Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental multi-fandom project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 14 September.

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. Some minor references to "NCIS" episode 4.3 'Singled Out'.

Timeframe; some time in Season Two.
Pairings: Implied, just about all of them... But definite Spark towards the end.

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"Doubled Up"
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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They had started appearing shortly after Daedalus had left Atlantis the last time, pictures of people that did not exist. The first picture to appear was that of a girl with the name 'Sheyla Sheppard' under her picture. The Lieutenant Colonel recieved some questioning looks because of the name, especially after one of the scientists made the observation that the girl in the picture bore a resemblence to Teyla Emmergen, an observation that many found themselves agreeing with. The next picture to appear, a week later, didn't last as long on the wall, but caused even more questions; the fact that the picture depicted a child that looked like Rodney McKay with blonde hair and blue eyes had the scientist facing the Ronan-inquisition. The Satedan was actually disappointed when it turned out that not only was McKay not behind the pictures, but didn't know anything about them. The minor dislocation of Rodney's arm when he asked about having the picture to prove to Colonel Carter that their genes would produce superior offspring was easily treated in the infirmary while Doctor Weir had the picture burned and the ashes tossed into the ocean, just to be sure it was disposed of before Sam Carter could possibly hear of it. The third picture disappeared even more quickly than the second did, rumors claiming it did so because the person pictured had the hyphenated surname of 'Weir-McKay'. There was no physical evidence available to prove it, but Doctor Weir's mood around the time the rumors started did much to confirm them.

By the time the fourth picture appeared, the Expedition had begun to expect them, though her fellow Marines would refuse to let Laura Cadman live it down when the scientists managed to figure out that the 'mother' for the pictured 'Lauren McKay' was her. At least until chocolate was used to bribe Colonel Sheppard into arranging 'remedial CQB training' with Ronon and Teyla for the offenders. The comments didn't actually stop, but they became less blatant and openly-made, which Cadman could live with, especially after a 'girls' night in' with Elizabeth to get over their respective 'pairings' with McKay.

The second month of pictures started with one that caused a great deal of embarrassed glances, some blushing and even a few knowing looks among the Expedition; one of the women on Atlantis summed it up best with the simple comment that "Teyla and Ronon would make cute babies." Some of the men began to talk nervously among themselves about the sudden upswing in maternal thoughts being caused by these pictures after that. As amusing as the pictures might have been to some, for others they were considered insulting or even discomforting, and although they didn't know it, the person behind the pictures soon had two of Atlantis' more intelligent and determined residents doing their best to figure out who they were.

It was the middle of the Atlantean night and only one person was on duty in the control room. That was just the way they liked it, it made it easier to pass the time when they didn't have to worry about what other people - superiors included and especially - would thing of what they were doing. For their own amusement, they fed two pictures from the personnel files into their program and watched as it generated the result in its first stages; a chubby-cheeked infant.

"If the Ancients left behind anything that could make a man pregnant," the person commented, "I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up meeting you... The way those two fuss and fight, some people have started to wonder if they're not trying to hide something already. But anyway, what to name you, kiddo? Marion, maybe? It's usually thought of as Maid Marion from the 'Robin Hood' legend, but a great actor was born Marion before he changed his name to John; that'd be good to name you after them both, wouldn't it?"

"So who would be the 'mother?" A voice cut out of the shadows, causing the person at the computer to jump, "Because I tell you, the thought of pickle-and-ice cream cravings kinda creeps me out and Rodney's mood swings are already bad enough..."

"Co-col-Colonel Sheppard," the gate technician commonly known as Chuck stammered, "What are you doing here?"

"Come on, Chuck," John stepped out of the shadows and into the light, "I'm not as stupid as people give me credit for. It had to be someone good with computers, someone we don't really notice no matter how often we see them, and someone with no reason to directly fear anyone they were targeting with those pictures... oh, yeah, and someone with plenty of free time, let's not forget that, either. Start talking, Chuck. It might mean the difference between 'training' with Ronan and just scrubbing the Gateroom with a toothbrush..."

"A friend I have who works for the American Navy," Chuck gulped, "She sent me the program. It's called MorphPro - you just have to load a photo and you can do all kinds of things to it; age progression, regression, change eye and hair color, different features... and if you load two people's photos, you can morph them together into what their child might look like. Her boyfriend used the program to have some fun with their co-workers and with the way the rumor mill works on Atlantis, when she sent me the program with the last Daedalus shipment, I thought I could do the same thing here."

"What do you mean, 'the way the rumor mill works on Atlantis', exactly?" John folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at the gate technician.

Chuck winced, sure he had talked himself into a Ronan-session with that remark, "Everybody's always pairing people up with whatever excuse they can find, even if some of the couples they come up with are ridiculously unlikely... I just thought I'd have some fun with the ideas. I'd hear rumors about Doctors McKay and Weir or Doctor McKay and Lieutenant Cadman... or you and Teyla, Colonel... and I'd use MorphPro to make pictures of... well, of what could come from the relationship, I guess you could say... please don't let Ronan kill me..."

"What others have you heard rumors about, Chuck?"

"...Colonel?"

"You heard me, who else have you heard rumors about being a couple? Who else have you done pictures of 'their children'?"

"I... I don't know if I should..."

"Oh, come on," John interrupted, "You shouldn't have from the beginning, but you have been. Who else, Chuck?"

The gate technician mumbled something that to John sounded like "...Shweir..."

John cleared his throat, "What was that?"

"Yourself and Doctor Weir," Chuck admitted, "I mean, I've heard rumors, but I didn't do anything!"

John looked at Chuck for a minute, his eyes drifting over to the computer's screen before returning to the technician.

"Do it."

"What?"

"You heard me," John waved a hand at Chuck's computer, "If I hadn't caught you tonight, you would've done it anyway sooner or later - what would mine and Elizabeth's child look like?"

"I can't!"

"Why not, Chuck? Are you scared of what she'll do when she finds out?"

"Yes!" Chuck admitted.

"Good," John smirked, "You should be. And since you're already in trouble anyway, especially with that one of her and McKay, you might as well go all the way, huh?"

Chuck found himself wincing, it was one thing to do this for his own amusement when he was alone, it was something entirely different to do it when someone else was looking over his shoulder while he worked. Carefully, he cleared the current result and moved the program back to the photo selection stage, then opened the Atlantis Expedition's personnel files to replace McKay's picture in the program with that of Doctor Weir. As he began to work the settings, Chuck winced again...

"Any requests," the technician paused to ask over his shoulder.

John frowned at him, "Requests?"

"Boy or girl?" Chuck clarified.

"How do you normally do it?" John asked.

"I've... been doing both, then putting up the pictures of whichever one turns out the best," Chuck admitted.

John thought for a moment, "Make it a girl - with Elizabeth's eyes."

"Whatever you say, Colonel," Chuck muttered before entering the commands and watching as the program pulled the pictures of the two 'parents' down and morphed them together according to the given parameters, creating another image of an infant, this time with eyes that matched those of Elizabeth Weir.

"Babies are always cute," John remarked, "How about showing her at age... eleven?"

Chuck sighed tensely and typed in another command, leaving them to watch as the pictured girl aged through her first ten years of life until she stopped as an eleven year old with her father's untamed hair and her 'mother's' eyes.

"Well, now, that's not a bad combination," a new voice observed, causing both men to turn and look.

"Doctor Weir," Chuck wondered if all the nervous gulping he found himself doing was going to permanently damage his throat.

John took a quick breath, "Uh, Elizabeth... We were just..."

"I'm sure you were, Colonel," Elizabeth responded before looking at Chuck, "I think you can call it a night, Colonel Sheppard and I need to have a talk, it seems, so we can finish out the watch..."

"Yes, ma'am," Chuck answered, trying casually to shut the program down.

"You can leave that running," Elizabeth stopped him, "It's part of what we're going to discuss."

Chuck stood up and took a deep breath, "Colonel... Doctor..."

Back in his quarters, when Chuck thought about it, he decided that when he told the story, he would have to make sure his exit didn't sound as much like he almost ran out of the room as had really happened.

Once he was sure that Chuck was good and away, John looked at Elizabeth and raised an eyebrow, "'Not a bad combination'?"

"A girl with my eyes?" Elizabeth shot back.

"Uh, yeah," John looked at her nervously, "About that..."

"It makes it sound as if you like my eyes," the Expedition's leader remarked.

"And if, um... what if I do?" John asked carefully.

Elizabeth's eyes met his, "Then it would definitely have a bearing on our conversation, John."