When they finally landed on solid ground (maybe a tad bit harder than necessary), Thor wasted absolutely no time in getting down to business. (He absolutely was not deriving the slightest bit of satisfaction in the way Loki lay winded in the rocks.) "Where is the Tesseract?"

"I think you broke my ass."

"Do I look to be in a gaming mood?"

"No, I'm serious. I think I felt something snap."

Thor growled and dropped Mjölnir on the ground with a loud clunk before pulling Loki to his feet. ("Ow, ow, not helping!") "I thought you dead."

"Not quite yet," Loki replied, wincing. "I made a concerned effort, but I'm glad it was all for naught. I'm actually rather enjoying myself. I think I may have found my true calling."

"You mean slaughtering the innocent—"

"Define 'innocent'."

"—and threatening their entire species with war?" Thor countered. "Who would call upon you to do that?"

Loki shifted uncomfortably. "I… may have made a few bargains here and there in my time away."

"Then you admit you have allied yourself with the Chitauri?"

"I admit to nothing."

Thor groaned. "What did these bargains consist of?"

"Before I delve into any details, answer me this," Loki said, grin returning to his face. "Have you ever had coffee?"

"What?"

Loki's face had returned to its usual psychotic glow. "Coffee! Surely you had some when the Allfather banished you."

"I… do not recall."

Something about the crestfallen expression on Loki's face had Thor feeling momentarily guilty. The last time he had seen such a look had been when he'd accidentally dropped Mjölnir on Loki's plate of cookies when they were children. Fortunately, Loki was now mature enough to refrain from sobbing in the corner for an hour.

"If you cannot remember, then you haven't had any," Loki reasoned.

"Or perhaps I have not taken it to the obsessive extreme that you have."

At this, Loki actually looked offended. "Have you never tried espresso ristretto?" he snapped. "Do not speak to me of 'obsession' until you have. There is a Starbucks not far from here and—"

"Loki, we are not making a Starbucks run."

"Fine then, there's a 7-11 down the road."

"No."

"You can't mean to brew your own from the garbage they stock at the supermarket! That's vile!"

Thor grabbed his brother by the shoulders and shook him. Hard. "Look at yourself!" he snapped.

"Yes, look at me indeed! Never have I felt so… alive!"

Self-control was not a thing Thor generally prided himself in. He had worked diligently to extend his patience in the past year, and the fact that he hadn't punched his brother (yet) was proof that his hard work was beginning to pay off. However, he was still a novice in the ancient art of Composure, so he hoped Loki would enjoy "feeling alive" while he still could.

"You have allied yourself with the Chitauri—the Chitauri, brother!—and invaded Midgard, solely for this beverage you have taken an unhealthy liking to." Thor held Loki's gaze for a moment, then shook his head. "I would attempt reasoning with you, but you appear to be beyond that." Loki smirked. "So I will have to resort to threats. Either give up the Tesseract, or I will personally see to it that you will never have so much as drop of coffee again in your life."

That seemed to get Loki's attention. "I don't have it," he said. "Thor… brother… you can't do this!"

"I can, and I shall," Thor replied stubbornly.

Loki fidgeted nervously. "I… I can get it. Find it, at any rate. But it will take time."

"How much time?"

"Several hours. Perhaps sooner, if I had some—"

Thor shook his head. "I will not permit you any more of this poisonous drink."

"Poison?!" Loki exclaimed, aghast. "It is the farthest thing from poison. Taste it." Thor had no idea where Loki had been hiding the flask he now held in his hand, but centuries of experience had taught him not to ask.

"Put that away."

"Just taste it."

"No."

"Just a sip?"

"Stop it!"

"I'll persuade you."

"Brother, I am warning you…"

Whatever threat Thor was about to utilize was cut short as Loki pressed their mouths together in what could almost have been a heated kiss, if it hadn't been for the literal 'heated' part as Thor's mouth was flooded with the coffee Loki hadn't swallowed. The thunder god pulled back, spitting the coffee into the dirt. Loki looked as though someone told him the tooth fairy had been raped by Santa's reindeer.

"I have had enough of your games, Loki!" Thor snapped. "You will find the Tesseract now, or I'll—"

Thor was cut off mid-sentence as Iron Man collided into him, carrying him off into the distance. Loki blinked and looked around before downing the remaining contents of his coffee flask. He had a feeling it would be a long night.