When I Was Your Man Chapter 1, a fairy tail fanfic

A/N: So, here's a GaLu songfic. Enjoy!

(I don't own Fairy Tail.)

It had been two months. Two months of torture and anguish that he hid behind a blank mask of indifference. Not even Lily saw the pain he felt, although he knew that the Exceed had figured it out. Two months ago, Gajeel Redfox lost the only thing that had mattered to him, and it was all his fault. He lost Lucy. They had fought again over his own selfish bullshit, and she walked out. He figured it was going to be like every other time she had walked out on him. He thought she was going to come home after a few hours and then they would have mind-blowing makeup sex. She didn't. She stayed with Erza that night, then became the Stripper's roommate until she could find her own place. He couldn't stand the sight of all the things she left behind, so Lily stayed at the house and Gajeel slept in the woods. He didn't know if she ever came to get her stuff, but he couldn't bear the thought of their home being without it.

He knew exactly what he did wrong. He knew it as soon as she walked out the front door, but he was too stubborn to run after her and apologize. He was too stubborn to tell her why the argument started in the first place. She couldn't stand watching everyone else find their happiness, becoming mated, while he never made that final move. He had told her all about how the ritual worked, that it was different for each Slayer, but they knew what had to be done. He had laid it all out for her, hoping it would end the conversation about her being his mate. But, even after all of that… Even after he told her that she would have to fight him in a no-hold's-barred battle and survive. That after she had survived, regardless of how injured she was, his instincts would force him to claim her. That he wouldn't be gentle when he marked her and finally mated with her. She still wanted to be his. He couldn't lie to himself, he wanted her as his mate. He felt it with every fiber of his being.

There was only one problem: he had promised that he would never spill her blood again. Gajeel never wanted to inflict pain on any member of his guild, but especially not on Lucy. When he had brutalized her in the name of Phantom Lord, he had enjoyed it. Now he knew better. His mind was warped and twisted from the grief of being left alone by Metallicana, and he was taken advantage of. He didn't view himself as anything more than a tool for destruction.

Lucy had changed that. Every hit, every drop of her blood that was spilled, never caused her conviction to waver. She was a fighter with the purest of hearts, and he had tried to break her. In retrospect, Gajeel was glad that he'd failed. His admittance to Fairy Tail didn't go over too well, and he accepted any and all beatings his guildmates wanted to give him as retribution for his actions. Lucy had forgiven him almost instantly. He could tell that nightmares of him had plagued her, and she even confirmed it when they started dating, but she had still overlooked it all and trusted him as her guildmate.

She wants to be my mate. I want her as my mate. Gajeel growled as he sat in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. How could I have been so stupid? She had offered to spend the rest of her life with him, but he was too scared. He never admitted it to her, never told her the real reason that he had refused to make her his forever. He had told her countless times that he loved her, but he couldn't take that last step.

Towards the end, which he didn't realize was the end until she didn't come home, they had drifted apart. She would spend more time with the girls in the guild, knowing he hated it when she was alone with other guys—even if they were like her family—and slowly things fell apart. Gajeel clenched his fist as he recalled all of the signs that he had missed.

She would ask if he wanted to go out. He would shrug. She would sigh and lock herself in the bedroom with a book.

She would ask if they could go dancing. He said he couldn't dance.

He used to get her little gifts all the time. Pointless and sometimes useless little trinkets, but she always lit up when she got them as if they were made of pure gold. At some point, he stopped. Even when they fought, he just assumed sex would clear it up. I'm an idiot.

He had made so many mistakes during their time together. She had forgiven him in the beginning. She showed him what he should do. She taught him what it was like to have a human relationship. He couldn't rely only on his dragon instincts to keep her happy, because she wasn't a dragon or a Slayer. He thought he knew everything, and it bit him in the ass. As time went, she stopped trying to teach him what he was doing wrong. He already knew, but he did it anyway.

Gajeel looked across the hall to see Lucy sitting and smiling with her team. He hated that he was alone again. His heart ached with a longing he thought was well behind him when he saw her smiling face. She looks so happy… He realized that as their time together came to a close, she almost never smiled. He loved her smile. He loved everything about her.

She laughed. Her wonderful, bubbly, and infectious laughter filled his ears. I miss her so much. But, there wasn't anything he could do. Gajeel had figured that she had moved on, found someone else. She had to have found someone that makes her happy. Lucy was amazing, there was just no way for her to be alone. He saw her lean lovingly against Gray's shoulder, and his blood began to boil. Gray pressed a soft kiss to her hair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. I knew it, he thought sadly. A soft whimper left him at the sight of her in another man's embrace. He wanted to run over to there and rip her away from Gray, maybe taking the guy's arm in the process, but he stopped himself. It was his own fault that she left. Not Gray's. Gajeel had caused her enough heartache, and he wouldn't be the one to hurt her anymore. Never again.

I know what I have to do… he thought as he stood up and made his way to the bar. After a short whispered conversation with Mira, the only person who hadn't hated him after he and Lucy split up, she nodded and got everything ready. She held pity in her eyes as she walked away from him, but he didn't dwell on it. Gajeel thought back over the past two months that he had been forced to spend without Lucy. He had taken countless missions, killed hundreds of monsters, to take his mind off of how horrible he felt. He would come back to the guild in the early in the morning— before anyone else got there— as a bloody mess, sometimes being carried by Lily, and would let Mira know his mission was successful. Then, he would wait until he was healed enough and take another. And another. He hardly spent any time where Lucy could be. He couldn't watch her move on.

"Alright everyone! We've got a request to start on some karaoke!" Mira shouted happily, grinning as the guild cheered loudly. Usually, karaoke was the beginning of a long night of drinking for the mages, so they always loved when it was announced. "First up, Gajeel Redfox!"

Gajeel smirked as he walked on the stage and took the microphone from the white-haired woman. He heard groans of disappointment as he was illuminated by the spotlight, and most of the guild had gone silent. Instead of the white suit he wore when he "performed," he was in his normal clothes. There was no guitar with him. This song was only for Lucy. To tell her, in the only way that she would listen to him, that he was sorry. That he hoped she was happy. That he would leave her alone for good.

He stared at the ground for a moment, collecting himself, then nodded to Mira to start the music he had given her. When the chords on the piano started ringing through the hall, he heard soft gasps of recognition. "Lucy," he said into the microphone as he raised his red eyes to meet her teary brown ones, "I'm sorry. This song is for you…"

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

He started to sing the song. Really sing. Instead of the normally grating noise that came from the Iron Dragon Slayer, his voice was a beautiful and breathy baritone. Gajeel had never let anyone, not even Lucy, hear him like this. He thought it was a weakness of his. He only performed the way the guild saw him because he knew it got on their nerves, and he thought it was funny. This time, however, was different. He was going to put everything out there for her. It was the only way to apologize for all of the pain he had caused.

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But she's dancing with another man

"What the… Metal Brains can actually sing?" Natsu whispered in disbelief. He looked over at Lucy, his best friend and partner. Her heart rate had picked up when Gajeel's name was called, her breath caught in her throat when he walked on stage. She started to tear up when he apologized, the smell of salt in the air filtering into Natsu's overly sensitive nose. When he started to sing… Natsu watched her hands fly to her mouth to stop the sobs that came out.

He's apologizing for everything, Lucy thought sadly. She had been miserable for two months without him, but couldn't find a reason to go back. He never even said he was sorry for what happened.

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes.

It was true. Gajeel knew he was an idiot for thinking that he could keep Lucy in his life as nothing more than a girlfriend. He was too proud to admit that he was scared of hurting her. He had been selfish, only concerned with how he felt about it and not about how much it hurt her when he refused to make her his mate. Gajeel knew that he had lost the only spark of light in his life, and it was his fault that she was gone.

Gajeel's voice was almost haunting with the emotions he was letting everyone see. Mira had never known that he held so much inside of him. She, along with the rest of the guild, had a basic understanding of what had happened between him and Lucy—she wanted to be more than a girlfriend, and he wouldn't take the next step—but those two months of them being separated didn't seemed to have any effect on the pierced Slayer. He had been grumpy before, and he stayed grumpy, no more and no less. He got into fights, talked with Lily and Mira, ate his metal, and glared at people just like he always did. Mira's eyes shot to Lucy, and her heart broke as she watched tears pour down the blonde's face. She knew how much it had hurt Lucy to stay away from Gajeel, but the Celestial mage thought it was for the best. When Mira looked back up at the stage, her own tears finally managed to spill over and down her cheeks. As Gajeel's voice rose and fell with the roiling emotions inside of him, his eyes never left Lucy. Mira had expected the intense red gaze of the man to stay on the blonde, but she never expected this.

Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

Gajeel imagined that it was only him and Lucy in a room. That she was the only one seeing him like this. He let everything he had been feeling for the past two months out as he told her how he felt. All of his anger with himself, his loneliness, his love for her, the never-ending sadness he felt when he saw her across the room instead of next to him. He felt hopeless when he woke up alone every morning. He was a shell of what he once was when she had been with him. His only saving grace was that Lucy and Lily were the only ones that saw how he was when he wasn't around people. He had let them in, and no one else. So, as far as the guild was concerned, he had been doing fine for the past two months. Nothing had fazed him. They couldn't have been more wrong. As the next and final lines of the song fell from his lips, he could feel small rivulets of sadness falling from his eyes. He sang gently, showing her that he had no ill feelings toward how she chose to spend her life. He knew he messed up, but she didn't have to dwell on it.

I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man.

As soon as the last syllable passed his lips, Gajeel couldn't take it any longer. He dropped the microphone and walked off the stage, heading straight for the exit. He had to get out of there. The whispers and murmurs of his guildmates were like screams in his ears, filling his head as if they were an angry hive of bees. He couldn't look at her any more. Couldn't bear to see her crying because of him. He shouldered past Laxus and Bickslow when they tried to stop him, knocking one or both off balance. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and the atmosphere inside had made him feel like he was being suffocated. He barely registered Lily flying up and talking to him, trying to tell him something, but he only closed his eyes with a grimace and kept moving towards the exit.

Natsu watched in shock as Gajeel stormed past everyone and left, slamming the doors open and stalking off into the night. He hadn't even tried to talk to Lucy afterwards. The man barely saw his own Exceed trying to tell him to stop and talk to her. Guilt, sadness, and something Natsu couldn't place wafted off of Gajeel as he pushed past everyone. Natsu looked over at his best friend. She was clearly devastated, her whole body shaking with her sobs. "Luce," he whispered as he put his warm hand on her shoulder.

Lucy looked up at her friend, not knowing what to do.

He saw the confusion in her eyes. She was frozen in place. "Go talk to him… I hate that he hurt you, but you guys are meant for each other," he said softly. "Two months is too long to be apart."

His feet pounded down the stairs as he left the guild. Even with the cool night air of autumn dancing across his skin and through his hair, he still felt like he was being suffocated. His heart constricted as he realized he had let her go. He didn't fight like he was taught to do. There was no enemy for him to defeat. Gajeel dropped to his knees in the courtyard, staring off into the distance. As far as she was concerned, he was nothing to her. The only woman he had ever loved had ripped his heart out and torn it to shreds, and he had no one to blame but himself. Gajeel looked up at the stars, and let out a strangled cry. No matter where he went, she would always be with him. Her friends, her spirits, and the source of her magic would stare back at him every night from their seats in those twinkling constellations. She would forget about him, move on, and have a family. He would only ever love her. He took in a deep breath, and roared into the sky. There was no magic behind it, no shards of metal flying into the air. The only thing that he let out in that roar was the desperation he felt at losing her.

The guild shook with the force of his roar. Lucy jumped in her seat, her eyes instantly going to the guild's doors, when she heard it. Gajeel sounded like he was dying. It was like there was nothing left for him to live for, and he was letting the world know he would be gone soon. One final shout into the heavens before he vanished. Looking back at Natsu, his words to her had finally sunk in. I have to talk to him… He needs me… She shot from her seat and ran as quickly as she could. For once, her friends didn't try to stop her and talk, they parted with shocked expressions as she streaked past them.

"Go get him, Luce," Natsu whispered with a smile as she ripped the doors open and rushed outside.

She saw him. Gajeel hadn't made it far before he collapsed. The strong and fearless man that she loved was on his hands and knees, his hair cascading down to hide his face as he openly sobbed in the courtyard. At that moment, she didn't care what had happened in the past. They could worry about it later. She had never seen him so broken before, and had only witnessed a small glimpse of sadness when he had talked about Metallicana leaving him. "Gajeel…" she whispered as she rushed over to him. Lucy slid on her knees in front of him, ignoring the pain of the concrete tearing her legs open, and wrapped her arms tightly around his quivering shoulders.

She's gone, he thought, I'll be alone. The pain he had felt when Metallicana, his foster father, had left was nothing in comparison to how he felt in that moment. That first loss was a pinprick, while this was like he was being eaten from the inside out by acid. Gajeel felt something wrap around him, and instantly growled, pushing whatever it was away. He lifted his head and bared his teeth to make sure they got the picture to leave him alone.

She should have been scared. Gajeel's eyes held no recognition of her, only the wild dragon instincts he had gained along with his magic. Those red eyes that had looked at her so lovingly before, now glared at her like she was a stranger that was encroaching on his hoard. Even through her tears, Lucy smiled. She launched herself at him, nuzzling his neck and wrapping her arms tightly around him again. She took in the comforting scent that only he possessed: metal and cinnamon. She had missed it and didn't even realize how much until that moment. Another growl ripped up his throat, but he made no move to get rid of her.

Gajeel couldn't see anything but the memory of Lucy's smiling face. He didn't know who was in front of him. He had no clue who had dared to interrupt his mourning, regardless of where it was happening. He wanted to tear them to shreds when he felt the small body press itself against him, the unfamiliar nose pressing against his neck. He growled as he got ready to rip this person off of him, but his body wouldn't move. There was something familiar about this person, but he didn't know what. Strawberries, he thought as their scent filled his nose, Lucy used to smell like strawberries…

Lucy kept herself pressed against him as tightly as possible, fearing that any space between them would cause him to go on a killing spree. His growls stopped, though he was still heaving breaths through his gritted and bared teeth. Lucy allowed her body to run on instinct instead of worrying what might happen to her. Her lips pressed softly to the pounding vein of his neck, then she lightly ran them up to his jaw, across his cheek. When they finally met with the corner of his mouth, she whispered his name.

Gajeel heard her voice calling to him. There was still something wrapped around his shoulders, something pressed to his chest. He felt an odd, warm tingling sensation move up his neck to his mouth. His eyes closed and smelled the air again. He was surrounded by strawberries. Not the artificial ones from body wash, but real strawberries. "Lucy," he whispered as he let out a shaky breath.

"I'm here, Gajeel." Her voice was barely a breath against his skin. His lips were only slightly parted, though his brows were screwed up in concentration. She shivered as he took deep breaths, almost like he was trying to find a specific scent. Her hand moved from his neck to drag her nails lightly across his scalp, and he actually responded with a slight shudder.

She's not here, I know she's not. His mind was trying to trick him to get rid of the pain he felt. She had left him behind. Just like everyone else had. He could smell her, but he knew it was a figment of his imagination. He even imagined her hands in his hair just the way he liked. He let out a small whimper, wishing things had turned out differently. I should have done so much more for her…

Lucy's heart told her it was time to make him snap out of it. He was losing a battle with himself, and she couldn't stand by and let him get away from her. She should never have left in the first place. He didn't have to tell her that one of his biggest fears was being left alone again. It was part of the reason he was so overprotective of her, aside from his dragon instincts. He didn't want to lose her. The more she had thought about it the last week or so, the more she had realized the reason he hadn't wanted to make her his mate. He never wanted to hurt her. She saw the guilt he still carried to that day from his time before Fairy Tail, his time in Phantom Lord when he had kidnapped and tortured her. She had forgiven him, but he had never forgiven himself. Even when they were dating, he kept their intimacy safe, and she felt like he was holding something back. He was afraid that he would hurt me again. There was only one way to bring him back to her, so they could fix the mess they had made.

Gajeel felt something warm and soft crash onto his lips. Anger filled him, making him boil from the inside out. How dare someone do what was only meant for her?! He tried to pull his head away, but the hands that he had imagined gripped his hair forcefully and pushed his lips onto whoever was kissing him. He growled and his eyes shot open, but his growls died in his throat when he saw her. Her blonde hair was billowing in the wind that surrounded them, her chocolate eyes closed with her soft lashes laying gracefully against her cheeks. His hands itched to touch her, to know that this was real. He smelled strawberries, Lucy's wonderful scent, and recognized the feel of her sweet lips against his. His own lips hadn't made a single move once he opened his eyes, and he refused to believe she was really here.

She kept her eyes closed as her lips moved against his. When he growled, she started to worry that her idea was a bad one. Then, his growls stopped and he tensed up as if he had seen a ghost. Lucy tightened her grip in his hair, and pulled his head back smirking when he gasped in pain. She took the opportunity to sweep her tongue inside his open mouth, moaning when she tasted the metal piercing that ran through his tongue.

Her moan broke his mind free from any doubts it may have had. He tasted her on his tongue, the single timid sweep of her in his mouth causing him to growl in satisfaction. His hands shot to her waist, and he pulled her closer while they battled for dominance. It's her… It's really her… He didn't know why she was here. Why she was kissing him. But Gajeel couldn't find it in him to care. He had missed her touch, the way she molded perfectly to him, the noises she made.

Finally, even though she didn't want to, Lucy pulled away from the kiss and looked into his eyes. Brown stared into red as they caught their breath. She was sure they had the same surprised expression on their faces when he brought a hand to her face, running a thumb over her swollen lips. He studied her, then looked at her as if he was unsure before he slowly lowered his lips to hers. She could tell he was asking permission, willing to stop if she said so, when he paused just a breath away from making contact. Lucy smiled softly and closed the distance between them, letting his lips massage hers while he brought his other hand up to cup her face. In all of their time together, even with the realization that Gajeel had never wanted to hurt her again, he had never been so gentle with her. That one kiss told her more than the year and a half they had dated.

He finally pulled away and placed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. Gajeel took in a shaking breath and said, "I'm sorry, Lucy."

"I'm not your Bunny Girl anymore?" she asked softly, with a small smile on her face. No matter how much she had complained at first, she loved the nickname he had given her so long ago.

Gajeel kept his eyes closed and didn't hear the smile in her voice. He shook his head and said, "No, I lost the right to call you that when I lost you."

The smile left her instantaneously. "You never lost me. I was here the whole time," she whispered in earnest. She had waited for him to apologize. Everyone knew how forgiving she was, and she was willing to forgive him this time too. But, he had to know what he did and actually mean it when he apologized for her to come home. It was why she hadn't looked for a place of her own, and hadn't tried to pick up her things. Lucy had told Lily what she wanted Gajeel to do, but she also told him that the Dragon Slayer had to do it on his own without any help from anyone else.

He shook his head again, tears threatening to fall as he heard her words. His voice was thick with emotion when he said, "No, you left. And now I'll never get you back… Besides, you look happy with Strip— with Gray."

Lucy's eyes widened in shock. He thought I was with Gray?! She never had and never would see Gray as anything more than a teammate—a flirtatious, stripping, and brotherly teammate. "I was only staying at his place until you apologized. You're the only one for me, Gajeel," she said urgently. She had to make him understand that the sadness she had caused in him wasn't going to continue. "You said mates are forever, right?"

Gajeel's brows furrowed and he nodded slowly as he pulled away to look at her.

"I wouldn't tell you that I want to be your mate, and stay with you even beyond death, if I was going to leave you and jump in the sack with someone else. And in some crazy parallel universe where that did happen, it would not be with Gray." Lucy shuddered at the thought of sleeping with Gray, and grimaced. "No thanks. You're all I need."

"But… In the guild…" Gajeel was confused. He had seen her lean into Gray's embrace, watched the man kiss her like they were in love.

Her mouth dropped open in understanding, then she blushed. "Gray said he wanted to make you jealous so you would get your head out of your ass and take me away. I was nudging his shoulder because that's all the physical contact that Juvia will tolerate, even though he's told her that I'm like a sister."

"And the kiss?"

"Kiss?! What kiss?!" she shouted.

"He kissed your hair," Gajeel said, narrowing his eyes.

Lucy sighed, dropping her head. "Guess he decided he was going to go through with it even though I told him not to."

He lifted her head back up and looked like he was trying to decide something. "I really am sorry, you know. I was an asshole, and I should have been honest with you."

She moved her hands from his hair to just behind his ears, and lightly scratched. Lucy watched his eyes flutter closed and giggled when a soft, rumbling, purr-like growl vibrated through him. Gajeel glared at her, but there was no malice in it. She brushed her nose against his, running it along the piercings on each side before she said, "If you had told me that you didn't want to mate because you didn't want to hurt me, I would have understood. And then I would have kicked your ass all over the house for thinking that I would hold something like that against you."

The rumbling in his chest stopped and he stared at her in disbelief. "How did you—"

"I figured it out recently. You always held back with me, even in bed. When we got together, you promised you would never hurt me, but I didn't realize until this past week that it was holding you back from mating with me…" she whispered. "I told you before, and I'll tell you again until you get it through that metallic skull of yours. I don't care what I have to endure, as long as it means I get to be yours, and yours alone. Forever."

"You don't know what you're asking me to do, Lucy." He couldn't get past the shock that she had figured out what had kept him from doing it.

"I do. You told me what we would have to do. That it wouldn't be easy, I would probably get hurt, and you wouldn't be gentle with me afterwards."

"Right. You don't deserve that…" Images of her battered and bloody body from so many years ago filtered through his mind. "I can't do that to you again."

Lucy smiled and traced the piercings that littered his face. "Who says you'll win?" She smirked at him, wondering if challenging his fighting abilities would work.

He sighed, calmed by her fingers lightly brushing against his face. "It's not about winning. It's about you proving that you're strong enough to handle me. To keep me in line when I lose control—and we both know that one day I will. My mate has to be able to bring me back when my instincts take over. If you can't do it during the ritual, I could kill you…" His words ended almost inaudibly. Though he was intensely anxious when presented with the thought of harming Lucy, her knowledge of what relaxed him had kept him calm enough to tell her the truth.

"Gajeel, look at me." When he did as she asked, she smiled and said, "Do you think I'm strong enough? Can I handle you and keep you calm when it counts?"

"You're doing a bang-up job right now…" And that was when it hit him. She was already acting as if they were mated. He had lost his mind with grief when he let her go, but she came to him and brought him back without getting herself hurt at all. Her touch, her scent, everything about her made him able to talk to her about it, because she knew it was hard for him and took it upon herself to make it easier. He pulled her into his arms and jumped to his feet, rushing off through Magnolia until they reached a clearing in the forest.

Lucy laughed as the wind whipped past them, and when he finally stopped, she looked around confused. "Gajeel, where are we?"

"Tell me something. Would you do anything to be my mate?" he asked, his red eyes boring into her.

There was no hint of humor in his voice, which let Lucy know the severity of the question he asked. She took the time to think it over. To really and truly consider what he was asking her. Though she felt like it lasted hours, in a matter of seconds she gave him her reply, "Yes, without a doubt."

He smirked down at her, placed a soft kiss on her lips, then set her steadily on her feet. "Well, Bunny Girl looks like you're going to have a long night ahead of you…"

So there it is! Let me know if you'd like another chapter! I'm not planning on making this more than two chapters though. If I continue it, then it'll be what happens in the guild afterwards and what happens to Gajeel and Lucy. Most likely steamy. *shifty eyes*

Review and all that! ~~GemNika.

Also, for anyone that didn't know the song he was singing, it's "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars. You can find it on youtube here: watch?v=jJT0Suanqhg