
Some things don't change.
o.O.o
She rediscovers Kyoto through Tadashi's eyes: in the way he turns his head slightly at every wooden shrine they pass, how he lingers at crosswalks, soaking in the skyline. At the junction of Shijo and Kawaramachi, Shinkyogoku's covered shopping arcade comes into view, paper lanterns and banners hanging from the beams overhead.
"GoGo!" Aiko bursts out of the crowd of shoppers milling about, long honey-blonde dyed hair streaming behind her. The pink bangles on her wrist clack against each other as she throws her arms around GoGo. GoGo, who has become used to her friend's energy by now, barely budges, absorbing the force of the embrace.
"What took you so long?"
GoGo gestures to Tadashi. "Aiko, this is Tada—Hamada-san," she catches herself.
Tadashi holds out his hand. "Remind me of your surname?"
"It's fine," Aiko says, waving one of her hands and reaching out to shake Tadashi's with the other. "You can just call me Aiko."
"Oh." Tadashi relaxes. "You might as well call me Tadashi, then. It's what I'm used to, now."
Aiko smiles approvingly, eyes sparkling. "Are you two hungry?"
"A little," GoGo admits.
"Ooh, goody, let's get crepes then!"
Tadashi's eyes light up. "I haven't had a good crepe in a while. Let's do it."
As they walk, Aiko keeps up the chatter, grilling Tadashi with questions about high school and San Francisco, Aunt Cass and Hiro. She asks him about his favorite things to do, delighting in the fact that Tadashi is also a science nerd. And honestly, GoGo should have expected it sooner rather than later, knowing how shameless her friend is, but she still goes rigid when Aiko prods: "Are you dating anyone?"
"Aiko!" GoGo hisses, inexplicably embarrassed on Tadashi's behalf.
"What?" Aiko pretends innocence, her arm looped through GoGo's. "I'm just curious."
They've reached the crepe shop. Tadashi hasn't answered, yet; maybe he didn't hear after all. Eventually, though, he says: "No."
It's not a particularly momentous declaration or anything. Right on the heels of it, Tadashi bends over to consider his crepe options. GoGo can't see his face, but she'd bet it's unruffled, and yet. Relief surges through her, disproportionate to the news she's received.
"One matcha and one strawberry cheesecake," Tadashi tells the cashier, straightening, before he freezes and turns toward GoGo, lips parting in apology. "I'm sorry, I ordered without thinking, I don't even know if you still—"
Summer weekends, when their parents trusted them enough to send them off with yen in their pockets, to use as they wished. The matcha crepe always came with two pieces of chocolate, nestled in the dark green ice cream and balanced by a flower of strawberries, bananas, and whipped cream. GoGo's strawberry cheesecake order stocked itself with a scoop of soft pink strawberry ice cream, drizzled with syrup and dotted with blueberries, raspberries, and cheesecake chunks. Two wafer straws sticking out of the top. Two, two. Easy to split, to share.
"No," says GoGo, and her heart does something funny in her chest. "That's exactly right."
o.O.o
Two weeks. Time enough to fall into certain routines: fighting over the TV, late night convenience store runs, washing the dishes side by side. GoGo gets used to seeing Tadashi's hair products mingled with hers around the bathroom sink. Finds out that Tadashi wears reading glasses, calls him old man in the early hours of the morning, when the clock glows 2:00 AM but neither of them wants to call it quits yet, and instead they fall asleep together on the couch, heads bent close but not touching.
Two weeks. Two weeks that dwindle too quickly, not enough to make up for the five years that separated them.
It's early August when the rain catches them. Flipping up his hood, Tadashi shoots her an I told you so look. GoGo makes a face at him, just as another drop hits her on the nose. Soon enough, the two of them are running, hoping to reach shelter before the drizzle becomes a downpour.
They're only a few blocks from her house, chasing down a side street, when she remembers—too late. The houses blend familiar: squat with slate gray roofs, glistening wet. Wooden fence.
Her breath catches. Tadashi stops.
His family's house stands amidst the rain. Someone else's laundry hanging from the clothesline, now soaked. Somebody else's sandals on the porch, just inside the bolted gate. A relic from the past, worn smooth by time—just recognizable enough to reawaken something, just different enough to be heartbreaking.
"Come on," GoGo says softly, tugging Tadashi's sleeve. The rain-slick fabric crinkles under her touch. "We'll both catch a cold if we stay out."
Tadashi moves slowly, like shaking himself out of a dream. They find some other awning to huddle under, a porch step on which to wait out the worst of it. GoGo makes herself as small as possible, drawing her knees close; Tadashi sits down heavily beside her, staring into space.
And here she is again, losing him to the silence, to the secret corner of himself that he'd always retreated to when they were younger. She should leave him alone. Let the bones of the past stay buried. But GoGo is cold and wet and tired of pretending that Tadashi didn't take a piece of her with him when he disappeared.
"Do you want to…talk about it?"
"There's not much to say."
"There are memories. Things you miss about them."
"I miss a lot of things, GoGo," Tadashi exhales. "It comes and goes. It's just something you learn to live with."
Something in his tone rubs her the wrong way. An implication, maybe, that she doesn't know what that feels like. And perhaps she doesn't feel it in the same way Tadashi does—who can tell the degree to which anyone else experiences something? But it doesn't hurt any less, the circle he's drawn around himself, and GoGo thinks, fiercely: I know what it's like to miss someone so much it hurts. I miss you right now and you're sitting next to me.
"I was mad at you for a long time, you know," she finally admits.
The words hit. Tadashi stiffens, slightly, but doesn't respond. Waits for the rest of her verdict. The rain has worsened, falling in sheets, almost as if the weather senses the outpouring to come.
"I know it's selfish. What you were going through—I can't even imagine. But then you just—left, without saying anything, you didn't even leave a voicemail at least trying to explain, it was like there was just you and your family and that's all that mattered. And it's—it's fair, I tried to tell myself that, but there was this other part of me that kept asking: what about me? I know how much they meant to you, Tadashi. I loved your mom and dad, too. And you and I, we were best friends, and I kept thinking, didn't six years mean anything?"
She hates how small her voice has become. The storm has picked up wind, now, and the raindrops blow slantwise, prickling her face and her bare arms, dampening her toes. She wishes she'd brought an umbrella. She wishes she could stop talking, but Tadashi is here now, real, not some nebulous figment from her childhood on the other end of a computer screen. These are the things that never made it through in their emails. Hurt is too broad for binary, and the absence of someone, GoGo realizes, is not as simple as 0 or 1, here or not here.
"We were only twelve. I knew I wasn't going to be able to magically make everything okay again. But I thought—I wanted us to try. Together."
Trying to ward off the chill that has settled onto her skin, she wraps her arms around herself. She's ruined it all now, probably. Tadashi won't yell at her—he's too nice for that—but she might as well have delivered a death sentence to whatever easy friendship has existed between them for the past week and a half. They'll finish up the rest of his stay as casual housemates and he'll go back overseas and they can both mark this as a chapter of their childhood. The page turned, the case closed. Fade to background; move on with their lives.
In the minute it takes GoGo to make peace with this, Tadashi scoots closer, holding his jacket up over the both of them.
"Are," he says, voice rough at the edges, and she doesn't need to look to know that his cheeks are wet, too.
"What?" Shivering, GoGo lets herself sink against him, tries to get as much of her body under their makeshift cover as possible.
"You said that we were best friends," says Tadashi, and if she closes her eyes she can imagine that they're nine years old again, wrapped in the same blanket, the scent of warm broth wafting from the kitchen. "We still are."
o.O.o
Somebody is shaking her knee.
"Mmph," GoGo groans, rolling over. She kicks her leg, but the insistent weight doesn't leave. Grumpily, she opens her eyes, enough to discern Tadashi's silhouette in the darkness.
She glances at her clock, then does a double-take, sitting up.
"Tadashi, what the hell, it's five in the morning."
"I know." He runs a hand through his hair. "But listen, GoGo, I just had an idea."
"At five in the morning," GoGo reiterates.
"We should go back to school."
"To junior high?"
"Not to class or anything, just the building. Watch the sunrise from the roof. I don't know, I'm leaving tomorrow, so I just thought it'd be kind of…poetic." He rubs the back of his neck.
A beat. And then Tadashi dangles the real bait.
"It might involve some breaking and entering," he offers.
GoGo stares at him.
"I can't believe anyone ever thought you were the model child," she finally says, and, in the same breath, decides, "Let's do it."
o.O.o
The early morning train slides quietly over the tracks, the car rattling gently from side to side as GoGo and Tadashi sit, anticipating their stop. Tadashi's knee bounces once, twice—GoGo puts a hand on it to still him.
"God, you are the worst," she says. "Keep your cool, Hamada."
"Sorry."
They get off while the sky still holds a deep blue, though it's beginning to give way to the first few rays of gold. The old gate comes into view, though smaller and less imposing than she remembers it, and GoGo makes short work of one of the windows, shooting Tadashi a dirty look when he whistles, impressed.
"Don't hit your head," she offers helpfully as he squeezes through right after her.
"I won't—ow!" Tadashi straightens out too soon, rubbing the back of his head as he stands up.
Silently, the two of them sweep their gazes around the room. The desks laid out in neat rows, the chalkboard pristine, ready for the coming day. Memories hang in the air, like particles of dust: passing notes across the aisle, Sports Day, a baton catching the sunlight, her shoes kicking up dirt.
GoGo clears her throat. "Hey, Tadashi?"
He turns toward her. "Yeah?"
"Race you to the roof."
They run.
o.O.o
Tadashi beats her to the top, mostly because his long legs allow him to take the stairs two at a time.
"You've lost your touch," he says, hunched over and panting, and GoGo jumps onto him as payback. Tadashi staggers under her weight but quickly adjusts, hooking his arms around the back of her knees to keep her in place, laughing when she gives him a noogie.
"You're messing up my hair!"
"Serves you right," GoGo says.
"Okay, I'm putting you down," Tadashi warns; GoGo slides off his back, feet hitting the concrete.
She drops onto the single wooden bench, tilting her head back to look at the sky. Tadashi joins her, the side of his leg pressing against hers. Tips his head back to look up, too. In the distance, the first blush of pink begins to seep toward the clouds.
"Do you think you'll ever come back?" GoGo asks. "For good?"
Tadashi shifts. "I don't know. I want to work in health and robotics, so wherever that takes me is where I'll go." He bumps her shoulder. "You could come to the States, you know. For grad school, maybe. Then it would be my turn to play the host."
The thought makes her smile. "Yeah. I could."
And then Tadashi does something unexpected. Reaches between them to find her hand, lacing their fingers together. GoGo blinks, too startled to pull away.
"GoGo," he says, those warm brown eyes fixed on her face, and it's like they're back in Kogara-sensei's classroom, all those years ago, when Tadashi knew what she was too afraid to say and volunteered them for the relay. Like even after all this time, he's still the person who sees her best. "I just want to make sure you know: no matter where we do end up, you're always going to be important to me."
"And in the meantime…" he trails off, squeezing her hand. "I like where I am right now."
The sunrise has finally blossomed fully across the sky, oranges and pinks casting a warm glow. The beginning of a new day. They're seventeen—too young to be making lifelong promises, maybe, too uncertain of what the future holds—but GoGo remembers being ten and invincible, running so fast she felt like she could fly.
She squeezes Tadashi's hand in return. Lays her head on his shoulder.
It's enough.
"Me, too."