Bad Author Notes:

You can thank Runecutter for inspiring this final chapter

365 days later…

"Quite a haul there, pup," Sirius looked down at the pile of Halloween candy Harry had poured out on the floor.

Smiling Harry looked up at his godfather. "It was fun. Mrs. Watson said I was the handsomest wizard she had seen all day."

Sirius chuckled as he sat down. "Well you do take after your dad when it comes to looks," he reached down and took a piece of candy from the pile. "He was a handsome man but he only had eyes for your mum."

Reaching across the pile of candy, Harry plucked the piece of candy out of Sirius's hand. "That's my favorite."

"Mine too," Sirius stated with a pout.

Harry looked at Sirius and then handed the candy back to his godfather. "But only one!" he stated firmly.

"Of course," Sirius started to unwrap the candy.

"And no sneaking another piece," Harry told him.

"I would never…." Sirius started to say before trailing off under Harry's glare. "Can I have the candy that's not your favorite?"

Harry nodded his head and began sorting the candy into two piles while Sirius watched and occasionally took a piece from the less favorite pile.

After Harry finish sorting the candy, he started stuffing his favorites back in the pillowcase he had used for trick or treat.

"Go change into your pajamas so we can watch the Charlie Brown Halloween special," Sirius gathered up the other pile of candy.

"Okay," Harry raced up the stairs to his room, his trick or treat bag in his hand.

Harry came back down a few minutes later in his Spiderman pajamas and settled on the couch next to his godfather so they could watch the cartoon together.

When the credits on the cartoon started to roll, Sirius asked. "So what did you think, pup?"

"Where were Linus' parents? Didn't they notice that he didn't come home?" Harry asked, slightly upset for the boy. "Don't they care about him?"

With one arm, Sirius pulled Harry close to him. "I don't know, pup. Remember this is a cartoon, only a story. I'm sure that they were some place watching over him."

"They're not very good parents," Harry mumbled to himself.

"I would never leave you outside alone like that, pup," Sirius kissed the top of Harry's head. "Or rather I wouldn't at least until you're old enough and ask me to do so. Of course I'll be hiding not far away, watching over you at least the first few times."

Harry nodded his head, accepting Sirius' reassurance that he would never be alone like Linus. "I did like Snoopy."

"And his flying dog house," Sirius grinned. "Think we should build one for me when I'm Padfoot?"

Harry thought about it for a minute before shaking his head. "There is no room for me, so I couldn't go with you."

"You're right." Sirius agreed "It's looks like dog houses are a one person flyer; not like my motorcycle."

"Maybe a two person dog house," Harry yawned.

"Maybe," Sirius said with a smile, "But I think it's time for you to go to bed. You've had a long day."

"But I'm not tired," Harry yawned again.

"I know but it is still bed time," Sirius got off the couch and picked Harry up.

"Ok," Harry mumbled snuggling into Sirius's arms. "You'll stay out of my candy?"

"Of course, Marauder's promise," Sirius replied as he carried Harry to bed.

Once Harry was fast asleep in his bed, Sirius went back downstairs.

"Well I didn't expect you to move to some place like this," James commented as he slowly appeared in Sirius's favorite chair.

"And what's wrong with it?" Sirius growled at the spirit of his best friend. "And why are you only showing up now, instead of when Harry was awake? And where is Lily?"

"One, it's the middle of nowhere western Pennsylvania and it's snowing right now. It's snowing on Halloween," James pointed towards the window. "Two, we had other people to visit."

"And three, I'm right behind you," Lily answered as walked past Sirius. "I was checking on Harry. My baby grown so much this past year."

"I was hoping you would appear earlier so Harry could see you," Sirius sat down on the couch he had shared earlier with Harry.

Lily shook her head as she sat on the arm of the chair James was in. "Not yet. Harry has some more healing to do before we can become a part of his life. I don't think he would understand right now why we can only visit once a year. When he gets older then we can visit."

"Besides we really did have some other people to visit like Dumbledore and Pet and her husband," James added in with a twinkle in his eyes.

"And how is that devil?" Sirius asked with a growl.

"Rather upset that he can't find you and Harry or get the Aurors to do so for him," Lily answered.

"Good," Sirius said with a firm nod of his head. "Hopefully if he does convince the Ministry to track us down, my contacts will let us know."

"I don't think he'll have much luck with that," James stated. "His reputation has became a little tarnished over this past year. He's no longer the so called guiding light of the wizard world."

"That's not saying he still doesn't have his followers," Lily pointed out.

"There will always be sheep who will follow anyone," Sirius shook his head.

"Speaking of sheep, we checked up on Remus while we were out," James said.

"How did you jump from sheep to Remus?" Lily demanded looking down at her husband.

"Big bad wolf," James answered with a grin.

"You visited Remus before Harry and me," Sirius said a slight pout.

"Sirius, have you forgotten that London is five hours ahead of you," Lily pointed out.

"Maybe," Sirius answered. "So how is the old wolf doing?"

Lily and James shared a look.

"What is it?" Sirius growled when he saw the looked that passed between the couple. "What wrong with Remus."

"He's feeling guilty for believing in Dumbledore and not supporting you," James answered. "Then add in how the magical community treats those with lycanthropy."

"So he's pretty much in a mental hell-hole version of Azkaban without any Dementors," Sirius concluded.

Lily and James nodded their heads.

Sirius didn't respond right away but looked up towards the ceiling in the direction of Harry's bed. "Do you know why I chose this place?"

The Potters shook their heads.

"Because Dumbledore will never look here," Sirius answered. "There is no magical community. No magical constructions. Nothing. It's the middle of nowhere."

"And if Remus moved here, it would attract attention," Lily concluded, figuring things out.

Sirius nodded his head. "Each full moon would be a chance for Dumbledore or anyone else to find Harry. That's not saying I'm leaving Remus in that hellhole. Between my family estates and yours he can travel around the world for years."

"A Judas goat," James chimed in. "While he's not leading them to a slaughter, he is leading them astray."

"Exactly. And he only has to do so until Harry starts wizard school," Sirius pointed out.

"And it will not be Hogwarts, Beauxbatons or any European school," Lily put in firmly.

"That never crossed my mind," Sirius replied. "There are three schools of magic in North America. I've been deciding on which one.

"Not Salem," The tone of Lily's voice implied death would follow if Sirius disagreed. "Snotty little bitches," she said softly.

James and Sirius shared a look. "Two schools to choose from," Sirius said.

"Two schools," James echoed back with a smirk. "So besides being in the middle of nowhere, why here?"

"The Goldilocks syndrome," Sirius answered.

"Goldilocks syndrome?" James replied.

"The summers aren't too hot and the winters aren't… well they're cold but they're not bitterly cold," Sirius explained. "Do you know what it's like to run around as Padfoot in the middle of summer in some places? It's like climbing into an oven and being slowly roasted alive. At least here it's not as bad. A bit warmer than London but manageable."

"You could always shave yourself like a poodle," Lily suggested with an evil smirk.

Sirius said nothing but raised his hand to give Lily a two finger salute.

"Hey! That's my job," James said in mock outrage.

"James!" Lily replied in outrage as she smacked him in the shoulder.

"For better or for worst, James. You swore it," Sirius pointed out.

"And I never regretted it," James pulled Lily down for a kiss.

"And there they go again," Sirius sighed. "And here I am once again talking to himself. So how you been, Sirius? I've been good. My health is improving and I'm almost back to a healthy weight since we moved here. How's Harry doing? He's good. He's really opened up since we moved here. He's been able to charm cookies out of a neighbor lady. She's more or less adopted both of us. Makes sure that we're eating well and adjusting the living in the States."

Lily and James finally ended their kiss as they stared into to each other eyes; their foreheads pressed together.

"And they're' back," Sirius said in a bored tone.

"I'm sorry. Did you say something?" James asked in confusion as he realized that they weren't alone.

"Nope. Not a word," Sirius replied. "So who else did you visit or was it just Remus?"

"No. We stopped in to visit my sister and her husband," Lily replied with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Ahhhh. And have they recovered from their mysterious ailment?" Sirius asked.

"No," Lily sadly wiped away a non-existent tear. "I'm afraid they'll be suffering a relapse."

"All the hard work the doctors and nurse have put in… all gone," James added in. "They might even title a new ailment after them."

"And what about your nephew… Portley?" Sirius asked

"Dudley," Lily corrected. "We have to wait and see if Vernon's sister or he suffer the same mysterious disease."

"The kid is a bit of a brat and his aunt is feeding into it," James stated. "If things don't improve this year then I'm thinking that she'll suddenly comes down with the same illness as her brother. Maybe someone will take him in and teach what it takes to be a decent human being."

Lily smiled in agreement. "Petunia and I did promise our parents that we would look after each other. What type of sister would I be if I didn't extend that promise to my nephew?"

"I can't image they're very pleased with all this," Sirius said with a grimace.

"Daddy did say that Petunia deserved a good spanking," Lily replied.

"They seems quite pleased that Pet and her husband can't corrupt their grandsons anymore," James added in. "Mrs. Evans has taken a liking to you. She says you'll be a good father to Harry and to any children you ever have."

Sirius grimaced at James's words. "Yeah… ummm…. Few nights ago… Umm… Harry…" Sirius said slightly nervously.

"Called you daddy," James said with a sad smile. "I know. And it's okay. It's a good thing. It means that Harry feels safe with you and after what he's gone through that's a good thing."

"Doesn't make it right," Sirius admitted.

"Look on the bright side. At least Harry isn't calling Snivellus daddy," James pointed out.

Sirius shivered in horror.

"He wasn't that bad until he fell in with Lucy's crowd," Lily pointed out. "Of course your pranking him all the time didn't help either."

"In our defense, he gave as good as he got," James pointed out. "Beside we didn't prank him all the time."

"Only when he reminded me of my family," Sirius chimed in. "Or as the Yanks say, 'he has a stick so far up his ass that you can see it when he talks.' Speaking of Lucy and his crowd… is anything being done about them. Figure there would be enough victims who want a bit of justice."

"Some," Lily answered. "Unfortunately most of them hide behind wards that block out spirits on this night but recently one of the victim figured out the ultimate revenge."

"And what is that?" Sirius asked when Lily didn't explain.

"What do pureblood value more than their pure blood?" Lily asked.

"Good food. Good wine. Good looks. Being able to say you're better than anyone else," Sirius answered.

"And what does it take to get the good food, good wines and good looks?" Lily asked, an evil smile appearing on her face.

Sirius thought for a moment. "Money."

Lily's grin went from evil to vicious. "Did you know that as a spirit you can file a suit with the goblins for an unauthorized death against the person or persons who killed you? Gringotts will then freeze the alleged murderer's account until the whole matter is sorted out."

"Which requires a trial and since the Ministry excused Malfoy and his cronies of their crimes, there can't be a trial," James explained.

"And the goblins won't release the accounts," Sirius sounded awed at the simplicity of it. "That's perfect! How long can the goblins keep everything tied up?"

"Years," Lily answered, "or at least until the defendants pass away."

"And at that point, they'll get what they deserve," James said.

"Couldn't happen to a better group of prats," Sirius said. "Just wish they would have to face justice while they were still alive. I'm sure the Dementors would have welcomed them with open arms and a big wet kiss."

"Can't disagree with you on that," James replied.

"They would probably give the Dementors heart burn," Lily mumbled to herself, "if they have hearts."

"I'm pretty sure they don't have any," Sirius replied. "And speaking of heartless… There is something I need to know."

"What's that?" James asked.

"The Dursley's," Sirius replied salumly. "I need to know they are being punished for what they did. That they are not just stuck in… a coma; not knowing what's going on around them. That is not really being punished for what they did to Harry."

"Oh trust me, they are," James replied with an evil chuckle.

"The spell doesn't just keep them locked in their minds but it also… I guess you could say it plays the 'What if' game with them," Lily explained.

"What if?" Sirius echoed back.

"What if, Dudley was born a wizard. What if Harry had died that night and Voldemort lived. What if they had treated Harry as family instead of what they did," Lily explained.

Sirius shook his head. "What if doesn't sound so bad."

"What if their son was born a wizard and they treated him like they treated Harry," James asked with an evil smirk.

"So it's a mix of Heaven and Hell. Heaven if they were never forced to take in Harry and their lives were as normal as normal can be," Sirius stated. "Hell, if their son had magic."

"Oh there are more levels of hell than that for them," Lily said with a smile, "And they get to experience every one of them multiple times until the realized what they did to Harry or die."

"And then they'll have to face their final judgement," James added in.

"With luck maybe they'll realize the truth about what they did," Sirius sounded solemn. "My brother did."

Lily shook her head. "Your brother attempted to make amends; my sister never did. I don't know if I can ever forgive her for what she did to my baby boy."

"And this had gotten depressing," James commented. Looking up at Lily he asked, "Did I tell you about the time this old dog nearly got neutered?"

"Oh no! If you bring that up, I'll bring up that time we meet that buck in the forbidden forest and how you two got in a fight," Sirius countered with a grin.

"How about the time you attempted to lick your own balls," James replied.

"That was Remus, not me," Sirius snapped out. "You need your eyes checked. "

"Remember the time that Remus ended up with a case of fleas," James said with a chuckle.

"Is that the time all of the boys' dorm had to magically bug bombed?" Lily asked.

"No, I think that was before that," James replied.

"How about the spiders in the girls' dorm," Sirius wiggled his eyes brows.

"You did that!" Lily said in outrage as she looked down at her husband. "Why did you do that? There where spiders everyplace! In our beds. In the showers! Everyplace!"

"It wasn't me!" James quickly held up his hands as if to ward off any attacks.

"He's telling the truth," Sirius chimed in as he sat on the couch with a smug smile. "Peter actually released them before they were ready."

"Ready for what?" Lily turned to Sirius; her eyes narrowing.

"It was Peter's idea. He just got impatient," James put in.

Lily turned back to James and said, "What idea? What prank were you planning?"

"Peter came up with idea to use the spiders as spies. To see through their eyes," Sirius said. "In our defense, we never planned on using them in the girls' dorm."

James nodded his head quickly. "We were going to release them everyplace. Have spies in the other houses, all the offices… everyplace."

"And then Mary Ann turned Peter down when he asked her to go to Hogsmeade," Sirius added in. "So he decided to use the spiders as a bit of payback. Which we all agreed was wrong."

"And what role did you two play in this?" Lily growled.

"Remus did the research. Sirius and I did most of the spell work, but we weren't having much luck with it," James explained. "And Peter was going to distribute them since he could get in some places we couldn't."

"And you swear you weren't planning on placing them in the girls' dorm," Lily demanded.

"McGonagall would have our balls if we did," Sirius said firmly. "When we learned what that rat did, we destroyed all the receiving mirrors and all our notes."

James nodded his head. "Peter swore it was an accident but during my bachelor party, which we will not talk about," James gave Sirius a pointed glare, "he confessed what he did and why."

Sirius nodded his head in agreement. "Of course we were pretty drunk then… and there was a stripper, a crumple-horned snorkack and blue jelly or was it called Jell-O?"

"It was Jell-O because we were in that place were what happens in that place. Stays in that place," James said. "Remember that Sirius. It stays in that place."

"So what else happened there, Sirius," Lily said in a charming tone of voice.

"Well…"

"We swore! Remember we swore not to tell," James said quickly. "Marauder's honor."

"Yeah but that was to never tell Lily, as long as she lived," Sirius replied, "And if you didn't realized it, you're kind of lacking in the living department."

"Shit!"

"Go on, Sirius. Tell me what happened," Lily said with a smile in her voice.

Sirius settled back in his chair and said, "Well I don't know if I should start with teaching Remus how to doggie paddle, the midget in the tiny car or the woman on the trapes…."

Sirius continued on with his story as James hid he face in the palm of his hands. Lily would occasionally nod her head or look at James in disbelief.

"… and I just made up this whole story," Sirius finished saying.

Lily sat there silently for a moment before saying, "What?"

"That whole story… I just made it up," Sirius said with a grin.

Lily's mouth opened then suddenly snapped shut. "You made the whole thing up. Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am," Sirius replied with a smug grin. "My parents named me that. Sirius Black"

James howled with laughter.

Lily smacked James on the arm. "I blame you for that."

"What? What did I do?" James sputtered.

"You're the one that started Sirius down the path of depravity," Lily replied.

"How did I do that?" James said in confusion.

"I'm curious about that answer myself," Sirius chimed in. "Although I'm pretty sure I was born this way."

"I remember that horrible day like it was yesterday. It start out so nice and full of promise," Lily said as she wiped a tear from her face. "We were on the train going to Hogwarts for the first time. You entered Sirius's compartment, asking if you could share it with him. I remember because I was behind you trying to find a place of my own. And that's when it happened… when you corrupted a poor semi-innocent boy with the most evil, vile thing in the world."

"What?" James asked in confusion as he looked between his wife and almost brother, who just shrugged his shoulders.

Lily wiped the tear from her face before looking down at her beloved. "You introduced him to puns."

"And it's been pun-tastic ever since," Sirius chimed in.

James looked at Sirius for a moment before turning back to Lily. "Sorry," he said simply. "But in my defense, Peter taught him knock-knock jokes and Remus taught us dirty lyrics."

"Remus was a dirty dog from the beginning," Sirius added in.

"Don't forget you married me for better or for worst," James said after shooting Sirius a quick glare.

"Until death do us part," Lily added in.

James nodded his head thoughtfully. "Yeah we need to fix that. So will you be my wife in the after-life?"

Lily looked at James in confusion. "Are you asking me to marry you again?"

"I'm asking you to marry me for all eternity; for this after-life and what comes after that," James said.

Lily threw herself at James, their lips coming together.

"And here I am, talking to myself yet again," Sirius opened his mouth to say something more, only to shut it as his friends started to progress a bit from simply kissing.

"Ah screw this! I'm heading to bed," Sirius got off the couch and made his way towards his room. "They seriously need to get a room."