He begged. And it wasn't the first time. But Batman refused:

"Not until we develop a Kryptonite lined condom" he would tease, sending Kal a raised eyebrow and a crooked smile.

"But Bruce", Superman tried, still in uniform, "nothing will happen. What could possibly be different?"

An argument he had made before. Batman decided to either put the nonsense to rest or to good use, so to speak. He put a more serious frown upon his face and leaned in over his lover, who sat on his desk chair at his private quarters.

"If I were to fuck you in the ass, what do you suppose would happen to my cock the second you clenched around me? Don't you remember what happened the first time you gave me a hand job and got a little too exited?"

Kal didn't answer. He didn't wish to hurt Bruce, but…

"It hurt every time I got an erection for the following six weeks…"

He devoted his attention to the task in front of him again, saying, almost to himself; "first time I ever woke up screaming from having a nice dream…"

Superman looked depressed. He sensed his request was permanently denied, and what was worse: He knew Batman was right. Right enough to never let Kal ask that question again without being flooded with a guilty conscious.

"Am I to take this as if you are unhappy with my blowjob technique?" the dark knight tried in a lighter tone, not wanting to make the mood too serious. He still hoped to get some action before the shadows wrapped themselves around Gotham.

"God no!" Superman moaned, the mere thought stirring a slight movement in his tights.

Batman let a satisfied expression fill the cowl-free part of his face. He kept to his task: stocking his belt for the nights patrol. As long as Clark relentlessly kept this debate going, he might as well get some work done.

"I just want you, Bruce" he started as he tried to move in closer. "I want to feel you inside of me" he whispered as he put his strong arms around the bat from behind. The cape made it rather hard for Superman to do so and even more uncomfortable for Bruce, so he turned around to face the man behind him, pulling of the cowl and thereby the cape.

"You just want to feel me?" he asked skeptically. "Nothing else?"

"No" Kal stated with as much care and desire as he could muster, "nothing more."

"Alright."

This was a new smile and a devious shadow spread across Bruce Wayne's baby blues:

"I'll do it if you promise me not to come."

Superman pulled away a little to study the smirk. Batman looked almost triumphant.

"Why would that make a difference?"

Batman answered in the manner of a scientist:

"An orgasm consists of involuntary muscle spasms. In that state you might not be able to take the proper precautions that would allow me to do the deed unharmed. If you however give up on this particular bodily phenomenon, I at least have a chance of getting through the act without hemorrhaging."

Batman was a romantic…

"You make it sound so festive".

"Deal or no deal" Batman offered while raising a flat hand, ready to accept the handshake he knew Kal would give him.

Now Superman suddenly understood why Wayne Enterprises were so successful in their negotiations.