A/N: All right folks here's the final installment to this little adventure. I hope I've wrapped everything up in a neat little bow. lol

Once again thank you all so much for your continued support and kind words. This was my first attempt at fanfiction and all of your were so supportive and encouraging, it's given me a lot of confidence in my writing (which I lacked before this). I plan on taking a little break after this before jumping into the blockbuster Golly story I mentioned previously so please stay with me and be on the look out for that.

As always reviews are welcomed and appreciated.

I hope you all enjoy and again thank you so much for sticking with me!

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Throughout most of her life Holly had prided herself on her ability to be understanding of others. From an early age she was taught to treat others with compassion and respect because you never knew what someone was going through unless you had walked in their shoes.

Clearly Holly had never been through an ordeal like Gail had, but she'd lost loved ones unexpectedly and could relate to the anger and pain that came along with it. What she couldn't wrap her head around was the pushing away of those who were trying to help. Granted she didn't know much about Gail's background or upbringing so she had tried to give the blonde the benefit of the doubt. She had tried to be there for her only to be pushed away, but of course when Gail turned up drunk on her doorstep last night Holly had taken her in without hesitation.

Now in light of being pushed away tonight at the Penny for a second time, Holly had begun to doubt if she'd been doing the right thing all along.

Therein lay the problem and source of her anger.

She couldn't and wouldn't turn her back on Gail Peck and truth be told it pissed her off.

'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,' she thought bitterly as she stood at the kitchen sink scrubbing the pan she'd used that morning to make the blonde officer's pancakes. She had no doubt the prying pan was clean, but still continued her vigorous cleaning to keep her hands busy. She had a healthy hunch that at this point she was causing damage to the Teflon coated pan, but didn't care at the moment.

Sighing heavily, Holly tossed the brillo pad aside in frustration and leaned against the counter, dropping her head forward and closing her eyes. She knew Gail would show up at some point tonight and she knew when she did she wouldn't turn her away. They were going to talk about this, but Holly wanted it to be a productive conversation and before that could happen she needed to calm down.

Unfortunately though, time was not on her side and a moment later the front door swung open and Gail bustled inside.

"Why's your front door unlocked? Don't you know how dangerous that is?" the blonde asked, kicking off her boots and tossing Holly's spare key on the breakfast bar.

"How was your walk?" Holly asked pointedly, ignoring the officer's question as Peck walked swiftly through the kitchen and began opening cabinets with a purpose.

"Cold," Gail replied pulling a bottle of bourbon down from the shelf and grabbing a glass. Holly frowned as she uncapped the bottle and poured a generous amount of liquor into the tumbler.

"Do you want to talk about what happened tonight? Cuz I have to be honest, I don't get it…"

The blonde just shook her head and simply replied, "Nope" before tossing back the drink.

"You can't keep this bottled up inside, Gail, it will ruin you," Holly pressed, her eyes pleading with the officer to open up.

The brunette knew this was a dangerous game, but until this point she had treaded lightly and bared witness to this burden slowly eating away at her friend. Gail's gorgeous blue eyes no longer held their shine, the circles under her eyes from lack of sleep grew darker by the day, the snarkiness and fire was slowly being snuffed out and Holly refused to stand by and watch it happen any longer. At the risk of being completely pushed away, the doc decided to press on.

"I can't…" Peck trailed in a near whisper. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"It matters to me," Holly replied back, her anger beginning to bleed through and she took a deep, calming breath. Gail rose from the stool, slipping on her boots.

"Where are you going?" Holly asked, surprised by the blonde's quick retreat.

"I'm gonna go…" Peck answered shortly grabbing her jacket from the hook hastily.

"Hey wait," Holly said, gripping Peck's wrist to stop her from walking out the door.

"It's best if I just go," Gail said, not turning to meet her gaze.

"Best for whom? You? So you can go drown yourself in a bottle somewhere and wake up alone, screaming in the middle of the night? Best for me so I can sit here worrying where the hell you are and if you're ok?" Holly asked, her anger quickly flaring and she fought to keep it in check. "You can't keep running from this, you have to face it."

Gail felt her heart sink, she thought she'd been doing a half way decent job of hiding her demons from Holly, but apparently she'd slipped along the way. Damn this woman's perceptiveness.

"I don't know if I want to relive all that again…" Peck said lowly, avoiding the doc's stare.

"But you're already reliving it every day; when you close your eyes and try to sleep, hell even when you're awake I can see it weighing on you," the brunette said firmly. "You didn't die in that basement so it's time to start living."

The brunette's stare stayed glued to Peck and after seeing Gail weighing her options she pressed on, praying she was finally breaking through to the stubborn officer.

"Gail I've watched you go through hell this past week," Holly continued, her eyes pleading. "Come on, talk to me…please," she implored, grasping Gail's hands in hers and shaking gently as if the physical act would spur her on. To her surprise Gail's gaze rose to meet her own, her eyes welled to the brim with tears.

"I don't want my issues to become yours any more than they already have," Gail said and received a questioning look from her counterpart. "You have been running yourself ragged trying to make sure I'm ok, you practically pass out at night with exhaustion from dealing with my bullshit and I don't want that for you. I don't want my mess to disrupt your life, that's why it's best if I just disappear for a while."

"You don't get to make that decision for me. If I made it through my internship working 18 hour shifts day after day for over a year I think I can handle this," Holly countered firmly before softening her tone. She knew Gail was in a fragile state and didn't need to be preached to, but at the same time Holly needed to be heard, she needed to get through to her. "Pulling back isn't going to solve a damn thing. Isolating yourself from the people who care about you and pushing us away isn't going to solve anything, you need to lean on us now more than ever. Let me help you."

Gail was taken aback by Holly's assertiveness. Most folks backed down and let the situation drop as soon as she put up the wall of defiance and barred her teeth, but not the brunette. If anything Holly had become more persistent. Maybe Holly really did care for her; maybe for once in Gail's life someone genuinely had her best interests at heart. Maybe she could entrust this wonderful woman standing in front her to help pick up the pieces she was no longer able to juggle on her own. Holly was doing something no one had ever done for Gail.

Holly was fighting for her.

Taking a deep shaky breath Gail met Holly's warm brown eyes, seeing the silent compassion held within.

"I'm not good with words…" Gail said lowly, almost warningly.

"Try…I'm pretty good at solving puzzles," the brunette replied with her patented crooked smirk and was relieved when Peck smiled briefly and chuckled before taking another deep breath, the tension seeming to ease at the comment.

"How much time do you have?" Gail asked sheepishly glancing at the clock on the wall, noting the late hour.

"All the time you need."

"This may take a while…"

"Gail?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop stalling."

"Right," Gail sighed, taking Holly by the hand and leading her into the living room where they sat on the couch, Peck absently grabbing a pillow and holding it in her lap to give her hands something to fidget with. "I'm not sure where to start…"

"Start at the beginning," the brunette said softly, pulling her leg underneath herself and turning to face Gail. "Start with the night of the abduction if you can…"

Gail visibly stiffened and swallowed hard making Holly second guess if she was doing the right thing by getting her to open up. Luckily that doubt subsided as the blonde took a breath and nodded.

"We had run an undercover op at the _ hotel, some creep was snatching up call girls and their bodies were being dumped all around town,"

Holly nodded with recollection, "I worked a few of those."

"So you already know what kind of girls he preferred," Gail said gesturing to herself, "blonde haired, blue eyed...and sexy of course," she smirked.

"Of course," Holly chuckled with a nod and quickly dropped her gaze in disbelief at what she'd just said. Luckily for her if Gail had caught on to her remark she didn't show it, instead she took a deep breath and moved on to the next part of the story.

"So we had just finished the debriefing and I took a cab back to McNally's while she went home with Swarek. I was staying with her for a few days and shortly after I got back to her apartment there was a knock at the door, I thought it was Nick so I answered it. The next thing I know the door slams me in the head, there's this guy wearing a mask and we're fighting. Then he gets on top of me…starts choking me and then I passed out," Gail said, her tone sounding detached and dejected as she absently plucked at a string on the pillow.

"When I woke up I was blindfolded and strapped to a table in his basement, my memory of everything from there is kind of patchy, but I remember a blinding exam light shining down on me when my eyes weren't covered, my head was pounding and I felt funny almost like I couldn't get my body to do what I wanted it to…"

"He drugged you…" Holly said lowly as she recognized the symptoms before Gail could say it. She hadn't seen the toxicology results from the blood samples taken at the hospital, but she figured it was one of a dozen tranquilizers most commonly used in cases like these. The thought made Holly's stomach turn.

Gail nodded meekly.

"I'm not sure what it was, but I woke up with an IV in my arm…the weird thing is despite being choked out and having a door slammed in my face, Perrick always sounded sincere when he spoke, almost like he was trying to be soothing. He told me numerous times he was going to take care of me…I can only imagine what that would've entailed with his twisted mind…" she trailed off, pausing for a moment to compose herself.

"Did you know he didn't have a clue I was a cop until Jerry showed up with my Department ID photo?" the blonde asked, glancing up from the pillow at Holly who nodded no. "It really upset him, I remember him coming down the stairs in a hurry cuz his wingtips were clicking rapidly on the steps; he yanked the blindfold off my face and asked why I didn't tell him I was a cop. I was so confused, he'd given me another shot of whatever when Jerry knocked on the door so I didn't really know what was going on…he cut the straps around my wrists and ankles and I remember thinking to myself here's my chance to get away, here's my chance to overpower him and get him secured, but I was so wrong…" Gail said with a frown. "When my feet hit the floor my legs barely held me upright, he practically dragged me up the stairs and into the dining room where Jerry…" she stopped, her voice breaking as tears welled in her eyes at the memory of the pool of blood on the floor and the ghostly pale complexion of the detective.

"When we came through the door Jerry launched himself at Perrick and I tried to help him, I really did," Gail said, choking back sobs and Holly scooted closer to pull the blonde into a hug and rubbed her back reassuringly. "But I couldn't do anything, my legs gave out and I fell back into the corner…I watched Jerry get pistol whipped and there was nothing I could do to help him…"

"Gail it's not your fault," Holly said softly, continuing to run gentle circles across her back.

"It feels like it is though," Gail replied with a sniffle and pulled back. "Once Jerry was unconscious, Perrick dragged me out to his cab and locked me in the trunk. The fumes from the exhaust made me dizzy and it was hard to breathe. I thought for sure I was a goner, I figured once we got wherever he was taking me I was dead…I'm not sure how long it was before Chris and Nick found me, but it felt like forever…Do you know how they found us?"

The brunette shook her head no.

"Jerry slipped his cell phone into Perrick's pocket when he rushed him in the dining room, Dov and Oliver were able to track the signal off the cell towers to pinpoint our location," Gail answered, a gleam of pride showing in her eyes for her friends. "I can't get over the feeling though that had Jerry kept his phone he could've called for help and he'd still be alive…"

"But you wouldn't," Holly said softly, the thought sending an icy shiver down her spine. What happened next broke her heart.

Gail slowly raised her watery gaze to meet Holly's and shrugged indifferently.

"I'm starting to think it wouldn't have been such a bad thing in comparison…" the blonde said, her lower lip trembling slightly as she nearly whispered the words. Holly frowned and tilted her head. "What, it's true. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all this, my mother wouldn't be secretly pissed at me for shaming the family name, hell in her eyes it would've been an honorable death; she probably would've been proud even…"

"You didn't shame the family name," Holly began, but was quickly cut off.

"In her eyes I did, in her eyes this whole situation is unacceptable. Do you know what she had the audacity to suggest when she came to visit me in the hospital? She wants to spin this whole thing to make it look like I helped take Perrick down, she wants to put me up for a mayoral commendation like I'm some goddamn hero," Gail said, the words dripping from her lips as if they tasted bitter. "It's the biggest joke I've ever heard."

"Can you respectfully decline," the doc suggested, but Peck instantly shook her head.

"You don't understand, when Superintendent Mom wants to do something there's no stopping her; it's been that way my whole life," Gail said sadly and Holly could see the burden weighing heavily on her shoulders. Holly knew she'd been blessed to have understanding and open-minded parents who encouraged her to follow her heart and do what made her happy, but even with the limited knowledge of Gail's upbringing, Holly could see the blonde hadn't been afforded the same luxury growing up. She could see the pressure that had been placed on Gail's shoulders from an early age.

A heavy sigh heaved from Gail's chest.

"I just hate this," Gail huffed, shoving the pillow away in frustration.

"Hate what?"

"This," Peck replied as if that was explanation enough and Holly stayed silent with the hopes Gail would elaborate, luckily she didn't have to wait long. "I hate being afraid all the time. I hate being on edge. I hate that stupid shit like the gentle clicking of shoes on the floor or even a simple knock on the door almost triggers a panic attack. Hell I'm afraid to close my eyes because who knows what I'll dream about."

"Can I ask what they've been like?" Holly asked tentatively, hoping she wasn't pressing too hard, but wanted desperately to understand what Peck was going through.

"They usually start out the same; I'm back on the table in the basement, but lately they've been getting progressively worse," Gail said, her eyes looking haunted as she debated how to continue. "The one I had the night you brought me back here after the hospital ended with him plunging a knife into my stomach, that's what woke me up…then the next night at the hotel…" she casted her eyes down unable to meet the doc's gaze. "That was the first night you appeared in them, when he pulled the blindfold from my eyes you were strapped to the table next to mine…"

Holly fought to keep her expression neutral at hearing this, everything suddenly started to make sense. "That's why you've been drinking so much?"

Gail shrugged, "I figured if I passed out I wouldn't dream, but I was wrong, the alcohol just made the nightmares that much more vivid…they were so real, Hol. That's why I came here in the middle of the night last night; I had to see for myself that you were ok."

As if she didn't know what else to do, Gail leaned over and grabbed the pillow she'd tossed aside moments ago, pulling it back into her lap.

"It's ridiculous how much one man can take away. Even though he's locked up it's like he's still right here terrorizing me only now he's impacting the people I care about; Traci, Oliver, and Leo by taking Jerry away from them…. you with having to deal with my antics and anxieties…He's stripped away so much I hardly know what to do anymore," she said sounding completely and utterly defeated. "I just want to go back and erase all the bullshit, you know? Things made sense back then, but now…" she shrugged helplessly.

"It'll get better," Holly said slipping her hand into the blonde's to give it a gentle squeeze.

"How?" Peck asked looking completely lost. "What do I do, Hol?"

"You've already taken the first step by talking about it right now," Holly said with a small, proud smile. "But you need to keep going; you need to talk to someone who has professional training with this sort of thing."

"I hate shrinks," Gail frowned.

"Then we'll find you one that you don't," the doc replied.

"Can't I just keep talking to you?"

"Of course, but I think some grief counseling would do you some good," Holly encouraged softly.

Gail sat quietly for a moment as if she was milling something over.

"You know the only good thing to come out of all this was meeting you," Gail said with such honesty and sincerity it made Holly's breath hitch in her chest for a moment. When Holly lifted her gaze she was surprised to see Gail's blue eyes looking back at her. "I mean it Holly; you've been so great to me, opening up your home and rearranging your schedule to be with me. I haven't always treated you with the appreciation you deserve…I was such a brat at times and I took you for granted and I want you to know how sorry I am for that."

Any lingering remnant of anger Holly may have felt instantly vanished with Gail's heartfelt words, not only because she felt the full meaning behind them, but because she knew it wasn't an easy thing for the blonde to express. The fact that Gail was sitting here pouring her heart out to her meant the world and made all the crap Holly had put up with to this point worth it. She was certain not too many folks were privy to this side of the snarky officer and was grateful for the opportunity to witness it.

"I've never had anyone step up for me like that, not my parents, not even Nick…that's what started all this tonight. When I stepped out for some air he came out to talk to me, wanted to make amends and figured that since he said he was sorry I'd just take him back…I pretty much laughed in his face," Gail said with a satisfied smirk. "That's the one thing he never understood, words are just words unless you back them up, actions speak for themselves. He always talked a big game, but when it came down to it he never showed up; how can you trust someone like that? I can't trust him anymore, I can't rely on him…I think deep down I knew that all along, but just didn't want to believe it…"

"It's hard when you realize someone isn't who you thought they were," Holly said, knowing all too well what the blonde was talking about.

"You could never be like him, you've already proven who you are," Gail said, sitting up straighter and moving closer to Holly. "You were there for me even when I didn't deserve it, you were there when my own mother wasn't," at this Peck choked up and blinked back tears as she silently cursed herself.

There were so many things she wanted to say, but as luck would have it her words were suddenly failing her.

'Actions speak for themselves,' she thought for a moment as her gaze shifted from Holly's eyes to her lips, the change in focus not going unnoticed by the brunette who felt her heart kick into overdrive.

Gail slowly leaned in; her lips so close to the doc's she could feel her breath and then they were pressing together. What started out as a hesitant, slightly awkward kiss quickly escalated.

Holly wasn't sure exactly how it happened, but she was suddenly flat on her back with the blonde pressed firmly on top of her while their tongues moved in a quick, slightly desperate rhythm to memorize each other in a delicate dance. Gail's hands began to roam and soon the hem of the brunette's shirt was bunched up beneath her breasts to expose the soft, toned expanse of her stomach while Holly's fingers splayed across Peck's back running long sweeping patterns over her sweater.

Holly's head lulled to the side as Gail's lips attacked her neck and it was then in that moment of slight separation that the brunette knew they needed to slow things down before they got out of hand. She ran her hands up Peck's forearms to her shoulders and applied gentle pressure to create some distance between them.

"Gail," Holly said in a low husk as the blonde went to press herself back against her. "Gail, we need to stop…" Holly said softly when Peck gazed down at her in confusion, "I know you've been through a lot and you've been under a lot of stress, but I don't want you to do something you're going to regret later."

"You don't feel the same way…" Gail said, sitting back and scooting away from the doc who followed her up into a seated position, the officer feeling rejected and ridiculous for putting herself out there like this.

"No it's not that at all. Believe me I feel things for you, very strongly I might add. I think you're an amazing woman and I care so much about you, I just don't want to take advantage of a situation where you might not be thinking clearly. Like I said I don't want you to regret anything," Holly quickly explained, pulling the blonde's hands into her own to pull Peck's focus back to her. Holly could see the last hint of hurt leaving her deep blue eyes as clarity and what she hoped was understanding took its place.

"I could never regret anything when it comes it you," Gail said before she could think about her statement. Holly's eyes lit up at the sentiment and she wanted nothing more than to pull the blonde back in, but knew it wouldn't be right, not given the current circumstances. Slow was the name of the game if things were going to have a chance to work out.

Gail took a deep breath and chuckled slightly as she let it out, "Do I ever feel dumb right now…"

"Don't," Holly replied with a warm smile as she pulled the blonde into a hug. "I want the same thing you want, we just have to do things in the right order if we're going to have a genuine chance, ok?"

Peck nodded against her chest.

"There's no rush, I'm not going anywhere," the doc said as Gail nuzzled in closer and relaxed against her. "We'll get everything else sorted out."

Gail breathed a sigh of relief.

For the first time since her world was turned upside down a little over a week ago things finally felt like they were righting themselves. Gail knew it wasn't going to be easy and it was still going to take time, but the task didn't seem as daunting knowing she had Holly by her side. The thought helped her relax and it wasn't long until she drifted off into the first restful night's sleep she'd had in what felt like forever.