Part Seven - Loving you forever can't be wrong

Raina looked back down the empty corridor and took a deep breath. She knocked and entered quickly without waiting for the door to click shut behind her.

Coulson stood in the middle of the room, looking absolutely pristine in a grey suit and tie: he looked tired though, and his skin was greyer more translucent than she had witnessed before, the lines around his eyes more pinched, the area beneath them darker. Still Raina's eyes filled with tears at the sight. He smiled self-consciously at her and held out his hands to her. She immediately went to him, and he pulled her into a tight hug. She gripped hard onto the fabric of his suit, her head resting protected on his shoulder. He pushed her to arm's length after a moment to speak to her, "How did you get away?"

"I..." She hesitated for a second, her eyes darting away in guilt.

It wasn't long before another voice cut across the room, "She didn't."

Coulson's eyes snapped up to met the voice.

Clint Barton stood in the doorway. He looked just as pale as Coulson, his face sharper than in the publicity flyers she had seen on the side of buildings, in magazines, on the television, it seemed no matter where you turned, the Avengers came piling out at you.

He was standing though, which was more than last time Coulson had seen him. The former Director of S.H.I.E.L.D looked up and down at the man as if trying to work out how. Barton, himself stared equally hard at his long dead friend, drinking in the sight in disbelief. It had taken Raina a long time to try and explain the situation to Barton, under threat, she might add. It wasn't until she tried to clarify what was happening that she realised that she didn't have many facts; Coulson hadn't been over generous with the explanations. It had worked though to get her out of the situation without the heavy clunk of jailer's keys. But it had come at the price of betraying the man in front of her but he had left her in a position where she had little other choice. It was clear he had doubted the fact that Phil Coulson would be whole and unmarked the next time he saw him if he got there early enough.

"Fuck, Phil," he breathed unabashedly staring.

"Clint," he answered, eyes wide in disbelief.

"I'm sorry; it was the only way," Raina apologised; she watched like a spectator at a tennis match from one end to the other. Coulson gave her a brief frown before turning his attention back to the man still standing in the doorway. Barton reached up to the door frame and used his arms to start swinging his leg up and into motion, a whirling mechanical sound could be heard as he moved towards the pair slowly and awkwardly, eyes never leaving his former handler.

Coulson's eyes bulged, and he whispered, "Deathlok?"

Barton smirked, "Similar, although I'm sure that Tony would insist that his technology outstrips anyone else's. I'm not very steady on them yet, but these babies," Clint knocked his fist on his legs with a dull thud, "aren't permanently fixed," he laughed as he gibed, "so chances of me turning evil are minimal apparently."

He drew up to stand in front of Phil, and Raina moved away watching the two interestedly.

"Although," he said as he swung his arm up quickly, his fist bunched in line with Coulson face, the punch would have surely sent him flying, but Raina's startle call intermixed with Phil's hand racing up to catch Clint's fist in his palm.

"You always did telegraph that move, Clint," Coulson said dryly.

"You bastard, you were alive all that time and you didn't get in touch." Clint was too quick this time and on legs that had appeared stiff and uncoordinated a few seconds ago he spun and outstretched a leg taking Coulson's legs straight out from under him and sending his body thundering to the ground with a crash. "You're an utter shit, Coulson," he commented standing over him.

"You have been dipping into my fucking DVD collection again haven't you, all you need is a walking cane and top hat," Coulson grumbled, moaning as he shifted on his backside.

Barton pulled a 'whatever' face and sang, "There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination."

"I knew it," Coulson sighed, "no doubt you warbled your way through. I wondered what happened to them all."

"Apart from Wonker, The Wizard of Oz and High Society, the rest is crap. I gave them away with the rest of your shit, you jerk. I should have realised you weren't fucking dead when your beloved Stevie collection wasn't part of your crappy stuff that got handed over in a S.H.I.E.L.D issue cardboard box. No fucking car keys to 'precious' either." Barton looked down at the frowning man, the car jibes always hit home; he probably would have laughed if he hadn't been so obviously furious. "And don't," he punctuated the words with a jab of his finger in Coulson's direction, "think you can get round me, you asshole, by trying to divert my attention away from the fact you are the biggest fucking liar on the planet..."

"Universe," Raina piped up.

"Huh?" Barton's head turned and frowned at her.

"Well, he is Mister Universe now, so planets are a little small fry for him," she shrugged.

Barton took a second looking at her, his eyebrows flicking up, a smirk trying to break out, before he regained control of his lips and turned back to glare at the man in front of him. Coulson sent his own angry glance over to Raina, who shrugged her shoulders in enjoyment, "Right," Barton responded, "the biggest fucking liar in the universe, by tapping into my innermost love of musicals. Douche bag!"

"I'm sorry," Phil said seriously, "I..." He swallowed as he looked up guiltily, "it was months before I was even coherent, they..." He swallowed again looking down at the floor, shaking his head, "it doesn't matter, I should have insisted that you were told but Fury, he kept telling me..."

"Sure let's blame Fury," Clint waved his hands in the air, "he can't answer back anymore."

Phil raised his eyebrows at him in surprise, "Why?" Phil questioned.

Clint swallowed, "You know he is dead, right?"

"So was I," Coulson muttered looking away.

Clint threw his arms up and turned and walked away, "Aw fuck, what is it with you lot? You think it's amusing to treat people like this, I thought we had more than that Phil?"

"We did; we do, Clint, if I could have gotten to you..."

"Fine," Barton walked back to stand in front of him, and sighed" I can accept, well, Raina told me a few things that they did to you," he admitted grimacing at the thought.

The man on the floor eyes looked up hopefully.

Clint grumbled under his breath, or it could have been his teeth grinding Raina wasn't sure.

"When you got the Bus, you should have come though; no one had your hands tied then," he looked dispassionately down at the man still sat on the floor, who looked crestfallen and guilty once again.

"I know, it's unforgivable but I couldn't trust myself Clint, I wasn't sure about my memories, I couldn't be certain about anything. I wasn't fit to be in your company."

Raina moved herself into the corner out of the eye shot of the two men. She supposed she should leave the room but human interaction was just so fascinating, and these two were putting on such a good show.

She noticed Barton shake his head in denial at Coulson's words.

Raina had spent a lifetime watching people, studying their movement, and facial tells, mostly so she didn't let any through herself. Her facade had slipped more with Coulson in this intimate little room and the rather disastrous road trip they had taken last time than it had in her entire adult life. Coulson face was, open, easy to read, oh, out on the job he had his 'Agent' face, the famous bland expression, but even that wouldn't hold under extreme pressure. It didn't mean he lost control though; it was almost like something had to give, his face because his pressure value and he channelled his frustration into that. Raina had never met him before New York and his stabbing. She'd heard that he was different now, her only recent connections with that time were the rebel S.H.I.E.L.D agents Ward and Garrett. Ward, who hadn't known him either but knew of his reputation and Garrett, whose language had been oddly fond and colourful of the man.

You would have to be blind not to be able to read him now.

The eyes always held all the answers of course, and that was why she tried to keep hers wide and innocent: Coulson's were blown and imploring. Regret and guilt oozing out of them much like the blood that usually slipped from his skin, but it was too early in the day for that. He looked like the handsome man he was now, the one that had made Barton inhale sharply and stare admiringly as he walked in, the one that was out there somewhere fighting the good fight. All the while changing, evolving into the being now sitting on the dusty floor, scared of losing something he never quite had and lonely enough to risk trusting her. Evolution was funny like that.

"You don't understand," Coulson muttered, staring at the floor, sounding more unsure of himself than she had ever heard.

"Then tell me," Barton said shoving his hands in his pockets with frustration to stop them flying round.

"I was compromised ever since I came back," he lifted his head to meet Barton's eye, "if it were you, would you want Natasha in the middle of that?"

"No," Barton sighed with understanding. "No I wouldn't, but you and me..."

"You and me, what?" Coulson shook his head, "you and me denied ourselves because we thought our jobs were more important. Well, news flash Clint, the world is still turning, and neither of us is saving the world for S.H.I.E.L.D or the Avengers now are we?"

"Technically you are still doing your..." Raina didn't finish the sentence when Coulson's hand shot out in her direction with one finger outstretched in warning. She pouted and leaned further back on the wall, she didn't enjoy being ignored even if this was rather entertaining, muttering that he was 'keeping the world turning too.'

Clint held out his arms in an obvious offer to help Phil up; Coulson looked a little unsurely at the man with his arms out, his eyes raking over the legs that hadn't worked last time he saw him.

"It's okay, I really was only playing with you, I can pretty much tap dance like Fred Astaire with these babies. I can also do my job so, technically," he bowed slightly at Raina, in amusement, "we would seem to both still be doing are jobs."

"Oh," Phil looked disappointed for a second before he schooled his features, "that's...good, that's great Clint," he smiled at smile that didn't reach his eyes. He grabbed hold of the offered hands and between them they hauled him to his feet. When Barton didn't immediately let go of his hands, Phil quickly tracked his eyes down to where the other man was looking, and snatching his hands back, as a jagged rip opened up across the skin.

"Sorry," Phil mumbled stalking away.

"Raina told me what would happen." Clint said his voice still slightly shocked, as his eyes slid down with sickening fascination to the weeping hand.

Coulson gripped tight onto the back of the chair facing away from them both. "It was good seeing you, Clint."

Barton glanced over at Raina who looked equally puzzled by the dismissive tone in the older man's voice.

"Phil?"

Coulson turned with a smile plastered on his face, but the hand on the chair was still torturing the fabric with its grip, "I'm really proud of you, Clint, you've battled back like you always do. I hope you continue to make such good progress. The Avengers are lucky to have you."

"Ah, thanks boss."

"I'm not your boss anymore, Clint," Phil answered solemnly.

"No you're not," Clint took a hesitate step forward, hands not quite reaching out, "which is why I'm here, this is our chance now."

Coulson shook his head, "It's too late," he smiled mockingly, "you know long distance relationships never work." He looked away from them both, "besides I'm not coming back this time."

Raina's eyes bulged at the revelation, but she kept her silence.

Barton took slow steps forward, these ones not so hesitant, his posture straighter, determined, angry again, "You have got to be fucking with me, you turn up, send my world spiralling again and what now, you're just going to piss off to the land of," he waved his hands around angrily, his eyes piercing into the guilty ones across the ever decreasing space, "fucking nod or wherever the fuck you claim to go. Oh no," he shook his head vehemently, as he squared up to man pushing into his space, staring him down. "You ain't just going to leave me hanging here, not again Coulson!"

"And what would you have me do, Clint?" Phil's voice not much more than a sad breath whispered into Clint ear.

It was angry, and vicious, and bruising and wet. It demanded more than thrilled, it elicited a tiny squeak out of the woman watching, and it was returned with none of anger or demand but with the feelings of a desperate lonely man, until that man pushed away from the kiss, with a despairing cry, "Don't please, please don't."

Raina swallowed, she had heard that tone before, she had caused that sound before, 'please let me die, let me die, let me die'.

Coulson had managed to shove the stronger man away from himself and had backed himself into the corner near the window, bent over as if he were winded, taking gulps of air as if Clint Barton had sucked every last drop of air from his lungs.

"Oh shit, no Phil, fuck, I'm sorry, I thought we were... I thought," his words jumbled out, "I didn't, I wouldn't force... FUCK!" Clint wiped at his face furiously.

Raina watched like a silent statue, scared to move in case she was noticed, the real life soap opera played out in front of her making her want to reach out to both of them. Barton - who she could see was clearly crying now - she hadn't known long; he been decent to her, he could have easily turned her over to the authorities and Coulson: Coulson had fundamentally changed her, in ways she wasn't even ready to admit to herself.

The man in question was straightening looking across at the younger man as he rubbed at his face, Coulson's face crumpled in on its self as he watched, "No, Clint, no, never that." He made his way back over to him and pulled him into his arms.

Clint immediately wrapped his arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder, "I've missed you so much."

"I'm so sorry, Clint," he pulled back a fraction and looked into Clint's tear lined eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't offer you anything, I can't keep coming back, it takes too much," he sighed wearily, "there are things going on just in this galaxy that are becoming harder and harder to control, I need to focus on that and the power it takes to..."

"Magically appear in a cloud of smoke," Clint tried to find some humour.

"Yes, something like that," Phil returned with his own watery smile. He raised his hand, his palm resting on Clint's face, the archer leaning into the hand like a cat seeking fuss. His body unconsciously tilting towards the touch.

"I don't want you to go, Phil. I love you, I always have."

Coulson pulled him back into a hug, his eyes closing slowly, the hand that had caressed Clint's face coming round to weave his fingers into the short hair at the back of Barton head.

Clint sighed and sadly said, "But you don't feel the same, I understand."

Phil jerked back, "What, no, god, no, that's not... I backed away because I can't bear to have come so close to having you," he stared down at Clint's full lips, licking his unconsciously, "to have to walk away will be insufferable, do you understand?" Phil's hand came up once again to touch Clint's face, fingers skirting over his cheek, rubbing across his brow into the hair at his temples.

Clint's hand came up to wrap around Phil's, pulling it away from his face, kissing the knuckles, "Take me with you, I know you can, Raina told me."

Raina could almost feel the angry glare even though she had turning away from the intimate scene.

"No, Clint."

"Why not?"

"Because you have too much going for you here. Look at you, you've bounced back from something that should surely have killed you."

"Yes look at me, I'm paralysed, that's what I am, and in constant pain."

"With your..." Phil gestured to his legs, "adaptation you're far from that."

"Jeez, Coulson, I can wear these things for four hours at a stretch if I push it and then I'm ready to scream the planet down, but," he took a steadying breath, "my injuries don't matter one way or the other, what I want does, and that is to be with you."

"It's not that simple, Clint, this isn't a holiday, it's unlikely that you would be able to come back, I have no idea how long it will go on for... It's lonely and isolating. You're not that type of man."

Clint countered, "Will we be together?"

"Yes."

"Will I be able to touch you?"

"Yes but..."

"Taste you?"

Coulson gulped and nodded.

"Live out whatever life we have together?"

"Yes." Phil whispered.

"Raina told me about this, I have been thinking about it. It's not out of the blue... I'm tired, Phil, I've fought all my life, is it so wrong to want something for myself."

"No, of course not, but the price is too high, the isolation, the eternity of it. For all you know, I might drive you crazy?" He said seriously.

"Oh yeah," Clint smirked, "I'm kind of hoping for that."

Phil ignored the innuendo, "This..."

"This is right," Clint interrupted, "you and me. It's always been, boss. Please don't do what everybody else has always done to me." He pleaded.

Phil obviously understanding said, "I'm not your parents or Barney, Clint, if I could find a way…"

"There is a way, and even if I were standing here completely able-bodied, I would still be asking the same of you. You have no idea how empty my life has been without you, shit even Nat got fed up with me and pounced off with your dream boy!"

"Clint.."

"Can I help you with your work?" Clint tried a different tack. "If I came with you, could I help."

Phil thought for a moment, "Probably, yes I think you..."

"Then let me take some of the weight," Clint ran his hands along the fine fabric on Phil's shoulders, "off of you. We can be a team again, what do you say?"

"I..."

"I love you, I want to spend every waking moment with you... we do get to sleep right?" He asked spoiling the earlier words.

"Of course."

"Good," he smiled, "I'm looking forward to that!"

"Clint," Phil said tiredly.

"I... Want... To! I've already put my affairs in order, everything is set, you just have to tell me, that you want me too, that's all, Phil, that's all. Say it please."

Raina couldn't help but peer across to see the answer, she felt overwhelmingly despondent when Coulson, shook his head and looked to the floor before saying, "I'm sorry, I feel so guilty but..." After all this she couldn't believe it and neither could Barton obviously because he took a staggering step back as if he had been hit, shaking his head, his mouth opening but no words coming out. She observed as Coulson step forward, his hands once again seeking the young man this time to grip onto the tight tee shirt that barely stretched across the muscle of his chest, "Wait! I'm so selfish, but I want that too, so much, I want it more than life itself and it's not fair to you to take you away from your life, but god I want to so much. I want to wake up to you next to me for all eternity. But are you really sure, Clint?"

Clint gasped, "Fuck yes, yes, yes, yes."

Raina felt like a voyeur as this time when they kissed it was slow and lingering, an exchange of vows in the corporeal form, small puffs of sound coming from each man with the perfection of it. She imagined in horror at her own thoughts especially as they weren't as negative about the idea as they should be, tongues mingling, stroking, searching not for domination but to find their way home at long last.

Clint pulled back dreamily, "Should I have packed a suitcase?"

"Ah, no, that won't be necessary," Phil ticked his cheek up, "it's more of a thought thing."

"Fuck we're screwed then, if you are relying on my thoughts."

"Don't do that, Clint, you are one of the most intelligent and clever people I have ever met, and I'd pick you every time." Coulson said seriously.

Clint snickered, and teased, "I think you made a mistake on that dating website you found me on, are you sure you clicked on the intelligentsia page and not the genitalia page?"

Phil chuckled, "Nuts... do you think? There were pictures, did you," Phil waved his hand across Clint's crotch, "pose?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Raina cleared her throat loudly.

Phil turned red and Clint laughed out loud. Grabbed Phil's hand and turned to Raina. "I'm terribly sorry, Raina, Phil just gets a little testy when I say I'm a dick or I drop the ball, he can be hard on me, like a dog with a bone."

Coulson sighed, a happy tone to it, "Clint, stop. Pay no attention to him, Raina, he's just... yanking your chain."

Raina watched in horror as both men burst into fits of giggles, it was terrifying to see what the power of infatuation did to people.

Coulson regained some dignity and stepped forward; he took her hands in his, and brought one to his lips kissing it, "Thank you, Raina, I can't tell you what pleasure you have brought to me, his head turned briefly to look back at Clint, who smiled. "I have to leave you now, I... We..." He smiled, "won't be returning. Well, I doubt it anyway," he said after some thought.

Raina's job was done, she knew, but it would still be hard to walk away from this, she was still in the dark as to why he had chosen her to help him with his quest to find the love of his life. She wasn't walking away with a financial gain, or any profit for herself at all, but she was, as cliched as it sounded walking away a better person for the experience. In all honesty there had been no one that had influenced her in any way that had been nice before and maybe her balance between good and … what would she call it, not evil in the normal sense, some would see her behaviour as such for sure but she just wanted to advance mankind, even if it meant that mankind had to suffer for it, she wasn't prepared to examine that to closely, not anymore, not since she started coming here. So it seemed that she had been swayed since this had all started, only time would tell how much.

Coulson smiled sadly at her, looking directly into her eyes, and said as if reading her thoughts, "On one of the first occasions that we met here you told me something that had been said to you, Raina." He brought his hand up to grip her shoulder, "But Garrett was wrong, when he said that you would be a monster." His eyes drifted away to the floor for a second before returning, and remarking strongly, "Maybe if he was standing here right now that would be true. He would have made you so, but he's not," his hand tightened, "he's not, he's long gone. He smiled at her, "I can tell you, you are going to be so much more, you have so much to give." He pulled her into a hug and divulged, "That is all you have to remember, my child, you have to give and not always take. You'll understand soon enough Raina, why I choose you, why we meet here in this pit," he stepped away from her, looking round the room almost fondly. When he turned back, his eyes held a plea in them, "Make sure you say yes," he remarked without explanation, "It's a funny old world, and it's all connected." He reached back and grabbed Clint's hand pulling him to stand next to him, "goodbye Raina," he whispered as he and Barton started to fade away, leaving only the echo of his voice, "It's all connected."

She stepped forward, too late, and she gasped out, "Goodbye," to an empty room. She walked over to his window with the little peephole, it was already becoming nearly as grimy as the rest of the pane. Looking out she could imagine Coulson and Barton, rushing round the corner, pushing each other against the wall and kissing just like the couple that she has spotted the first time she looked down at the scene below. Job done... But how she would miss him! She sighed and smoothed her dress down across her hips; that was the only trouble with silk, she thought. As she left the room, she ran her fingers over the back of his chair, closed her eyes for a second and opened the door in one smooth motion, time to move on.

"Stand still, and put your hands clearly in the air."

Raina stood surprised at the voice, following the instructions to the letter, she'd never been a fighter and when surrounded by guns all pointing at her she had little choice. With a nod of the head from the speaker, a woman pushed forward and patted her down, "Surely you don't think I have anything concealed in this, Agent May?" she drawled.

"Raina we have long learned it best to be safe rather than sorry with you," the man stepped forward at some invisible signal from his second.

"Agent Coulson, oh sorry, I should say Director Coulson, shouldn't I? News travels fast in these parts."

"Yes," Coulson looked around with distaste, "you bring us to the nicest places."

She shrugged her shoulders, "Funding problems," she smiled sweetly.

"I imagine," he looked past her into the open room, "are you alone? It looked like you had a stalker a little way behind you." He turned and with another nod a young black man raised his gun and entered the small room.

"Replacement for Ward?" She asked innocently.

"It's clear," the voice rebounded behind her.

"Have you been watching me, Director?"

"For a few days."

She snorted, "I guess I might have been the unsavoury type you were watching for all along."

Coulson looked a little perplexed at the words, and he said pleasantly, "What have you been up to since we last met, Raina."

"Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, although..." She looked hard at Coulson, "you might. But a girl doesn't kiss and tell." A broad grin spread across her face, "Only today I've got to hang around with the undead."

Coulson frowned but then smiled with understanding, "Are you talking about me again?"

"Funny you should say that."

Coulson sighed, "I'm rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D again, Raina.

She looked round at the band around her, "You're starting small," she lifted her brow teasing.

"It's coming together rather nicely, We've found a good number of assets and we have hunted down quite a few of the criminals Garrett let free."

"And now you have little old me," she smiled sweetly then pouted. "I've got to say I'm a little disappointed I wasn't higher on your criminal mastermind list though."

"Oh," he smirked, "you aren't on my criminal mastermind list at all. It's met with some resistance," he glanced over at May, "but I have a feeling about you, you rather remind me of someone I used to know, he didn't have the best start in life either," he frowned in thought before refocusing, "I'd like to make you an offer you shouldn't refuse."

She smiled.