Dear Journal,

I am so unbelievably pissed right now. I mean, I don't understand how it happened. I was the smartest. I was the sexiest. I was the strongest. I was the tall-, okay maybe not that. But I was the most popular among the fanbase! And yet I was voted out FIRST in the latest season of Total Drama.

I... I digress. Sorry for the rage, journal. This deserves a bit of a backstory.

So the new season of Total Drama was announced, along with the plans to bring back every single contestant who ever competed, including myself.

Now, I was picked up from this beach, and brought to Pahta-pouda-pani-. Oh I don't give a beaver dam. I was sent to some island where all the contestants had already arrived. Some were swearing, some were fighting, some were swapping spit and honestly it made me cry. This is the world's future, folks. I predict once the older generation is gone it will take approximately five minutes before someone presses a wrong button cause they were being an idiot and boom, no more life on Earth. I guarantee that this will happen. But anyways, I got shoved off the dock like seventeen times, five of which was me rolling off on purpose so I could avoid Owen's shell-shattering hugs.

So the season starts and I ignore Chris spewing unneeded exposition that we already know because I hate him for drinking out of my body in TDA.

Then the challenge starts. Something about a race... I dunno, but everyone starts running so I roll after them until I fall into a ditch and stay there for the rest of the day until the end of the challenge when Chris declares that I'm the reason my team lost. Everyone glares at me and wish I could hurt Chris.

So the elimination ceremony comes and Chris tosses out coconuts as immunity items, which I find kind of racist towards all coconut kind. And then it comes down to me and that Zeke weirdo who's still feral. I think it's gonna be me, but somehow these teenagers wanted the freak over me.

Fantastic.

So I'm shot out of a canon, which sends me plummeting to the beach where I normally write these. So, that's nice I guess.

It's been a week since this happened. Owen, Leonard, and Staci have all joined me and this makes me want to cry and acquire some Ibuprofen for my new found migraine.

Happy fun times indeed.

Adios,

Mr. Coconut.

A/N - It's back! :D Hope you enjoyed! God bless!