Me- "Here I am with Ron Weasley, one of Harry's most best friends, in the lovely Gryffindor common room. How are you today, Mr. Weasley?"

Ron Weasley- "Fine and dandy."

Me- "Excellent. Let's get to it than, shall we? To my first question: did you have any worth-while friends before you met Harry Potter and Hermione Granger?"

Ron Weasley- "No, not really. There was this boy called Christopher Parker, but he wasn't very nice, friend-wise. He used to pull wisecracks because of my hair and-"

Me- "Fascinating! Don't tell me any more!"

Ron Weasley- *raises eyebrows* "Uh…"

Me- "Mr. Weasley, are you familiar with the Harry Potter series?"

Ron Weasley- "Pretty much."

Me- "Very well. Are you anything like your character? Do you portray his lack of wisdom and significant humorous-like impression?"

Ron Weasley- *sighs* "Actually, yes. I don't know if it's good or bad, but my character is just like me."

Me- *coughs into hand* "It's bad."

Ron Weasley- *blinks* "W-what's that?"

Me- *smiles pleasantly* "Nothing at all! Next question. You have read The Goblet of Fire, have you not?"

Ron Weasley- "No, I haven't gotten that far."

Me- *looking abashed* "Y-you haven't?"

Ron Weasley- "No…"

Me- "Well, you're missing a great deal. The way Joanne Rowling writes it, you look like a prat! *laughs*"

Ron Weasley- *red in the face* "What d'you mean?"

Me- "Well, with what happened to Harry in the Tournament, you seem so thoughtless and rude."

Ron Weasley- *looking amazed* "You know about that? How?"

Me- "The book, silly! *turns to the camera* It's obvious, my readers, that Harry isn't up to the challenge of telling his horrific story to his best friend."

Ron Weasley- *looking thoughtful* "Hummmmm…"

Me- *stares, looking angry* "Don't you dare, Ron Weasley, don't you dare think of that!"

Ron Weasley- "Excuse me?"

Me- "Do you realize how unhappy you made him, thinking that he entered himself into the Tournament? The fact that one of his best friends didn't believe him depressed him even more."

Ron Weasley- *stunned* "Where'd you see-"

Me- "HARRY POTTER AND THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT, THE FIFTH BOOK, RONALD WEASLEY!"

Ron Weasley- *looking afraid… very afraid* "Er… OK."

Me- "I wont allow you to get that book, Ron, for I don't think Harry would trust you to know what happened in that maze. But I, on the other hand, trust you more than I should. *shifts through papers in front of her* Ah, yes. Here it is *lifts up a large, red book with the picture of a boy and a dragon on the cover*"

Ron Weasley- *watching the cover. I'm not sure if he's fascinated about the still images or his friend on the cover*

Me- *flips through book and stops near the end* "Here we are. I'll read to you a portion of what happens to Harry… and Voldemort."

Ron Weasley- *gasps, clapping a hand to his mouth*

Me- *presses finger to lips warningly. Starts to read passage* "From far away, above his head, he heard a high, cold voice say, 'kill the spare.' A swishing noise and a second voice, which screeched into the words into the night: "Avada Kedavra"…a blast of light blazed through Harry's eyelids… Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside him. He was dead."

Ron Weasley- *making a gurgling noise, his mouth twitching*

Me- "Care to hear more? *flips a few pages* I will, then. Voldemort moved slowly forward, and turned to face Harry. He raised his wand. Crucio!"

Ron Weasley- *Mouthing wordlessly*

Me- "'It was pain beyond anything Harry had ever experienced; his bones were on fire; his head was surely splitting along his scar; his eyes were rolling to the back of his head; he wanted it to end… to black out… to die.' *looks at Ron, who's freckles have dissolved* That's enough, I think."

Ron Weasley- "Is t-there anything else y-you could tell me?"

Me-"Yes! There is! *flips through pages* I was just reading last night and I saw this part that I think you'll like. It's right on page four hundred. *finds the page and starts to read* 'I'd try putting it in the water is I were you.' Harry swallowed a considerable amount of bubbles in shock. He stood up, spluttering… 'Myrtle!' Harry said in an outrage. 'I'm-I'm not wearing anything!'"

Ron Weasley- *looking stunned* "Wha- er… uh… huh?"

Me- *still reading* "'He had never seen Moaning Myrtle so cheerful, apart from the day when Hermione's dose of Polyjuice had given her the hairy face and tail of a cat'."

Ron Weasley- "What was he thinking? Why was he… when did he… WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?"

Me- *turning to camera* "A passage from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Ron Weasley. It is on the shelves of millions of bookstores worldwide. Go to www.bloomsbury.com for more information! There, you will slip into the mind of Harry Potter himself!"

Ron Weasley- "Yeah, the dirty mind of Harry Potter! *turning red, like a cherry* I-I had NO IDEA! Where is he? Oh… I know. He's studying with Hermione. *claps a hand over his open mouth* H-HE'S WITH HERMIONE? AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! *jumps up and runs away, waving his arms and knocking several first years to the ground*

Me- "Well… he certainly misunderstood me. *smiles anyways* For those of your who are wondering, Harry Potter is not 'dirty' *laughs* I mean… why on earth would Ron get an idea like that? This interview is over."

…~'*'~…

            Harry Potter should drop Ron Weasley right away. Hermione should too, actually. He's just too… sick minded. Anyways, I hope Harry is still in mint condition so I could interview him. But at the moment, he's dodging flying book and inkwells (thrown by Ron) in the library while Hermione dances franticly on the spot, screaming insults at Ron. So right now, I'll have to find someone else to interview. You'll never guess who. I'll give you a hint: this man has a condition called 'can't-wash-hair-until-Potter-and-his-pathetic-friends-are-eliminated-while-quailing-under-my-furious-gaze' syndrome. Hey, what can I say? It's flu season. Anyway, I caught the Greaseball hiding his him dungeon. Hiding from whom, you ask? Who else? *knowing smile*