A/N: And now... the conclusion.

CHAPTER 18 – So Carry On, My Wayward Son

Castiel sat on the tailgate of his favorite truck, staring up at the night sky. He wasn't brooding, necessarily, nor worrying; for the moment, he was just there, enjoying the fact that he was still alive and didn't have the threat of demon attack hanging over his head, and he now had a way to fight against the evil that scarred him. There was a rustle, inaudible to human ears, as he spread his wings out in the ethereal plane to allow the feathers to stretch.

He'd come so far since the night in the hotel, when those wings had first revealed themselves without his intent; Cas didn't feel like the same angel. He'd been doing everything he could just to survive, back then, but now he felt like he was actually doing alright. Castiel had everything he needed, though by human standards he had… well, nothing. He had defeated his demons, though, turning his weakness into a weapon.

"Cas."

The angel turned at the sound of Dean's voice, seeing the Winchesters coming to stand beside him. Dean was carrying a 6-pack of beer. Cas readily accepted the bottle he was handed. The hunters joined him on the tailgate, each of the three sitting in companionable silence for a long moment as they sipped the beer and watched the stars.

It was comfortable, and comforting, to just sit there in each other's presence and drink, though Sam finally broke the silence.

"I'm sorry about Jareb."

Cas sighed, nodding. "So am I."

One of Dean's eyebrows lifted. He turned to Cas with the bottle halfway up to his lips. "You know you did everything you could, right? He destroyed himself."

Castiel knew, but at the same time it was still a tragedy that could have been avoided. "I suppose."

"Cas, you heard him," Sam murmured as Dean and Cas both took a long sip of beer. "He didn't want your help. You just can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. You can't. That's not on you."

"I know." And he did, in a way. Cas exhaled slowly, shaking his head. "It's just…" he added, both Dean and Sam pausing to look at him. "That could have been me. Jareb was a good angel. But after what Heaven did to him… he was completely alone. He didn't have anyone to take him in. He didn't have anyone to catch him, to help him get back on his feet, or to just give a damn. I just wonder, if not for you two… couldn't I have turned into the same thing?"

Dean and Sam both nodded in understanding, the three taking another drink, watching the sky some more. They seemed to be mulling over his words, because Dean finally said, "You know… you do have us, but don't sell yourself short, Cas."

"Dean's right. We might have been there, but we didn't make your choices for you. That was you. You could have chosen to listen to Lucifer instead of us."

"But Jareb didn't have any other voice to choose between," Castiel pointed out. "He had all that pain, but no one to tell him he could be something more than that, like you did for me. No one prayed for him to come back. No one called him their friend or gave him any reason to believe there was something more than just Lucifer's corruption. No one told him how proud they were of him, or..." He trailed off, not going further into everything the boys had shared with him when they'd touched his wings.

None of them had mentioned that experience yet; somehow, it just ran deeper than words. Cas's marvel and undying gratitude couldn't be expressed in some paltry human words like "thank you". What they had added to his soul meant more to him than his own life, the most precious of all his memories, the most treasured of flashbacks that still occasionally surprised him with a supportive affirmation.

"It was still his choice, Cas," Dean reminded him now, though his voice had softened. "Man, I hear you, having support has gotta make it easier, but you'd been fighting the good fight long before you met us."

"Face it, Cas," Sam finished for his brother. "You and Jareb both came to the same fork in the road, but when it was down to the wire, he went one way and you went the other. Sure, you could have ended up like him, but you didn't, simple as that. And it's not like you didn't have enough chances to go dark side."

Cas looked between them, then slowly nodded. He was still saddened and shaken by what had happened to Jareb, wishing he could have done more to help the angel, wishing things had been different. But they weren't, and that was that. Jareb had become evil, and he hadn't wanted to be saved. Many others would have been killed if they hadn't stopped him. Suddenly, Cas winced, turning his head slightly and rubbing his temples.

"Cas?" Dean asked in concern, eyebrow quirking up once more.

"On the subject of dark side," muttered Cas. "I believe Lucifer has discovered what happened. He's talking to me." He paused, listening to Lucifer's voice, before quickly shutting him out with a wince. Lucifer's true danger wasn't in his blade or his grace, but in the sinister power of destructive words - for words could destroy what kingdoms had built. "Sam, he truly believes he's going to claim you eventually."

"Well, he's gonna be waiting a long time, then," Sam snorted as Dean muttered dark threats against the devil. "I'm not giving in to him."

"Of course you're not," agreed Dean, eyes sparking with fight and fire. "So Lucifer can just go straight back to hell!"

Castiel couldn't stop the short, surprised laugh, catching Sam and Dean's attention again. They looked at him questioningly, but he could only shake his head. "You two," he murmured in admiration. "Sam… the angels have always been completely wrong about you. I don't know why none of them can see it."

Sam looked surprised, but grateful, at his friend's words. He shrugged and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Your resiliency, Sam. I admire it. You and Dean… you both represent humanity's greatest strength."

"Our charm and good looks?" Dean offered with a smooth smile, making Sam roll his eyes. Castiel just shook his head again, replying,

"No. Your ability to carry on, against all odds. I've watched humans from the beginning, and no matter what gets thrown at you… humans have always just kept going, regardless. No matter what, you don't give up. You adapt, you carry on, more so than any other species. It's… it's quite remarkable, actually. But you two especially, you represent that for all of humankind."

Cas wasn't given to offering praise, and it took Dean and Sam both by surprise. Dean rubbed the back of his head, feeling a bit flushed at the compliment. He didn't know that it was necessarily true, but it was nice to hear.

On the subject of things that might be nice to hear…

"Look, Cas, something I've been meaning to say, ever since the basement," Dean muttered, kicking at the dusty ground awkwardly. He saw a flash of trepidation on Cas's face, and quickly added, "I mean, after Jareb said all that crap about you. You know, you're not broken, and you're not a mistake."

Castiel blinked in surprise, but slowly nodded his appreciation at the remark. Dean wanted more than acknowledgement though, he wanted Cas to believe it as strongly as he himself did.

"Seriously. I mean… I don't even believe in all that crap about "destiny", but one thing I do know is that me and Sammy were always gonna need an angel on our side, and… I think it was always supposed to be you. Yeah, you're different, Cas, but your kind of different is exactly what we needed. Not a superpowered archangel douchebag… a regular soldier with enough guts and heart to fight for us even after he'd been tortured nine frickin' times. Call it fate, call it luck, call it God, I don't even know, but what I do know is that you were what we needed, and you wouldn't have rebelled to help us if you hadn't always been different."

This was such a chick-flick moment, but Dean pushed through, managing to look up and meet their angel square in the eye as he finished, "So you aren't a mistake, Cas, and you're not a flaw. You're proof that the man upstairs made at least one angel exactly right."

Dean watched as Cas blinked, taken aback. He stared at the hunter, apparently lost for words, but Dean saw a suspicious looking moisture in the angel's eyes. Dean must have gotten his point across, and now it was time to end this chick-flick chat before someone started thinking he was going soft. Cas could think on what he'd said on his own time, when Dean wouldn't have to get stuck with the sappiness.

"Anyway, moment's over," he quickly blurted out, making Sam snort in exasperation and Castiel smile fondly. "So, I think that means it's time for a movie night. Come on, Cas, beer and popcorn and The Expendables!"

"The Expendables?" Sam instantly protested. "Really, Dean? I swear, the only thing worse than your taste in music is your taste in movies."

"Oh, and what do you want to watch, Less Miserables?" Dean shot back, deliberately butchering the pronunciation just to irritate Sam. Predictably, Sam swiveled towards him and snapped with a perfect bitch-face,

"It's Les Miserables!"

"It's a pansy movie!"

"It's art!"

"Dude, you're so gay." The argument was pointless, but Cas was smiling, and Sam was snorting in exasperation, and Dean had everything he needed, right there with his strange little family and their broken little pieces. Cas had a long, difficult road to go, but he was finally on his feet again, and Sammy was still holding out against Lucifer, and even though they weren't out of danger - they would never be out of danger - for at least tonight, everything was ok.

"But I wanna stay with you, Mr. Angel…"

Zoey's voice was filled to the brim with sadness and disappointment, and her eyes were the same puppy dog expression that had driven Cas to the brink of insanity before. It was so hard to resist (God, it was hard to resist), but they all knew it had to be done. Zoey was out of danger now – no demon in the world would dare go after her, knowing that Castiel would be keeping an eye out.

She deserved far better than any life they could give her, they all knew that. It was only a matter of time before Nathaniel came to ask her permission to use her as his vessel, the only remaining member of the bloodline, but in the meantime, she could enjoy years more of her life without the demons and monsters that they constantly faced.

Castiel knelt down in front of the little girl, taking her hands and meeting her eyes seriously. "I'm going to take you back to your hometown, Zoey," he explained again. "Your father had a cousin there who can take care of you."

Zoey's lower lip trembled, and tears filled her eyes. She collapsed forward to wrap herself around Cas's neck, sniffling into his shoulder. The two hunters watched, both surprised at how much they were going to miss the little ball of energy.

"Do you think… should you wipe her memory?" Sam asked hesitantly, but Dean answered for Cas.

"No point, she's only four. She won't remember half of this anyway." Besides, the little she would remember might give her a bit of a leg up when Nathaniel did come to call.

"Now, Zoey, if you're ever in trouble or need my help… call for me," Castiel insisted, blue eyes revealing how emotional this parting was going to be for him. "Do you remember my name?"

With another sniffle, Zoey wiped her arm across her face to remove the tears, and nodded, replying, "Yeah. Mr. Angel."

Cas looked heavenward and took a breath as Sam and Dean both snickered, but then he snorted softly in laughter and nodded, giving in at last. "That's right, I'm Mr. Angel. If you ever need me, just say a prayer for me to come and I'll be there. Terriel and I will both be watching. Okay?"

"But I wanna stay with you, and Uncle Bobby, and Sam an' Dean."

"This life isn't for you. Not yet. Just remember, Zoey… you saved my life." Castiel smiled softly, and murmured, "The world's smallest hero."

Another tear dripped down Zoey's cheek, and she huffed in obvious displeasure that she wasn't getting what she wanted – but there was nothing else for it. Wiping her face again, she peeped up at Cas and shyly asked, "Mr. Angel?"

"What, Zoey." The long suffering tone like that of a parent.

"Can I see your wings?"

Of course she would have to ask that one more time before they left, but Cas didn't protest. Instead, he took a quick breath, then pulled his trench coat and dress shirt off his shoulders enough to allow the glorious wings to shimmer into view, choosing not to materialize the ethereal armor with them this time. Zoey's expression instantly lit up and she beamed with delight.

Castiel didn't pull away when her chubby little hand reached out, stroking the feathers with the same childlike innocence and awe as before. His eyes fell closed, breathing in as her emotions and feelings and purity wove around his soul in dazzling tendrils of light that burned into his being. She was so sad to say goodbye; she loved her angel, her protector, her comforter, her light. He was telling her to call him if she was ever in trouble; he wouldn't abandon her, and she trusted him. Trust. Hope. Safety.

"Time to go, Zoey," Cas gently urged her after a long moment, voice gruff to cover up the emotion. She sighed as his wings slipped back into the ethereal plane, and then he stood.

And so, Cas had risen above the demons that haunted him, both within and without. The scars would never go away; scars never did… but that was okay, because being scarred and being broken were two very different things.

Among demons, the story became well known… the story of Castiel, the angel with wings made of swords and steel. Castiel, the fallen angel who chose the humans. Castiel... God's wayward son. The very name made them tremble in fear, and they whispered among themselves that they'd heard he could kill a demon with just a touch of his wings. None would dare try to find him; there was a spell, it was said, that would reveal his wings, and all record of that spell was quickly destroyed. Any who were unfortunate enough to come face to face with the angel and the two hunters who were always at his side prudently heeded the warning of their brethren.

They ran.

There were others who had seen the angel face to face, but the stories of children are written off as dreams and nothing more. If any had listened to the stories, they might have noticed it was always the same: a fearsome man with brilliant wings, an angel, who saved the children (always the children) from the monsters, both supernatural and human. The children, innocent and awed, always wanted to just reach out and touch those gleaming feathers as soon as the armor disappeared, and he always allowed them to.

Sometimes, he would even let them wrap their tiny arms around him in a grateful hug, and his wings would sweep around to blanket them in comfort and protection.

Sometimes, there would be tears in his eyes, as his defenses were fortified by the pure hope of children: more voices to stand against the scars on his soul. The flashbacks rarely found enough ground among all the positive voices to take hold, and the hallucinations dwindled and then stopped altogether.

And so they carry on.

The battle between light and dark continued every day, both the unending war between the hunters and the monsters as well as the constant struggle that Cas faced within. The imprint of evil couldn't be erased, couldn't be cured – what was done, was done, and couldn't be undone – but it could be overcome and overwhelmed by light.

See, there are two wolves that live in each of us. One is darkness; it is fear, anger, hatred, guilt, vengeance, despair. One is light; it is forgiveness, strength, friendship, family, hope. The two wolves battle daily, and sometimes the fight is very terrible.

But the wolf that wins is the one you feed.

Fin

A/N: Sometimes, having just one person who's willing to be there and listen and remind you that you're tougher than you think can make all the difference. Yes, inner strength is essential, but a support system can mean everything. Some of you might not have ever heard someone tell you that they believe in you or that you CAN beat this. Consider this as that voice. I'm always a PM away if you need some support, I'm pretty good at non-judgmental listening!

Thank you SO MUCH to my reviewers who've made this a real joy for me! Thanks especially to Aini NuFire, who was the most marvelous and patient beta who pushed me to consider things such as anatomically impossible situations and the necessity of complete sentences XD Thanks also to VattaKeto, SPN Mum, randomcupofnoodles, BranchSuper, Zoeblum, Lady Wallace, Mummabro, Trucklady53, everyone who sent a PM (for privacy's sake, you know who you are ^_^), and everyone who followed or favorited. :)

I can't believe it's over... until next time, my friends! ^_^